Showing posts with label precious martin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label precious martin. Show all posts

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Judge orders Hinds County to turn over Motorola settlement agreement to JJ

Special Chancellor Larry Buffington ordered Hinds County to turn over to Jackson Jambalaya a copy of the settlement agreement between the county and Motorola. Hinds County sued Motorola in 2009 for damages. Hinds County claimed Motorola allowed Ridgeland and Madison to "bootleg" off of the radio system.*  The case settled for an undisclosed amount in 2011. It is not known how much money Hinds County or its attorney, Precious Martin, received in the settlement agreement. Attorney Curt Crowley represented Jackson Jambalaya.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hinds judges recuse themselves, Top court appoints Judge Zebert to hears JJ's motion to intervene

The Mississippi Supreme Court appointed retired Chancellor Thomas Zebert on December 16, 2011 to hear the motion to intervene filed by this website against Motorola and Hinds County. Attorney Curt Crowley filed a motion for recusal on December 8, 2011 in Hinds County Chancery Court on behalf of this website in Motorola v. Hinds County. Jackson Jambalaya filed a motion to intervene on May 24, 2011 seeking a copy of the settlement agreement between Hinds County and Motorola. JJ filed the motion for recusal after numerous efforts to obtain a hearing date from the court were unsuccessful. Judge Zebert adjudicated a similar matter between Hinds County and Motorola two years ago. Post on Hinds/Motorola public records lawsuit

The order states

"This matter is before the Court upon request by the Chancellors... for the appointment of a Special Judge to preside over the preceedings... this request being necessitated by the recusal of the Judges for said Court by virtue of an Order of Recusal executed on December 12, 2011.

Having fully considered this matter, the Court finds that the request is proper pursuant to Miss. Code Ann. Section 9-1-105.

It is therefore ordered and adjudged that Honorable Thomas I. Zebert, Senior Status Judge, be, and he is, hereby specially appointed as Special Judge to preside and conduct proceedings in the above referenced case.."

Earlier post on motion and background of case

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Judge Thomas does not set hearing. JJ files motion for recusal.

Attorney Curt Crowley filed a motion for recusal yesterday in Hinds County Chancery Court on behalf of this website in Motorola v. Hinds County. Jackson Jambalaya filed a motion to intervene on May 24, 2011 seeking a copy of the settlement agreement between Hinds County and Motorola. JJ filed the motion for recusal after numerous efforts to obtain a hearing date from the court were unsuccessful.

Mr. Crowley sent a request to the court via email requesting a hearing date on June 1, 2011. Mr. Crowley called the court and left messages. Mr. Crowley finally sent a letter on September 16, 2011 to the court with the same request. Judge Thomas still did not set a hearing date despite what Mississippi Code Section 25-61-13 states:

"(3) Proceedings arising under this section shall take precedence on the docket over all other matters and shall be assigned for hearing and trial at the earliest practicable date and expedited in every way. Such suits may be heard in termtime or in vacation."

Hinds County retained Attorney Precious Martin, husband of board attorney Crystal Martin and son-in-law of the senior chancery judge, to pursue legal action against Motorola. The county signed a contingency fee agreement with Mr. Martin. The two parties settled the case.

This correspondent filed a public records request with Hinds County seeking a copy of the settlement in the lawsuit. Hinds County did not fulfill or deny my request but instead notified Motorola. Motorola filed a petition for a protective order in Hinds County Chancery Court requesting the court permanently seal the settlement. This correspondent filed a motion to intervene asking the court to order Hinds County to release a copy of the settlement agreement. Hinds filed a response opposing the motion. See links posted below for copies of the documents filed by each side.

It is the position of this correspondent that since Hinds County IS a public body, the settlement is a public record and the public is entitled view it. The case is civil, not criminal in nature and is not part of an investigation. Such accountability is the foundation of representative government. The court will be the proper forum for me to discuss the merits of this motion.

The motion states:

"The movant has attempted for more than six months to set his motion to intervene for hearing, bu the Court has failed to set the matter for hearing or respond to movant's counsel's requests to set the motion for hearing. The failure of the court to set the motion for hearing has caused unjust prejudice to the movant and to the public, as the delay has enabled Hinds County to hide the expenditure of public funds form the personal enrichment of public employees and their relatives. The Court's inaction on the motion to intervene is likewise disturbing because the delay in adjudicating this matter violates the provisions of Mississippi Code Section 25-61-13*. Viewed in the totality of the circumstances, the unjustified delay in setting a hearing or ruling upon the motion creates the appearance of impropriety.

All Chancellors in this district previously recused themselves in related public records litigation between these same parties (see post linked below). That litigation involved public records sought by Motorola to assist it in defending the Circuit Court action filed by Hinds County. If recusal was warranted in the previous litigation, it is certainly warranted in the instant case. Unlike the previous litigation, the instant case involves the expenditure of public funds to insiders. At least one of those insiders is a close relative of the Senior Chancery Judge in this district. The Chancellors of this district should recuse themselves for the same reasons they recused themselves in the previous case.

Judge Thomas either currently or recently has a financial interest in other litigation, wherein he served as co-counsel with Precious T. Martin, Sr., the attorney in the instant litigation (From the footnote: Two antitrust cases were appointed as "Special Assistant Attorney General" to prosecute for Mississippi. Upon information and belief, the attorney's fees from one or both of these actions have not yet been awarded and disbursed. Judge Thomas and Mr. Martin both have a "continuing pecuniary interest in the outcome of these cases."). The business relationship between Judge Thomas and Mr. Martin gives the appearance of impropriety, as this relationship would cause a reasonable person to doubt Judge Thomas' impartiality in this case.

The public funds referenced in the records in issue were used in part for the personal enrichment of Crystal Wise Martin, who serves as Attorney to the Hinds County Board of Supervisors. Mrs. Martin is s the wife of Precious Martin. Mrs. Martin is also the daughter of Judge Patricia D. Wise, the Senior Chancery Court Judge in this district. As stated previously, Mr. and Mrs. Martin have a strong personal interest in avoiding disclosure of these records. Any ruling adverse to Hinds County would also be adverse to Mr. and Mrs. Martin. Considering that Mrs. Martin is the daughter of the Senior Chancery Judge in this district, a reasonable person would have doubts as to whether the Chancellors in this district could render a judgment adverse to Mrs. Martin's personal interests.

These facts, either singularly or cumulatively, necessitate the recusal of Judge Thomas and the Chancellors of the Fifth Chancery Court District. There exists a strong appearance of impropriety in the Chancellors of this district presiding over this case. A reasonable person, knowing all these facts and circumstances, would question the impartiality of the Chancellors of this district. For this reason, the movant respectfully requests that Judge J. Dewayne Thomas and all other Chancellors in the district recuse themselves from further participation in this case. The Movant further respectfully requests that this matter be referred to the Mississippi Supreme Court for the appointment of a Special Chancery Judge.


*Mississippi Code Section 25-61-13:
"(3) Proceedings arising under this section shall take precedence on the docket over all other matters and shall be assigned for hearing and trial at the earliest practicable date and expedited in every way. Such suits may be heard in termtime or in vacation."

JJ files response to Hinds County
Hinds response
Hinds files response and tries to keep settlement secret
Motion to intervene post
Motorola public records lawsuit against Hinds
Precious Martin has a sweet contract

Note: WLBT is joining in the motion to intervene. Other media outlets, yes, including the JFP, are welcome to contact us if interested in doing so as well. A government agency filing lawsuits and then sealing agreements involving such large sums of money and family relationships is indeed a matter of concern for the fourth estate.



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Monday, October 17, 2011

Did Madison & Ridgeland really "bootleg" off of Hinds radio system?

The Motorola lawsuit filed by Hinds County several years ago has been the subject of much controversy and media coverage. However, media coverage does not mean media scrutiny as there has been little reporting about the lawsuit itself, much less any analysis (I must disclose that this website is engaged in litigation against Hinds County and Motorola over the settlement agreement of the lawsuit as the two parties attempt to hide it from public view.). The case is important as Hinds received $1.5 million from the settlement while neighboring law enforcement agencies are once again unable to communicate with Hinds County and JPD.

Supervisor Robert Graham moved at a board meeting in 2008 to have Brown Communications "audit" the county radio system. Then-Brown employees Stacy Stowers and Nathan Hargrove examined the system and issued their report only eleven days later at a speed that can only be labeled as a model in private-sector efficiency. The report claimed Madison, Ridgeland, and other agencies were "bootlegging" off of the system. The Jackson Free Press reported in August 2008:

"Hinds County Supervisor Robert Graham said a preliminary audit suggests the cities of Madison and Ridgeland have been bootlegging Hinds County’s 800 MHz Motorola digital radio system with the help of a former Hinds County employee. The audit, conducted by Browns Communication of Jackson, also suggests the unauthorized users have passed Hinds County’s system key along to other vendors, who are also using it without Hinds County Board of Supervisors’ approval." Article

The Supervisors subsequently retained the husband of the board attorney on a contingency fee basis to sue Motorola for damages. Attorney Precious Martin asked for $15 million in damages from Motorola in a demand letter. Motorola did not comply with his demands and the county filed suit. The case settled earlier this year for an undisclosed amount after going to trial for two days. Such action probably boosted Mr. Martin's level of pay to 40% of the settlement and expenses. Several stories reported Hinds County received $1.5 million from the lawsuit as the amount appeared in the county ledger. The case was assigned to Hinds County Circuit Judge Winston Kidd. The jury was selected (11 black jurors, one white juror) and seated when Motorola settled the case. However, it is still unknown how much Mr. Martin was paid or what the terms of the settlement were.

Hinds County filed suit against Motorola, John Wilson, Bill Roberts, and several John Does on February 5, 2009. John Wilson was a Captain in the Hinds County Sheriff's Office for over twenty years and is now in the employ of Motorola. Bill Roberts was a Motorola sales agent. The lawsuit claimed Motorola conspired with Wilson and surrounding local governments to give those governments access to Hinds County's radio system and equipment. Hinds also claimed Motorola lied to the board about the need for upgrades in order to increase sales to the county. Hinds County argues it never intended for anyone to have a system key (fancy name for the password) to its radio system and it never authorized anyone to give such access.

The lawsuit charged the defendants with counts of fraudulent misrepresentation or omission, trespass, negligence, fraudulent deceit, breach of contract, intentional mismanagement, civil conspiracy, and breach of fiduciary duty. Oddly enough, Hinds County did not include Madison or Ridgeland as defendants. Odd if they are the ones who were allegedly stealing from Hinds County. Motorola answered on March 16, 2009 and predictably denied the allegations.

JJ examined the court records, talked to numerous individuals involved in the controversy, and has a pretty good idea of what took place. A major problem in metro area law enforcement has been in the area of communications. Specifically, Hinds County has always operated a radio system that can not communicate with other agencies. If police from other areas are in pursuit of suspects, they can not notify JPD or HCSO they are coming into their jurisdictions. If a disaster happens in Hinds County, first responders from other areas will have radio equipment that does not work in Hinds County. If JPD is in pursuit of a suspect into another county, they can't talk to the local police department for support.

Although the inability to communicate has been the subject of much controversy for many years, nothing was done until 2006 when the FCC decreed Sprint/Nextel had to re-band the 800 MHZ frequency. JJ obtained through public records requests copies of numerous emails, letters, and proposals between the parties that are posted below.

Madison and Ridgeland made a formal agreement with Hinds County through Captain John Wilson (See the first document posted below). Agreements were signed. Votes were taken. Captain Wilson negotiated with Motorola on behalf of Hinds, Madison, and Ridgeland.A letter from Madison Police Chief Waldrup to the Mayor and Aldermen states "The FCC has ordered Sprint/Nextel to update agency's radio equipment and/or relocate agency frequencies that will not convert to the reassigned frequencies." The letter also states the control panel for the "new interoperable system is located in Hinds County." Chief Waldrup then requested authorization be given to Captain Wilson to negotiate for the city.

Captain Wilson was the leading communications expert for Hinds County and was tasked to work under Hinds County EOC Director Larry Fisher. Mayor Mary Hawkins-Butler issued a letter on May 30, 2006 approving the request and cc'ed Hinds EOC Director Larry Fisher. Madison spent $1.24 million (see documents below) on the new equipment. Ridgeland passed a similar resolution. Did everyone get that? Captain John Wilson of Hinds County negotiated with Motorola on behalf of Hinds County, Madison, and Ridgeland with Motorola. Does this sound like "bootlegging"?

The problem is there was no memorandum of understanding between the governments nor was there a vote by the Hinds County Board of Supervisors recorded in the minutes. Just because there was no MOU or vote taken does not mean the Board was not aware of the project. The minutes from July 18, 2005 state on page 3: "

"Mr. Larry Fisher, Emergency Management Director, updated the Board on communication equipment for the City of Jackson... They discussed moving forward with this endeavor and anticipate this has been brought before the Board in the near future. This will enable public safety communication between Hinds, Rankin, Madison, and Warren Counties. There was discussion on this matter, no action was taken."

Mr. Fisher told this correspondent he and Captain Wilson told the Board about the project. Mr. Fisher said he told the Supervisors they were working with Madison, Ridgeland, and other agencies to have a compatible system and it would not cost the county any money. He said Supervisor Doug Anderson said if that was the case, they did not need to take a vote so none was taken. Such claims would explain why Motorola sought copies of the audio recordings of the meetings (and why Hinds sought to exclude them if they existed.).

Mr. Fisher also disputed the audit's findings as he said there was no cost to the system to allow other agencies to use it. He said the towers would operate regardless of who used them while there was a need for law enforcement agencies to have the ability to communicate across county lines. It should be noted Hinds County did not include Mr. Fisher's deposition in any part of the court file.

Mr. Fisher DID send a letter to then-Mayor Frank Melton that stated Hinds, Jackson, UMC, AMR, Clinton, Vicksburg, Madison, Ridgeland, Warren County, and Rankin County would all be using the same system (See exhibit below). Captain Wilson stated in his affidavit (See second document posted below) Board President Charles Barbour and other Supervisors were briefed on the matter. Captain Wilson said he was authorized by Mr. Fisher and Sheriff Malcolm McMillin to create a system where first responders "could communicate with each other." However, Sheriff McMillin denied giving him such authority in his affidavit.

Motorola filed a motion to disqualify attorney Precious Martin. It is rather interesting reading and mentions the "Waffle House meeting". Copy of motion. Motorola also filed a motion seeking a change of venue. Hinds filed its own motions to exclude evidence on the Byram police radio controversy and allegations Stowers and Hargrove stole from Brown Communications. However, the case settled before any of these were adjudicated. Motorola has filed a request for a protective order sealing the case.


Editorial comment: What do I think happened? The inability of surrounding first responders and law enforcement agencies to communicate with those on Hinds County's radio system has been a HUGE problem for years. I think several Hinds officials such as Mr. Fisher and Captain Wilson as well as some Supervisors realized this and decided to fix the problem. There were negotiations, signed agreements and the like. What did NOT take place was a board vote or a memorandum of understanding between the different governments but since Mr. Fisher told the board there were no extra costs, its understandable they would not vote on the matter.

Mr. Graham comes into office, uses his expertise as a police communications expert to "audit" the system and shazam, the guys he picks discover a massive theft no one knew was taking place. They used the lack of a vote or MOU as a loophole to go after Motorola. What is really interesting is they never sued Madison or Ridgeland. Now if there was bootlegging or theft, it was done by those two cities and other governments, not Motorola. So why didn't Hinds sue the alleged culprits instead of the vendor? What is interesting is when Madison and Ridgeland went to the Wireless Commission a year ago to join the statewide radio system (MSWIN), Mr. Smith appeared at the meeting to oppose their leaving the Hinds system. Mr. Hargrove told the Commission it would cost Hinds money for them to leave the system although he was unable to specify how much or how such cost could be determined when asked by Commissioners. So if they stay on the system, they bootleg, if they leave, they have to pay. Heads I win, tails you lose.







Read page 12:




Copy of complaint
Motorola answer to complaint.
Dismissal of lawsuit
The audit
George Smith affidavit
Affidavit of Peggy Hobson-Calhoun
Affidavit of Doug Anderson



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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Hinds is getting downright funny.

The Mississippi Center for Public Policy rolled out the updates to its Seethespending.org website. The new version provides readers with spending records from 62 counties in Mississippi. MCPP President Forest Thigpen pointed out that Hinds County was the only county that did not respond to the request. WAPT's Bulldog Simmons reported

"WAPT's Scott Simmons went to the Hinds County Chancery Clerk's office to find out why the county hadn't responded.

"I will accept some responsibility here, but I am not going to accept the total responsibility because I sent it to the board attorney," said Chancery Clerk Eddie Jean Carr.

Carr said she received the request from the center on July 16, 2010, and forwarded it to the board attorney three days later.

"After your questions, we have gotten a call from the county attorney," Thigpen told Simmons.

Thigpen said the nonprofit group had waited 14 months for a response. Crystal Martin, of the county attorney's office, said a response was made to the request, but the number called was disconnected. Martin said it was assumed that the public information request was withdrawn
."

As my old friend TNT on Tigerroar.com would say, UH-HUH. This is typical behavior for Hinds County attorneys as they repeatedly play games with public records request. When Mr. Thigpen made these comments this morning, I immediately assumed Ms. Carr gave the request to Ms. Martin as Ms. Carr runs a pretty tight ship and has never been linked to the controversies produced by the Supervisors and their lawyers. Sure enough, WAPT confirmed what I thought. I considered it to be a typical experience when filing public records requests in Hinds County.

When this correspondent filed a public records request for a copy of the Motorola Settlement, Attorney Precious Martin sent me an answer via certified mail. Yup. Certified mail. Then there is one I filed in April. I submitted this request in person at the courthouse downtown. A copy was made, stamped, and initialed so it could be shown if needed at a later date it was indeed submitted on that date. Its a practice I follow after other agencies such as Medicaid and the City of Jackson have somehow lost my requests only to suddenly find them when I produced the receipt.

The response to my request was late by one week. When I pointed out they were a week late and the date I submitted them, I was told she "disagreed with the characterization" of when it was submitted. Yes, stating the date on the receipt is a "characterization", something to be manipulated, you know, fuzzy math. two plus two could be characterized as being four but it could be characterized as being three, or five, or whatever I say it is.

Then there is the change order provided to the FCC for one million dollars against Sprint/Nextel by Precious Martin. The change order was mentioned in the minutes. It was submitted to the FCC. It definitely exists yet when I submitted a public records request for it this year, Ms. Martin wrote in a response the county "was not in possession" of the change order. Got to love Hinds County sophistry. However, a case last year showed the lengths to which Hinds County will pursue to avoid complying with public records requests.

Motorola filed a public records request on April 13, 2010. Hinds County "failed to produce or deny access in writing along with a statement as to the specific reasons for the denial of access to such records within such time period." The records requested were board minutes, reports, emails, accounting reports regarding security for Hinds County circuit judges and their courtrooms. Hinds County replied nearly a month later that such information was..... attorney work product or related to litigation. yes, board minutes are exempt from public records law if you claim work product or lawsuits.

The lawsuit dragged on for over a year as Hinds County attorneys used every possible excuse to delay final judgment. Judge Zebert found for Motorola and awarded over $8,000 in attorney's fees to Motorola. Hinds naturally appealed the judgment but Motorola filed a satisfaction of judgment and release on April 28, 2011. About the same time it settled the civil lawsuit over the use of the radio system by Madison and Ridgeland with Motorola.

So today we get the "phone is disconnected" excuse. Given Hinds County's handling of other requests, one can only speculate why Ms. Martin suddenly forgot how to use the United States Post Office. While she is explaining that, perhaps she can explain why she did not inform the supervisors they needed to get permission from the Wireless Commission before purchasing over $100,000 in EF Johnson radios or why a contract with Derrick Johnson was legal when he was not a licensed attorney.

Just like the Energizer Bunny. It just keeps going and going and going...




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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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