Thursday, September 7, 2023

Mississippi Today: Who is Judge Wingate?

One might think a federal judge slamming Jackson's Mayor and his crew might be newsworthy and it is - unless one works at Mississippi Today.  U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate's blistered Mayor Chokwe Lumumba in a July opinion yet the publication somehow didn't consider it to be news even though it covered the hearing. 

Mayor Lumumba, his sister Rukia, and her various organizations of activists tried to bully JXN Water Manager Ted Henifin into allowing them to steer contracts and take more control over his organization.  When they couldn't get their way, Mayor Lumumba started filing motions in federal court.  As the Mayor attacked Mr. Henifin through the courts, Sista Rukia roused her rabble to make it appear the "public" backed the Mayor.

JJ reported on July 24: 

The Lumumbas led the charge against JXN Water Manager Ted Henifin two weeks ago in federal court.  City Attorney Tori Martin, Rukia Lumumba, and members of the Order of the Sisters of Rukia accused Mr. Henifin of racism, only hiring white employees while picking white contractors, and having "transparency issues."   They asked the Court to allow the Mayor to "advise" Mr. Henifin on picking contractors.  They also wanted to see all communications between the Court and Mr. Henifin.  The Water Manager is an employee of the Court.  

The shenanigans began when Ms. Martin asked for a status conference to be held on July 7 to discuss these matters of great concern.  Judge Wingate held the hearing and continued it to July 12-13 so he could hear from the "community groups" and Jackson Fire Department officials.

 


 

A parade of activists working for Rukia Lumumba's front organization belched their grievances in the two-day July hearing.  

Judge Wingate heard it all, took their concerns under advisement, and then blasted them in a rather damning opinion.  Mississippi Today covered the hearing but somehow could not seem to report the opinion even though one would think that a federal slamming the Mayor and his cronies was newsworthy.  How damning was the opinion? Read what did not make the pages of Mississippi Today

 This accomplishment (KF: Fixing the Colonial water leak), ALONE, should elevate Henifin and his dedicated crew to heroic status…but the staunchest of his critics can only see Race and Outsider Prejudice. “Ted is white,” they protested. Jackson, they said, is more than 80% African American. As such, they reasoned, Jackson should have its water savior an African American and, more, someone from Jackson itself. These critics inexplicably did not appreciate the inexcusable impact of these racially-charged words uttered in a deep-South State they have attacked all their lives for racism. Lady Justice must have experienced a stabbing pain from these dagger-like words which are so reminiscent of times when African Americans have been on the receiving end. The speakers of these malignant sentences could not justify their statements. They have no experience in water management, and no logical rationale why an African American would be better suited to fix a lingering problem which has gone unsolved for decades by past African American leadership....

 A number of speakers also expressed their immense disapproval that the water/sewage Call Center had been set up in Pearl, Rankin County, instead of within the Jackson City limits. Henifin’s response was persuasive. JXN Water, his company, has contracted with Protel, Inc. to handle customer calls starting on June 5, 2023. From that date to July 10, 2023 (5 weeks), the Call Center has had 10,984 incoming calls (an average of 313 per day). The average “wait time” has been 1 minute and 46 seconds, and average “talk time” 3 minutes and 35 seconds. Prior to this contract with Protel, Jackson City employees, aided by temporary staff, had been handling consumer calls. Their statistics were unimpressive: for the period of March 1, 2023, through April 1, 2023, the Call Center received approximately 682 calls per day. The average “wait time” was 4 hours and 9 minutes. Over 30% of the calls were abandoned after the callers were placed on hold longer than 10 minutes. What troubling statistics! Perhaps, Henifin’s opponents did not place calls to the Call Center when it was under the control of the City of Jackson....

 Tellingly, while the City originally estimated that the City contained some 4500 hydrants in its system, Wachs (KF: Henifin's contractor) has identified nearly 8000 hydrants, to date. This mapping effort is ongoing. Henifin currently is endeavoring to collaborate with the JFD on marking and inspecting the City’s many fire hydrants. Henifin’s efforts are making a difference Jacksonians should appreciate..... Earlier post and copy of opinion.

 The misinformation continued....

Such remarks are apparently not newsworthy in the Woodlands on East County Line Road.  

There is only one reason why the online "newspaper" did not report the opinion: It did not fit the publication's narrative.  Such an omission is not malpractice or even yellow journalism but is instead a conscious decision hide news from the public because the opinion doesn't fit Mississippi Today's support of the Mayor.  MT had no problems covering the hearing when the Mayor's supporters were having their say.  July 14, 2023 article.   Why would Mississippi Today report on a hearing yet ignore the outcome?

Even the hearing coverage was somewhat suspect. MT reporter Alex Rozier made no mention of Jackson City Attorney Tori Martin's unprofessional behavior in court and her numerous admonishments from the bench.  Indeed, Mr. Rozier slanted his reporting in favor of the Mayor: 

Wingate called out Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba multiple times, including over having side conversations and for using his cellphone during proceedings, despite others having their phones out as well. 

What Mr. Rozier did not report (although WLBT managed to do so) is only attorneys are allowed to have cellphones in federal courtrooms.  The Mayor came to court, acting as an attorney even though he was just the client. Hizzoner tried to say he was a lawyer but Judge Wingate lectured the Mayor, telling him he was in court as a client, not a lawyer.   Mr. Henifin later displayed his cellphone to "What about him" claims from Ms. Martin but Judge Wingate rebuked them as he said the water receiver asked the Court's permission to bring his cellphone to Court.  

It was not the first time the Mayor tried to act as a lawyer during the hearing.  Ms. Martin got in trouble with the bench on another occasion.  Hizzoner tried to argue her cause when she got in trouble with the Court yet Judge Wingate was having none of it as reminded the Mayor he was only a client and not an attorney that day. These little exchanges somehow went under Mr. Rozier's radar although reported by other media.

Mississippi Today also ignored letters sent to the Court by prominent Jackson busnissmen such as Jeff Good and Breck Hines while providing ample coverage to the comments of Sista Rukia's astroturfers.  So much for the local business community as some activists are apparently more equal than others.  

However, this is not the first time Mississippi Today tipped the scales when reporting on the Jackson water system.  

Mayor Lumumba and his cronies questioned whether Jackson's water was safe to drink at a June 14 press conference.  The press conference was held to discuss the distribution of water filters to pregnant women and mothers of young children.  Although it was a story that could have been written at any time over the last five years, Mississippi Today suddenly reported mothers in Jackson did not trust the water's safety. Article. Coincidence?

Of course, if one wants to see some real slanting, check out Mississippi Today's coverage of Governor Tate Reeves' Labor Day 2022 press conference on Jackson's water system.  It was the first time the Governor publicly slammed the Mayor over his management of Jackson's water system.  Unfortunately, Mississippi Today did not report the Governor's criticism even though Editor Adam Ganucheau personally wrote the story.  See for yourself.  The coverage runs in a similar vein as this April 21, 2022 interview where Mississippi Today reporters threw softball after softball to Mayor Lumumba with nary a challenging word spoken. 

Make no mistake, Mississippi Today employs reporters that are quite capable and yes, have won national awards. It is a shame to see such a publication following the vices of Dickie Scruggs instead of the virtues of Jim Barksale where certain subjects are concerned. However, that is the path it has taken and that, my friends, is the bottom line.

 

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mississippi Today is no more a "newspaper" that Chowke is a "mayor".

Anonymous said...

American newsrooms are filled with urban conformists from the Left, firmly sure they and only they and their limousine liberal owners are right, that the "deplorables" are wrong, and that their bias is the only true religion. Dare one speak ill of the Administration or Agenda, they will be quickly disciplined. And, then they'll have a few craft beers or 8 buck lattes together, and rest easy in their omniscience and virtue.

Good article to read. Read the whole thing, not just the opening self serving paragraphs. Trigger warning: NY Times. Same piece that had the gall to have Brooks say maybe the Left is wrong sometimes. I know, blasphemy.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/07/opinion/elites-blm-police.html

As always, our local Leftists are 5-15 years behind the times, especially in self awareness. But utterly conformist.

"Shocking truth: "Taking police off the streets may minimize the possibility of police violence against Black people, but it will do little to mitigate the far greater problem of all other violence against Black people.

Many Black people, particularly outside of elite circles, are all too aware of this. As deBoer notes, “significant majorities of Black Americans want not less policing but better policing.”

As every cop in NYPD said under De Blasio, the grandmothers in projects don't want Less Police; they want more. And then came Adams to double down on dumb and Dem. And we got his soulmate, LuMumbler. SMH.

Anonymous said...

How in the hell anyone of any political stripe could support or slant coverage for the mayor is beyond me. This is the worst most incompetent mayor in my 30 years in Jackson by a wide margin. That’s really saying something.

Traditionally I’m a democrat. I supported him the first time he ran. But since I actually live in the city, I can’t ignore his incompetence. His obsession with steering contracts and suspicious behavior with the garbage contract hints more than incompetence. That is, corruption. He will never win again. He won’t make the runoff in the next election. Wanting decent roads, reliable water and a staffed police department isn’t political or racial. Everyone wants it. And everyone knows the mayor can’t deliver it. His apologists are the stupidest looking people in the state.

Anonymous said...

You should see all the leghumpers for Brandon Presley on reddit's /r/mississippi/ every time Mississippi Today runs a misleading to outright false story on the TANF scandal. They actually think that Brandon is going to win the governor's election, lol.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi Today is a subsidiary of The View.

Anonymous said...

As I said before” I don’t give a shit who fixes the problems in Jackson Ms as long as we are seeing progress”. To the naysayers stop being led down the wrong path!

Judge Windgate knows what he is doing! Them other people only care about their feelings and who gets contracts! Are you getting a contract?

Be patient and watch out for each others safety! The judge got your back!!!

Anonymous said...

I thought Mississippi today was too busy fighting a lawsuit. No one reads this garbage they spew.

Anonymous said...

I miss print journalism. I now don't have anything to cut my watermelon on.

Anonymous said...

I can’t read anything from Mississippi Today. Way too far left. They are still rehashing the 1960’s.

Anonymous said...

Direct quote off of Mississippi Today’s website
“ Mississippi Today is now one of the largest newsrooms in Mississippi, proving that free, nonpartisan news is the antidote to apathy and an essential key to government accountability”

Nonpartisan my ass
I used to enjoy some of the guy with the crayons work before he went there but
now he doesn’t even try to hide it anymore.

Anonymous said...

Why does Ms Today even exist? Do they think the Clarion-Ledger is too conservative?

Anonymous said...

Excellent write-up, KingFish.

Anonymous said...

Didn't I read there were 7000 connections that have never received a bill? Maybe Lumumbubbles doesn't want to lose 7000 voters? Henefin is about to change that. Took long enough

shadyal said...

a free subscription to MT or CL is of no value...I don't want to waste my heartbeats on either...

Anonymous said...

I honestly had high hopes for MS Today being a good source of news, but I've been sadly disappointed. It's claim of being nonpartisan is nowhere near true, and in fact, is the exact opposite. Whether they acknowledge it or not, it is a blatantly obvious liberal, left-sided publication.

Take this issue of Judge Wingate's Order as an example. If the races were switched, Judge Wingate appointedd a black Interim Manager for the water system, and white Mayor argued that Jackson should not have a black manager but rather should have a white manger, make no mistake that MS Today would have written 10 articles about it and screamed racism as loud as possible. But here, Judge Wingate, a black man, calls out the black Mayor and his sister and her supporters for blatant racism towards Mr Henifin, and MS Today....crickets, not a word. Why not ? If we're going to make this a colorblind world with equality for all, then we must call out racism whether it be by a white person or a black person. To ignore the Mayor's obvious ad repeated racism towards/against whites is not fair and equal treatment, and it only gives racist white people to the ok to remain that way. If it's ok for black leaders to be racist, then it must be ok for white leaders to be racist too. You can't have it both ways. If you report about white racism and how it needs to stop, then you must report about black racism too and how it needs to stop. To do the exact opposite as MS Today does is pure hypocrisy.

Another example of MS Today not being nonpartisan....Last week it published another article going to extreme lengths to try to tie Governor Reeves via his brother to the TANF scandal and misuse of TANF funds, only in the very last sentence of the article to say that Governor Reeves was considering a bond, not TANF funds, to assist Southern Miss with its volleyball stadium. The issuance of bonds is legal, open to the public, and the proper way to fund building projects, not TANF funds. It appears the Governor was trying to do things the right way, not by illegally misusing TANF funds, but you wouldn't know that in reading the first 3 pages of the MS Today article. It was an obvious attempt to try to smear the Governor before the election, and that is not nonpartisan.

I realize MS Today was started under the belief and guise of being nonpartisan, but it has been anything but nonpartisan since. It's really been disappointing.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that has any value for MT are Marshall's cartoons.

Anonymous said...

I was going to answer your question about Mississippi Today.....then I saw you got it. "It is a shame to see such a publication following the vices of Dickie Scruggs".

That's the reason I don't read it, don't support it, and don't believe anything it puts out.

Anonymous said...

Ms Today is worse then MSNBC

Anonymous said...

From what I can tell, the staff at Mississippi Today is just the old Clarion-Liar crowd attempting to relive their glory days.

Anonymous said...

What's to expect? MT is a Democratic machine organization.

Anonymous said...

Geez!
Some of us take into consideration what is possible given the "is", the funds and authority to act.
I'm unimpressed by the ill-informed "blamers". And, especially by those who never ever truly contemplate how the hell we got here.
I support Heflin as he is making the best decisions he can given the fools he has to accommodate to take actions, but damn it, that our mayor and governor and city council and county officials are more interested in their political capital than working together to do the best thing, is totally BS. Wingate, doesn't appreciate the humanity. I know it's not his job to be a good babysitter, but damn if we don't need one!
Judges, including Wingate, can only rule on what the law is and what evidence is presented. But, bless him, he can't rule on what he doesn't know from his partially "ivory tower".
There are few heroes in this awful saga.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi Today is a partisan hack political blog unfortunately propped up by Hillary Clinton donors and taxpayer money. No journalism going on there.

Anonymous said...

Read the stories they publish, it is certainly a biased bit of fluff. Where is a Walter Cronkite? If the works ever needed him, it is now.
Did I read the editor of Miss. News is about to get her comeuppance in court with a Phil Bryant lawsuit?

Anonymous said...

Pravda would be proud of the Mississippi stuck in the past website. They certainly are not in the present. That publication does not represent today's Mississippi. Shame on them for trying to inflame their readers. Proverbs 6 has plenty to say about those that seek to cause discord among the people.

Anonymous said...

Walter Cronkite?? Walter Cronkite was a mouthpiece for the world elites.

Anonymous said...

Y’all sound scared of these guys.

Anonymous said...

For a toady editor at MS Toady to be truthful about Wingate & Henifin's saving valor vs Lumumba's damning degradation, baptize the MT editor in one of Lumumba's putrid, miasmic, shit filled Jackson creeks or sewer lagoons, dunking repeatedly, until the editor proclaims he's a saved believer.

Anonymous said...

" just the old Clarion-Liar crowd attempting to relive their glory days. "

Comedy gold, Jerry - pure comedy gold.

Anonymous said...

No doubt of the pejorative term most black folk use to describe Wingate.

Meanwhile, Mississippi Today, whose employees have multiple orgasms reading old Jerry Mitchell articles, is carrying on the legacy of Tisdale and Kirksey while pretending they're hunkered on a sidewalk at Kent State.

Anonymous said...

Judge Wingate's order is newsworthy for how biliously unprofessional it is.

Anonymous said...

September 7, 2023 at 6:50 PM
Scared? Is that how you cope with the criticism directed at incompetent democrats? Cope and seethe.

Anonymous said...

Was the "news article" accompanied by some shitty doodle by the Ramsey snowflake? To imagine, he actually criticized democrats like elected officials in Jackson when he was cutting his chops in the ninetees. Now, just insufferable stuff, rarely clever.

Anonymous said...

Wow!!!!! More excellent JJ reporting on Jackson’s water debacle and how much a man of integrity Judge Henry Wingate is! The Judge Wingate’s of America may be the only people that can save it.

The next to the last sentence in this report caused a search that found ( YOU CANOT MAKE THIS UP) Convicted Criminal White Collar Thug Richard F. “Dickie” Scruggs

has a 9/1/23 Twitter tweet stating (YOU SERIOUSLY CANNOT MAKE THIS UP), that the biggest MS politics story yet is…Gov. “Reeves been lying” and “Shad White’s pulling punches at Reeves’ request.” Dickie ends his tweet with “NE1 surprised?’

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No sir Mr. Richard F. “Thugie” Scruggs, by far the biggest MS politics story yet was

your attempt to bribe Mississippi Third Circuit Court Judge Henry L. Lackey with $40,000 in exchange for a favorable ruling in the fee dispute,

you being accused of attempting to improperly influence Mississippi judge Bobby DeLaughter,

allegations (WLBT, Feb. 21, 2008) that you tried to use (your brother-in-law and then U S Senator Trent) Lott to influence rulings made by Hinds County Circuit Judge Bobby DeLaughter,

the fact that your brother-in-law Trent Lott “unexpectedly announced his resignation from the Senate two days before (you) Mr. Scruggs were indicted,”

your conviction and imprisonment.

My, my, my goodness, Democrat hypocrisy has absolutely no boundaries at all. For the “Richard F. “Dickie” Scruggs” ill-informed, be very sure to read

“Kings of Tort” by Lange and Dawson and “The Fall of the House of Zeus” by Curtis Wilke.

You will literally not believe what you read and you will not be able to put either of these books down.

Anonymous said...



4:16 Marshall’s so called cartoon’s are in line with Mississippi Today’s political leaning. He never has a cartoon that goes against liberal thinking or an opportunity to undermine a Republican.

Anonymous said...

@9:18 PM
Lay off the 4chan, unless you are an edgy anime-watching teen. You sound ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Excellent, excellent editorial and reportage, KF, and highly commendable.

I cannot do anything but chuckle and sneer anymore when I hear or read the words “journalist” and “journalism.” Remember the JournoList AKA the J-List? 400 lefty scribblers working in concert to spin your perceptions to their favor under the fiction of reporting “just the facts.”

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! (Although it’s Wikipedia, so exercise caution.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JournoList

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about not voting for anyone for Governor, and then vote Republican for everything else.

After reading this, I may just vote for Tater Tot after all. Way to go Mississippi Today. Stay biased, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Journalism is " who,what,where and when". They quote those revelant to the stories.

Even the television cable "news" channels, separate opinion pieces from their NEWS cast.

Those of you who cannot tell by reading or listening which is which ARE THE PROBLEM! You cannot discern Hannity speculation about an event, things he makes up and calls a fact, from a news cast report based on known fact. When someone is "interviewed" you can't tell if it's an opinion or not. You won't weigh it with whether they have expertise or even if they are sane.

Wingate got no facts to support the claim in the lawsuit. The lawsuit was ill advised. He didn't condemn anything rather than the suit. We do not know how much influence the mayor has with his sister who seems to have her own ambitions. I cannot control my brother, nor can he control me or ever ask me to do anything I felt was uncomfortable or wrong.

That Rukia had a political motive is clear. That the mayor participated is not. If Wingate painted them both without evidence presentation that her brother, the mayor asked her to file the suit, would make this headline " not news" but speculation on the judge's motivations or personal animus towards the mayor.

I guess one has to learn these days what constitutes being accurate and unbiased. I learned the elements to ascertain what is logical and reliably accurate (true) and "educated opinion" back by confirmable facts as opposed to unsubstantiated opinion/feelings in the 7th grade. I'm sure the Sovereignty Commission et.al. have made sure that didn't happen here. It would be too threatening to their agendas. Selective education is propaganda. Lies of omission are lies thus information that omits relevant facts is propaganda as well.

Anonymous said...

September 8, 2023 at 10:12 AM, you claim to be bias free, there's no such thing by the way, yet you failed to mention one wrong on the liberal side of the spectrum. Thus, you have revealed your bias. Have a good day.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading this and agree with 99% of what you say. I think throwing in Dickie Scruggs’ name at the end was a “dog whistle” and unfounded. Sure, he’s made mistakes but he admitted it and did the time. He also started 2nd Chance which has made a huge difference in the lives of less fortunate fellow Mississippians. No doubt he’s a lib but undeserving of your insinuations.

Anonymous said...

10:58 AM, my God you cannot be serious. Dickie Scruggs served time in a country club and kept his 100’s of millions or billion(s) and he’s a hero for starting 2nd Chance? What did you expect from a rich convict that didn’t have his money seized like the common man likely would have.

After we he did, the fact that he, Dickie Scruggs’ is tweeting about someone else “lying,” proves his narcissism levels are off the charts and his hypocrisy has absolutely no boundaries at all. But hey, the rich man convict can buy his way back into high society, right?

I won’t go into detail since my last Dickie Scruggs post didn’t make it here but if you are serious, read Kings of Tort and The Fall of the House of Zeus.

Anonymous said...

9:45 pm. You’re damn right I’m serious. He had to pay the expenses of his and his co-defendants’ incarceration expenses, was not legally responsible for any asset seizure and he certainly did time in anything but “country club” prisons and became a better person for it. Yes I read “The Fall of the House of Zeus” in which he admitted saying “I’ll take care of it” we’re 5 words he shouldn’t have spoken.
Finally, you’re damn right he’s a hero for starting and financing 2nd Chance it’s been life changing for all involved. It’s an opportunity that never before existed.

Anonymous said...

5:46 PM, “5 words he (Scruggs) shouldn’t have spoken???” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wikipedia: (Richard F. “Dickie”) Scruggs pled guilty to conspiracy to bribe Circuit Judge Henry L. Lackey in 2008.

WLBT Feb 21, 2008: “The senior republican Senator (Richard F “Dickie” Scruggs brother-in-law Trent Lott) unexpectedly resigned his senate post just two days before Scruggs was indicted in November.

WLBT Feb. 21, 2008: “Indicted lawyer turned government witness, Timothy Balducci testified Wednesday that (Richard F. “Dickie”) Scruggs had tried to use (brother in law & US Senator Trent) Lott to influence rulings made by (Judge Bobby) DeLaughter.”

Wikipedia: On March 28, 2008, (Judge Bobby) DeLaughter was suspended from the bench indefinitely by the Mississippi Supreme Court due to allegations of bribery and judicial misconduct.

Jackson Free Press January 6, 2009: Convicted attorneys Joey Langston and Timothy Balducci recently testified that (Richard F. “Dickie”) Scruggs offered $50,000 in cash to (former DA Ed) Peters and the promise of a federal judicial appointment to (Judge Bobby) DeLaughter to entice the judge's favor in the case. Balducci even claimed he would share draft copies of potential decisions with the judge.

Wikipedia: On July 30, 2009, he (Judge Bobby DeLaughter) pleaded guilty to one obstruction of justice charge.

Jackson Free Press January 6, 2009: Former DA (Ed) Peters ‘Will Be Barred from Practicing Law.

Yea, 5:46 PM, it was just 5 words and they are all men of high moral character.

Who justify the wicked for a bribe,
And take away the rights of the ones who are in the right! Isaiah 5:23


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.