Thursday, July 30, 2020

Pistolwhipping Suspect Surrenders

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.



Posted by Kingfish at 4:00 PM

11 comments:

Grammar/Spelling Police said...

To whomever wrote this press release: Proof read your work!!! Alternatively, have someone else do it for you. Jeesh.

July 30, 2020 at 4:37 PM
Anonymous said...

Lol@4:37
In Niknar they pay deputies to confiscate property from interstate travelers. Not for their book lernin'

July 30, 2020 at 5:15 PM
Anonymous said...

Is this perchance on another branch of Constable Brown's esteemed family tree?

July 30, 2020 at 7:41 PM
Anonymous said...

I wish Sheriff Bryan Bailey would do something about our schools and neighborhoods in Rankin County being absolutely overrun with illegals. I know he needs help from the feds. Perhaps use some of the seized funds to make a task force. I think this should become an election issue.

July 31, 2020 at 6:09 AM
Anonymous said...

Brown used to be a sweet kid with a big heart. Not sure what happened but please don’t judge him for this alone. He is obviously mixed up with some bad apples that are dragging him down. Praying for you buddy

July 31, 2020 at 7:47 AM
Anonymous said...

@7:47
What happened is he transformed from parchman larvae to his full criminal form. It happens around 12-13 yrs

July 31, 2020 at 8:23 AM
Anonymous said...

What's this got to do with illegals? This is criminal behavior that is seen in all races and citizen status.

July 31, 2020 at 9:36 AM
Anonymous said...

.."Those damn ole bad apples!" Damn them all to hell!

July 31, 2020 at 12:48 PM
Anonymous said...

It's getting harder and harder to find "good apples" these days.

At least @7:47AM didn't pen "he didn't do nuffin." //roll eyes//

July 31, 2020 at 1:00 PM
Anonymous said...

I imagine a pistol whipping is a very hurtful thing. No joke. Takes a mean bastard to do that. Enough to make a man mad and mean in return.

August 1, 2020 at 4:23 PM
Anonymous said...

@ 4:37. I don't figure the sheriff looks at a resume and says "Oh look, an English major. Gotta hire that one."

August 2, 2020 at 5:06 AM

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.