Tuesday, December 31, 2019

DPS Commish Retiring

The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following statement.


Mississippi Department of Public Safety Commissioner Marshall Fisher announced today that he is retiring from state government effective January 31, 2020 to pursue other opportunities.

“I am deeply grateful to Gov. Phil Bryant for the support and confidence he displayed entrusting me to serve in various capacities of law enforcement and public safety for the state of Mississippi," Fisher said. "This state has been extremely fortunate to benefit from his foresight and integrity. God has truly blessed me to have been fortunate enough to serve both in the military and law enforcement for more than four decades. "

In 2015, Gov. Bryant appointed Fisher as Commissioner of the MDOC and subsequently as Commissioner of the Mississippi Department of Public Safety in 2017.

Previously, Fisher held several positions with the Drug Enforcement Administration, including Section Chief and Special Agent in Charge for Mississippi from 1983 to 2005. After leaving the DEA, he was appointed director of the MBN by then-Gov. Haley Barbour.

Kingfish note: Let the housecleaning at the Mississippi Department of Public Safety begin.  

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

We can only hope that those “opportunities” are not any any leadership position at any agency in Mississippi. Enjoy your retirements (both of them) Marshall, now maybe we can begin to clean up the messes you made at MDOC and DPS.

Anonymous said...

More like getting the boot.

Anonymous said...

We need a good administrator who has been a “working” cop at some point in their career. This also applies to the new MBN Director once Dowdy gets the boot. No more Feds!

Anonymous said...

Commissioner Fisher did an outstanding job for MDOC And DPS.
The only problem was that he didn’t allow the BS that had taken place
for years at both of these agencies to continue.

I guess it time for the BS and criminal shit to start again!

The FBI Better Keep A Close EYE on Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

Ole buddy from LA you are finally calling your dirty tricks off. Remember two years ago what you said in the historic town of Philadelphia, Ms while at a prosecutors conference?! Do you!? Please say you remember or maybe the attorneys that read this blog. You can’t answer because you weren’t there to filter what he said! Well some people never forget and I’m one of them. Think back my ole buddy and have your attorney to blog some sweet thing about you! I’ll remind everyone if you like!!!

Anonymous said...

2:49, DPS is a shit show and MDOC is a slow-moving train wreck hat began on Fisher's watch. Both are scandal-ridden examples of what is wrong with political appointments in Mississippi.

Governor Reeves should conduct a nationwide search for new Commissioners of Corrections and Public Safety and put the highway patrol back in its box.

Then he should do what so many other states have done - reorganize and consolidate redundant capabilities within the state and seek opportunities for efficiency through technology. Follow Texas' example of how citizens interact with state government, and Alabama's example of consolidation of redundant capability/capacity. Like him or not, Hosemann runs an efficient organization - now its time to apply that on an enterprise level.

Anonymous said...

3:16- what the hell are you talking about?

If you have to post in Cryptic form then don't post at all.

Anonymous said...

No loss, the guy was an inept administrator at best. Another one of these folks enjoying the charms of an “executive” position. Hell, I remember they made old Sid Berry the DPS.

Anonymous said...

2:49
Great job where?? Did you ask MDOC? They just had a murder. Due to below staffing I’m quiet sure! Who knows.

Anonymous said...

4:15
Who are you to talk big and bad. Fuzzy N?&TS!! Your anonymous too! Haha

Anonymous said...

MHP already hates Tate, so why not take this opportunity to make some adjustments? What's the worst that could happen...people quit?? Yes please!

And I agree with 3:33, reorganize state government. Spend a year looking at the legal authorities and responsibilities of each board and/or agency and consolidate where it makes sense, starting with school districts, then move on to the gaming commission (they need to go back under the department of revenue), and then tackle the morass at DPS - kick troopers out of administrative/leadership positions and put them back on the road, recruit real cops (not troopers) for MBI and MBN, and put those troopers back on the road, then put civilians in charge of everything that has nothing to do with working wrecks and writing tickets...trooper shortage SOLVED! Then figure out what to do with the LE folks at PSC and MDOT, and rebrand the State Auditor's Office and the enforcement folks at the AG's office as an Office of Inspector General. Reorganization takes time and money, but it will pay off.

Anonymous said...

Two more hit it and we will have a party! Red Leg bye bye Commish

Anonymous said...

WOOOO WEEEE...
DOC Commissioner Hall just hit the door!!

Anonymous said...

Chris when are you leaving. Please give us hope.

Anonymous said...

English please. I’m in a 4 day line for a driver’s license.

Anonymous said...

MDOC commissioner is leaving for "other opportunities." That's like saying "to spend more time with my family."

You read it here first.

Anonymous said...

2:49 No one is going to go along with you. Sometimes it's just better to be quiet.

Anonymous said...

Fisher screwed up MDOC with deputy commissioner choices. Let's hope the new governor gets some outside the agency. We don't need another woman who isn't law enforcement certified as commissioner or deputy com.

Anonymous said...

Wow..4:36 obviously has an insider view of the current problems. You will know the state is serious when you see someone from outside the state brought in to reorganize things...but...pffft...that will never happen here. Too many legislators need DD’s. Too many owe me’s out there.

Anonymous said...

If new governor appoints a deputy commissioner to commissioner at MDOC the place will finish going to hell!! So who is the next commissioner?

Anonymous said...

Pelicia Hall I’m sure got her call that Fisher was gone. He protection and guidance was gone. She knew to run also!! Two large jokes. Fisher you have to be one of the most incompetent man the state of MS has ever seen. You have to really work hard to destroy all you did while at DPS. You are a real man I tell ya! Happy New Year loser!

Anonymous said...

One good thing about Tate is his dislike for troopers... hopefully whoever is DPS commissioner cleans it up and makes some serious changes. I like the idea of returning the all to the road and letting real cops/investigators get selected to MBI

Unknown said...

He is a good and honest man.

Anonymous said...

436, that's a great plan. But you skipped a few little details like - constitution, and statutes, and legislature.

Many of those suggestions you think the bew Governor can and should do are not in his wheelhouse - the problems were created by a legislature in years past that requires the legislature to change the laws (and in at least one of your reorganization proposals) to change the constitution.

It's part of why our state suffers as much as we do - the Governor has little real control over the state, including many of the areas that fall under his administration.

Anonymous said...

3:33, you were doing a really good job with your observations - until you got to your last sentence.

To say Hose man ran a good shop and has any idea of efficiency tells me that you either have enjoyed your stay in the Ladner Building or have been totally hoodwinked by a silly ad campaign copied by a smart consultant. Obviously you have had zero contact, involvement or connection with the Secretary of State's office for quite some time. Or else you work there and get paid to blow smoke up the King's robes.

Anonymous said...

Enough about politics. They are politicians. The real question is from us on the road. Us Troopers. When is Chris and Randy leaving?? The Colonels. Please put that memo out that you cowards are gone. You both are two hated men.

Anonymous said...

12:28 - 3:33 here, I don't work in state government, I am a job creator in the private sector and I rely on the SOS for a lot of services with relation to my businesses. I have found that office to be responsive to my needs, efficient in the delivery of their services, and knowledgable as to the background of my filings. Some other regulatory bodies in the state don't even return phone calls or emails and this costs me money and delays me from putting people to work.

Anonymous said...

@1222 - laws can be changed and the state constitution can be amended, its our job as informed citizens and taxpayers to let the cowards under the dome know that status quo is not acceptable and is not fiscally sustainable. The time to make these changes is when the economy is strong and we can seize on the efficiencies in a meaningful way - structural changes made during periods of financial crisis are often not well reasoned and result in a worsening of the overall condition.

I'm in contact with my legislators on a regular basis, do you even know who yours are?

Anonymous said...

I say let troopers be troopers, and leave the rest to better qualified civilians. Be realistic with troopers about their career path, and don't create positions just to give someone a raise. Don't try to force a trooper to be an administrator, or to run a division they know nothing about ---- turn them loose in the highways! The highest position a trooper should ever be able to get (without resigning his trooper-ness) is director of the highway patrol, a position that should report to one of two deputy commissioners (one for LE, and the other for operations). Yes, let the troopers be troopers, but focus their activity on their stated purpose ---- highway safety. At last count troopers make up less than 20% of DPS, but make up more than 70% of leadership positions with DPS (even outside of MHP) - that needs to change. Lots of great civilians have left because they can't penetrate the red leg barrier and have sought better growth opportunities.

Kim Wade said...

There's something about this guy that never set well with my spirit man. It waslike he was either hiding something or up to something...

Anonymous said...

12:58 Thank you Ms. Kim. All Troopers agree with you. This man is evil and corrupt. He did not resign he was asked. It has already been a burden lifted off our shoulders. This man is evil. Ask many of my fellow Troopers. He despises us and set out to destroy the agency.

Anonymous said...

My friend. I’m here to tell you. My ole buddy hated MHP. He is a very jealous man especially of Troopers.

Anonymous said...

4:15
Please slap your jaws some more. Asking a blogger what the hell are you talking about. That blogger obviously knew something. Look at state news today. Slap some more hot shot. You must be one of the attorneys that follows that fool around or should I say used to!! Bye bye Fisher. Grab Chris and Randy when you go. All cowards need to GO!!!! Red Leg

Anonymous said...

@4:19, why would Fisher be jealous of a bunch of glorified traffic cops? While I don't care for him personally (he's not a very honest man) or for his leadership style (I personally think he's very insecure), but he's held some very enviable and influential positions within the federal government, and is seriously connected in DC and in the LE community; if he's jealous of troopers he's worse off mentally than I thought.

Anonymous said...

6:29
Seriously connected to DC. ABAHHAHAHAHABABSBDBDHDJ

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that Marsha is finally on the way out. He has created more chaos than any commissioner ever which is saying a lot. I can only pray that this governor has the guts to put someone as commissioner who has what it takes to make the hard changes and bring back the moral to MHP. There have been way too many good ole boy promotions to people who do not deserve to be there and could never make the grade. There are a few of the good guys left who want the Patrol to return to the glory days when they were respected by all. Congratulations Marsha! You are forever at the bottom of the barrel!

Anonymous said...

Criminal just like your boy Dowdy!!!

RLTW said...

I'm tired of holding my tongue on this.... The MHP is a joke among other state police agencies. And exactly what does "glory days" mean? Perhaps when troopers weren't getting cornholed at weigh stations, or sleeping with each others' wives, or sleeping with informants, or ??????

MHP has always oversold itself...the truth is they know too much about too many legislators and in turn they get nearly anything they want. They are a bunch of dim-witted fools claiming that because they have the hardest academy they can do anything they want.... what a joke. Try Ranger school bitches!

Anonymous said...

Have we called out any training. It’s Troopers. This was no discussion about the Army chill out guy. Patrol school is completely volunteered also. Isn’t that the first few words of OUR Creed. Some of us are Rangers too!

Anonymous said...

@8:55 I tried Ranger school....bitch and graduated.I tried patrol school....bitch and graduated. You obviously went to patrol school and didn’t make it, or you tried and didn’t get in. You have no clue about patrol school, because you obviously didn’t go. So let’s not talk about things we don’t understand. Come run The Rose Garden the way ran it. It compares to DQ. Go change your Uncle Marshall’s diaper. And I do agree with you about one thing, Rangers lead the way.

Anonymous said...

2055hrs. You obviously tried Patrol School and didn’t make it. Call Marshall you are exactly what he lives for. He too is a failure. Chris would love you. He too is a failure. Call Randy. He too is a coward!!

Anonymous said...

@11:26 Thank you for saying what is obvious & needed to be said. DPS may be run by MHP but the majority of it isn't made of MHP.

Anonymous said...

Lock Dowdy Fisher Hall up in the same cell! Damn crooks not tooo mention. COWARDS. RED LEG

Anonymous said...

Tate won’t do anything. He is surrounded by troopers who are his drivers and security. They know everything Tate does and will make it public if he bucks the system. DPS is a criminal organization that knows how to shut people up. Tate will hire who is favored by DPS or do as Phil did and appoint his driver to one of the top positions but if he really wants to get under their skin he would put a woman in charge. DPS is still mad a Mabus for doing that.

Anonymous said...

That is the most ridiculous statement I’ve ever heard regarding women in charge. I know two female troopers, one retired and the other a great person who would be a great leader. Neither the race nor gender matters about who runs DPS, but what does matter is that the troopers know they have the support of the fifth floor, which they did not have under Marshal or Chris. Politics has no place in running MHP but unfortunately that’s not the way it’s been the last few years. The commissioner needs to deal with the politicians and let the Colonel run MHP.

Anonymous said...

"...he's held some very enviable and influential positions within the federal government..."

Good, bad, or otherwise, he has not held any position really enviable or truly influential to anyone not totally uniformed and on the outside looking in from a very narrow perspective.

Anonymous said...

@0923, you're comparing the Darby Queen to the Rose Garden? Please don't embarrass the Regiment. Explain to me how the Army can train a Ranger in 8 weeks, and it takes 22 weeks to train some redneck how to run radar and fill out accident reports.

RLTW!

Anonymous said...

0708 refer to your post in 24 hr clock please sir/mam. That was in the pm Hour which should have read 2123hrs. Not 09. I’m neither but you have no attention to detail. But this red neck han can show you whatever it is your hunting.

Anonymous said...

"...22 weeks...rednecks...fill out accident reports."

Well, to be fair, things like the 4 week advanced tactical penmanship school can't be rushed. Well, so OK, such training CAN be rushed, but hiring a team of advanced-tactical-redneck-to-English translators would be expensive and require significant training so it's best to just train the trainees. Think of it like this: would you rather young'uns be trained to not to shit their britches or hire nannies to follow them around for the rest of their lives with fresh diapers, baby wipes and a can of air freshener?

Anonymous said...

This article is about Fisher leaving! Thank God! There is hope for MHP and the entire DPS umbrella! By Coward!! Liar! Cheat! Tyrant!

Anonymous said...

A few interesting points about Fisher/Dowdy/Hall:
1. While at MBN, MDOC and DPS, Fisher was very ineffective and accomplished very little except scheduling Pseudoephedrine.
2. While at MBN, Fisher would spout off how great it was to be "NARC" and praised agents for working for low wages all while trying to support a family. Not once did he even attempt to get a raise for the hard working MBN agents under his "leadership".
3. As soon as Fisher retired, Sam Owens got MBN agents a pay raise within one year. Something Fisher could not accomplish in his 8 years at MBN.
4. Sam Owen's pay back for all of his hard work was for Fisher to stab him in the back and convince the Governor to appoint Dowdy, Fisher's buddy, as Director of MBN.
5. Dowdy has ruined MBN all while Fisher has ruined MDOC, MBN and DPS along the way. Because of Dowdy, many agencies no longer want to work with MBN. Both Fisher and Dowdy have a history of ruining good people all while they line their pockets with taxpayer's money.
6. Dowdy has stolen $33,000+ from the citizens of Mississippi and must now pay that stolen money back. Dowdy also appointed a Deputy Director who had a long history of having inappropriate sexual relationships with multiple subordinates and was never held accountable for said behavior.
7. Dowdy has serious integrity issues....Gigilo issues and his OPR investigation by the Feds into his abuse of power while AUSA Attorney.
8. Chancery Court Judge Jennifer Schloegel (Harrison County) wrote a 70 page complaint on Dowdy's abuse of his federal subpoena powers to prevent the media from obtaining documents that would have shed some light on the DMR investigation into Bill Walker and his co-conspirators.
9. Dowdy resigned from the AUSA office and was magically appointed to MBN a very short time later, even though Fisher knew Dowdy was corrupt.
10. There is corruption within DPS.
11. Fisher, Pelicia Hall and Dowdy will not be retained nor missed.
12. It is time for Fisher to "go to the house" and I am not talking about the one in Rankin County.
13. If Fisher had integrity at any point, his wife must have taken that too from him in the divorce settlement when he could not keep little Fisher in his pants.
14. KARMA always reaches deserving people. It is Fisher, Hall and Dowdy's time to pay for what they have been doing while in public office. This will get more serious if they continue to look into these three individuals. Let's hope Reeves cleans house and restores the once impeccable reputation of MBN and the other state agencies.

Anonymous said...

3:23 - great rundown except for one point, locals didn't like working with MBN because they refuse to deconflict case information and share information relating to sources, etc., and because of their propensity to adopt cases and not share in seizures. It's not the Agents' fault, its the federal mindset that Fisher brought along with him. Hopefully the new leadership team at DPS will understand the value of collaboration and engage in a meaningful way with state, local, and federal partners alike.

Anonymous said...

@3:23... very well said

Anonymous said...

Well said at 3:23, maybe someone with some balls will finally do something to these criminals and charge them. The fact that Dowdy is still director of MBN is a joke. Governor Elect everyone is watching don’t make the same mistakes Phil did. Appoint someone with integrity.

Kingfish said...

Yup. The locals absolutely hate working with MBN or DPS.

Anonymous said...

923 and 951... You two are the type that don’t realize that it’s people like you that are the problem. The only retort you have is the tired and wholly false accusation that someone tried and failed trooper school. Argue the facts for once... oh that’s right, you’ll lose that argument.

Anonymous said...

KF - I can't recall whether the MBN Director is a gubernatorial appointment or that hire is made by the DPS Commissioner ---- seems like Dowdy would be the next to resign, that is after he tries to incinerate his documents and purge his emails...

Anonymous said...

7:54, yes, that! I have no desire to go through 22 weeks of brainwashing bullshit for a low paying job just so I can have a chip on my shoulder about it. I get it, it's not for everybody, but troopers seem to have forgotten that they are public servants first; and for such a bunch of badasses they sure thin skins and are crybabies about the smallest/dumbest things. Get over yourselves MHP ...... you're not as awesome as you think you are.

Anonymous said...

Thank you @10:46 from a BLEOST certified LEO

Anonymous said...

I came to LE later in life, following a career in the military. I went to plenty of great schools, deployed in two wars, and consider myself a pretty well educated and weIl-qualified soldier.

I went through MLEOTA alongside the final months of a trooper school and was shocked at how unprofessionally the cadre runs the program, how they drill into each cadets' head how much better they are than "regular" law enforcement and civilians alike, and how they seem to encourage hostility toward basic class recruits and those they deem "lesser" then troopers. Unfortunately this attitude makes it on to the street, both towards the public and their brothers and sisters in law enforcement. Since graduation I've had plenty of interaction with troopers and I wish I could say it was positive. If troopers would lose the attitude and admit they don't know everything about everything once in a while that would go a long way with most real cops, and the public too.

It's a shame, because in 22 weeks you can do a lot to transform a person, either for the good or for the bad. You can instill pride and professionalism, or you can stoke negativity - its pretty obvious what MHP does. No doubt, troopers need to be able to fight, shoot, drive and handle incredibly stressful situations - but if they don't check their attitude, even fewer agencies are going to want to work with them. They need to approach their profession with humility and understand first and foremost that they are there to serve the public, not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

Fisher you have mocked Troopers since you made it to MS. You have called them names that would shame a sailor. You know you have and people are talking. The one thing everyone has missed and don’t know. Marshal Fisher hated Troopers.

Anonymous said...

Why do troopers think they are any better than any other LEO. I am a retired trooper and can't get a trooper to return a phone call or even speak in public. My bosses would have kicked my butt if I treated a retired trooper the way these kids do today. Put seasoned troopers with twenty years of experience at the Academy teaching these cadets how to be troopers and not just about how many they can run off from school.

Anonymous said...

@7:43... I taught at the MHP academy many years and one of the many things I tried to teach those cadets was they weren’t any better than their county or city brothers. I taught them to always respect them because that more than likely would be their lifeline. I know every academy has its ups and downs but one thing I’ve seen in past couple years is that some of the new troopers think that badge Makes them God. Yea I admit to being cocky when I earned that badge but was humbled in many ways, especially when my life was saved many times due to my county and city friends. I’ve never thought I was any better than any other officer and always opened up to learning from them. I think the reason these new troopers act the way they do is because of this horrific Administration. Chris Gillard ruined his name due to this commissioner and he will have to live with that. I’ve told the new troopers the past couple years that if you think things are great then just wait till you experience an Administration who really cares and supports you, then you will really enjoy this career. I apologize to my local county and city officers if a trooper has that attitude because it’s not his fault, it’s this administrations fault. Just help them to be a better officer and to fight the fight we all face.

Anonymous said...

11:35, thanks for your apology, but don't blame how troopers act on this administration. Troopers have had attitude problems for as I can remember. When I moved to Biloxi in 1990, folks on the base said Mississippi troopers were notorious (that's all that was said). As a young OSI Agent, I just wrote it off until I had to deal with a trooper on a professional matter. I asked a trooper (a lieutenant or captain if I remember correctly) if he might be able to help me with some information on a guy were looking for. I was polite and professional, and told him I was new to the area and the base and hoped that we could work together in the future; he basically told me that he didn't need any feds coming in telling him how to do his job and that I should mind my own business. I walked out of his office wondering what I'd done wrong, and after speaking a fellow Agent, he simply said "welcome to Mississippi."

Each individual chooses how they interact with and treat others, and to blame and project their behavior on others is a sign of weak character.

Anonymous said...

Fisher your good bye farewell has never sounded more sweeter. I’ve heard you mock and say things about MHP that one would not call a dog. Your time at the Bureau you did all you could when you could to run down a Trooper. No one never knew why! But only a few. It was a design to leave places the way you did! You sought out to do it. It was your goal. Jealousy is eating at your soul. I hope you can find peace with it during your retirement.

Anonymous said...

Where is Fisher!!!

Anonymous said...

If the Sheriff department and Police Dept would quit working there wrecks and answering there calls they may learn how to treat people. The state could save a ton of money if they would get deputy’s and policemen with a good background and put them in about a 6 week school that would fix the problem at Mhp. Nobody cares how many miles they can run and how many pushups they can do. We need people on the road now.

Anonymous said...

Fisher put some more feeling cute Troopers in the road. I love following her Social Media accounts making a huge joke of not only herself but your agency. Feeling cute please post Fishers last day. Tittle guess where I am. At the back of a Uhaul Truck. Please feeling cute. Just for us. That see you humorous.

Anonymous said...

11:35, so you're saying that troopers -- who I assume are somewhat mature if not mentally, then perhaps by virtue of age -- are so weak-minded that they blame "the administration" on how poorly and unprofessionally they handle individual interactions with colleagues and the public? That's the weakest argument for bad behavior I've heard since my 4-year old lit the carpet on fire.

If this is true, we may need to re-assess whether or not they are stable enough to carry firearms.

Anonymous said...

I heard feeling cute and 1 other didn’t even pass they pt entrance test. Gillard has to change the requirements so they could get in to troopers school

Anonymous said...

I operate a small business in MS and have for many years. I met Chris Gillard when I first opened. Seemed to be a nice gentleman. Over time I saw right through him. He appears to be something he isn’t. Far from who he believes he is. Not a good person. Wants everything on the shelf and wants it for free. That’s the Chris I know and soooo much more!



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.