Sunday, November 3, 2019

Idiots of the Day

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement and mug shots.


On Saturday November 2, 2019, the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department received several complaints of two suspects passing what were believed to be counterfeit bills at local garage sales. A citizen was able to get a picture of the vehicle being driven by the suspects along with their tag. The information was sent to local law enforcement agencies to be on the lookout for the suspects’ vehicle.

Vigilant officers with the Pelahatchie Police Department conducted a traffic stop on the suspect vehicle and identified the occupants as Mary Glassmire SESSUMS and Purvis Dustin WARD.

Deputies and investigators with the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department responded to the scene and were able to locate more than $1,000 in counterfeit money along with ink and equipment used to produce the counterfeit money.

A search warrant for both suspects’ residences was requested and obtained. A search of the residences produced additional evidence of counterfeiting. The U.S. Secret Service was contacted and has joined the investigation.

This investigation continues.

District Attorney John “Bubba” Bramlett will bring both suspects before Rankin County Court Judge Kent McDaniel for an initial appearance. No bond has been set at this time.

Swift action in this matter was made possible with the help of watchful Rankin County citizens and cooperation among local law enforcement agencies.

Purvis Ward

Mary Sessums





15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Genuine idiots! She is looking at a $250,000 fina and possibly 20 years in the federal prison and she is grinning like a possum while getting her picture made in a striped jump suit. Proof that you can’t fix stupid. Good Job Rankin LEOs.

Anonymous said...

Typical Rankin county trash. Thank God I live in Madison.

Anonymous said...

They should've just bought some North Korean made bills from wish.com those are so realistic that nearly every retailer checks bills for authenticity somehow these days. Super K's are best used for garage sales and drug deals.

Anonymous said...

Add 10 years for the stupid smirks in the booking photos. Stupidity is supposed to be painful.

Anonymous said...

They allegedly hit at least one yard sale in Madison two months ago.

Anonymous said...

9:38 PM Us Rankin trash are glad you live in Madison too....

Anonymous said...

Would you just look at the squalor these two lived in. The housekeeping skills of your average millenial landwhale.

Anonymous said...

5:45 AM In her mugshot photo She looks totally happy she was caught.
Now, they won't live in squalor anymore. They will have a nice clean jail cell, with exercise equipment in the jail yard. They will get 3 square meals a day with thanksgiving,Christmas turkey, DVD movies to watch in general assembly, medical & dental free. College courses to improve their computer skills (printing skill) all on your tax dollar while we live on ramen noodles for those on fixed incomes at the end of the month. It ain't right.

Louis LeFleur said...

That doesn't even look like a two-sided printer. How on earth did they.... no, never mind, I don't even want to know!

The "I'd hit that" guy said...

I would NOT hit that, and that smart ass smirk makes me wanna punch her boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to bet money that this counterfeiting caper was the most complex and sophisticated operation these two have ever pulled of.

Their collective IQ would still be in the double digits. Don't mistake their expressions for arrogance. I see two people too dumb to comprehend the gravity of the situation they find themselves in

Freddie Money said...

9:35 hit the nail on the head. These two might have actually figured out, by experience, that it's a lot easier to upgrade your lifestyle making counterfeit bills with a printer than it is to make bitcoin with your teeth. Only fitting that the cops got their "proof" and their criminal careers ended by "striking" a pose.

Freddie Money forgot to have said...

Those two actually printed their own "Two tickets to pair a dice".

Anonymous said...

rankin county is overrun with these meth head, herion addict junkies. they are right up their with nutria ,fire ants and invasive water weeds.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile (and maybe the Niknar Sheriff will see this), yesterday, November 4, approximately 10:15 a.m., this: A Rankin County, white, SUV, Unmarked except for really light Rankin S.O. on the rocker panel passed me (in Madison) as I was at a stop sign. He then proceeded to roll through TWO stop signs with me behind him. As I followed him, his speed ranged from 45 to 50 in a 35. I was behind him for four miles while he exceeded the speed limit (I did too but only to track his speed). When he stopped at a red light, I pulled up beside him and motioned for him to roll down his black window. He did.

White guy with a beard and a ball-cap on backwards. I said, "You were driving between 45 and 50 in a 35 and rolled through TWO stop signs. This is Madison County!" His reply was, "Oh, sorry bout that" and rolled his black window back up.



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.