Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty-Toddy

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.

And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good, and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:

"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHREN"

And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.

But Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."

And the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay, even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once and for all
1 Samuel 4:3


Yeah, I know. LSU has no losses and Ole Miss sucks this year. This IS LSU-Ole Miss. The series is also a tough one from the LSU side. Don't believe me?

2001: Ole Miss win.
2002: LSU by 1.
2003: LSU by 3
2004: LSU by 3 despite a record-setting rushing performance by Broussard.
2005: LSU blowout because Ole Miss quits on Orgeron.
2006: LSU in OT
2007: LSU comes back in fourth quarter
2008: Ole Miss ass-kicking
2009: Les Miles can't tell time.
2010: LSU wins at the end of the game.

Therefor, I expect a very close game Saturday.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh no excuses Mississippi Bears, this is your RIVALRY game, remember! You always play up for a heated game against your biggest rivalry. What a crock of crap!

By the way that story was not only hilarious but dead on the psyche of said Bear fan.

Get over yourselves.

Hope you schedule Hinds CC or Jones CC for homecoming next year.

Anonymous said...

I don't think they could beat Madison Central IMHO.

Bill Dees said...

@8:48 - The A&M college schedules Valley State, Jackson State and Alcorn State. Rebs couldn't get Hinds or Jones because they're booked through 2025 for A&M's homecoming.

Shadowfax said...

Ah the signs and symptoms of a program in the ditch:

1) Bring up historical records.
2) Chant 'wait till next year'.
3) Sling barbs at rivals.
4) Polish penny loafers.
5) Crack open imported beer.
6) Watch porn and laugh loud.
7) Call pals - Order new tent.

Anonymous said...

"I expect a close game." How very charitable.

Heard LSU's coach on TV this morn trying to sound charitable. He managed (while stifling laughter) to say 'This is a team that always prepares for a game'.

Woot!

Anonymous said...

I am never amazed by the level of infatuation that the fans of each of Mississippi's "mid-level major" athletic phase with each other. Frankly, no one outside these state lines really even knows the difference between the sad little schools.

Anonymous said...

You expect a close game? Did I read that right? Surely not! LSU 65 OM 0

Seriously what good coach in their right mind would want to come to a school and have to build a football program from literally the DIRT up sandwiched between schools with plenty money, huge fanbases, state of the art facilities, and powerhouse football programs (LSU, Alabama, and Arkansas) in the hardest division in college football? Add in, too, an administration who doesn't really care about athletics. I say only a very desperate coach who hasn't had or won't have an opportunity anywhere else.

However, whoever comes if you listen to their arrogant fans they will be bound for Atlanta and the SECC and then the BCSNC within months. Win two or three games, and they will be talking major bowls or even Super Bowl and making hotel reservations across the country.

Sit back and relax. It's going to be a riot to watch them do the same thing the fourth time around, and no, most definitely I am not a MSU or USM or JSU fan. I'm just someone who has observed college football in MS more decades than probably ninety percent of the readers of this blog.

Anonymous said...

What would Col. Rebel do?

Anonymous said...

Brown bears are a deluded lot. They think they are every team's most hated rival. As an LSU alum, believe me, it's a sad joke from our view. They still talk about Cannon's run, and it was a half century ago. nutts was a perfect fit.Too many sleeze bag lawyers and illiterate,thug players. Little, insignificant school. Tiger Bait.

Jax said...

Yea the Rebs will get their arse handed to them Saturday as they should, but I find it funny the lsu alum brings up Cannon's run. We could care less about the Counterfeiting Thug's run. Don't talk too loud about illiterate, thug players as lsu has their own problems year in & year out.If it wasn't for King Saban lsu would still be stuck in the dismal 90's. Have to give you credit with your last two coaching hires as they turned your program around. How they attracted players to that dump of a campus tells wonders about their recruiting ability. Oh well Go To Hell lsux!

Anonymous said...

Jax, poor you. You are just so jealous and GREEN with envy wishing your school had half the football program of LSU (and BAMA and Ark, too.) If your administration had taken their share of the SEC TV revenue money and put into athletics like the other SEC schools instead of into campus beautification and a law school, your whole athletic program might not be in the sports dumpster. As far as players/students not behaving and making bad decisions, no school is exempt from this including yours. It happens at every school.

OM is a public supported school in a poor state and rated as a Tier III public university. Your school's acedemics are average at very best and your athletic teams in the three major sports have not won a championship in decades. You have nothing to brag about and certainly nothing to look down your nose at any other school in the SEC. ZIP. NOTHING so curb that Ole Miss arrogance. LSU is going to beat the living crap out of your little pitaful school just like BAMA did a few weeks ago. It's going to be fun to watch, too.

Shadowfax said...

11:07; what a total dick you are. While the rest of us (I think) are bouncing good humored rivalry jabs and mellow insults at each other, you bust up in here with some nasty-assed insult to the state as a whole. We are what we are and our schools field what they field. You obviously prefer athletic events beyond our borders. Good luck with that and kiss my ass as you pass the state line.

Anonymous said...

I finally ENJOY A POST BY SHADOWFART.

Anonymous said...

I have been an ole miss fan all of my life. The only thing that I'm ashamed of is how fans hate each other. If there is anything else to be disturbed about it would be the fact of what almost every program in the country has turned into. This whole thing is out of control. I won't watch NFL or NBA because I can't relate to the players anymore. As an old athlete it disturbs me. I have better things to do on Sunday. Looks like I need to find more to do on Saturday as well. I'm not talking about demographics, just the scope of the whole thing. It's been ruined. Used to be good honest fun to take a jab at another fan. Not anymore. We should be ashamed if we turn this into more than student athletics. I realize that I'm an outdated dinosaur Very sad though. Btw. I know Dr. Cannon. Look and see what he's been doing since he paid his debt to society. Don't put guys like that in the class with some of the thugs of today. It takes tough guys to play that game. A lot of the fans don't have any idea.

Anonymous said...

Southern Miss is the best team in Mississippi. Ole Misery is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Jax has resorted to touting the imagined beauty of the bear campus. I don't have a dog in the in state rivalry contest, but to me, the State campus is more impressive. The square, or whatever, is a joke. So if that's your best shot, just shut up and sit down. If the game is close, it's only because LSU looks past the bears toward Ark.

Anonymous said...

As an alumnus of UM, I can say that " The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty-Totty" is one of the funniest thing's I've seen.

I laugh every year when this circulates as an email.

It's so true. That accurately describes many of us. Kudos to the LSU fan that penned this saga, Faulkner would be impressed .

However, the current Chancellor appears to be the one that will "destroy Ole Miss once and for all " .

Anonymous said...

if this was reddit, i'd correct your pitaful spelling. but this prob won't make it past a mod.

Anonymous said...

7:22 Funny you should say that about the MSU campus. I've heard several people say the same thing. Of course MSU is just a much larger campus than OM and certainly has had more room to grow and expand while Ole Miss is pretty landlocked with next to no parking for their own much less visitors.

It's that Ole Miss arrogance that has spoiled the school for many others. Can you blame many athletes from not wanting to go there and try to blend in? They can't, and they know it.

Guess the Bears with their fourth new coach will be headed FINALLY to their FIRST SECC game next year in Atlanta. Wonder if they are making their hotel reservation yet for their first trip? It's going to be so much fun to watch this once again. I can't wait.

Anonymous said...

MSU = Aggies no better than Texas A&M hoping for greatness.

Always wondered how the cow folks would emerge in civilized society.

Anonymous said...

Not sure, but 7:22 and 7:50 are either
the same person , or the twin brothers Bubba and Billy-Ray .

I think they are still bitter because they were rejected by every Ole Miss girl that they tried to "hit on"
during their only visit to Oxford back in the 80's.

Ringing a cow bell out of the "shotgun" side of the pick-up ,while the driver screams " Maroon- White !!
Go State ! , Bully licks his ball's because he can ! ".

This is really not the best way to impress Ole Miss girls, ... back then or now.

Anonymous said...

@7:43 pitaful spelling, eh? Try again.

Anonymous said...

Don't know about Bubba and Billy-Ray but when you get out of your Bear imagination world you will know there are plenty fine looking young ladies who go to other schools in MS besides Ole Miss. In fact the last three girls selected Miss Mississippi were MSU students. Kids from every school in every city go to both MSU, OM, and USM. The students are the same everywhere. So again as another poster has already pointed out leave your Ole Miss arrogance at the door. You are not better, smarter, cooler, or prettier than anyone else. You just think you are.

Anonymous said...

Students are not the same everywhere, biatch. Overweight, mediocre rednecks are the majority of MSU fans. True

Anonymous said...

We agree 9:44, or ( Bubba ) .

Mississippi has some of the most beautiful girls
in the world: Ole Miss, State, JSU, Delta State,
USM, Alcorn, Hinds Community , ect.

... Hell, even the girls of the North Rankin Branch
of the Pelahatchie Adult GED Attendance Center
can hold their own in a Miss America pageant.

Just don't drive around the beautiful Oxford Square
acting like idiot rednecks.

BTW, did you and your twin make it up to your Uncle McCoy's "1989 Goat Roping Extravaganza in Rienzi"?

Or did ya'll get arrested by the Holly Springs PD
for violating their White Trash Laws ?

Anonymous said...

You Ole Miss haters are just insanely jealous of the fact that you aren't a part of the club that owns and runs this state. Mississippi State people are especially upset about being second in line to the Ole Miss people, they clearly spend all of their free time trying to justify and crusade any insignificant victory over Ole Miss. They even hired a guy to run the football program who would spend all of his time trying to brand a rivalry that, unlucky for him, the Ole Miss people barely consider a rivalry. Keep dreaming, and maybe one day you or a family member will be able to attend grad school at Ole Miss, or maybe even get invited to the Grove. And if that happens, please, remember to dress nice. After the age of five, we quit wearing football jerseys to the games. Don't forget your collared shirt.

Anonymous said...

"Pitaful Spelling"? Now that right there is funny.

Anonymous said...

12:02 Ole Miss arrogance at it's finest.

Anonymous said...

I love 12:02. Exactly why the whole conference is laughing its ass off at these goofy dreamers. Grove rocks, I will agree, but at the expense of anything close to a big time SEC atmosphere in VHS.

And 12:02. Cap and T shirt crowds = fun fans. You have never been a part of that, so you will never understand.

Anonymous said...

Sure is a lot of hatred toward the Univ. of Mississippi.

No need to be jealous b/c you feel inferior. Class vs. agriculture. Get over it.

Anonymous said...

To use history as a predictor, then use the blowout "because Ole Miss quit on Orgeron." This team has certainly quit; evidenced by all of the missed practices and missed meetings... not to mention the win-loss record.

I expect an LSU blowout.

Anonymous said...

12:02 - My 9th-grader took the ACT for practice and got an overall 32 with a 35 in science (maximum possible: 36, but she hadn't taken chemistry yet).

Ole Miss admission ACT average range: 18 - 26 per their web site.

She's not even looking in this state.

You can shut up with your arrogance any time now.

Anonymous said...

Arrogance or not, 12:02 and 11:07 are right. Sorry if you feel that Ole Miss is arrogant, but their feelings are the truth. While you are "grindin" or plowing, or milking an udder or whatever it is you do over there, we are busy figuring out who will be the next business or political mogul that comes from our group. We enjoy things differently, yes, but only the people steeped in jealousy will argue that our general quality isn't the best our state has to offer.

Anonymous said...

Hey 1:12 not sure what your ninth grader has to do with ole miss, but I bet she could get a job now TEACHING chemistry at Mississippi State! I don't think she will even need a GED for that job.

Anonymous said...

This is becoming as bad as the Clarion Ledger sports blogs.

Anonymous said...

OKAY EVERYBODY!

All together.

State to UM....you are cocky for no reason, and your arrogance sucks.

UM to State....you are a bunch of rednecks w/o class.

Now can we move on?

Anonymous said...

Bears constantly repeat self serving dribble to each other when nobody else says it about them or cares. Amazing. And to the goofus who tried to put down TX A&M, you obviously have never seen the campus or know about the school. Comparing them, on any level, academically, athletically, wealth or influence, is like comparing Stanford to, well, umiss.

Anonymous said...

1:12; who gives a rats ass what your daughter scored on her 'practice test'? With a cocky assed parent like you, she's automatically got a hill to climb no matter where she goes to school.

Anonymous said...

did you smell that? wind just kicked up out of the east!

Anonymous said...

12:02- Being an Ole Miss graduate is like going on a trip to the Alamo Bowl with Jerry Sandusky. You think your own a nice trip, and that your somebody...but you keep droping the soap in the shower.

Anonymous said...

And soooooo... once again, 8:59 reiterates that as long as you know how to "just spell it like it sounds baby", then you should be quite the success in Stark-save-us :-| the only thing you really need to know how to spell there is Dawgs, pickups & cameltoes.....the MSU fan's top 3 things in life. Quite sad.

Anonymous said...

3:13 the term is camel toe, not "cameltoe". Jumping 8:59 about spelling is not your forte. Your lack of experience with camel toes is apparent. But then again I understand that for many of your ilk, female anatomy is not an interest. You must be quite the guy(?) in Oxfart.

Anonymous said...

8:33 I have had a lot fun with pooU fans over the years...but that was just weak....try again and act like a man.

Anonymous said...

"Class vs Agriculture"? That's part of what's wrong.

Class is driving your grandaddy's new Chevy pickup over the turnrows of your daddy's cotton field while on the cell phone arranging to meet your buds for lunch paid for with your momma's credit card.

Agriculture is a degree earned in seven years while working every other semester sweating your balls off learning the land and its crops. And it's busting your ass on a combine seven hours a day in October and rowing up two thousand acres in March wondering who is going to bring you a sammich somewhere around twelve-noon under a pecan tree that don't exist, then going home to split firewood.

MORE COWBELL~

Anonymous said...

What is 52 - 3 and a knee on the 1 with 6 minutes left. Class or agriculture?

Anonymous said...

4:28pm: Best comment of the whole conversation. Enough said.

Anonymous said...

In the third generation from the time of the great sin and curse upon the genteel Hotty Toddys, a cry came up from the masses and sought forgiveness from the Lord. They cried,” we have built statues to remind us of our sin against the house of Meredith, we exalt their wisdom and their warrior skills. We have suffered in your judgment and received the punishment on the battlefield. Our generals and our soldiers lie in waste. Only in our enemy’s mercy do we still share in the crumbs from their table. Then the Lord sayest to me “ You will return to the land of the HottyToddys where you are still revered and you shall find a leader for the HottyToddys. I will give you wisdom and courage to complete this task. You shall search all through the land for worthy men. They may be masters or servants live near or in foreign lands.


You will search for two leaders, one to lead the armies into battle and one to lead the people of the HottyToddys. They will have the courage of a lion, the wisdom of an owl, and the shrewdness of a snake. They will have proven their worthiness in small matters and I will give them power over many. The leader for the army will find strong young men fast as wild ponies and stronger than a team of oxen. The leader of the people shall encourage them to make sacrifices of gold and built magnificent temples to the armies of the HottyToddys. They shall be like my servant Michael from the land of Eden who with only nine men can conquer powerful foes.
Then the HottyToddys will rejoice in their grove of trees with strong drink and beautiful handmaidens and continue to revere your name.

Revelation according to Elisha

from the winedoc version



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