I can hardly believe Jackson Free Press reporter Adam Lynch wrote this paragraph:
"Corps officials assured members of the Levee Board that such an event would be rare. Heavy rain, they said, rarely accompanies rising spring floodwater from upriver. Even the massive flood of 1979 arrived on a sunny day, leaving residents stunned that floodwater was overtaking the levees."
I can't figure out who is more stupid: the reporter who wasn't even here but yet wrote that last sentence as fact or the editor who actually approved its publication. I guess the 19 inches of rain that fell in the upper basin had nothing to do with the Pearl River's rise. It must have escaped Mr. Lynch that rivers usually flood several days after it rains in many cases. Its pretty sad what one will write in order to torpedo the Two Lakes project.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Unbelievable
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
33 comments:
Levees will never be built. The tax increases to pay for them will never be approved by voters.
GET OVER YOURSELF .. you write some pretty stupid stuff too.
/\/\ Comment above by LOSER /\/\
there are also scientific studies showing that gravity is invisible, which would explain why objects mysteriously fall for no apparent reason when thrown off a roof. mystery solved
You can always spot a JFP cultist liker 4:49 though they never stop to ask why Kingfish gives them more freedom to post than the bitch they lick.
HA! That was pretty funny.
I have to say, Jackson is unwilling to advance its development. I remember Atlanta 20 years ago and I find it pretty sad that Jackson is the same (with the exception of the development of Madison). Rankin continues to build at a sound pace with the growth of population and wealth. Madison is a growth monster. Jackson would benefit greatly from a large development such as this and would spur a lot of businesses BACK to Jackson. The tax base would be substantially increased and maybe even revive those areas that are quickly dying. My point of bringing up Atlanta is the reinvestment into Downtown following the Olympics. While Jackson certainly would be unwilling and unable (infrastructure) to host such an event, the politics of dozing a large swath of downtown for the future of the city was certainly unappealing to those in the suburbs b/c of drop in real estate value. City centers create the demand and people respond. Look at King Edward. I hope for this proposal to find life. It would be a great step forward for a severely depressed city.
"Severely depressed city" says it all. Jackson has become the Detroit and Gary of the south.
Ladd just posted this:
BTW, someone wrote and asked if we knew if the Corps' assertion above about the sunny day is correct. The short answer is no: that was breaking news that they said to Adam yesterday. This is what I was able to find from a quick search, which is a pretty interesting chronology. Not sure what it proves about Town Creek, but everything we can get out there for discussion is vital at this point. At least we're going to be forced to have a long-overdue community discussion about flood control now. When will this community learn that one man cannot save us!?!
APRIL PEARL RIVER FLOOD OF 1979
posted by ladd on 12/16/09 at 06:12 PM
No one ever disupted it was sunny that day. It was the fact that no one there could figure out that gee, rains do cause floods and take several days to develop. the sunshine that day had absolutely nothing to do with anything.
You are absolutely right KF. The good weather meant nothing. Ladd wasn't here. She don't know squat.
I'm sure Ladd, Lynch and the rest of the communists believe the floods occurred due to melting glaciers in North America during the late 70s brought about by man-made global warming.
Kudos to Ladd and crew with rewriting history since neither of the two so called journalists ever lived here when this took place.
All right, I zapped that one because of one little word and I'm sure you can figure out which one it was.
Hey Cochese... AKA KFish.. You got it all figured out there don't ya? 12:46am kinda tells it all........
/\/\ Comment above by LOSER /\/\
It boggles the mind to think that supposedly intelligent, educated people can't apply even common sense to a situation like flooding, and conclude that a sunny day in your immediate area means you'll be safe from flooding that day and the day after, etc. Even though a monsoon of biblical proportions has emptied itself into the river and its tributaries upstream, a sunny day on your end saves the day.
That just has to be a misprint. No one can be that oblivious to how things work.
While I'm at it and OT, but I just have to say that the post that Ladd made last evening at 6:12 p.m. about this contains some of the most awkwardly structured sentences I've seen lately. Especially from someone who teaches writing? It's not my intention to nitpick, but it just jumps out at me.
...some of the most awkwardly structured sentences I've seen lately. Especially from someone who teaches writing?
Maybe she was putting on her lipstick while typing....
No one has still answered the question about the pumps and paying for them.
You won't get any answers on that from the JFP KF as they need to avoid that topic since it undermines their argument that Two Lakes is far more expensive. You also won't find any discussion over there as to how they plan to pay for this $300+ million levee plan.
Well, at least JFP has concluded "that one man cannot save us!?" Who is she talking about though? Jesus or Johnson?
Or talk about the levees that will be 9 feet HIGHER than Lakeland Drive. [Think GATES when it floods across Lakeland I 55]. Also 100 yards of "scorched earth" each side of them FOREVER.
Why do people continue to push the Two Lake plan when it is proven that it puts more water on those down stream?
I'm no engineer, or anything but it would appear that increasing the height of the levee system is only going to cause more severe flooding downstream especially compared to the lake program.
A lake program would work just like the resevoir in that it allows the excess water to be "held" while it's volume is spread over a larger surface area which decreases it's vertical component. In turn that would allow for water to be released downstream at a more consistant rate.
Levees simply cause the water to have a vertical component that would make it flow faster through the levee area and be at a higher level to build up downstream causing worse flooding.
JFP shows no ability to use logic in their opinion on this. "Rising spring floodwater" in Mississippi is ONLY and DIRECTLY the result of heavy rain. The water can come from no where else.
Those that stood in the way of the 2 lakes program and lied about it's effects simply do not care about the Jackson Metro area, regardless of what they say. They are more worried that someone might make a dollar on a development instead of allowing the project's impact to stand on it's own.
This "attitude" about Jackson Metro is what continues to hold it back. Worried that one person, group or area will have some sort of success at something creates more naysayers in this area than cheerleaders.
Sad.
JFP seems to think levees will provide lovely "green" space along them for bike trails, etc. My question: WHO is going to pay for a well-manicured bike trial or wilderness? City of Jackson cannot even provide the most basic maintenance on the creek that runs near my house, and I really don't see Pearl, Flowood etc. ponying up the funds for it. In all likelihood, the levees will be permanently fenced and gated.
QB the JFP doesn't want you to know the true costs of levees because it undermines their vendetta against Mr. McGowan and the straw argument they're pumping how Two Lakes is so much more expensive than levees. Not once have they mentioned that the Corps requires a robust burrowing animal control program that eliminates all active burrowing discovered in a short period of time. Someone has to pay for that because you can't count on swiss cheese levees to stop flooding. Furthermore, trapped burrowing animals are usually euthanized as the costs to relocate far outstrip the costs to eliminate. How is that for progressive?
Trapped burrowing animals are good deep-fat fried!
Sounds like a great idea for a new 'Best of Jackson' category. Best Fried Varmit!
trapped burrowing animals will also land you in the emergency room
I agree 100% with JD Berry. There are many in this town that are jealous, vindictive, and self-serving. They don't want anything for the people that live east of I-55. They are DEFINITELY afraid that someone WILL make a dollar and they won't get to take credit for it.
Jackson Jambalaya got my vote for favorite website.
dhnichols said...
Why do people continue to push the Two Lake plan when it is proven that it puts more water on those down stream?
December 18, 2009 11:57 AM
Because it works, it doesn't push more water downtstream, you are a hick mayor of a hick town and you have a big mouth. YOU yourself are interested in a lake project for that armpit of a town you "govern".
Trashing and personal attacking. Way to go!
What kills me is the JFP will blast a plan that a great deal of benefit for Jackson and its citizens but look the other way when Jackson tries to get some interest rate swaps for its bonds so it can pay off a bunch of well connected lawyers and bond guys.
It is relevant that it was a sunny day during the flood, because Speed claimed that downtown Jackson flooding was from local creeks, not the Pearl. Hence levees without pumps would not have protected Jackson, he claimed.
http://www.mvk.usace.army.mil/offices/pp/PRWS/media/docs/PearlRiverStudy_PumpNeeds.pdf
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