Jackson Jambalaya

American voters face a choice of two opposites come election day. McCain: the grizzled warhorse; honorable, knowledgeable, and reliable. A known quantity even if a bit dull. Obama: the boy wonder; fresh, vibrant, charming, and intelligent. A Reaganesque vitality yet hiding numerous radical ideas and associations. Americans face a financial crisis, hearing the word "depression" bandied about more and more by the money honeys on cable tv while they grow weary of fighting in two countries. The Republicans are the modern day Louis XVIII's even after the 2006 rout: they have learned nothing and forgotten everything while young Cassius Clay floats and stings. As Republicans are pummeled in the mainstream media, reviled by left-wing websites, and kicked around by a large segment of the so-called intellectual class, they grow frustrated, yielding to the temptation to fight back with flame-throwers, forgetting how easily they can burn themselves with such tactics.

The Hannities think it should be easy to beat Obama. Americans only need to hear THE TRUTH about Cassius. He has radical friends such as Ayers, a real bomb-throwing terrorist. All the Republicans have to do is pull a Bill Clinton, link Ayers to Obama as Clinton successfully tied McVeigh to Conservatives and Americans will see him in a different light. Once they finish pointing out the Ayers Connection, then bring up Reverend Wright, the black David Duke. Throw in some news about voting fraud and leftist community organizers and there is no way that Americans will vote for such a candidate or so goes the thinking.

Unfortunately, Republicans have been here before with similar results. Once there was a war hero who was President yet considered to be out of touch, old, and yes, boring. Another Cassius Clay faced him in the ring, filled with brilliance, plans, facts and figures on every possible subject, and a willingness to mix it up with his opponent. The earlier Cassius was pretty and yes, he was a baaaad man. He ran rings around Mr. Bush as he made the older fighter look clueless and slow. He wore the same mantle of change, waving it as a red cape in front of the voters. Bush sounded like McCain in the debates, making weak arguments, feebly accusing Clinton of wanting to raise their taxes while the scoundrel charmed the viewers with his plans to help them while Bush promised more of the same. Change was in the air as he hypnotized voters with the common sense words "Its the Economy, Stupid". The Republicans, in power, fossilized and feeble as they are now, thought it would be very easy to tar and feather him as an anti-American radical. He dodged the draft. Smoked weed. Had numerous affairs. His wife and friends were considered to be left-wing radicals who sought to destroy traditional America. The Republicans simply refused to believe the American people would be fooled by such a smooth-talking salesman, ignoring how many times such has occurred in democracies throughout history. They just needed to tell Americans THE TRUTH and all would be right in the voting booth.

The Republicans went down in defeat so badly, they nearly lost the power to filibuster in the Senate. Clinton drove them crazy for the next eight years as they could never figure out a way to tag the ivory Cassius Clay who hit like Foreman but bobbed and weaved like Frazier. The similarities between the 2008 and 1992 campaigns are striking. Even more striking is the Republicans are using the same losing playbook from 1992, having learned nothing.

While praising Reagan, Republicans forgot one of his basic lessons: people like to vote for a candidate instead of voting against someone. Carter pulled the hate card too, saying Reagan was lying and that he would have Americans hating each other. Reagan laughed at him, sending him on his way while Carter still has not figured out how he lost. Obama is a likable person. People are not going to believe he is a radical regardless of what some ad says about his friends and supposed connections to them. If Republicans want to run strong attack ads against Obama, they need smart bombs, not flame-throwers. They should run ads reminding Americans of the following items:
1. He told the Iraqi government to double-cross Bush on American troop withdrawals. Americans expect honesty and fair play from their leaders when it comes to their children fighting on the battlefield. Obama seeking to deny some troops a return home so he can get political points is something that should be publicized.
2. He said our soldiers were bombing civilians in Afghanistan. Republicans could have much fun with this one. Attack him for impugning their character. Remind the public how the anti-war hippies called the American troops baby-killers in the 60's. Run tapes of Murtha slandering our soldiers then show their vindication, proving Mr. Murtha to be a liar. There are several ways to play this one, all using the words of Obama and the Democrats. Better yet, play two clips: one of Obama saying how much he supports the troops, the other of his offensive comments. Let Obama speak for himself here, no spin is necessary.
3. When the Senate voted on a resolution condemning the Moveon.org ad against General Petreaus, Obama didn't participate. Hit him on it. Its a legitimate target. Ask how he can be Commander-in-chief when he won't even support the troops and their leaders on a simple vote such as this one. It occurred in his official capacity as a Senator so its definitely fair game.
4. Bring up his votes in the Illinois Senate against homeowners having the right to defend themselves with firearms. The average person will relate to this one and will not want an activist judge taking this right away from him.

Notice something? No personal attacks were made on Obama nor his family or friends. His votes and comments are questioned. Such criticisms are more relevant as they relate to his record as a politician as well as his professional judgement. Voters will pay more attention to these type of ads than personal mud-slinging.

Another issue that could be a silver bullet for the Republicans is the prospect of Democrats grabbing Americans' 401k accounts. The Democrats are already discussing in Congressional hearings taking away the tax exemptions for 401k plans (ignoring the fact they are taxed upon withdrawal or closure) and moving 401k funds into GOVERNMENT accounts. Considering how worried Americans are about their 401k plans, McCain should ask them if they trust the Democrats to seizing their money, putting it into a government account, and giving them an i.o.u. in return. I can think of few issues that would honestly scare Americans such as this one. This is one issue they get, trust me.

A final suggestion for attacking Obama is to broadcast clips of Clinton making the same promises about giving the middle class a tax cut and then showing the video of his telling Americans that he would not be able to give them one. Point out they didn't get a tax cut until the Republicans took over Congress (wouldn't' hurt to mention the economy took off as well). Reminding the voters they have seen this same promise by a similar candidate before will be a powerful reminder if these two clips are used.

However, such tactics do not hide the fact that people want to vote for a candidate. McCain needs to get his head out of his ass and figure that one out before its too late. The major issue is the economy. Neither campaign planned on it becoming the issue it is, proving the maxim a good battle plan lasts until the first shell falls. So far Cassius Clay has adapted to this crisis more nimbly than McCain has. What McCain can use in this crisis to his advantage is the fact Americans are mad as hell as they feel betrayed by their leaders in Washington and Wall Street. They remember Enron and Worldcom, wondering "Did we learn ANYTHING?" They turn to the money honeys on CNBC for answers and find they are just as clueless. One candidate presents the 2008 edition of "I feel your pain" while the other candidate makes it clear economics is an afterthought to him.

McCain is behind on points but doesn't need a fifteenth round knockout to win. He needs to start fighting Obama but pick his spots, not simply try to land haymakers. Reagan was sharp in his criticisms of Democrats but it was SMART criticism. He gave people reasons to vote for him and stated exactly what he was going to do in detail, similar in fashion to Obama and Clinton.

McCain should emulate Willie Stark in All the Kings Men and give a speech saying "I know you are angry. I know you are scared. I have a bunch of studies and proposals that will fix these problems. They are backed up by a bunch of fancy charts and statistics but that is not what you need to hear from me right now. What you need is to know I'm just as mad as you are. We have been betrayed by people on Wall Street who saw us as suckers, who didn't give a thought about anything but getting rich off of everyone else, regardless of the consequences. You need someone who is going to say hell no to those asking us for help from the comfort of a spa. We need to bring these people to justice. While Americans are working hard and trying to do right by their families, they wonder why grow angrier at those who said "trust us" while they fleeced them.

If elected President, I'm going to fight for you regardless of whether that means I'm fighting Democrats, Republicans, or even old friends. I'm not flashy and truth be told, I'm not so good with fancy words. I don't know how to give ten different presentations for the same problem. I just know how to talk straight to you and tell you what the problem is and what I think we need to do.

Part of this disaster was government's fault and the areas that the government screwed up, we are going to fix. While we are fixing it, we are going to bring justice to the American people, whose hard work has been betrayed by those who should have known you don't give something for nothing and expect to escape to a spa when the going gets tough. I'm going to appoint Rudi Guiliani to Attorney General. Rudi took on Wall Street back in the 80's, throwing in jail the junk bond shysters and inside traders who betrayed our trust. No one in this country doubts he is scared of taking on pinstriped hucksters. He will work in conjunction with the man I'm going to appoint to be Secretary of Treasury, Mitt Romney or Steve Forbes, a respected leader and businessman, to clean up Wall Street and fix our markets while bringing justice and faith in our leaders back to the American people. I'm announcing these two members of my team now because this crisis requires fast action and decision.

The American people need answers RIGHT NOW from my team, not 4 months from now in hearings covered only by CSPAN at two in the morning on Saturday night. These potential nominees will be out there among you, taking your questions, listening to you, and giving you the answers you need as best they can. My team will be straight with you. What we have to say will not always be pretty, but it will be the truth, something you have not been getting from your leaders for quite some time. I'm going to go after any politicians who got sweetheart deals from lenders, regardless of party. Any friend of Angelo will NOT be a friend of John McCain. I'm going to create an exchange for these credit default swaps that nearly bankrupted our system and require the firms using them to fully report the terms of said swaps. The days of hiding such swaps from balance sheets and regulators while leveraging them 200:1 so they can claim their 8 figure salaries are over if I'm elected. If elected, I'm going to restore sanity to the markets. I'll prosecute those who need it while bashing those who make this country work, unlike my opponent, who sees success as a bullseye.

Americans are a strong people and will get through this crisis. We will rise up and beat this problem as we always have in the past through straight talk, thoughtful discussions, listening to you, my fellow Americans, and making tough decisions. When America sets its mind to solving a problem, there is nothing that can stand in our way"

You get the idea. The truth is Mr. McCain, you are an SOB, a funny and honorable SOB but still an SOB (As a former Airborne troop, I have no problem making that statement ;-) ). The trick is to tap into the anger and make them realize you will be their SOB, something Bush the Elder did NOT do. If Republicans don't wake up and learn a few lessons from 1992, history will repeat itself in November. You are not a great public speaker and Obama is killing you in talking about the economy. You've made good government (which includes wasteful government spending and earmarks) and foreign policy your main interests for years in Congress. There is nothing wrong with such a focus, its just that right now, we face an economic crisis and unfortunately, its clear that you've not spend much time over the years thinking about it. People are going to scream "Reagan would do this or that". Blah blah blah. Reagan had a DEGREE in Economics. So did Dick Armey, Phil Gramm, and other Republican politicans who successfully promoted Republican economic policy. You don't have such a background and it shows.

Announcing Guiliani and Romney/Forbes as two nominees for their respective positions sends to the American people a message you take this subject so seriously, that you are willing to do something no candidate has done before as you think they deserve such answers right now. You are weak on this subject so send them out on the stump and to the media. They are all leaders and have been through primaries before so they are familiar with presidential politics. You need a game-changer right now that is smart, thought-out, and not reckless.

Take these steps and people will take a second look at Obama while seeing you in a new light. This race can still be won and doesn't need gimmicks or cheap shots. Some candor, expertise, and backbone are what is needed right now and the candidate that provides all three of those things to the American people before election day will win.