Favorite beers. Vote early and often. Could've gone crazy with listing so I included just brands. I'm sure some drink Michelob or bud with lime but I lumped them into other beers by AB or Miller-Coors. Same with Abita.
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
33 comments:
tried to vote, KF, but there were nine different ones that I would have had to check. Wouldn't let me do it!!
Technically, Bud light, Bud, Bud w/Lime all fall under Budweiser. For a revealing look at the what beer brands are owned by which companies, see this infographic:
http://beerwhiskeyandbrotherhood.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/beerownership.png
You included an option for those of us who don't drink! Thanks!
HEY 3:36 YOU COULDNT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. HAVE A BUD HEAVY AND COMPARE... "THE KING OF BEERS" FOR REASON.
cardinal sin KF you left out ABITA
Abita is there. I put Abita Springs.
Heathens ALL! Purge the notion of the nasty evil spirits from your soul and mind! REPENTETH! A more honorable contest would be 'What Color and Style Panties Do You Favor For Your Fantasy Lady?!
Abita amber is offered in almost bar and restaurant in New Orleans, that says something.
Meople,
Bud Is not the same since the Brazilans bought the Busch family out.
No matter what, The King of Beers is still the King.
The king of beers is a rice based brew and gets a majority of its rice from China. Last I checked, China is doing everything it can to distribute it's waste to the US. Go ahead and drink the king, then go visit with the Arkansas rice growers and ask them how loyal they are now.
10:52 It's hard to believe that it is more profitable to ship either rice or brewed beer across the ocean from China that to buy rice or brew it here. How big is the price differential to make it worthwhile to use Chinese rice?
10:52 It's hard to believe that it is more profitable to ship either rice or brewed beer across the ocean from China that to buy rice or brew it here. How big is the price differential to make it worthwhile to use Chinese rice?
I brew my own. Best beer in Jackson!
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friend.
Maybe there should be an option for gluten free beer. The only one available in Mississippi is Reb Bridge, made by Anhouser-Busch. Would love to see more options like pther stated have!
I wish I could say that I respect a person's right to drink light beer, but I don't.
All right Kangaroo, knock it off.
C'MON MAN!
Most of these "beers" are just cans of water with a little beer mixed in for flavor.
Let's try:
SHINER BOCK
FAT TIRE
SIERAA NEVADA
and if you must buy your beer at the Florence, Miss. Walmart--AMBER BOCK or PABST BLUE RIBBON.
Yes I said it...if you gonna drink a watered down American brew better stick with an 1893 classic like PBR.
Dude, it is not me. I only posted one comment about the rice. On another note, I believe that we should hold a vote for the "Most Interesting Commenter on Jackson Jambalaya". I'm not holding my breath, I think Shadowfax would take it in a landslide.
10:52 it is profitable enough to switch their purchase oversees.
I meant the sudden surge for miller lite.
Sorry, comment meant for 11:58.
I don't understand why there's a category "Craft" beer yet individually listed are Sam Adams, Lazy Magnolia and Abita Springs all of which are craft beers.
I could understand if it said "other craft beer".
Even more interesting is you list Spaten Optimator, which isn't even sold in MS. As someone who bootlegs home lots of illegal beers in to MS, it still is funny that an illegal beer is listed.
And if you're going to name Abita and Lazy Magnolia, you sure need to have listed Yazoo.
I know it's just a fun poll, but gosh I take craft and home brewed beer to heart. Dang it! Now I want one and I just got to work.
Anything "light" is just a waste of a good horse! Merry Christmas and Shalom, y'all!
Dale's Pale Ale and Yella Pils are the best beers Mississippians won't ever get to taste, at least when you're at home.
Andrew M. Newcomb
No Milwaukee's Best, Old Milwaukee or Meister Breau??
Spaten Optimator is on there for one reason and one reason only. I'm sure you can figure it out.
I knew I would miss some and I could've made that poll 30-50 choices easy. Well, I had to cut off somewhere but I included some catch all choices.
Lake Placid Ubu Ale. Damn good.
Never understood people who drink designer beer or beer-de-jour. Beer drinkers, regardless of their preference, develop a taste and prefer to stick with it, not try to outdo each other at the Buffalo Wild Wings pull-handle wall. The only thing more curious to me than a designer beer drinker is someone who drinks scotch which is basically horse piss with a pine-bite.
Shadowfax talking about horse piss....ha.ha.
To Gandalf: Come kick this nag's butt, please.
Shadowfax, that's like saying you'd rather have a steak at Golden Corral than a place like Shapley's.
To Shadowfax, I only drink beer that is impossible to find in Mississippi (Leffe) and a wine that is similarly impossible (Cakebread merlot). And I'm curious as to why you find scotch whisky drinkers curiosity-inducing? There is far more variety in scotch whiskies than in your crown-jack-beam-etc. bourbons. I might recommend the Balvenie or a nice, aged Lagavulin.
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