Sunday, June 24, 2007

If Stella Can Get Her Groove Back, So Can I…..Or, How Fishing in Murky Waters Sometimes Makes It Seem So Much Clearer

After a two and a half year stint of celibacy, I recently decided enough is enough. I looked around and told myself I’m not getting older, I’m getting better. At least, that sounds good, doesn’t it?

I have always been fortunate to look younger than my age, so I decided to use it to my advantage. There’s a really well-built 25 year old I see often with dark hair and skin, who had been flirting with me from time to time, or at least I thought it was flirting. I’m so out of practice it’s hard to tell! I decided to take the bait and go fishing.

At first I told myself I’m an idiot. What 25 year old wants a 40-something year old woman? Women in Mississippi just don’t do that, or if they do, it’s a scandal on the gossip grapevine, at church, at the gym, at Char – well, you get my drift.

One day he surprises me and asks if I can get free one night on the weekend. I hesitate momentarily, but then tell him I am free on Saturday. I give him directions to my house and we make plans to text, etc., when it’s close to the pre-arranged time.

On the night of the date I am a nervous wreck. What the heck do I do with a 25 year old? I can’t decide if I should wear something sexy, something comfortable, or what! I end up wearing a black tank top and black shorts – something in between.

He arrives at the door and I can barely make it there to answer. I am shaking inside like I’m in high school. I open the door and he is standing there all cute and young and I’m really surprised he actually showed up. We sit on the couch and make small talk, while I’m sipping my second glass of wine to calm my nerves.

I’m sitting there trying to decide what to do next when I feel his lips on mine. My hands touch his hair, his back, his muscular arms and I feel flush all over. He touches me gently on my face, my neck, and feelings long forgotten, surface. Things quickly become more intense and we find ourselves drawn together, grabbing each other’s clothes, and I feel light headed. He talks in his sexy, very deep voice and tells me how long he’s wanted me, how much he wants me, and I tell him I want him too. I close my eyes and begin to enjoy the journey, not sure of the final destination, but let me tell you, the final destination was somewhere I’ve not been in a VERY long time.

Before he left, he stood in my kitchen eating chocolate chip cookies, with his tussled black hair and a remaining glint of moisture on his body. I stand there looking at him, still not quite believing just moments before we were exchanging bedroom dirty talk and enjoying the raw physical pleasures so rarely enjoyed so fully.

Everything about my time with him is like a dream, or of swimming in murky waters, but after it was all over, I have to say, DAMN, I caught a big one………………..

And yes, he’s been over again. Maybe it’s time to switch bait and see what else I can catch. Stay tuned for updates.

So ladies, stay open to experiences out of your comfort zone. You just might find yourself smiling again, even when there’s no one around………………


Anonymous said...

WOW. Competition in Jacktown for edgy.

Kingfish said...

so what are ya sayin'?

It IS kinda edgy....

for Jackson I guess. ;-)

Kingfish said...

and a good jambalaya is SUPPOSED to be spicy....dash of cayenne, dash of tobasco....tony chachere's creole seasoning to taste......

Anonymous said...

I like it. We need something like this around Jackson! Post some more.

Kingfish said...

Divorced White Female will be writing more stuff, don't worry. She has plenty to write about. ;-)

Glad you enjoyed it.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS