Saturday, September 2, 2023

Mississippi Today: Gov's Brother Tried to Use State Auditor to Clean up Favre Mess

 This article first appeared Thursday in Mississippi Today and is published under a Creative Commons license.   Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Anna Wolfe authored this story. 

Gov. Tate Reeves’ brother coordinated with state Auditor Shad White on damage control for former NFL star Brett Favre after an audit first revealed in 2020 that the athlete had received more than $1 million in welfare funds, according to text messages the governor’s political campaign released Thursday.

Todd Reeves, Favre’s friend, had also arranged conversations in early 2020 with Gov. Reeves so that Favre could ask for the governor’s help in funding the University of Southern Mississippi volleyball stadium, one of the centerpieces of the ongoing welfare scandal.

The texts released Thursday show how, on Favre’s behalf, Todd Reeves facilitated the athlete’s repayment of some of the funds and asked for White to make a public statement that “the investigation (shows to this point) Brett has done nothing wrong.” 

Meanwhile, attorneys for the state auditor’s office and the attorney general’s office have fought for eight months to withhold these texts from Mississippi Today, who originally requested them. The state argued as recently as Wednesday the texts are part of their investigative file in the welfare case, and publicly releasing them could harm the ongoing welfare scandal investigation.

But on Thursday, as Mississippi Today prepared its story about the withheld records, the Reeves campaign released what they say are the text messages in question. 

After Mississippi Today reached out to Todd Reeves and Gov. Reeves’ campaign for comment about the texts and the state’s argument that they are evidence in an ongoing investigation, the Reeves campaign did not respond to the inquiry but instead sent out a media release chastising the news organization for covering the story. Todd Reeves also gave his own quote for the campaign’s release.

"I've been friendly with Brett for years, and always heard great things about Shad,” Todd Reeves said in a press release Thursday, distributed by his brother’s gubernatorial campaign. “I didn't learn anything about this TANF mess or Brett's dealings with the state until it was front page news. When Brett was considering repaying the funds, he asked me if I could help him get in touch with the auditor to coordinate that--so that's what I did. I helped money get back in the right hands, not the wrong hands, and I think that's what most people would have done. Brett believed he had done nothing wrong, and I helped convince him to return the money anyway. Those are the texts in question. I know Mississippi Today is willing to lie about us, so I just wanted to get the truth out."

Mississippi Today cannot verify if the Reeves campaign released all of the texts sought by the litigation because the news outlet has not been allowed to view the requested records. The Reeves campaign did not respond to follow-up questions about the completeness of the records they released on Thursday, and the attorney general’s office declined to comment.

The news organization first filed a public records request for texts between White and Todd Reeves in December 2022. Additionally, the request also included any of White’s messages or emails that made reference to Todd Reeves. Mississippi Today was denied the records and filed suit against the auditor’s office in January 2023.

Hinds County Chancery Court Judge Crystal Wise Martin reviewed the texts in private, on Mississippi Today’s request, to determine if the documents were, in fact, exempt from public release. 

“They obviously relate to the DHS investigation,” Judge Martin said during a hearing Wednesday, after she had seen the records. “There’s no question about that.”

Special Assistant Attorney General Rex Shannon, representing the auditor’s office for the state, argued against releasing the texts on Wednesday, saying:

  • “Their disclosure may harm that investigation by chilling similar communications in the future.”
  • “The records in question reveal and confirm the identity of a potential witness.”
  • “The records in question would potentially disclose investigatory techniques and or the results of those techniques.”
  • “The records in question, if publicly produced, would potentially impede or jeopardize any prosecution of certain individuals that may result from the DHS investigation.”

White has said several times previously that he has turned over all welfare investigation-related material in his possession to the FBI. While the Mississippi Department of Human Services has sued Favre in its ongoing civil case, overseen by Gov. Reeves, Favre has not faced any criminal charges.

READ MORE: What exactly is Gov. Tate Reeves’ involvement in the welfare scandal?

In the early days of Gov. Reeves’ current term, Favre used Todd Reeves as a way to communicate with the governor. Favre, who endorsed Gov. Reeves in his election months earlier, was hoping the governor would help him find public funding to pay for the completed construction of a volleyball stadium at University of Southern Mississippi. Favre had made a guarantee to the university. If he didn’t find the funding somewhere, Favre would have to pay out of his own pocket. According to texts previously released, Todd Reeves would facilitate lines of communication for the athlete.

“Brett, you aren’t bothering me at all and please always feel free to reach out to me anytime,” Todd Reeves texted Favre, according to a previously released text Favre forwarded to Gov. Phil Bryant on Jan. 26, 2020. “I will help any way I can. I will be glad to set something up with Tate. Tell me kind of what the plan in place for funding is/was. Did Gov Bryant mention maybe trying to get it as part of a bond bill for the University?”

At this time, the USM project had already received at least $5 million in funding from the federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program, which is supposed to provide monthly cash assistance to very poor families, through a nonprofit run by Nancy New.

Within days and weeks of Favre’s communication with the Reeves brothers in early 2020, the auditor would arrest the two top welfare officials who had been working with Favre and the volleyball project would be outed as part of a sprawling scheme to misuse tens of millions of welfare funds. 

White had taken a strong stance against the widespread corruption at MDHS leading up to the May 2020 release of his annual audit, which questioned almost $100 million worth of spending. 

But in a press conference describing some of the more egregious findings, White did not draw attention to Favre, whose welfare payment, listed under Favre Enterprises, was tucked in a bullet list on page 18 of the 104-page report. Still, the revelation made national news.

Two days later, Favre repaid $500,000 of the $1.1 million and promised the auditor he would return the additional $600,000 in installments in the coming months. First, the texts show, White sent Todd Reeves the address of where to send the money, then they arranged for an agent to pick up a check at the office of Favre's agent.

“If possible, Brett would like you to say something along the lines of “the investigation (shows to this point) Brett has done nothing wrong and the monies he is paying back for commercials and Psa’s is from his own good will,” Todd Reeves texted White on May 6, 2020.

White praised Favre in the statement he released the same day: “I want to applaud Mr. Favre for his good faith effort to make this right and make the taxpayers and TANF families whole. To date, we have seen no records indicating Mr. Favre knew that TANF was the program that served as the source of the money he was paid.”

A few weeks later, Todd Reeves texted White, “Just wanted to tell you I appreciate you talking and helping the last couple of weeks.”

The last text Todd Reeves produced Thursday was a message he sent the auditor in September of 2020.

“I think Brett is working to get some more money sent in,” Todd Reeves said. “He’s had some reporters start hounding them again. I’m sure they have contacted your office. He’s just asking not to be thrown under the bus as he is working within the timeline.”

But Favre did not return the remainder of the funds until White issued him an official demand more than a year later in October 2021. By that time, the auditor said Favre also owed $228,000 in interest. 

Mississippi Today’s December 2022 records request to the auditor’s office asked for text messages and emails to examine how Todd Reeves, potentially on Favre’s behalf, may have communicated with White during this time period.

“We're here arguing about the records that belong to the people of the state of Mississippi,” Henry Laird, Mississippi Today’s attorney, told the judge on Wednesday. “These are not the auditor's records. These are Mississippi's records. And unless there is an exemption that allows the auditor to say they shouldn't be produced, they should be produced.”

Judge Martin did not rule whether to release the texts Wednesday. On Thursday, as she continued to decide how to rule and before Mississippi Today published its story about the hearing, the Reeves campaign chose to publicly release texts between Todd Reeves and White.

"While Mr. Reeves has the right to release his text messages, the State Auditor's Office has not and will not release information regarding a potential or ongoing investigation to protect the integrity of an investigation,” Fletcher Freeman, a spokesperson for the auditor’s office, said in a statement Thursday. “The men and women of the State Auditor's Office have worked tirelessly to hold those who steal taxpayer's dollars accountable, and we will continue to work with prosecutors and our federal partners to do so."

Acknowledging that the texts might not, on their face, appear to be part of an investigative file, Shannon, the state attorney, provided the judge in Wednesday’s hearing with auditor’s office press releases that relate to the content in the texts. Those included a release in May of 2020 about Favre repaying some of the $1.1 million in TANF funds he received; a release in October of 2021 about the auditor demanding the repayment of TANF funds from several people, including Favre for the remaining funds White said he owed; and a release about several guilty pleas in the case.

Mississippi Today’s records request asked for messages sent between Feb. 1, 2020, and June 1, 2020. In this timeframe, White made initial arrests in the welfare fraud case (Feb. 5), Mississippi Today published a story first uncovering that welfare funds had been used to build the volleyball stadium (Feb. 27), and White released his annual audit (May 4), which first revealed the direct welfare payment to Favre. The records request also asked for messages sent between Sept. 1, 2021 and Dec. 31, 2021. In this timeframe, the welfare agency released its commissioned forensic audit, which provided more details about the misspending and prompted White to issue the official demand for repayment from Favre.

In response to a separate request to Gov. Reeves for his texts with Favre prior to becoming governor in 2020, the governor’s office said it was not “in possession or control of any public records responsive to your request.” Before 2020, Reeves served as lieutenant governor in the Mississippi Senate. Generally speaking, lawmakers have used the legislative exemption in the Public Records Act to withhold records from reporters.

Asked about the volleyball stadium at Neshoba County Fair in the summer of 2022, Reeves suggested he didn’t support the idea of using any taxpayer funds to build sports facilities.

“Look I don’t know all the details as to how that came about,” he said. “What I do know is that it doesn’t seem like an expense that I would personally support for TANF dollars. I don’t even like the state building stadiums with general tax dollars.”

However, Favre and Bryant seemed confident Tate Reeves would help.

On election day in November 2019, Favre texted then-Gov. Bryant, “I know it’s Election Day and you are probably busy but while we know who our Governor is presently not to mention arguably the most popular and influential I want to stay on your radar. If our guy wins I’ll feel better about things but if the other guy wins I feel like Nancy and I can forget our vision for Southern Miss.”

“That’s one reason I have been pushing Tate so hard,” Bryant responded. “He has to win. Then we set up a meeting on Wellness Center at USM.”

Gov. Reeves did win, and in late January of 2020, Todd Reeves set up a phone call for Favre and the governor to discuss funding. About a week later, as White was preparing to make arrests, Favre expressed his desire to take Gov. Reeves to see the volleyball stadium, texting, “and it would only be us. I want you to see what your (sic) trying to help me for.”

It’s unclear if Gov. Reeves actually pushed to include funding for the facility in a legislative or other kind of appropriation, but his brother certainly gave Favre the impression that he would.

“I think the angle Tate is looking at is a bond bill according to Todd his brother,” Favre texted Bryant on Feb. 7, 2020, as the fallout from the arrests was still materializing.

This article first appeared on Mississippi Today and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

Kingfish note: The Tate Reeves for Governor campaign issued a press release Thursday that challenged this article.  


36 comments:

Anonymous said...

This may be the skeleton in the Guv's closet that decides the election.

Anonymous said...

@ 4:00 PM

He can't have a "skeleton" big enough to offset his opponent having a D behind his name.

Bogeyman said...

Props to KF for posting this article, particularly after the pre-emptive Reeves Campaign posting from earlier this week (which permitted no reader comments)

Anonymous said...

So, let me get this straight, you take the Reeve’s money to get ahead of the MS Today story, then you take theMS Today money to support Presley’s uncorroborated claims. Can you be anymore of a whore? I guess you think this is freaking great, it all it does is let all that read your lame scribblings know that you are a cheap whore. Good job!

Anonymous said...

I'm not an attorney and don't play one on TV. Where's the illegality in this saga?

Anonymous said...

@4:42 Mississippi is much smarter than you want to give us credit for!

Anonymous said...

Can't really blame Presley. He's a novice at Big-Boy-Politics.

He's just copying a page out of his boy Delbert's "Book of Negative Advertising". Hoseman has brought a new level-of-low to campaigning. Presley is just following the democrat model set by Hosemann.

Look for Presley to run an ad criticizing Reeves for having a Weber grill instead of a 55 gallon barrel drum in the yard.

Anonymous said...

Why in the world would a big time NFL legend like Brett Favre have to go through Tater's brother ... just to get an audience (or positive media comment) from Shadrack White ?








Anonymous said...

Funny watching leftist Democrat hypocrites that voted for and support Hunter Biden’s daddy start an article with the words “Gov. Tate Reeves’ brother.” BWAHAHAHAHA

Too many innocent children have died in lawlessness Jackson. If Democrats take over the state more innocent children will have to die in order to get the flight out of Mississippi that Democrats need in order to take over the state forever like they have taken over Jackson forever.

No matter how corrupt Republican get, it will be fractional when compared to Democrats and their lawlessness as the innocent children being murdered are just collateral damage to Democrats. Pure evil when innocent kids dying don’t matter.

Anonymous said...

Okay. So I read it twice. Seems like a long report of nothing. Reeves brother helped Favre repay money to the Auditor. So…..?

Dudley Doo Right said...

Those on the Presley bus are way-past desperate. And it's burnin' oil. Stuck on the tracks and here come the Tater-Train.

Anonymous said...

When does Nancy New and Zack New go to trial?

Anonymous said...

@4:42pm Agreed. The Democratic Party has demonstrated over the last three years what its true colors look like, and it is anti-American for sure. They'd rather see the whole country burn down, and lord over the ashes than to accept what healthy values and action can lead to for their families, children, and community. The Democratic federal administration (along with the complicit RINOs) knows this fact, and is making it happen merely to consolidate control.

Presley was a non-starter at the gate.

Anonymous said...

Shad White is always projecting. He doesn’t have clean hands.

Anonymous said...

This may be the skeleton in the Guv's closet that decides the election.

That turns around a +11 @ 52%?

Anonymous said...

…except isn’t Favre suing White? Would appear the overture was not accepted.

Anonymous said...

"OK, so all of y'all are tellin' me all anyone has to do is put something in one of these here white flappy things - what'd y'all call it, an 'en-vel-ope' - write on it, put it in that there big brick thing out at the end of the driveway, and it just gets where I want it to go? Damn, I'll never be able to understand all these fancy modern techy thingamajigs. I better whip out my iPhone and text good ol' Todd to ask him to hep me out with all this confusin' stuff..."

One would have guessed that while Brett may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (although he is apparently a Warren Buffett-esque idiot savant when it comes to investing in the healthcare sector), he could have figured out how to get a check from Hattiesburg to Jackson all by himself. But one would also guessed that if he just couldn't figure it out, a multimillionaire with a staff would have folks closer-at-hand and more readily-available than the Governor's brother to whom he could have asked for help.

Anonymous said...

(which permitted no reader comments)

Just like 100% of the stories pub'd by the Barksdalers. No reader comments permitted.

Anonymous said...

Can you be anymore of a whore?

KF didn't take any Barksdaler money. Can you be anymore of a stupid ass?

Anonymous said...

“When Brett was considering repaying the funds, he asked me if I could help him get in touch with the auditor to coordinate that--so that's what I did. I helped money get back in the right hands, not the wrong hands, and I think that's what most people would have done. Brett believed he had done nothing wrong, and I helped convince him to return the money anyway".

Question 1: Favre needed 'help' to 'get in touch with the State Auditor'? How odd/ridiculous does that sound? Favre had attorneys and was texting the Governor. He needs a 'nobody' to 'help him get in touch with the auditor'?

Question 2: If Favre was already 'considering repaying the funds' how is it that the governor's brother convinced him to? Favre's attorney(s) had no doubt already advised Favre of the various pros and cons regarding repayment and non-repayment. Favre didn't need some 'nobody' advising or convincing him.

Regardless, I don't see anything illegal here. The only thing that is going to involve the Governor and the football player in illegality is if a text surfaces that clearly says, "Look, we can get ahold of this welfare money and make it look all proper and everybody will be happy". Other than that, these journalists are pissing in a whirlwind.

Anonymous said...

"This may be the skeleton in the Guv's closet that decides the election."

WRONG! The electorate doesn't give a rat's ass about TANF funds or volleyball nets. Nothing matters other than which party turns out the most voters.

Now, if there were to be a vote tomorrow on whether or not to charge/convict Phil Bryant, that would be different. Every Cowboy-Deputy carries a smoking gun.

Anonymous said...

7:49 am
Are you arguing that Democrats are smarter than Republicans because they can get evidence of " elected or appointed government officials" engaged in wrong doing and Republicans can't?

And, even though they, in your opinion commit more crimes, Republicans can't seem to catch them doing it?

Hunter Biden is an admitted drug addict. There is evidence of his wrong doing...tax fraud and having a weapon when a drug addict was not allowed (that's not a crime in some states anymore). He has not held nor is he running for elected office.

Unlike you, I don't believe in guilt by association. I don't hold parents responsible for ONE of their children becoming an embarrassment especially when the rest of the family are living decent lives and there is no evidence of their doing anything wrong. I get that some "associations" can lead you into trouble but EVIDENCE.

I don't think you read this article or else the words were " too big" for you to understand and you have no dictionary. And/or you don't know what honest government officials are supposed to do and not do. Giving a little "help to your friends" in the form of federal money that is not designated to be used for buildings on campuses, it a biggie " not"!

I also suspect that some of you think that because siphoning money into the " good ole boy" system has been routine, that it's legal. If a request for bids is written so that a " good ole boy" is the only one to qualify for the contract" you can get by with that. If restrictions purchases can limit government purchases to a small group, that works here too. If a bank or business erases monies owed by a government official, and later benefit, you won't even know it. If property is sold at less than value or vacation condos are available at no charge, you won't know. But, if you help your friends get something they want or enrich themselves with federal funds and you directly facilitate that, you are dumber than rocks or so feel so "Teflon" that you can get by with anything.

But,the worst is YOU are admitting you would vote for those where there is evidence the candidate committed crimes or collaborated with those who did over anyone you suspect without evidence because of party affiliation. In a land where the rule of law still exists for now, that is STUPID and SO SELF-_DESTRUCTIVE as to be crazy.

Anonymous said...

@6:27 pm
The real value in this blog is not just KF’s selection of articles, paid or otherwise, but in the fact that it outs people like you!

Anonymous said...

6:27 PM…besides running a business it’s called being unbiased; which pretty much does not exist anymore outside of blogs like JJ - in this day and age of pick a side, not what’s right/moral.

I will donate another grand to St Jude Children’s Hospital if you can get Bill Crawford and Mississippi Today to admit in writing what we all know is a 100% for sure fact; that they WOULD NOT be reporting on Lynn Fitch or Tate Reeves brother if they were Democrats.

And therein lies the problem with the Un-United States of America today; party lap dog propagandists – parading around - “pretending” to be journalists.


He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me…” Mark 7:6

Anonymous said...

10:55 AM, (since you started the insults) if you could read past the first paragraph you would have read:

“Too many innocent children have died in lawlessness Jackson. If Democrats take over the state more innocent children will have to die in order to get the flight out of Mississippi that Democrats need in order to take over the state forever like they have taken over Jackson forever.”

And you also would have read:

“No matter how corrupt Republican get, it will be fractional when compared to Democrats and their lawlessness as the innocent children being murdered are just collateral damage to Democrats. Pure evil when innocent kids dying don’t matter.”


Or 10:55 AM, did you read past the first paragraph but are like all of the other Democrats that don’t give a F _ _ _ about the innocent young children dying in lawlessness Democrat controlled cities?


P. S. Somebody tell us what Todd Reeves does for a living. I have no clue but thought he, like Hunter Biden, was NOT an “elected or appointed government official.”

Kingfish said...

I don't see why what he does for a living has anything to do with the story. Go dox somewhere else

Anonymous said...

Who needs state funding for a sports facility anyway? Not Ole Miss, not State, not USM (not above the table anyway). Not anymore. They're set.
So Tate made it clear that those "other folks" will not get funding for a stadium under his watch. A true fiscal conservative.

Anonymous said...

This whole thing is ridiculous!

People are all upset the Governor's brother is giving the auditor a helping hand?

One thing that people need to realize, if anyone needs a favre done by Mississippi government, why wouldn't you use the Governor's brother to help you? Government's too busy to help the average person, this type of behind the scenes help can endrun around red tape and rules.

Also it's ridiculous to see these messages released, what ever happened to attorney client privileged? Why roll over on this without a fight?

At least the donors list for Tate's Inaugural non-profit is still secret. Otherwuise people would be asking if anyone was donating to that and then having the governor's brother help ask for favres.

Anonymous said...

"...modern techy thingamajigs..."

Brett can take and send a dickpic with his cellphone to a gal reporter via text but he can't get money in his own back account to a state agency 90 miles away, by mail, ETF, or personal delivery? Yeah, ain't no banker in Mississippi who knows what an ETF is and ain't none of them folks ever done heard of none of them electronical money-sending systems. Mississippi bankers may be less-than-geniuses, but they aren't that stupid.

$10K in US $100 bills (honestly earned, not from any governmental source) says if Brett received a check for $500K-$1mil as a speaking fee, neither he or anyone with whom he engages daily (or nearly so) would have the slightest problem knowing exactly how to deposit and spend it. He didn't need Todd to help deposit the money in his bank account so why in the hell did he need him to return that money from his bank account?

It has an aroma about it because it's 100% MSGOP-certified Prime Grade-fucking-A bullshit. And before anyone goes there, the Bidens' and the Trumps' similar fiscal nonsense are 100% DNC/RNC-certified Prime Grade-fucking-A bullshit, too.

Anonymous said...

If Mississippi Today, and Anna Wolfe, lean any further left, they will fall off of the table. That republican that broke her heart really did a number on her.

Anonymous said...

@12:26

So you are down with the 'MSGOP Friends and Family Plan' looting tens of millions of taxpayer dollars?

Other than Phil blowing the whistle there appears to be no shame in their games.

Anonymous said...

I am all for prosecuting Phil and anyone else found to have committed a crime and I am a conservative.

Finding a liberal who can say the same about their own ilk is rare

Finding a MS Today reporter who can say that is damn near impossible.

But MS Today knows that Todd does not have to actually commit a crime. They can Maury Povich this nothing burger into a feeding frenzy that low IQ democrats will gladly consume. Its easy when you are controlled by emotions, rather than facts.

Anonymous said...

"...(MS Today) can Maury Povich this nothing burger..."

I'd guess that the Maury Povich audience and the MS Today audience don't have a lot of overlap, and I'm fairly certain that this one thing will not change the minds, voting-wise, of many who read MS Today. I'm 100% sure that one of the big problems we face as a state and as a country is the inane polarization demonstrated by many of the comments on threads like this one.

Those who claim to be "conservative" accuse those they assert are "liberals" of being biased, stupid, and hypocritical, and the "liberals" accuse the "conservatives" of being biased, stupid, and hypocritical. The voters in the middle - a large cohort of voters who actually decide many elections, especially the POTUS, who lean conservative on some things and liberal on others, and try to apply common sense to as many things as possible - see both fringes as shrieking, uninformed partisans and it does not bring us around, it alienates us.

That is among the reasons Trump lost in 2020 - a lot of the people who gave him a chance, especially when the choice was Hillary Clinton, weren't going to make the same mistake twice. And I suspect if the GOP manages to come up with anyone remotely viable (obviously other than Trump), many will feel exactly the same about Biden in 2024. But if it is choice between Trump or Biden (or even Harris), Trump will lose again, but if the choice is a reasonable, moderate-ish Republican (which eliminates Trump) Biden or especially Harris gets put out to pasture.

As this relates to Tate and this particular article/issue, I'd bet Tate knows he faces an opponent who appears to be fairly moderate and basically reasonable and rational but happens to be a Dem. Every negative bit of news, even the "nothing burgers," causes dyspepsia because he knows full well that even in Mississippi the "moderate middle" can decide a state-wide election and we don't vote on party affiliation alone.

Anonymous said...

Shad is the one who looks bad in this latest episode of hidden secrets becoming public. See what I did there.

Anonymous said...

Brandon Presley has taken so much money from energy companies that he regulates, how is he not in jail like other commissioners that took money from companies they regulate??? Will the attorney general do her job!!!

Anonymous said...

2:49 PM, agree w/much of what you said, especially the upcoming POTUS election and the "moderate middle" (voted for AG Hood every time and AG Moore before him).

And Lord knows Republicans are masters at playing checkers in the chess match (when they didn’t get their way on a development, the idiots literally gave control of Madison Cnty to Democrats, true story, can’t make it up). Luckily Democrats have not had time to destroy the County – yet.

What you may be underestimating though is how way past sick and tired voters are of Democrat crime, the tool they use to take control of cities forever (so much for “democracy”). Not long ago in Rankin County I told an African American gentlemen about a place in Jackson - his response was “I don’t go over there.”

If Brandon Presley were an Independent, then yea, “the "moderate middle" can decide a state-wide election and we don't vote on party affiliation alone.” But as long as he’s beholden to Democrats, especially the white ones that take their asses home to their safe houses in safe neighborhoods (gated? Republican cities, counties?), while innocent poor children have to worry about being killed with stray bullets, we cannot afford to turn Mississippi over to Democrats.

Otherwise, the next move is out of state.



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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