Friday, January 28, 2022

EPA Warns Jackson Again

The EPA issued the following statement.  The press release is rather long so the part applicable to Jackson has been highlighted in red text for the reader's convenience.  

Following through on his commitment to action during his Journey to Justice Tour, US Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Michael S. Regan announced today the first in a series of actions responding directly to concerns of communities historically and disproportionately impacted by pollution. The actions, which range from policy changes to community-driven efforts, reflect Administrator Regan’s commitment to deliver environmental justice and work towards building a better America, and are part of the Biden-Harris Administration’s whole-of-government approach to addressing these issues in communities that are marginalized, underserved, and overburdened by pollution.

“In every community I visited during the Journey to Justice tour, the message was clear - residents have suffered far too long and local, state, and federal agencies have to do better,” said EPA Administrator Michael S. Regan. “The pollution concerns have been impacting these communities for decades. Our actions will begin to help not only the communities I visited on this tour, but also others across the country who have suffered from environmental injustices.”

In response to concerns from residents in overburdened neighborhoods, EPA is announcing specific actions in each of the areas that he visited on the tour. In addition, EPA is outlining a series of broad policy actions including: 

  • Committing EPA to aggressively use its authority to conduct unannounced inspections of suspected non-compliant facilities, as needed to protect public health. When facilities are found to be non-compliant, EPA will use all available tools to hold them accountable.
  • Deploying a new program to expand air monitoring capacity, utilizing assets such as the ASPECT airplane, GMAP mobile air monitoring vehicle, and additional air pollution inspectors to enhance enforcement.
  • Mobilizing agency resources to invest in community air monitoring to better protect people and public health in vulnerable areas.
  • Pressing state and local elected officials to take urgent action to better protect the most overburdened communities.
  • Holding companies more accountable for their actions in overburdened communities with increased monitoring and oversight of polluting facilities.
  • Applying best available science to agency policymaking to safeguard public health and protect the environment.

In addition to these policy changes, the Administrator has directed his team to work on several steps to address specific community concerns.

Agency-wide actions

To ensure facility compliance with environmental laws, the Administrator directed the Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assurance (OECA) to aggressively use its authority to conduct unannounced inspections at suspected non-compliant facilities, as needed, to protect public health.

EPA is announcing today a new Multi-Scale Monitoring Project called the Pollution Accountability Team (PAT) to provide strong environmental compliance and monitoring in the south, launching in Spring 2022. This program combines high-tech air pollution monitoring with boots-on-the-ground inspectors to address pollution and enhance enforcement at a community scale. EPA’s ASPECT airplane will monitor facilities from the sky while mobile vehicles like EPA’s GMAP will monitor pollution from the ground. At the same time, a team of inspectors from across EPA regions will follow up to investigate any emission detection findings at specific sites. The PAT pilot program will also work to develop and/or acquire new instrumentation to measure newly emerging contaminants, such as chloroprene and ethylene oxide.  More details on this program will be available in the coming weeks, including a schedule for meetings with communities. 

As previously announced, the Agency is also directing resources to better protect people and public health in overburdened areas across the nation, making $20 million in grants available from the American Rescue Plan to enhance local air monitoring for pollutants of greatest concern in communities facing health disparities. The largest investment in community-based monitoring systems in EPA history will provide transparency and accountability, and foster pollution strategies in underserved communities.  EPA encourages community-based nonprofit organizations, Tribes, states, and local governments to apply for the grants before the March 25 deadline. More information:

The Agency is also taking steps to apply the best available science to solutions for communities facing severe pollution. Last week, the Office of Chemical Safety and Pollution Prevention (OCSPP) released for peer review a proposed screening methodology to evaluate chemical risk to fenceline communities. Today, the Administrator signed a notice proposing to reaffirm EPA’s peer-reviewed scientific assessment showing that ethylene oxide is significantly more toxic than previously understood, and to find that it is appropriate to rely upon this assessment in taking regulatory actions to reduce this harmful pollutant. This notice responds to several petitions for reconsideration of a 2020 rule revising emission standards for chemical plants in the Miscellaneous Organic Chemical Manufacturing source category and will be open to public comment for 30 days. The rigorous evaluation of scientific studies that EPA is reaffirming in today’s notice will ensure the agency is guided by the best information as EPA works to address health risks posed by ethylene oxide.

Taking action in Mississippi

In Jackson, Administrator Regan saw firsthand the longstanding water infrastructure challenges and the impacts these problems have on the community including children at Wilkins Elementary School, where the Administrator was to visit students and faculty until school was canceled due to low water pressure.

And once again this week, the winter weather has caused yet another boil water notice in Jackson, which has faced too many significant water challenges for too long. On January 25, 2022, EPA issued a Notice of Noncompliance to the city for not timely repairing and maintaining equipment necessary to reliably produce drinking water.

Later this week, Administrator Regan will be sending follow-up letters to elected officials to stress the importance of dedicating federal infrastructure funds, including nearly $79 million allocated to Mississippi from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law to solve some of most dire water needs in Jackson and other areas of need across Mississippi.

“Administrator Regan’s leadership on addressing environmental Justice issues that have plagued communities in the deep south for far too long gives us hope that change will come,” said NAACP President and CEO Derrick Johnson. “During his visit to Jackson he was able to see firsthand the water infrastructure challenges we’re experiencing in the city, and today he’s following through on his commitment to fight for vulnerable communities to receive the funding they need from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law.”

“I look forward to EPA keeping its promise of equity and equality when serving minority communities," said Congressman Bennie Thompson.

Taking action in Louisiana

Administrator Regan later traveled to Louisiana, meeting residents in New Orleans, St. John the Baptist Parish, St. James Parish, and Mossville, where he saw the impacts of pollution, climate change and crumbling water infrastructure.

The new Pollution Accountability Team will start as the pilot air monitoring project in Mossville, St. James Parish and St. John the Baptist Parish. EPA will work with residents and community leaders to determine the routes to be traveled by the mobile monitoring vehicle and the contaminants to be monitored.  As part of the Administration’s commitment to transparency, EPA Region 6 will make this data available to the public.

EPA will also invest more than $600,000 to procure mobile air pollution monitoring equipment and will be deploying the monitors specifically in Mossville, St. John the Baptist Parish and St. James Parish, among other communities located in the south. This equipment will measure volatile organic compounds (VOCs), including air toxics, and will dramatically improve EPA’s ability to measure pollution quickly and assess situations in real-time. EPA will work with local organizations to host trainings for community members to familiarize them with the technology and the process the Agency uses for its air monitoring.  

In St. John the Baptist Parish, EPA used its authority to require the Denka facility to install fenceline monitors to identify sources of emissions onsite, allowing the EPA and communities to better understand air pollutants in a quick, reliable way.  This month, Denka complied with EPA’s request to install these monitors. 

In addition, Administrator Regan sent a letter to Denka and DuPont CEOs pressing the companies to protect residents of St. John the Baptist Parish, including children that learn and play along their fenceline, after periodic elevated concentrations of chloroprene were measured nearby. In the letter, Administrator Regan wrote: “…as a parent, I remain extremely concerned about the over 500 children at the elementary school. I am writing to you today to reiterate what I hope are our shared concerns and expectations over the health and well-being of the students. EPA expects DuPont and Denka to take other needed action to address community concerns.” Further, EPA’s Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assurance will work with the Department of Justice to redouble their efforts in seeking additional, and timely, avenues of relief for this community.

In St. James Parish, Administrator Regan heard concerns about the impacts of the proposed Formosa Plastics facility. In response to resident requests, EPA announced support for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ decision to require a more robust Environmental Impact Statement as a permit for a proposed Formosa plant expansion is considered. This will ensure a stronger understanding of impacts this plant may have on communities. Considerations will include evaluating reasonable alternatives to the proposed action, the potential cumulative effects, and a public comment period – none of which were previously required by the environmental assessment. EPA has offered to provide technical assistance to the Army Corps in the development of the Impact Statement.

This week, EPA Region 6 also issued a Notice of Violation and Opportunity to Confer (NOVOC) to Nucor Steel Louisiana LLC in St. James Parish. The EPA notice requires Nucor to address unauthorized emissions of hydrogen sulfide and sulfuric acid mist, and exceedance of permitted limits for sulfur dioxide emissions at Nucor’s Direct Reduced Iron (DRI) facility.

In Mossville, LA, Administrator Regan joined residents to discuss their concerns around air and water quality. In response, today EPA announced a significant increase in inspections of industrial facilities in the Mossville area. EPA will assess compliance at facilities that present potentially elevated risks to the community based on recent EPA helicopter flyovers and mobile air monitoring of the area. EPA also provided $38,886 for LDEQ to purchase a NAAQS quality PM 2.5 continuous monitor to be placed across the road from Sasol’s Lake Charles Complex.

EPA will monitor and review the data and conduct an independent assessment to determine if NAAQS standards are exceeded in the Lake Charles area. The EPA will also conduct Technical System Audits on a rotating basis of the State’s monitoring system operations as well as reviewing LDEQ’s annual data certifications and LDEQ’s annual monitoring network plan.

EPA Region 6 also issued this week a Notice of Potential Violation and Opportunity to Confer (NOPVOC) Letter to Sasol Chemicals USA, LLC. The Sasol facility uses natural gas and by-products from refinery operations to produce specialty chemicals for detergents and cosmetics. The chemical complex uses or produces several regulated flammables such as ethylene, propane, butane, propylene, ethane, butane, hydrogen, methane and pentane. The EPA notice follows a January 2021 Compliance Evaluation conducted by inspectors from EPA Region 6 and LDEQ, and requires Sasol to address potential Risk Management Plan violations found during the inspection.

In New Orleans’ Gordon Plaza neighborhood, Administrator Regan heard from residents about the impacts of living in the affordable housing development built on the former site of the Agriculture Street Landfill. As part of addressing those concerns, EPA will now expedite a review of the site which was previously slated for review in 2023; the accelerated review will begin in March 2022 and will include 9 homes that were not included in the previous review process. The Agency is taking this step to re-evaluate its previous decision that the land is safe and to communicate the results to the community. In addition, on January 6, 2022, Administrator Regan met with Mayor Cantrell and Dr. Beverly Wright of the Deep South Center for Environmental Justice (DSCEJ) to discuss a shared commitment between EPA and the City of New Orleans to work together on community-based solutions for the residents of Gordon Plaza. The solutions discussed would support relocation of community members off the land, provide economic opportunity for the City, advance clean energy, and lower greenhouse gas emissions in the area. Most importantly, they would ensure the health and safety of Gordon Plaza residents is protected. Administrator Regan and Dr. Wright committed to continue working closely with Mayor Cantrell and her team to advance these shared goals.

“I would like to thank the Administrator for assisting the City of New Orleans with their infrastructure issues, as well as initiating first steps toward accountability, especially regarding air quality enforcement, monitoring, and data collection, which I called for back in August,” said Congressman Troy A. Carter, Sr. “The environmental justice actions announced today will allow collection of independent, reliable data that will inform the path forward to better the public health of our community.”

Taking Action in Texas

Following stops in Houston, including the Fifth Ward, Kashmere Gardens and the Houston Ship Channel, where Administrator Regan spoke with residents about impacts of air and water pollution from nearby facilities on the community, EPA announced the following actions.

Throughout stops in Texas and Louisiana, communities voiced concerns over the health risks that ethylene oxide (EtO) poses to their residents and called for swift action to reduce emissions of this dangerous chemical to outdoor air. As part of the proposal announced today to reaffirm EPA’s peer-reviewed scientific assessment showing that EtO is significantly more toxic than previously understood, EPA is proposing to formally reject the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality’s less protective risk value for EtO. EPA is committed to leading with the best available science in this and future rulemakings to reduce emissions of this chemical and better protect people’s health. The agency is also looking at a range of approaches besides regulations for achieving emissions reductions while regulations are in development, and ensuring communities are informed and engaged as we work to address EtO.

In the Fifth Ward and Kashmere Gardens area, EPA announced completion of a review of a proposed Union Pacific Railroad permit renewal and corrective actions that govern cleanup of contamination at the Houston Wood Preserving Works site. EPA intends to submit comments to TCEQ laying out concerns and recommendations to ensure that permit terms and corrective action goals address the concerns of community members, who are disproportionately impacted by pollution. EPA is also monitoring TCEQ’s installation and operation of additional air monitors. These air monitors will supplement the existing monitoring network and capture the pollution that residents in these communities face. In addition, on January 20, 2022, Administrator Regan spoke with Mayor Sylvester Turner to discuss the continued commitment between EPA and the City of Houston to work together to ensure the community’s concerns are addressed and the health and safety of residents is protected.

In response to the call for improved accessibility to language and interpretation services, EPA is establishing a partnership with Texas Environmental Justice Advocacy Services ( T.E.J.A.S) under the Beyond Translation (BT) Plus program to improve communication, especially when it comes to information on environmental risk and enforcement. Under the partnership, EPA will develop local strategies to address air toxics in communities, provide better transparency regarding enforcement, and improve access to risk management plans.

"I am pleased to thank EPA Administrator Michael Regan, the Environmental Protection Agency, and the Biden Administration for these important steps forward to help the people in my Congressional District, living in Kashmere Gardens, 5th Ward and other Northeast areas of Houston and Harris County that comprise the 18th Congressional District.   This announcement today is going to change lives.  Over the past years I have been holding meetings, and engaging with state and federal officials repeatedly, and meeting cancer victims while listening to the stories of families who lost loved to cancer and other diseases over the generations.  We are desperate for relief.   I have been disappointed by the unwillingness of previous Administrations to act to protect residents. Now that has changed with the Biden Administration,” said Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee. “As a member of the House Committees on Homeland Security, I have long worked for every resource possible to solve the problem of creosote contamination in these neighborhoods. Again, this focused relief that is coming under the leadership of the Environmental Protection Agency Administrator is a great relief to my constituents; and is evidence of the importance of the Environmental Justice Tours that the Administrator has taken throughout the nation.  People’s lives will be better, and we are going to save lives because of this.  I will continue to raise these issues and seek major relief, which for these residents may result in a Super Fund cleanup.”

 For more information, visit:


Anonymous said...

I suggest I don't suggest anything.

Krusatyr said...

Environmental Justice and Equity? Is water racist, Bennie?

Anonymous said...

Ahhh “communities historically and disproportionately impacted by pollution“ that’s a beautiful woke term. If the EPA was actually going to do something and fining people, Jackson would be shut down, then the “communities historically and disproportionately impacted by pollution” would be screaming again. Maybe they could teach “communities historically and disproportionately impacted by pollution“ to stop illegal dumping all around Hinds County as start.

Anonymous said...

Jackson don't care.... dems are untouchable. It would be racist to do anything to the Bold New City!

Anonymous said...

Jackson sure has had some convenient timing in regards to the water issues of late....

Anonymous said...

"Environmental justice, water challenges, equity and equality" - cover and code for gross incompetence, unaccountability and Marxism - drivel.

Anonymous said...

I sure would hate for Lumumba and Charles Williams to have to work in a city where you had to actually get sh*t done. Imagine them working at a utility where you had to bill and collect, maintain the system, repair and replace as necessary. And you were expected to put in the work and the hours and the effort to get it done. I'm not sure either one of them could handle it. They are on the gravy train in Jackson. Lots of talk with no work or effort or accountability. My hat is off to both of them. They have it figured out while the rest of us suckers are working for a living.

Anonymous said...

The fact that a couple of low IQ charlatans like Bennie Thompson and Sheila Jackson-Lee wield as much power as they have, is deeply troubling. I can only imagine the laughter their soundbites generate around the world when reviewed by foreign officials. Further evidence that heady days of American Exceptionalism are long over.

Anonymous said...

There goes Bennie throwing around words he doesn't know the meaning of "equity" "equality"
What makes the EPA think Jackson is going to do anything?

Anonymous said...

Who's going to tell them?

Anonymous said...

@10:09 & 10:13
You are 100% correct about not even speaking correctly and also getting laughed at by foreign officials.
We in America and Mississippi have been conditioned to accept a lower standard. I had a vice-principal in high school who pronounced “education” as “edumacation” and a middle school English teacher who pronounced “Ask” as “Aks”. So we don’t chuckle at them anymore like we should, due to social conditioning.

Anonymous said...

Provide Jackson with its per capita share and not a dollar more. The rest of Mississippi should not be penalized for Lumumba's and previous Jackson administrations' gross incompetence.

Anonymous said...

January 28, 2022 at 10:09 AM

Have had the same thoughts myself. You know the Chinese and Iranians are laughing at us.

Anonymous said...

Well, I can see it coming........

"Socrates Garrett water lines and wings"

When the millions of dollars (that are on the way), hit Jackson, it's gonna be like Christmas.

The Mercedes, Land Rover, BMW and Jaguar dealers better watch for the arrival of the money. Everybody gonna be "Stylin'". The black Escalades will probably sell out first.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile down in Bolton's farm country where Bennies base is.....the chemicals flow along with the weed and corruption. It's the Bennie way...along with 100 dollar gifts and 2 BBQ's a year. I suggest the next Republican or Dem to run against him up the blessings to 200 and 3 BBQ's a year.

Anonymous said...

This is the song that never ends...It just goes round and round my friends!

Anonymous said...

does the city of jackson want billions to fix the problems, only to defer maintenance and have the cycle repeat in 30 years.


Anonymous said...

Bennie the Charlatan raising the race-card right on schedule, right?

Anonymous said...

"concerns of communities historically and disproportionately impacted by pollution"

Lets talk about that historically part. How far back does it count to be "historical" When was the pollution noticed and under what administration. I dare say it wasn't an issue under some administrations, and declined under others. I'll let you be the judge as to which ones.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if they took a look at the bodies littering the streets of Jackson? Bet they won't bring that up.

Anonymous said...

Now I see the wisdom(?) of the city spending $250,000 to have several consultants recommend an organizational structure for the Public Works Department. The people & processes are in place for stealing or misappropriating all the federal money that will flow into the city to fix problems it created. Scary part is, Marshand Crisler is on of the consultants, tells you everything anyone needs to know about this scam.

Kingfish said...

Bennie and the Mayor are not exactly allies right now.

Anonymous said...

“ Later this week, Administrator Regan will be sending follow-up letters to elected officials to stress the importance of dedicating federal infrastructure funds, including nearly $79 million allocated to Mississippi from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law to solve some of most dire water needs in Jackson and other areas of need across Mississippi.”

This says the State was allocated the money. Kingfish: Any word on whether that money has actually reached the City?

Corruption City HQ said...

How much does Baby Chowke's sister receive? Socrates Garrett? It could happen, right?

Anonymous said...

During a November 8, 2021 inspection of the facility, “the pumps remained out of service, with no target date by the city to put the pumps back into service,” the letter states. “The loss of the pumps has caused multiple elevated tanks to be low or empty and has caused certain areas of the distribution system to have sustained low water pressure.”

Anonymous said...

EPA appears to be writing sternly worded letters for now. Until they start actually implementing fines and punishments for not sticking to their deal it appears to me the EPA is toothless.

Anonymous said...

Blah, blah, blah. All hat, no cattle. I'm sure the Mayor is shaking in his shoes at another letter. If the EPA will do anything within the next 20 years, I'll pass out from shock.

Anonymous said...

Even if they issue fines, it’s the taxpayers’ money. No skin off of these politicians or workers’ backs.

MeNot KNOWNas said...

Key word… again

Anonymous said...

Ok, all you Fondren liberals start making your snide remarks on how the mean ole "racist" EPA be hate'n on Jackson and are picking on the "WOKE" under achieving boy mayor.

If Jackson was a ship, there'd be an iceberg in the Pearl River.

Anonymous said...

The fix is in. No doubt it would happen. The 2nd District Congressman blames a lack of equity and mistreatment of a 'minority community' for the problems (i.e. it's the white guys' fault).

The NAACP, through its local mouth-piece is careful to lay the blame on 'former' folks back in history (aka white men).

This is simply another spinoff of the CRT wave.

Anonymous said...

So, we’re just going to ignore the question of whether Jackson’s intended share of the $79 million allocated to MS has made it to Jackson?

Isn’t availability of the funds to fix the problem a relevant detail? What am I missing?

Anonymous said...

Whenever I wonder what a bunch of bitter white men, mostly retired or on SS disability for obesity, think about local news, the comments at JJ are infallibly informative.

Anonymous said...

EPA? Hummm. Under Trump, the EPA was all set to proceed with 'the pump project' in the Delta. When Sleepy Joe took office, the same EPA suddenly decided, once again, to shit-can that plan. And you think Joe's EPA is going to squeeze Chokwe's shoes?

Anonymous said...

Have there been funds available in the past 20 years to address water issues? A bond issue or something? Of course, accurate water billing would put a little $$ in the coffers.

Anonymous said...

@10:25 There are funds available for both water and sewer. SRF funding for example. I know for a fact that one metro area water/sewer provider decided to forgo an SRF loan (and instead pay cash for an infrastructure improvement) simply to free up some funding for Jackson.

Funding has to be managed. Jackson has got to start hiring based upon qualifications and work ethic, not "who you know" or race. They honestly can't get out of their own way. They really don't want to fix it.

And there will be ARPA money available also.

Without a doubt though, the biggest funding source for any utility is the customer rate base. You have to to bill and collect. Nothing works if you don't bill and collect. I know that sounds simple, and it is. But it's true. Billing and collecting are the lifeblood.

Anonymous said...

7:17 - You're the only one who has the question. The EPA has no authority to (nor did it) mandate a certain % of federal money be spent in a certain city. Look, Socrates, I hate to burst your bubble, but...

Anonymous said...

Jackson has been given billions over the last 25 years to fix this and nothing ever get done.

Anonymous said...

Use the federal funds to totally fix the water/sewer problems and get the billing problems fixed. The water department was one of the only ones in the City of Jackson that made, yes made like in a profit, money. then the meter problems and billing got in terrible shape. If you ignore the USEPA you will pay dearly and they have been very patient with the City of Jackson's inaction for several years.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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