Monday, August 17, 2009

JPD: Serving & Protecting or Just Protecting the Defense?

**Exclusive: Must credit Jackson Jambalaya**

Copy of documents

The City of Jackson filed a Motion to Quash a Subpoena in Rankin County Chancery Court against the Estate of Dr. Mark Pogue, one of the deceased in the Irby case. The attorney for the estate, John Farese of Ashland, filed several motions for discovery seeking records from JPD. The estate subpoenaed the following from JPD on April 16, 2009:

"1. A copy of all call logs from JPD for radio communications with all Jackson Police Department officers for February 11, 2009, from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM on February 12, 2009.
2. A copy of all 911 call logs for calls to Jackson 911 for February 11, 2009 from 10:00 PM to 11:59 PM.. on February 12, 2009.
3. A copy of all recordings of all radio communications and telephone calls referred to in items 1 and 2 above.
(from another subpoena)
1. A copy of the accident reconstruction of the 2/11/09 accident involving a vehicle driven by Daniel Mark Pogue and a vehicle driven by Karen Irby, which includes but is not limited to all drawings, graphs, digital or electronic re-creations, photographs, reports, analysis and conclusions, and any other item or thing not otherwise described herein which is responsive to this subpoenaed item.
2. The BAC report on the blood sample of Karen Irby taken on 2/11/09.
3. The results of the downloading of the information from the electronic control module on the Irby vehicle- 2006 Mercedes CL S500"

In response, attorney Sarah O'Reilly-Eavans filed for the City of Jackson a Motion to Quash Subpoena on April 28, 2009. The motion claims the information is privileged and should be quashed. Jackson also argues the information sought is not related to the probating of the Pogue estate and that Farese can probate the estate without the records sought. SORE even goes so far as to call the subpoena an "abuse of the Mississippi Rules of Civil Procedure". SORE accuses the plaintiff of not paying a "witness fee", thus making the subpoena "null and void". She finally and predictably argues the information sought was the basis of an ongoing investigation by the Hinds County District Attorney and that "said investigation might be prejudiced by the release of the information until it is presented to the grand jury". Jackson then asks for a protective order in the event the Court honors the subpoena.

The motion to quash was filed while Frank was still alive and Mayor of Jackson. This motion will only fuel some of the conspiracy theories that have floated around Jackson about this case as it gives the appearance that JPD has something to hide. (One should also ask if the D.A. even knows about this little skirmish.) There is a simple way out for JPD and that is to settle with Farese and agree to release the subpoenaed information under seal which will settle the privacy concerns of JPD and ensure the plaintiff's rights are protected. It should be noted the estate has one year to file a wrongful death action based on an intentional tort. Thus the City's argument it has nothing to do with probating the will is probably not valid.

The plaintiff also issued subpoenas to other parties. One was issued to the Country Club of Jackson for a list of all employees on February 11, 2009, "all documents evidencing any orders purchases or any other documents of purchase made by Stuart Irby and his wife Karen Irby, including but not limited to credit card receipts or charge tickets," and all surveillance video from 9:00 to 11:00 PM on February 11, 2009. The plaintiff also subpoenaed Russell and Catherine McCarty to appear at the law office of Calvin Wells to provide depositions.

It is clear the rumors the case settled are false as Mr. Farese vigorously seeks justice for the late Dr. Pogue. One can only wonder if Sarah O'Reilly-Evans and JPD were doing the same after it was shown how much information was covered up by her office when Jackson Jambalaya recently published the police reports on the Heather Spencer murder. While the prosecution certainly has a strong interest in not seeing its case compromised, one is always cynical when Sarah O'Reilly-Evans and Frank Melton are involved.


Anonymous said...

Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with A-B-C
When you sing you begin with do-re-mi

1. A copy of all call logs from JPD for radio communications with all Jackson Police Department officers for February 11, 2009, from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM on February 12, 2009.

2. A copy of all 911 call logs for calls to Jackson 911 for February 11, 2009 from 10:00 PM to 11:59 PM. on February 12, 2009.

3. A copy of all recordings of all radio communications and telephone calls referred to in items 1 and 2 above.

Can you hear the footsteps Sheriff Campaign Contribution? You don't rule the roost in Rankin County.

Anonymous said...

Please, please do not cavalierly advocate producing documents under seal. Sorry to sound haughty, but I assure you . . . you have no idea what you're arguing for or against. Putting documents under seal is a curse, a disease that seriously threatens to destroy all TRANSPARENCY in the court system - the one factor that insures a fair and open system.

Anonymous said...

What is the role of Russell and Catherine McCarty?

Anonymous said...

5:31. Has to have something to do with the CCJ. I'm guessing the McCartys must have been seated with or near the Irbys at the CCJ and perhaps the McCartys walked out of the CCJ that night with the Irbys.

Anonymous said...

Now I am seriously believing now that the JPD is hiding something big time, and it has to be that the Irby car was stopped by the JPD before the wreck occurred. Cold or warm or hot?

Anonymous said...

This information is very important to the probate case. The personal representative has the right and perhaps duty to bring a wrongful death lawsuit. There is a tight statute of limitations for wrongful death suits as well. In order for the personal representative of the estate to make an informed and intelligent decision on whom to sue, if anyone, the personal representative must have this information.

Kingfish said...

Ok Rat Patrol, anyone want to spare me some trouble and research Fairley's campaign finance reports for you know what?

Anonymous said...

Makes you wonder if/when good old Ed Peters name comes into the picture. Don't forget the dinner Ed Peters and Robert Smith had in the Flowood or Hattiesburg (the Clarion Ledger initially reported Flowood, yesterday it reported Hattiesburg) shortly after this horrific event.

Let's just hope CONway Hood doesn't decide to "intervene" in this case, I doubt he'd even read (or understand) the police reports, actual cause of death(s), etc... Why is the Jackson chapter of MADD still in existence?

My heart and prayers go out the the families and friends of the deceased.

Anonymous said...

KF, are you talking about the Fairleys of Lucedale? You've lost me on this one.

5:31 ,6:08 gave you enough. Some of the people who dine at CCJ dine with others.

There is often a JPD vehicle ( with or without an officer visible inside) parked at CCJ. Whether there was one there that night in a position to observe events is unknown to me.

UNLESS JPD officers were directed by those in authority not to stop or detain the Irby car, I can't see that that information gives more than a good time line and perhaps, call into question officer discretion.

A time line from the exit of CCJ parking lot to the time of impact is a help in determining speed.

5:07 it was in Ranking County that Karen got a DUI with a slap on the wrist. And, where she subsequently appeared for disorderly conduct before the same judge . So far, I'm not convinced that Rankin County is tougher.

Anonymous said...

Try this for info on Fairley:

Anonymous said...

7:15, 7:22 Acually it's Fairly not Fairley according to the website.

Anonymous said...

The McCartys had dinner with the Irbys that night.

It also looks like the person who said the car being stopped prior to the accident was not the "explosive" information may be wrong based on the info from 5:07.

Anonymous said...

Now I am seriously believing now that the JPD is hiding something big time, and it has to be that the Irby car was stopped by the JPD before the wreck occurred. Cold or warm or hot?

Burnin, burnin’ baby. When you’re hot you’re hot, you really shoot your shot. Let's make it funky now.

Anonymous said...

7:59 Going a little further with this.... Can we assume by the subpoenas issued for Dr. Pogue's estate that the lawyer for the estate also knows (or thinks) the Irby car was stopped prior to the wreck? Cold, warm, hot, or still burnin'?

And one more thing.....Could not all this info just be deleted from logs and the recordings like it never happened?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, they could delete some of it. I'd remind you, the crime of cover-up is much worse than the crime though. JPD ain't smart, but they are not that dumb. And everyone that has the information already would still know the information and everyone don't love JPD or Mac.

Anonymous said...

Way to go Kingfish - WLBT just gave credit where credit is due!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations KF, WLBT just gave you credit on their 10 pm news for breaking this news.

Anonymous said...

Damn, you beat me to it!

Anonymous said...

I'm just too good!

Anonymous said...

And I'm really cute!!! And smart!

Anonymous said...

When did JJ become the eHarmony sistet site?

Anonymous said...

From day one, I have maintained that the old boy network of Jackson will not be able to compete with the deep rooted families who were destroyed up north. They don't really give a crap about the politics. They are going to go the distance. The attempts to maintain the OBN, will only further the dragnet that will catch those who have lied.

Anonymous said...

Where are the supboenas?

Kingfish said...

I don't think JPD has a leg to stand on in this case. The statute 15-1-1 et seq states that for an intentional tort, the plaintiff has one year to file a wrongful death action. This would expire before Mrs. Irby's trial.

Kingfish said...

WAPT has me scared of them.

Anonymous said...

Picked up on the coast KF.

Anonymous said...

Farese ain't gonna be backing down.

Hello ... Calling Mr. Beasley said...

Now does this sound like a man who is unable to communicate?

I stood back with Kate for about 10 minutes and watched, and when the line of sight opened that Stuart could see me, he pointed, smiled, and called my name. After seeing him just a week ago in such a bad state, I never thought this day might come. He took my hand and wouldn’t let it go nor would I let go of him. I’ve heard about people coming back from a coma but have never seen something like this and it was thrilling to rejoice with the family.

Stuart’s speech is slow and it takes him some time to gather his thoughts, but his personality, wit, and spirit are just the same. We didn’t talk long before he started asking about the College. He wanted to know if the baseball team was having a good season. And he wanted to know about enrollment for next fall.

Get that. Only scant days out of the coma and Stuart Irby immediately recognized Belhaven's Dr. Parrott when he saw him, called his name, talked about Belhaven baseball and inquired about fall enrollment. Yup, sounds like someone who is really screwed up. So much so that he can't talk to prosecutors.

But I'll betcha Stuart has talked to Sheriff Campaign Contribution. Right Sheriff? WE KNOW that you are reading every word here.

Anonymous said...

So has a hearing taken place and the judge decided if the JPD has to comply with the subpoenas or not? If not, what is the hold up?

Anonymous said...

11:37 I hope you will make sure all who need to know about Stuart Irby's real condition has a copy of what Dr. Parrott wrote about him.

Kingfish said...

Spoke to court admin today, no one has requested a hearing.

Crisler WASN'T Shot in the Leg said...

Now if I was Farese I would have also gotten a subpoena for the call log associated with Sheriff Campaign Contribution's personal cell phone for the hours in question. You see he and Stuart were real tight. Never know when one friend is going to need to reach out for the other. Real tight.

Sheriff, listen close. Do you hear that sniffing in the bushes? That is the local media who have picked up the scent of this blockbuster. You might be a good ol' boy with a whole heap of chits in that favor bag of yours but this story is just too insanely humongous for it not to get busted wide open.

Oooohhh weeee Sheriff you just aren't going to be able to cover this up.

Anonymous said...

King, please clue me in on what happens next. The subpoenas were issued to the JPD by the Estate of the deceased doctor's lawyer. The City Attorney then filed a Quash Subpoenas. So does nothing happen next until someone asks for a hearing or can the judge rule on what's before him now?

Thanks for posting the subpoenas. Interesting stuff for sure.

Anonymous said...

This story is really picking up traction. It's only a matter of time before national entities start digging around. If I were the local channels, I'd go ahead and pull some of the early footage, comments and quotes from Chief Mac shortly after the fatal wreck. And maybe the footage of the drunk that hit him, for some reason, he was happy to reveal his BAC. Thanks for all your hard work Tricia Raymond.

Anonymous said...

This story is really picking up traction. It's only a matter of time before national entities start digging around. If I were the local channels, I'd go ahead and pull some of the early footage, comments and quotes from Chief Mac shortly after the fatal wreck. And maybe the footage of the drunk that hit him, for some reason, he was happy to reveal his BAC. Thanks for all your hard work Tricia Raymond.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Parrott's account is like all the early accounts I'd heard...a deliberation in motion and speech ,no recognition problems and no evidence of short or long term memory loss.

It may also be important to remember that Lisa's estate will settled in NJ. Mississippi's old boy network won't impress any judges up there.

KF, could Lisa's family's wrongful death suit take place in NJ? Is it the place the death occurred or can it be filed where the victim had a legal residence? At any rate, hope you're finding ( found) a reporter to network with up there.

I hope any witnesses will look to their self-interest and tell the whole truth and nothing but. I'd sure hate to see more lives ruined. If they've already lied by omission or deliberately, it's not too late to remedy that and they should seek INDEPENDENT legal advise. If a friend wants you to lie for them, they are no friend. A friend never puts you in that situation, a user does.

Catfish said...

Dan Fairly is an excellent judge, and I don't think he'll let the City get away with any attempts to hide the ball; nor do I think he'll let the Fareses run wild. Should be interesting to see how this shakes out. Does anyone know if the depositions actually took place as scheduled?

Also, many years ago, while he was in private practice, Fairly represented a number of the sheriffs around the state in tort claims. Not really relevant, but interesting.

Kingfish said...

Makes you wonder why JPD is fighting this motion so hard or why they won't release the BAC or other info.

Anonymous said...

Wow, some explosive inuendos on here. If Stuart was driving and they were stopped by police, maybe called Sheriff / then JPD chief McMillan and the police allowed Karen to get behind the wheel ,,,,, I think it would mitigate Karen's criminality. It would put the police and Mac on the hook for sure.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely- do believe this is a HUGE possibility- maybe this is why we didn't get info on BAC/arrest etc..Sheriff Mac was on the hot seat already and trying to figure how to worm out of what is going to become a MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!
Have you lined up your good ole boy attorney- sheriff???

JDBerry said...

so? use the court under probate proceedings to garner information about whether you want to file a separate lawsuit?

that doesn't smack of abuse of the system?

something stinks here and it's more than JPD and/or any McMillan implications that have been made. Our judicial system is continually being abused and many here seem to be OK with it because it appears to help their sick obsesstion with this tragedy.

Kingfish said...

They have a SOL of ONE YEAR to file a wrongful death action based on an intentional tort. The clock is running. The administrator has every right to file such a lawsuit and conduct discovery.

JDBerry said...

So, file a wrongful death lawsuit and conduct discovery. Using a proceeding to farm for a lawsuit simply indicates the abuses that's in our system.

Anonymous said...

In re: 11:56

What? Abuse? How about the late Dr.'s attorney is following the rule of law by filing probate of a person who died without a will. An outstanding legal case in probate must be considered if they are ever going to settle the estate, the evidence they requested should be reviewed in light of potential lawsuits arising in benefit of the estate. Your should be aiming your abuse of process/system right where it belongs...the corruption and actions taken (or not taken) to hide this case from public scrutiny. If it weren't for KF, NONE of this information nor this discussion would have taken place.

Anonymous said...

JDBerry sounds like a card-carrying member of the GOB network.

Anonymous said...

Y'all lay off JD. As a casual troll of this and other local websites, I've read many of his posts. They're usually dead-on and don't mince words. Maybe on this he just hadn't had enough coffee.

KF, thanks for staying on top of this since nobody else seems too concerned. Any word whether more local stations will be picking this up?

JDBerry said...

This appears to be a part of a probate proceeding and not a wrongful death lawsuit.

The McCarty's, in this case, would appear to not have anything to do with probating the will of the Pogue, but are required to give deposition to the probate proceedings and not to any wrongful death proceedings.

I'm open to it being explained how this makes sense.

Anonymous said...

In order to keep the estate open, maybe they need to convince the court that a potential wrongful death lawsuit is realistic and testimony, evidence, etc. is relevant. The estate would have to bring the lawsuit on behalf of the late Dr., so, its very relevant to probate. If the estate is closed, then who would bring suit?

In addition to all this, there is the issue of the SOL. If they can establish within the estate that the estate does have a valid COA, then, perhaps, we will see a wrongful death suit filed by the estate.

The only issue I see is that this could be an end-run around filing the actual lawsuit. Gather the evidence force a settlement in advance, under this scenario, maybe a confidentiality agreement, helps EVERYONE involved.

Maybe this is also an attempt to preserve evidence in light of the secrecy that has surrounded this case. I just don't think it is abuse. One way or another, the information will be gotten, in what form, at what level of completeness, only time will tell. And the longer they wait, the OBN can possibly forget, misplace, accidentally erase things.

Anonymous said...

They're usually dead-on and don't mince words.

So you subscribe to his conspiracy theory that Harvey Johnson is illegally misreporting crime statistics?

Anonymous said...

Only if you admit that you drink Harvey's kool-aid. Oh wait, he doesn't serve kool-aid. He only has a commission studying the various uses of kool-aid. The expected release date of the commission's findings will be some time within the next two years, but definitely before a police chief is named.

Anonymous said...

Oh, all you lawyers PUHLEEZE

You spend your careers finding favorable interpretations of the law for your clients and rationalize it always as righteous rather than manipulation of the legal system and game playing.

Some of you lobby the legislature to help you in that effort to the point that in some cases ( usury comes immediately to mind) what use to be illegal becomes legal.

There are a few of you who actually manage to be reasonably successful with legal scholarship alone and get recognized and admired by the rest of you. But, you might should do a bit of soul searching before you assume you belong in that category.

All of you knew Peters was dirty for a long, long time. Thirty years ago I heard you lawyers whispering about him.

You think the Commission on Judicial Performance and the Mississippi Bar needs to be cleaned up, then DO IT! Corruption in the system? Who knows better than you how to document suspicious activity and report it to the Feds? It's up to you lawyers to DO more than bitch on a blog about it!

There's not a one of you who doesn't know who the competent lawyers are among you and who are the political hacks and who gets by on personality and who gets by on social connections and who the bad guys are.

And, there's not one of you who couldn't be and who shouldn't be trying to clean up your own house. If you are, great. But, please remember there's a difference between disagreeing on what the law is and casting asperions. The latter requires more than a disagreement about procedure or legal tactics.

As far as I'm concerned, the day lawyers got to advertise was a terrible day for the profession made worse by lawyers being able to lie to the public as long as they don't lie in court.

Want to clean up the profession, start there...a lawyer cannot lie about what legislation says or about the facts of a case in public.

If a lawyer says his client is,for example too ill to appear and that is not factually supported, that lawyer would be disbarred... or how about saying there's another Dude who did it ( like the mythical OJ drug dealers) without one WHIT OF SUPPORTING evidence being grounds for disbarrment... or how about there's a death panel in current's THAT for cleaning up abuse?!

Anonymous said...

10:00 Feel better now?

Anonymous said...

10:00 speaks for many of us.

Anonymous said...

I will be honest, I agree with 10:00am and given the argument, it is correct. We, who are not lawyers, are left threatened by frivolous lawsuits and even champerty. These unscrupulous attorneys continue to practice within the "protected" club b/c they are attorneys. Somehow, they are more credible!??!

To further the argument, I have yet to see an attorney abide by their own rules and report behavior that is forbidden. And to make it worse, the Bar makes most proceedings private. No public scrutiny. If there are attorneys out there doing the right thing to police their own, kudos to you. We need more!

Curt Crowley said...

Anon@ 10:00:

That was both inspirational and motivational. In fact, I haven't felt this motivated since the last time I watched Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's boot camp graduation speech in Full Metal Jacket. And by God, as a member of the legal profession, I hereby accept your challenge to "document" illegal activity and forward it to the FBI.

If you will, please email me privately and I will provide you with a proposed budget to cover the expenses of putting together the documentation necessary to make a case to present to the Government, so the G-men can nail these corrupt bastards.

This process is sometimes referred to as an "investigation." Its purpose is to discover things called "facts," which would indicate that a crime has been committed. "Facts" can be very helpful to someone who is trying to convine the government to charge someone with a crime. Believe it or not, some Courts have even gone so far as to actually REQUIRE facts before allowing a person to be arrested and charged. Yes, you read that correctly--some judges require that accusations of criminal conduct be supported by "facts."

I've also heard rumors that some "rogue" members of the law enforcement community get all irritated when people call them and make accusations of criminal activity, but don't provide "facts" to substantiate the allegations. It's also been reported that these same officials sometimes refer to such persons derisively as "nuts" or "kooks."

So dammit, I'm with ya buddy. Let's start putting those facts together. It's gonna be expensive and time-consuming, but with my time (pro bono, of course) and your money, we'll throw these moneychangers out of the temple of justice.

Anonymous said...

Ah don't need facts if they swear to an affidavit here in the Grand Ole' State of MS. They will arrest you. Guaranteed.

Anonymous said...

2:12 nice sarcasm but I'm not impressed. I happen to know that more than a few non-fictionalized Gunnies died because they hoped and wanted to believe that we will try to live up to our Nation's ideals. They weren't naive Pollyannas either, they GOT that that's our best shot and to do otherwise dooms us to failure.

They actually " got" that there's are principles more important than your self-interest. Failure or embarrassment or inconvenience or loss of money and social prestige aren't likely to impress those who gave up their life for you.

And, if you're an lawyer, you know damn well that there are standards IN PLACE that are NEVER exercised.

I realize you'll lose some money since the hours you might spend over time are billable, but you aren't required to prove a case. You can try making a record of suspicious activity. You can raise questions. You can position yourself to DO rather than complain.

You can run against those who are elected or work hard for those running against them. You can work your way into positions of responsibility within the bar.

You can take part in Martindale Hubbell assessments.

You can tout those who are doing " the right thing".

Such sacrifices won't rise anywhere to the level made by any Gunny I've ever known and require a helluva lot less courage.

And, yeah, I practice what I preach and sleep really, really well but am not the most popular person in town!

As one of the heroes I've known said, "you are judged by who your enemies are , not just who your friends are!"

Anonymous said...

OK Curt, you are a lawyer with Richard " one call that's all" Schwartz .

So, your firm can spare the change. Put the bucks into cleaning up the system rather than advertising.

Anonymous said...

So what's going on with the case in doctor's estate in Rankin Co.? Is the JPD going to have to produce the logs, recordings, drawings, etc. or not? What's the holdup?

Curt Crowley said...


Wrong idiot. I don't work for Mr. Schwartz.

I did formerly work at that firm, but not anymore.

You could have made one call and verified that.

Anonymous said...

Same kind of practice, Curt?

Anonymous said...

Curt, respect your background. I believe your claims as a former police officer and your vigilant defense. The 4:51pm comment is throw up. Poor form. I will say, champerty is alive and well. Wish I had you when it happened to me.

Anonymous said...

Can we table the argument about lawyers, ethics, etc. and get back to the subject of King's article? What I want to know is what the heck is going on with the subpoenas issued the JPD? Do they have to have a hearing before the judge can rule?

Anonymous said...

Who said "It's 95% of the lawyers who give the rest a bad name?" :-)

Anonymous said...

Curt, what a professional response. You could be turning away potential clients, idiot.

Curt Crowley said...

8/19@ 9:11pm:

"Do they have to have a hearing before the judge can rule?"

In state court, a hearing is usually held before the judge will rule on a motion. One of the parties will have to contact the court to set the hearing. The judge will either rule from the bench after hearing from the parties, or will take the motion under advisement and issue a written ruling on a later date.

Theoretically, under the rules, the judge could go ahead and rule on the motion without a hearing, based upon the pleadings submitted by the parties. However, this very rarely happens in state court (I specify state court because it's exactly the opposite in federal court).

I don't handle civil cases anymore, so I don't know whether Judge Fairly is one of the few judges who will rule without a hearing.

Anonymous said...

I believe that part of your law school training is to POSTPONE, POSTPONE, POSTPONE. It doesn't matter if you are filing motions that the Judge will rule against. It is all about billable hours not the plaintiffs and whether or not you are covering up guilt. There are many firms, LARGE FIRMS (W, E is one) who make it a practice to bill and bill their clients when they could have settled. And, if you file a bar complaint, the GOB inside the Miss Bar hardly ever sanction those big firms. So what is the use.

So, when they lie, you file a complaint, they have more ties to the panel at Bar than you, you loose more than one way. You can prove they lied but the BAR is as bad as the attorney's fit protects.

Justice isn't served only the BIG FIRMS billing dept.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS