Governor Phil Bryant asked the federal government to issue a federal fisheries disaster declaration for Mississippi. The Governor argued the second opening of the Bonnet Carre spillway will wipe out the harvest of oysters, shrimp, and crabs on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. The letter is posted below.
Friday, June 7, 2019
Governor Requests Disaster Relief for Coast
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
29 comments:
Little late to the dance Phil, this has been going on for months and all of a sudden you give a care. We were down there a week ago, and my charter boat friends are hurting because the fish have left and so have the shrimp. The oyster reefs are gone again.
Last line:
"Thank you for your consideration and this request."
Governor, you need a new writer/proof-reader.
That should be "Thank you for your consideration OF this request."
I spent last week on the coast. The water was nasty all the way to Horn Island. Normally this time of year we catch lots of trout in the marsh, it is all bass and catfish. Let the river change course or split. Save the coast from the devil know as the Corp of Engineers.
Right, it is Bryant's fault. The harpy never fails.
I reckon Feel is waiting on Tater to write another tepid letter regarding the disaster in the Mississippi Delta. Tater concluded his last letter to the feds with, "Please advise if I can help". What a nothing-burger!
So, suddenly oysters are more important than almost a million flooded acres of homes and businesses under water in the south delta?
No, but the seafood industry and the farming industry are both suffering. The “delta” was all forest that slowed the river and collected sediment until it hit the sea. It was chopped down and the levy system was made to protect the land from natural flooding. The Bonnett Carre spillway was a man made pressure relief valve that allows the river to flow into a brackish estuary and kill it. Flooding in the delta makes the crops better in subsequent years due to nutrient input, flooding into the MS sound kills the oysters, shrimp, and natural spawning habitat for fish. It is not even a comparison. We could pay farmers not to plant and/or make a Hell of a lot more WRP land that could be used for hunting and recreation, you can’t make oyster reefs overnight.
Because advanced planning and environmental regulation is what both the Trump and Bryant administrations live for.
And now all of a sudden those tree huggers who have been promoting we allow more square miles to become wet lands seem to make sense. Imagine that.
Phil is going to be tepid so as to not offend Prince Trump. He is still hoping for an appointment of any sort. He has certainly paid his dues
and if he had his way, the national economy would suffer a huge blow. New Orleans and Baton Rouge would be screwed. There are quite a few refineries and plants that depend on the Mississippi River as a source of water.
Salt water would fill in between Baton Rouge and Natchez as a nice section of river is below sea level.
Y'all looking for New Jersey to recuse y'all again.
Nonsense, 6:25. He would already be a US Senator if he wanted to go to Washington.
They need to consider relieving some pressure at the Old River flood control structure where the red becomes the Afatchalaya up near woodville
Bill, he could have appointed himself but of course that would be political suicide. He didn’t want his legacy to be a 2 year and out senator. He has been kissing Trumps ass for 3 years in hopes of any appointment. You don’t think he is simply that desperate for Trumps affection do you?.
Man vs Mother Nature...we all know how that usually ends.
Where the hell is Jam Hood, Houston, Ms.? He should have been in federal court getting a temporary restraining order. Fire him.
Governor Bonehead, we don’t want a disaster declaration. We want the disaster prevented.
Spineless bums afraid of the Delta Council, developers and rich Jackson donors.Quit filling in floodplains and sending bad decisions downstream on us. Same with dumb ideas like One Lake, Yazoo backwater, and other stupid development decisions.
The flood may not be caused by humans, but the greedy developers and bumbling bureaucrats at the Corps are turning into a man-made disaster.
Time for a clean sweep in the election. Send them all back home. That is the swamp that should be drained!
more federal welfare requested for mississippi. we are freeloaders. keep big government out of here.
5:21, while your Googling ability almost paid off, you fail to realize that this is not normal 'flooding' in the Delta. In fact there IS no normal flooding. We have had THREE one-hundred-year floods in the current eleven year period. That is not normal replenishing of land and soil resources.
This is the most drastic situation since 1927. Your notion of paying farmers not to plant is nonsense and shows your utter lack of knowledge. Take a Sunday drive from Vicksburg up past Cary on 61 and tell us that what you're seeing is 'farmers waiting to plant'. Never mind the homes, businesses, shops, hangars and equipment that are under water for the first and longest time in a hundred years. Turn your cap back around and take a seat on the stool.
With Thad gone and Bennie not likely to promote bailing out any Republicans, Phil shouldn't expect a phone call and check relative to these disasters. The farmers likely have insurance and will get tariff assistance, but all those that supply the farmers are screwed.
7:59AM wrote, "In fact there IS no normal flooding [in the _Delta_]..."
Yeah, it was given the name "the _Delta_" just to confuse folks. The myriad problems facing landowners and government entities along much of the length of the Mississippi River, as well as the mouth and beyond, is due entirely to people who have and continue to have delusions about their own abilities and think they can gain complete control over a river so powerful an entire continent cannot really "control" it. Those that want to pay their money and take their chances should be allowed to do so, but they shouldn't get one penny of taxpayer funds when their choice turns out to be a poor one.
ms has all of a 40 mile coastline . game and fish could handle that.if the legislature got rid of the department of marine resources the state would have money for 'disaster relief'. stinking administrate agencies. they exist solely for politicians to hand out high paying do nothing jobs. just how many millions di that director of MR and his pretty boy son steal a couple of years ago?
at 7:59 AM 100 year floods will no longer be a benchmark in the future. We will see extreme floods almost annually because of climate change.
We will see extreme floods almost annually because of climate change.
ROFLMAO
OMG, I’m actually dumber after reading these comments. Scary, but these commenters vote.
Why are we still mentioning Phil Bryant? He's been an ineffective Toad for most of his tenure. He's gotten a few international flights in during the past two years and managed to make a handful of appointments. His only role now is appointment making and finishing his 'pardon list'. Otherwise, as for the past six years, he's been useless.
Now, as the rubber band on his toy plane is about to unwind, we're forced to listen to him whine about why Tater should succeed him. What nonsense.
We'll all be better off if we can avoid Tater, unseat Cindy and forget Phil.
https://www.facebook.com/FriendsMissRiv/videos/10154443242206083/
This is the most interesting video you will see on this subject. Only seconds in length, but an amazing presentation.
“We'll all be better off if we can avoid Tater, unseat Cindy and forget Phil.”
Quoted for truth.
Kingfish again jumps into the conversation. But this time he suggests that the Mississippi River flows north, to Natchez, taking salt water with it. Oysters and Red Fish soon to be had in Greenville's Lake Ferguson. Holy Shit.
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