Saturday Night Live replayed the Presidential debate last night:
Sunday, October 23, 2016
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
19 comments:
Trump is not a good debater. It is hard to say if Hilary is. She has so much baggage - idiot policies, all sorts of lying and lawbreaking. No one could win a debate with the baggage she has to carry.
Trump slogged thru every primary debate by insulting people and running out the clock. Then when there were only 3 people on stage and he could not run out the clock, he refused to show up. Of course Cruz would have killed him and he knew it. Somehow the voters did not punish him for this.
This skit shows the liberal bias. I don't mind that they make fun of Trump. He deserves it. But look how soft they were on her. There were great jokes just crying out ('The Russians made me do it.'; 'Protecting toddlers', etc.) but these hit too close to home for NBC so they don't use them. Unfortunately, many of our young people won't watch the actual debate but will watch this instead.
Trump just doesn't think well on his feet. Or lying down, either. Maybe sitting on the can.
If he was elected the rest of the world would be hiding under the bed. People want change, though, so let's give this orange monkey a hand-grenade and cut him loose, right? I mean, what do we have to lose?
Trump is only 3 points ahead in Mississippi which gives you a preview of what election night will look like. I am expecting Trump to get only a little over 100 electoral votes at this point.
Current politicians have made a living off the backs of us and have done very well I might say. Some became very very wealthy and powerful. They have made an elite society fir themselves. Don't think so? Look at the Clintons. Need I say more?
Do you actually want this woman in charge? You won't have to worry about a legitimate war. our children and our grandchildren will be fighting some type of war that will benefit only the Clintons. Border? What border. If all of you employers would not hire the hispanics then we wouldn't have the issue of them displacing American workers. And you unemployed don't need to give up and quit looking for work. Try working at anything. That's better than not working at all.
Right, and Gary Johnson is polling 25%! LMAO
If you really go back and look at what happened during the primary the media picked trump. They Held all of their cards till the last minute for the general election then are spewing nonsense left and right until all you have is a grey picture. As a patriot I feel cheated. Cheated that Bernie sanders who I believe won the democrat primary did not get his chance even though I am on the other end of the spectrum. Cheated that Trey Gowdy, Herman Cain, Ted Cruz, Ron/Rand Paul, voices of reason and sound arguement and policy were drowned out by what some globalist thought up in a basement. What is best for America right now? Is it a person who is so tightly woven in Middle East politics with Saudi Arabia or governs by any means necessary, using the word "y'all" to get elected in Arkansas. The person who claims feminism is strong but yet can't shed a 240 pound sexual deviant that does not know the concept of truth, appropriate times to bite your lip, or what the word marriage means. The issues I really can't forgive the clintons for are the treatment of deployed military(generals requested tanks in Africa Mogadishu / Blackhawk down/ UN rescues American troops fiasco. And the fact that our energy future was sold down the road to Russia to her financial gain( Uranium One). It has been time for the clintons to step aside.
Next comes an affluent diarrhea mouth who says anything and apologizes later. He spews rhetoric that is in direct contention to what this country is founded on. People come here for more freedom. Not walls that hold them in or out. It is not a prison or a citadel. Mind you immigration is broken but that sorry sack of nothing in the whitehouse right now should have done something to fix it in 8 years. Back to mr trumpet, this petty piece of work. Here I usually imagine Chevy chase doing his rant during Christmas vacation and the receiver of this diatribe is trump. But let us remember it was Obama at the correspondence dinner that started all this fuc$&$$ mess. He went on 2 minute rant on Donald and pissed him off to no end. He could not leave it at a simple joke about Donald's hair. No you made him so mad he ran for president. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where Jerry returns a jacket with a crest on it for spite. The reason I keep bringing up comedies is because his policy and rhetoric are laughable not one concrete tax plan. No talk of cutting spending always talking about what other people are going to do for him while he is president, why not move aside and let that person run for president.
Last but not least Ross Perot junior, because we have a 2 party system you basically signed the country over to either party if you lean a certain way i.e. Nader.
Tired of all this nonsense. I am off to watch Charlie Wilson's War and The Big Short on Netflix. If any candidate has sound advice/policy on either of these topics, that is who i am voting for.
10:31 if you are going to watch a movie, watch 'Wag the Dog' 1997.
The Democrats have.
As someone who doesn't like either candidate, I thought SNL was funny .
Clinton didn't come off unscathed.
But, face it, Trump has given them more comedic material.
Besides, one of the two is too thin skinned to have anyone poke fun at them so that one will always be an easier target.
If you watched the rest of the show, you might have found the Black Jeopardy skit funny. Or maybe not, since it showed how much those at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder have in common in their points of view.
But, maybe all of you should watch less television and read more non-fiction written by those without a biased point of view. For all these conspiracies you seem to believe to " work" there can't be any honest people in any government institutions and humans have to be really, really good at keeping secrets.
Here's a challenge...pull up the federal spending and debt records. Copy the years and then look to see who was in control of government for those years and what their policies were. Then pull up the stats on the middle class.
Misery Index 6:23. That is a pretty good Evaluation of job performance.
But, maybe all of you should watch less television and read more non-fiction written by those without a biased point of view.
There you go again. That plays real well over at the JFP.
Some people actually think their vote counts and the people will elect the president. Why do we continue to let these morons vote?
@ October 23, 2016 at 2:19 PM
"Trump is not a good debater. It is hard to say if Hilary is. She has so much baggage - idiot policies, all sorts of lying and lawbreaking."
Look - whether or not you like the woman is one thing, but to say she's bad debater because you disagree with her opinion on policy or your emotional feelings, is not really judging her ability debate or make a point?
The woman was a trial attorney - who has argued hundreds of cases before jurors and has actually won many of them. That means she has the ability to make her point and sway a group of people her way.
Be honest with yourself and just say you don't like her.
11:19, she is considered a bad debater because she cannot answer a single question. She does not stay on the subject. Some people are easily confused and easily distracted. Look, there goes a squirrel.
Trump tweeted that SNL should be cancelled, and you guys think SNL is out of line by capitalizing on him turning every "presidential" debate into a circus? What did you expect?
By the way, these line from the skit perfectly sums up how the comments on here are going:
Trump: "Every morning I turn on the news to see the media making me look so bad."
Chris Wallace: "And how are we doing that."
Trump: "By taking everything I say, and everything I do, and putting it on television."
Some people just want special treatment. . .
11:19 You missed the point. She is in the same position as person who is trying to win the debate over is the earth flat or round, and she has drawn the short straw and is trying to prove the earth is flat. She got smoked in the last debate, but I did NOT say that it was because is is a bad debater. You can look at her policies, her honesty, her unlawfulness - no one could win a debate given all the handicaps that she has.
The woman was a trial attorney - who has argued hundreds of cases before jurors and has actually won many of them.
That is a mighty stretch and I seriously doubt you have a link to support the "argued hundreds of cases before jurors" puffery. Funny you failed to mention that she failed the DC bar exam.
Hillary can't answer hard hitting questions because anything she says might incriminate her. Trump doesn't give a hoot--mob style.
I'm rolling my eyes in disbelief.
Part of being a good debater is not taking the bait.
I do think HRC is missing opportunities to get rid of some of the controversies with sarcasm or humor.
She could have said, " I should have been willing to admit that as wonky as I am, like most grandmothers, I should have asked my children and IT people how to handle my emails, not former Secretaries of State" and I did delete all those emails from Trump University as well as every retail store in the Nation".
On Benghazi, she should have said, " I lost friends, Donald didn't know any of these people. I did. I wish I had gotten the information I needed when I needed it and all the information I had was accurate. There are too often too many layers in our government between the people on the ground and the top. We need to make that better and no one knows that better than I do."
And, generally, " Donald, I have been in politics for 30 years and so I know that a head of any government entity is not a CEO and can't just say, " Your fired" or refuse to pay those who you don't think are doing a good job."
And, last but not least, " Donald, Ivana wanted to believe you were faithful because she loved you, until she had to face the truth and even then, didn't she hope you both could save your marriage?"
A person is not considered to be a good debater if the debate is about horses and they continue to debate about hummingbirds.
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