The Madison Police Department issued the following press release and mug shots.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
43 comments:
Keep them PWT hoods in Rankin..
39110 is going round the bowl and down the hole... just wait until Costco arrives. Pop some more popcorn...
9:09 There's a Costco going up in 39110? So close to the one going up in 39157? Who knew they were so optimistic about the profitability of this region that they would invest their own money to open two stores so close together?
Or are you just an anonymous internet blowhard who doesn't know jack about geography but flaps your gums anyway?
@10:12. Madison... Ridgeland... is there really a difference. It's splitting hairs
These hoodrats were from Niknar. They also invade the suburbs from Jacktown. They got their asses CAUGHT in Madison. Wait til Danks sees them.
Whoa - so where is this 2 Costco's rumor coming from?
I know about the one going up by Renaissance, but why would the County Supervisor's in Madison County let two come?
10:20 - big difference is that Madison doesn't share a border with Jackson. Ridgeland is supposed to be the DMZ...
@ 10:20 That like saying 39211 and 39206 are the same...ehh its still Jackson, splitting hairs I guess.
Quit leaving your firearms in your vehicles. Morons.
Madison folks in the zest to flee the crime scene over paid for their houses....leaving them "house poor" by and large and when compared to long established paid for homes in jackson and even ridgeland.
As a result Madison has less discretionary income to spend on luxury items.
This is seen best in the lack of high end restaurants in Madison. The restaurants which do operate in Madison at the higher end have reduced their offerings and scaled back menus. One even moved closer to Jackson although other factors besides direction played a role.
That's said to tell you..no Costco is coming to Madison and Ridgeland at the same time.
What did happen is Cabellas was absorbed by Bass Pro second Bass pro will not be in Ridgeland....though some large retailer is slated to move in....along with a Costco.
Unless Sheldon prevails for the landowners on his spot zoning theory and stops this....this area is going to be as congested 55 at County Line at Xmas...year around.
STOP THE THUGS FROM JACKSON FROM ROBBING OUR ... wait, white guys from Brandon?????
8:43 - agree! If you're too stupid to secure your firearms properly, maybe you shouldn't have one (oh wait, you don't have it anymore because it got stolen.....) I think if it's proven that you can't be responsible enough to secure your firearm, you should be held liable for any crime committed with it.
Is 9:00 (who is on the wifi at McDonald's in Flowood) on some sort of vain and impossible mission to show that people who live in Madison can't afford to eat out? Balderdash.
12:01 - the wifi is down, just like the ice cream machine...
Property values in NEJackson are cratering 9:00. Does that mean that buyers are underpaying?
@ April 17, 2017 at 9:00 AM
Good point
But the part that is killing me is that our neighboring cities are competing against each other, letting the same companies relocate to their respective areas.
In other words - if Brandon, Madison, and Ridgeland have an Applebee's - go open something else, something different???
Jackson thought about this when they opened Fuddruckers and Luby's
Now Pearl is possibly opening a Steak & Shake - that's something no one else has.
The metro needs complimentary development - not competitive. Eliminate the urban sprawl, maintain and sustain positive growth.
1:20 has decoded Jackson's economic development plan! Attract a restaurant whose name is purposefully mispronounced as a joke and put it right next to another that is associated with a mass shooting, and put them in one of the worst areas of the city - what could possibly go wrong?? I suppose my family and I can eat in shifts so we can stand watch over the car to make sure it isn't stolen or burglarized (look out for my wife, she's a good shot).
No thanks Jackson - I'll enjoy the peace and quiet of a meal prepared on my backyard grill.
April 17, 2017 at 9:36 AM: Oh, so YOU'RE saying it's the gun owners' fault, and not the thieves' fault the firearms got stolen.....got it. Thanks, I've had it backwards all this time.
3:29, owning a firearm is a huge responsibility, one that I take very seriously...others, no so much. And yes - it is the owners' fault that their firearms were stolen from their vehicles, a firearm is not something you just leave in your car like a pair of sunglasses or a Yeti mug.
If you're not smart enough to comprehend the idea that owning a gun carries a lot of responsibility, maybe you should turn yours in.
4:13....So, Mr. Expert, you always put your gun in your pants when you enter the church, city hall, the county tag office, the movie theater, a restaurant, the court house, the strip mall in Flowood, the high school football game, the concert at Thalia Mara, the ball game over in Pearl, Bass Pro, Home Depot, the soccer field, go jogging and take the boat for a spin? GOTCHA! Thanks for the tip.
Fantastic example of departments working together. Owning a firearm, a nice car or a credit card (with a high limit) that is stolen does not make the victim a criminal - it makes them a target. A crime of "opportunity" is still a crime.
Hey 6:06, actually yes, I'm armed all the time - my agency requires it. Instead of making excuses for irresponsible behavior, maybe you should encourage folks to look into secure and responsible storage for their vehicles (like a console vault) when they have to leave their firearms in their cars in order to comply with state carry laws.
Or maybe folks could just lock their cars, whatcha think?
I Agree with 4:13, and 6:51 is just being a tool. The chances of getting your property stolen decrease pretty significantly if: 1. You lock it up; and 2. If you don't make it available to a thief. I can almost guarantee that if those cars would've been locked those yoots would've moved on to easier prey...they probably jiggled a couple hundred car door handles that night.
7:25 here - I meant to say that 6:06 was being a tool, not 6:51.
Congratulations tool (and I don't mean the awesome alternative metal band either).
7:00 pm
You are not armed "all the time" due to agency requirements.
That's simply not true.
You do not drink alcohol and carry your weapon.
You do not carry your weapon to church.
If you do either....I insist you advise all here of your identity so we can prepare and possibly see that you lose your job.
Dear 9:16, You are correct, I don't drink alcohol and carry my weapon because I don't drink (I never really had a taste for it), and my Pastor likes the fact that there are a few well-trained, armed folks in his congregation (especially considering where my church is located).
By reading your post, it is easy to see that you know nothing of what you speak and should be thankful that there are folks like me around. I'm sure you have all kinds of influence here in Mississippi, but the folks I work for generally don't give a shit about what busybodies like you have to say, about anything.
Thank you 7:25/8:11 - I've been called many things, "tool" was a new one - I appreciate the clarification. Not sure if you have a child, but at some point you're going to leave them under the supervision of others - or heaven forbid, send them on a date. Trespassing is against the law, even when "giggling".... handles.
Statistics clearly show that pickup trucks are likely targets of thugs who bust out windows to gain entry to a vehicle and rifle around for a pistol. I've read there is an assumption that a truck will have a pistol inside. Regardless of locking the door. 99% of us can't and don't take their gun with them everywhere they go for various reasons, legal ones being chief among them.
The prissy-pointed head person who brags of being 'the law' and being able to be armed at all times everywhere is not the norm. In more ways than one. He even goes to church and doesn't drink. Talk about a TOOL!
Loss of a four hundred dollar pistol is the least of your concerns when somebody busts out your window and tears up the inside of your vehicle.
5:28 - What statistics? Source please.
Here ya go, 8:07. Take your pick. Or read them all.
https://www.google.com/#q=are+pickups+targets+for+gun+thieves?
These are anecdotal examples, those of us who actually completed high school would like to see the statistics mentioned by the poster at 5:28 this morning. 5:28, these articles mention cases where individuals "broke into" unlocked vehicles and used design flaws to gain entry into certain types of vehicles, not "bust(ing) out a window(s)" to "rifle" around (nice play on words).
And if I'm a tool for going to church and not drinking, well...I suppose there are worse things. Thanks for lowering the bar of logical thought for us all.
9:39, you should change your name to Trucks, Guns and Google! What is 9:16 preparing for?
10:03
I insist you tell us who you are and what agency demands that you carry your weapon at all times.
I also insist for my own safety to know what church you attend so I can know how to proceed.
Well? We're waiting.
10:23 - I am concerned for your safety and I insist that you report to the nearest mental health facility for an evaluation. It appears that either your aluminum foil hat has fallen off or is in need of repair. It's obvious that this person is having a little fun with you - kudos KF, this has been one of the most entertaining threads EVAH!
Wow, this string has devolved quickly, what's next "cash me ousside, how bou dah?" These two just need to get it over with and have a trooper/trucker-style meetup!
Having fun?
Lying about fictitious agencies and being armed in church?
Fun?
He's a liar.
That's not fun.
1:07 needs to go to her safe space, have a beer and reacquaint herself with reality.
Hey 1:07, 10:23, 5:28, 9:16 and 6:06 (hope I didn't miss anyone) - this is the Internet and you are getting spun up about anonymous posts, surely you have better things to do with your time (or maybe not from what I see here).
Signed,
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Jason Bourne
HOLY SMOKES! Miss a day, miss a lot on JJ, you all have been busy!
This is the gun-toting, non-drinking tool.
Let me clear a few things up. You actually are allowed to carry your weapon in a church if there is an established security plan in place, and you have the appropriate permission from church leadership (See Mississippi House Bill 786, also known as the Mississippi Church Protection Act). There are many churches in the Metro that have enhanced their security posture, especially after the shooting in Charleston, SC; so the very vocal poster's Pastor must not trust him (her), or you don't go often enough - not judging, just sayin'. And NONE of you are entitled to know who I work for; heck there are some days I don't know who I work for.
My TDY is up in a few months so I guess I'll slide out of town, just like I slid in - mostly unnoticed. It's been a nice year and I'll miss the colorful banter here, and I may even check in from time to time just to get my fix.
11:34, 1:45 and 2:00 - those comments are GOLD - keep it up!
Let the name-calling and good riddances ensue, I've heard worse, from worse. Thanks for your hospitality, and for keeping me entertained!
Anecdotal my ass! If you think pickup trucks are NOT targets for breaking-and-entry and are not convinced by the articles posted in the link, stay in denial and be sure to wrap your .22 in a pair of pink draws under the seat. Who wants to break into your '04 Datsun anyway?
One of you cowboys axed for evidence to back up the claim that trucks are likely targets for thugs looking for handguns. Evidence was provided. You didn't like the evidence (although the link contained thirty articles) so you bitch and wallow and fall back on your church attendance and abstinence from hard liquor. You really ARE a special kind of tool, aren't you?
Oh, but wait, there's more: That masked man with the strap-on was the law. And his white stallion just reared up and took him out of town just like it brought him into town awhile back. And that thin brown stain on the back of his white britches was hardly noticed, except when he knelt in church.
Dang, a couple of verbose blow-hards have taken over JJ...
Speaking of drankin' 6:13, needs to lay off the sauce, and I thought strap-ons were illegal here, although I haven't heard of a dildo shop raid in a while.
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