Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Robert St. John: Wonderland

Everyone has a personal wonderland. When my brother visits a hardware store, a garden center, or a tackle shop he has hit peak existence as those places are his wonderland. When my wife is in an antique store it’s her little slice of heaven. Years ago, my mother loved art galleries and art supply stores. My friend Anthony’s wonderland is Disneyland (though that seems like cheating). For me it’s restaurant trade shows, and restaurant supply showrooms and stores.

A few weeks ago, I was in New Orleans and dropped by the Restaurant Depot to pick up a couple of items we needed at the bakery. For those who aren’t familiar with Restaurant Depot, just think Sam’s Club or Costco with wholesale prices— equipment, small wares, supplies, and a lot of food— exclusively for restaurateurs. My supposed 15 minute visit to shop for a couple of items turned into a two-hour browsing and purchasing session. Welcome to my Wonderland.

When I was a little kid, I could spend an hour on the small toy aisle in the Ben Franklin Five and Dime store. It probably consisted of three shelves and 12 linear feet. That was my five-year-old wonderland. Any type of restaurant supply store that has a showroom is going to grab my attention for several hours these days, and the National Restaurant Association trade show that I attend every year in Chicago captures my attention and sparks my imagination for several days.

I got to the Restaurant Depot that morning just after it opened and dozens of small independent restaurant operators from across the city were scampering through the aisles buying groceries and small wares to get them through the Sunday brunch/lunch service. It took me back to the early days when I was in the kitchen full time, and we were a struggling upstart restaurant doing everything we could to survive. It was 1987 and I was working 90 hours a week, living in a one-room apartment above a garage, paying myself $250.00 a week and loving every minute of it. Those are still some of the fondest days of my career

As I passed the independents who were shopping for that day’s supplies it took me back to simpler times. Don’t get me wrong. I love where I am today. The volume we do wouldn’t allow anyone to go to the grocery store with any frequency anymore, and I’m grateful for that. Very grateful. But I also understand that— in those early days— I was the guy walking around the grocery store picking up supplemental products to make it through lunch to get to this point. I had to be that guy. Truthfully, I loved being that guy.

There’s joy in building a business and growing it from an idea, concept, simple thought, or a notion sketched on a cocktail napkin. The process of turning those thoughts and ideas into an actual brick-and-mortar concepts is my dream job. It’s what I have always done. It’s what I still do. I have a drawer full of notebooks and cocktail napkins with current, former, and future restaurants mapped out on them. It’s the most satisfying and gratifying part of my job.

 

Walking the aisles of the Restaurant Depot I wanted to pull every one of those restaurateurs aside— many of whom looked frustrated and stressed— and tell them, “These are the ‘good ‘ol days.’ You may not be able to see it now, but this was your dream and it’s come true. This is what you fought for. This what you saved money to do. You are doing it. You are living it. Trust me, one day you’re going to look back on the times you were just getting started— and were having to go to the store to buy your groceries for the day because you didn’t have enough money in the bank to put together a large order with one of the mainline suppliers— and remember them fondly. Just hang in there. It’s tough, but if it was easy everyone would do it, and everyone can’t do it. It’s the restaurant business. We have one of the highest mortality rates of all businesses. 80% of all independent restaurants close after the third year. But you’re still here. You’re doing it. Just keep following your passion. Do what it takes— whatever it takes— to make your restaurant successful. Give it all you’ve got. Change when you need to change, never stand still, and follow your passion because success always follows passion. Get a little bit better every day, and when you take a few steps backward just wake up the next day and keep pressing forward. Don’t worry about the criticism. You’ll never be criticized by someone doing more than you. You’ll only be criticized by someone doing less. Keep moving ever onward.”

But I didn’t pull anyone aside and say that. I wanted to, but I didn’t, because that would be weird and creepy, and most young restaurateurs can’t see the forest for the trees at this stage anyway. It’s not until one comes out on the other side of those early days that they realize how blessed they were to be able to start something from scratch and build it into a viable business that is creating jobs and opportunities for others.

It's not brain surgery. I’ve learned if you put your nose to the grindstone, work hard, and dedicate yourself to a mission of quality and consistency great things happen. Will there be problems? Definitely. Almost daily. But business is problems. A successful business is problems well handled. If you can’t handle problems, it’s time to get out of business.

It’s not always a success. I’ve had failures. Plenty of them. But I’ve learned from every one of them. The expensive mistakes are the ones I’ve learned most from and have rarely repeated. I don’t consider myself a winner. I’m just a loser who’s never given up. Occasionally, you hit it on something and if you can keep a positive cashflow then everything works out and the world spins in greased grooves for a while.

If you are a restaurateur early in your career, keep your head down and keep moving forward. Treat people well and always try to do the right thing in every situation, whether it be life or business. Prioritize your spiritual self and your family before your business, but when it’s needed, hunker down, and do what it takes to make it through the challenging times. You’ve got this. And if you see me, wide-eyed and smiling while walking around a restaurant show, a wholesale warehouse. or a showroom, pull me aside. Let’s talk shop. You’ll be able to teach me something, too. After 42 years in this business, I’m learning new things every day.

Onward.

Grilled and Chilled Asparagus with Dill Mayonnaise

For the asparagus

2 lbs           Asparagus, fresh

3 Tbl                   Olive oil

2 tsp                    Kosher Salt

1 tsp           Black Pepper, freshly ground

Toss the asparagus with olive oil, salt and pepper. Arrange the asparagus on a medium-heat grill and cook for 5-7 minutes. Turn the asparagus often to prevent burning.

Remove from the grill and cool.

Note: Asparagus can be baked in an oven set to “broil.” Place on a cookie sheet, roll in olive oil, sprinkle with salt, and broil for five minutes or until al dente.

 

Dill Mayonnaise

 2                Egg Yolks

1 tsp           Salt

1 /2 tsp       Dijon Mustard

1 1 /2 tsp    Lemon Juice, freshly squeezed

1 tsp           White Vinegar

1 cup                   Canola Oil

1/4 cup       Fresh Dill, chopped

In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, salt, and mustard. When mixture becomes light in color, add lemon juice. Blend.

Drizzle oil slowly into the yolk mixture, whisking constantly. After adding half of the oil, stir in vinegar. Continue whisking and add remaining oil. Add fresh dill.

The mayonnaise may be held refrigerated for one week. To serve, arrange the chilled asparagus on a serving platter. Serve the mayonnaise on the side for dipping.

Yield: 6-8 servings


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.