Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Shad Fires Back at Critics

 State Auditor Shad White authored this column. 

If you looked online last week, you’d probably see me being called “the worst of society,” an “anti-intellectual,” and a “white supremacist.” 

What caused the big stir? My team and I published a report saying the state should spend taxpayer money on the college majors that actually advance Mississippi’s economy and stop spending taxpayer money on the degrees that don’t. 

That’s it. 

But that idea set off a firestorm on social media. Aside from the foolishness online, though, liberal columnist Bill Crawford took the prize for the most confusing interpretation of our analysis. Bill claimed that Shad White “foolishly wants government to tell university students what they can and cannot major in.” 

That’s right, folks. I will personally come to your house and tell your child what they can study. You’re welcome.

The truth, of course, is that I simply called for tax money to be used on college degrees that fit Mississippi’s economy. The reason should be obvious: majors that prepare students for a job here make it more likely the student might stay here. More than 60% of anthropology majors, for instance, leave Mississippi, because there simply aren’t many Mississippi anthropology jobs. Nurses, on the other hand, tend to stay and make good money. And pay taxes. And contribute back to the community. These kinds of majors—which include plenty of humanities and arts programs—are where we should be investing tax dollars. 

No one is going to tell Bill he can’t major in gender studies. You want to spend your tuition dollars learning there are 58 genders? Have at it. I’m not arguing for programs to be cancelled. Most public universities only receive a portion of their budget from taxpayers, so colleges can use their privately raised funds on gender studies programs if they like. I’m saying a taxpaying plumber shouldn’t have to pay for Bill’s deep exploration of “gender and sexuality” as a part of the “queer studies” required curriculum (taken from a Mississippi gender studies program website). 

I made these arguments plain as day in a piece I wrote for The Wall Street Journal. But watching Bill Crawford decipher plain statements is like watching President Biden squint at a teleprompter: you start to wonder if the fella can still read.

Or it’s par for the course for liberals these days. They tend to take a reasonable argument made by a conservative and then pretend the conservative said something they did not. You’re pro-life, Mr. Shad? Sounds like you want to walk into every woman’s bathroom and take her birth control away. You want to cut waste from government, Mr. White? You probably want to cut my grandmother’s favorite program and then push her off a cliff. Shad, you think there should be tougher sentences for violent criminals? Well, you’re a racist who just wants to lock up every young man with a dime bag.

Bill also ignored an important point my team made: students need to think hard about what they’re majoring in. Shad is not going to come to your dorm room and slap the German literature book out of your hand. But you may want to consider how many jobs there are in German literature before you take out debt to pay for that degree. Student debt in the U.S. has doubled in the last 20 years in part because people are leaving universities with some degrees that don’t prepare them to repay the loan. Parents should talk to their children about whether their degree will be worth it. And taxpayers should think about whether the degree will be worth it, too, before they help finance it.

As your State Auditor, I have a responsibility to tell you how your money—especially when it’s hundreds of millions of dollars, as with higher ed—is being spent. And I will always point out when we don’t get much of a return on our investment. Right now, you’re pouring money into degree programs taught by experts in urban stand-up comedy, courses that focus on big topics like “television, fast food, fashion, theme parks, advertising, malls,” and detailed examinations of “sexuality, the body and hip-hop.” Sound worth it?


75 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is he going to run for Governor in 4 years. I am a conservitive but college is place for learning not job preparation. I have an idea instead of not funding gender studies take all of the majors like nursing, accounting, business etc and seperate them from the universities and turn the universities back to a place to study the liberal arts. It's like Belhaven saying lets stop funding the Biblical Studies degree because those preachers won't add much to the economy. It was basically a political statement to start preparing himself to assume the role of Tate Reeves. He is really annoying.

Anonymous said...

Shad needs to ask someone what his job description is and what he should focus on. What a simpleton.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:43

College is 100 PERCENT about job preparation. You need a degree (in many cases) to get a good job. It would be rare to find anyone on this earth who wanted to spend 30, 40, 50 grand on tuition to learn about Geoffrey Chaucer.

Anonymous said...

He poked a big bear, and someone should have stopped him before he did it.

Anonymous said...

@950 College is about learning how to think trade schools prepare you for a job. Move the trades such as nursing business agriculture turf management, to a trade school. They don't belong in a university.

Anonymous said...

I read books, in the evening, at my house, for pleasure because I want to learn. I went to college to get a degree to prepare me for a job.

Anonymous said...

"What a simpleton.", is this statement coming from someone that majored in simpleton studies?

The first post takes ignorance to a completely new level. It is almost a requirement to have a college degree to work at McDonald's.

Anonymous said...

I read books in the evening, at my house, for fun to learn. I went to college to get a degree so that I could work in my field. Without my degree, I don't do what I do.

Anonymous said...

Nice 180 Shad.

Anonymous said...

9:50. Millsaps College. 50k, Chaucer and Comps, please.

Lots of doctors and successful people from there studied Chaucer. Perhaps if we actually taught a variety of courses to develop one's full humanity, people would be more successful in life.

Anonymous said...

Nope, college is about learning how to think critically, its not a trade school.

Anonymous said...

Shad’s just trying to be relevant beyond not doing his job in TANF scandal.

Anonymous said...

Who is talking about gender studies? No one brought that up except Shad. People aren’t mad because Shad is going after gender studies, people are mad because Shad is in all practicality attacking degrees related to the liberal arts (liberal in this case NOT referring to political ideology). This includes degrees such as political science, English, and history. THAT is what people are mad about. How many of Shad's own employees have degrees in political science or other liberal arts? Doesn’t Shad himself have a political science degree? Isn’t Shad also an Oxford educated Rhodes Scholar? What is he contributing to the economy? Shad needs to stop building straw men to attack people who criticize him for producing shoddy products that push his own personal political policy ideas and ideology. He is the State Auditor. His job is to audit.

I am never voting for that man again.

Anonymous said...

Does Shad really think that many people care? He needs to get off the internet message boards and social media, those things trick you into believing regular people hang out there all day.

Anonymous said...

All this explaining by Mr. White brings to mind the old idiom, "A guilty dog barks loudest." If you have to keep explaining why you are commenting and writing reports and spending taxpayers' money on issues well beyond the scope of your job as the Auditor of Public Accounts, Mr. White, perhaps you are that guilty dog.

Anonymous said...

Shad shucking the corn this morning with this one! Pow, right in the kisser!

Anonymous said...

Amen Shad

Anonymous said...

Poor Shad got his feelings hurt. Sound very defensive. Again worry about your office where you have had pretty much all of your directors and the Deputy State Auditor resign in the last 2 weeks due to your new work policies. Run your office better before you try to tell other entities how to run their institutions.

Anonymous said...

Shad for the win. Let the whiners whine.

Anonymous said...

Assuming Tate Reeves gets re-elected Governor - 2024 -2028 - the sh*t show continues

Delbert remains LT. Governor - 2024 -2028

2028 - 2032 - Lt. Governor - Shad White, Governor Lynn Fitch!? (Delbert would be 80)

This state is so screwed!? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

@9:56 The comment comes from someone (myself) with a law degree. Your comment is genuinely spoken from one who could only dream of never having the ability to obtain employment at McDonald's.

Anonymous said...

It’s funny to hear Shad complain about being straw-manned by the libs while at the same time only referencing gender studies and anthropology. What about the practical effect this would have on dozens of other majors like English, political science, classics, religious studies, etc.? Further, this idea that he’s not personally coming to your house and telling your kids what they can and can't study, so his proposal doesn’t prohibit students from studying whatever they choose, is laughably disingenuous. Shad knows good and well that thousands of students in MS couldn’t afford college without their tax-funded scholarships. It's hard to believe the dude with degrees from Harvard and Oxford doesn’t know better, but hey, anything to fire up that base for the inevitable gubernatorial run.

Anonymous said...

@9:50

Who's talking about getting a degree in Chaucer? I can’t think of a single degree program in Mississippi where the only thing you learn about is Geoffrey Chaucer.

Anonymous said...

Laying aside the substance of the debate, Shad is too thin skinned for this.

His constant need to offer debate club style rebuttals proves it.

His baseline is Harvard and Oxford, where ideas matter, and having your ideas critiqued demands a response. He doesn't understand that right wing politics isn't about ideas: it's about power and tribal identity.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, there's still a powerful voice that worries about being seen as intellectually inferior. To be a successful right wing politician, you have to let go of that entirely, and he can't.

Anonymous said...

Shad is correct. But he is too sensitive about criticism. Ignore the trolls, Shad, especially the ones whose weekly columns are published in this blog.

Anonymous said...

9:50, did just that but it cost a lot more than that over 4 years. Even got the English major.

Doing fantastic. Degree has paid for itself over and over.

Anonymous said...

"Shad’s just trying to be relevant beyond not doing his job in TANF scandal."

TANF is federal money, no? What is he to do other than turn over what he has to the US Attorneys? If state laws were broken, I would think the Attorney General's office would be responsible for prosecution. Are you suggesting he stopped short of a "full" investigation of all involved?

Anonymous said...

Tell 'em, Shad! How many folks can't find jobs because of their worthless degrees (or the fact they don't want to, hence going after a worthless degree so they can obtain one without hard work and/or stay useless longer). It's kinda like live within your means -- don't borrow money you cannot repay .... and underwater basketweaving doesn't pay enough to repay the horrendous loans being taken out. Simple.

Anonymous said...

I vote that political science and marketing should be considered "junk" degrees, since all they seem to produce are professional liars.

Anonymous said...

I understand that Shad and many others do not think Mississippi is the proper venue for a real university. A real university is a place where knowledge is created, advanced, and taught. There is research and practice. Of course many students are looking for job training as they should but a real university is the one place in society where knowledge for knowledge sake is valued and cultivated. Since we are so backwards in Mississippi we should leave such arcane activity to more intellectual havens like Massachusetts, Connecticut, North Carolina, and gulp...even Texas. We should stick to learning how to plant taters and run a dragline and leave the useless intellectual stuff to those libs, geeks, and yes, Rhodes Scholars. Thanks Shad for reminding us.

Anonymous said...

Talking in the third person isn’t a great look Shad. Stick to your day job and stay out of politicking. You aren’t good enough at your job to be spending so much time in your fantasy magaland.

Anonymous said...

Does Shad sound like a crying toddler to everyone? Whine, whine, whine, libs suck, whine, whine, Biden is dumb, whine, whine, our taxes are going to libs, whine, whine. A parrot could be just as effective an auditor as baby Shadrick without all the annoyances.

Passionate Patriot said...

Just another right-wing government bureaucrat trying to control our personal choices in education. Next step is fascism.

Anonymous said...

He can think what he wants but this is not the job of the State Auditor. There are million of public money being misspent he need to tend to. The truth be known he wasted public funds with the stupid study.

Anonymous said...

Shad has a Napoleon complex.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a lot of first timers on here today. Academia crawling out of their towers to protect that sweet money.

Anonymous said...

Somebody get a body bag for Bill. He dead. Shad just dropped a nuke in his living room. Way to go Shad

Anonymous said...



Shad's towering conservative intellectual bonafides are demonstrated by how he runs the Office of State Auditor. Those are beyond question.

Who else would have had the courage to call the former governor a whistleblower in the TANF scandal?

Anonymous said...

College it seems is now a place for Liberal indoctrination rather than how to think.

Anonymous said...

10:53 AM is obviously biased towards media hypocrites that never call out their own for the disastrous crime their party perpetrates on to poor uneducated citizens in order to keep their “power.”

The thin skinned are the media hypocrites that want to write their lies - without ever being called out and proven that they are in fact liars.

So Shad, people are sick and tired of wimp Republicans – and if you keep “rebutting” the media liars - we will keep voting for you.

Anonymous said...

Shad should audit and quit running for governor. How about an audit of Rankin County and shut the hell up. Shad would run over old ladies and small children to get to the microphone or camera. He's a joke...really he is.

anonymous said...

Some posters here portray Shad as a nutjob. My first hunch is those who take potshots either do not understand his job description or simply disagree with his financial and political views. My second hunch is Shad's views are in line with most Mississippians.
RMQ

Anonymous said...

9:54 - Oh right. Nursing is a "trade" and has nothing to do with the medical field; shouldn't be in a university along with medical school. Do you realize what you're implying and what the disastrous outcome would be? Oh yeah, stick 'em right next to the room where welders and plumbers are trained and leave them out of the medical school equation. You want to be taken care of by a nurse with a "certification" rather than the same grade licensing that a physician must maintain and work to keep? While your life is on the line? Want to disassociate their field to further disconnect the medication prescribed from the person that's charged with jabbing it into your body? You're a special kind of fucking stupid.

Anonymous said...

It's a marvelous gift Mr. White has. Every time he has a press release, he sets multiple asses on fire. They are really roasting today.

Anonymous said...

Man--

The Liberal NUTJOBS came out of the woodwork on this one.
Never heard from so many.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else thinkin most all of these anonymous “way to go shad” comments are from him and his team?
G.

Anonymous said...

Reading Shadrick's petty response reminds me of the quote: "Methinks thou dost protest too much." It also makes ever clearer that he is only concerned with solidifying a strong (yet increasingly close-minded) MAGA base. I wonder how many previous state auditors (from MS or beyond) have found it necessary to pen a rebuttal to editorial criticism in the last 75 years? And it's not lost on me that the quote itself might disappear like the dodo bird if Shad's narrow-minded position took hold.

Anonymous said...

Folks, Shad White HAS to feverishly flood the news with his socialist bullshit to play himself up to be a "good guy who cares" to overcome the mountain of opinion that he covered up criminal behavior for Philbilly. Shad knows most Mississippians are suckers for "he's nice" so that's the play. An adult state auditor would have enlisted the Feds in crucifying Phil Bryant and anyone else who knew. Shad is a childlike, bit part player slowly fading into oblivion, and a small private practice.

Anonymous said...

Imagine how pissed Shad must have been when he got that Rhodes Scholarship to study all that useless trivia in Oxford England. From what I've heard they don't even teach a good trade at that place. What a waste.

Wow said...

To summarize all the comments:

Sounds like everyone has a lot of different opinions on Shad and his tactics.

Sounds like democracy is working. Love it.

Anonymous said...

Shad should get back to the job for which taxpayers are paying him. Auditing government agencies. I don't see anything in the law saying one of his duties is preparing press releases for a pissing contest with others.

Anonymous said...

Dayum! I read part of Mr. White's post and thought to myself...."Kingfish publishes this sort of bullshit and shitcans my attempts to be open, honest and forthright?"

I knew I should have been answering the call for annual donations. But I have no money.

"Pay to Play" does not just refer to government.

Anonymous said...

Shad is correct. Mississippi is a poor state and can't afford to do what Massachusetts, New York, California, North Carolina, etc. can do. When I moved to Mississippi, I thought and still think that Mississippi only needs Ole Miss, MSU, and JSU and should close the other public universities.

Anonymous said...

September 27, 2023 at 10:19 AM, tell me you don't know anything about current hiring practices, without telling me you don't know anything about current hiring practices. Stick to ambulance chasing.

Anonymous said...

"A real university is a place where knowledge is created, advanced, and taught."

That's part of the problem. Although college professors are omnipotent, they do NOT 'create knowledge'.

Just a normal dude said...

Auditor White has been a great state auditor and you can tell by who howls when he critiques their sacred cows. So many of Shad's critics, even in this thread, refuse to accurately state what the auditor's critique is. Claims that he wants to get rid of all "liberal arts" degrees while the commenter has no understanding what the phrase "liberal arts" means. "Nazism"? Wow! Before you are able to be a competent critical thinker, you have to be a competent logical thinker. And logical thinking and reading comprehension are in short supply by Shad's critics in this thread.

"Go audit something, Shad". He did. It was the utility of spending millions of dollars of taxpayer money to offer college degrees in subject's of questionable value to the state and the graduate. Is that money well spent, or not? If its not, the state can save millions, and since those degrees are available at private colleges, no one's opportunity is diminished by the state not offering that degree. If it is, answer the question: why is it money well spent by the the taxpayer that subsidizes the office of that college department? Either way it goes, its a win-win in my opinion. It answers the question: Why are we spending that money?

Frank Griffin said...

I often quote from a D Movie that I saw years ago, set in Mexico. A Mexican teenage boy was hassling an American man of low repute but high economic power. The American complained to the boy's father, a sort of Uncle Taco. The father held his hat in his hands and spoke these eternal words: "You must forgive him, senor. He is young and full of frijoles."

Shad, and I speak sarcastically, is young and full of frijoles. There's an old Chinese slaying, that "It's time for him to go and sweep the graves of his ancestors." A way of saying that Shad needs to lower his profile a generous amount, and seek wisdom from the older ones.

Anonymous said...

@4:30

Let me have a puff on that peace pipe when you're through with it.

Anonymous said...

4:27 Opinions vary on Shad being a great state auditor. He has performed the job. Great he is not. I will ask Shad if you need to be a college grad to run for governor.

Anonymous said...

Love all of the propagandists posing as journalists posting their dismay herein. How dare anyone rebut their drivel! How dare they!


Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. Proverbs 12:22

Anonymous said...

Chad needs grow a BIG set and audit Rankin & Hinds counties and city of Jax.
He won’t do it as he’s to chicken $hit scared!!
Come on Chad, DO IT to show us u are not a scaredy-cat!!

Anonymous said...

For his 5'5" and 138 lb stature, Shad sure has an enormous streak of ignorance.

Anonymous said...

11:09 PM, woke Democrats need not mock the “stature” of others. Comparing body types of any kind, ain’t the debate you wanna get into.

Shad, your column’s got ‘em going nuts! Well, nuttier. You keep calling out the lap dog tools, and we will keep electing you.

To Wimp Republicans, take note, Shad is teaching you exactly how you deal with propaganda.

Anonymous said...

@5:52am Exactly. You fight propaganda with propaganda. Sad, but true.

Anonymous said...

It’s only a matter of time before Phil is indicted, and Shad should be implicated to some degree in what appears to be an attempted coverup. Shad’s doubled down on his PR team and those around him in an effort to deflect and distract. All these “studies” that come from the Auditor’s office are nothing more than Shad’s attempt to fire up his base (the Madison and Rankin County Republican Women) and provoke the liberal left, which isn’t hard to do. The primary objective is keeping Shad’s name disassociated from Phil Bryant and keeping people talking about something else. Shad has problems on the horizon and he knows it. He just doesn’t have the ability to sit back and shut up. Once things heat up around him, Shad will play MAGA card number 1 which is to blame the woke media and the weaponized Democrat DOJ. Same song, different verse……

Anonymous said...

7:59 AM is right on!

We all see the media isn’t biased when Bill Crawford regularly reports on his Dem Party’s colossal failure cities like Democrat controlled Jackson’s innocent children being murdered and dying via stray bullets.

And we all know for certain that the DOJ is completely non-biased and only includes men and women of extreme high moral character!

Anonymous said...

To Wimp Republicans ...

AKA Mississippi's RINO herd.

Anonymous said...

Guys ease up on Shad. If you read his WSJ article and the above response, it becomes clear that he is not attacking traditional liberal arts but the ever expanding category of degrees that are neither practical from a career perspective nor part of the classical liberal arts tradition. Gender studies and stand up comedy are perfect examples of this. I don't see why taxpayers should be funding such programs. Higher education should focus on training students in both the traditional liberal arts and productive career fields. That way we can have useful people who can think. You can do both.

Anonymous said...

After crossing the finish line educating 4 kids, I appreciate Shad's drawing attention to a real issue. On a similar issue, I agree that enriching the students with required general courses should serve to make the students well rounded. However, if the state is going to require courses to obtain a degree and require payment for said courses, then at least go to the trouble to teach them. Upon questioning our child about her class absences, her response was "It's ok. It's just one of those dumb classes everyone has to take where you go the first day and he gives everyone a syllabus and the notes and says he doesn't care if you come to class or not." And she made an A so we couldn't even be vindicated for fussing at her.

Anonymous said...

7:32: Actually, I think the best weapon against propaganda is the truth.

Anonymous said...

7:50 PM is correct, truth is the best weapon against propaganda.

Nothing Shad wrote was inaccurate and his calling out a media propagandist is infuriating to them and the party they do their bidding for.

Anonymous said...

These last two post are laughable.... Shad? Posting "the truth"? Sorry guys his bullshit is propaganda too - meant to distract, deflect, and misdirect. He lost his integrity card by rescuing Philbilly.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:4 - Exactly how did Shad rescue Philbilly? Be specific. No generalities, no vague talking points, no hypotheticals.

Anonymous said...

2:47: I said nothing about whether or not Shad White spoke the truth. I only responded to another comment, which was addressed specifically to the person who wrote it. Go back and read it and maybe you will understand.

In fact, I think Shad was less than honest when he initially characterized Phil Bryant as a whistleblower in the welfare scandal.

-9/28@7:50

Anonymous said...

Shad rescued Phil by "counseling" him to turn Whistleblower as the only way out from under the whole mess. Strong federal laws protect whistleblowers, but maybe the Feds are seeing through it after the texts and connecting dots, not to mention ultimate responsibility for those federal dollars.

Phil will likely be diagnosed with cancer soon due to the stress of it all, and weasel Shad is praying he still has promise of a future in Mississippi.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.