Wednesday, March 17, 2021

The Suicide of Jackson: Water Billing Edition

A common mantra in Jackson is the city does not have the money to fix its water system.  However, if the city lacks money, perhaps it should look in the mirror.  The inability to serve and collect water bills cratered the system. It is really quite simple.   No revenue equals no money, not mo' money.  The State Veterans Home in West Jackson is one example of Jackson incompetence when it comes to performing basic tasks. 

Jackson did not bill the State Veterans Home on Lindbergh Street for water and services for four years. Four years.  Let that sink into your head for a moment.  The Mississippi VA can pay its water bills but it must have a water bill before it can um, pay the bill. 

Jackson made a grand total of eight payments in 2015 and four payments in 2016.  Jackson did not bill the Veterans Home from December 2016 to December 2020.  The facility has not received a bill in 2021.  JJ obtained the list of payments through a public records request. The list is posted below.

The Mississippi VA's accountant said water bills are paid within eight days of receipt of the invoice.  He said he asked Jackson more than once why it was not issuing a regular bill.  A city employee said the bill is "stranded" in the system.  Translation: the bill is just floating around somewhere in byteland playing Tron.  The current  "stranded" bill will cover half of December, January, and February.  State law bars the agency from making a payment without an invoice.  

 



 This is just one account that went unbilled and uncollected for four years.  How many other accounts in Jackson suffered the same fate?


59 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are thousands of homes who don't receive water bills. This is OLD NEWS! What else is new Fish? I've been saying for years that Jackson should go ahead and declare bankruptcy so we can start clean. Guess there goes our AAA rating Chok likes to brag about.

Anonymous said...

Lazy. Slothful. Unmotivated. But at least they meet expectations.

Anonymous said...

Complete incompetence. Complete. There is no defense. Can you image running any business and operating this way?

Anonymous said...

What kind ( how much) of an agreement did St. Dominic hospital have to reach with the city to get a permit for their well?

Fix the Pipes and Fill the Potholes said...

For years we have received monthly bills in Belhaven that are clearly identified as an "estimate" of water usage. I guess should go read the meter at the street and provide the information to the Water Department?...

Anonymous said...

@3:19. None from the city if they are supplying their buildings. Baptist built and dug a well in the past ten years. Also @mdot built a well in its parking lot, but capped it after reaching an agreement with the city.

Anonymous said...

So when the mayor said the state doesn’t have to pay for water, he meant the state doesn’t have to pay for water because we don’t send a bill

Anonymous said...

When Jackson's population was well over 250,000 the meters were read by humans going to each and every meter, opening it and recording the numbers. Then other humans computed the amount due on each account and sent out a bill. Most customers then paid their bill. If it wasn't paid within a certain period of time their water service was cut off. That was pretty good incentive to pay the bill. Now, with about half the population (and meter connections) the City uses a worthless billing system that doesn't send out bills. When a customer notifies the City and wants to pay their bill the City has no idea how to take their money. Go back to the old method. It worked. Collect what is due!

Anonymous said...

3:41 That's understandable with MDOT... free water for 4 years+ is a pretty good deal.

Anonymous said...

Counterpoint:

Water billing is a maintenance cost. The issues with Jackson's water system have been outside of "routine maintenance" for decades. Just like many, many aging cities around this country, the crumbling lead pipe infrastructure and patchwork roads are failing. It's going to take more than water bills to fix the systemic problems.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone here tell me why none of this information surprises me? Because it doesn't surprise me at all. Not one bit....

Anonymous said...

Jackson's Mayor unfortunately perpetuates the rampant learned helplessness throughout the "culture" of Jackson proper.....promoting the "let them slide" attitude, when it is actually tough love that is needed - regardless of racial issues. Eventually the rot will spill over into the outer burbs...all of them. Only a matter of time until the Foundren, Flowood, Madison, whatever - will look like Colonial Heights and Utha Street.

Atlanta and Memphis are examples. One can only build out so far, until it's time to leave the state.

Anonymous said...

Lumumba cannot forgive the water bills of his favorite constituents.

So you sporadically bill everyone but NEVER bill your favorites.

Yes, I am accusing the city of Jackson of not billing certain citizens and playing favorites.

Prove me wrong.

Anonymous said...

history has shown that throwing money at crime, education, healthcare, etc solves all the problems

MadisonRulz said...

I’m normally not a fan of outsourcing things like this, but does ANYONE believe the City will ever get a handle on this? It could probably contract billing and collecting out for 25% and make 3 times what it does now.

Anonymous said...

But that fat mouth race baiter Donna Ladd said it was the Klan to a national audience. Liberal whites are the reason we can't have nice things.

Economics 101 for the Woke Nation: first send the bills, then collect the bills. Nothing racist about that.

Anonymous said...

I mean, Baby Chok told y'al the was going to "Free the Land". By that he clearly meant free the water, too. Watch his Inaugural Address and his last comments.

Anonymous said...

KF you reach anyone at the water department by phone?

Anonymous said...

3:22 PM
Actually would not be a bad idea. Also make sure the water meter ID matches the one on the bill. And keep a log of what it says on a monthly basis.

Anonymous said...

To address a few things:

It was mentioned that St. Dominic drilled a well. As long as St. Dominic can get the well and aquifer withdrawal permit approved through MDEQ and MSDH, Jackson has no dog in the hunt. You can drill a private well on your private property. What St. Dominic CAN'T do is provide water to others from their well, nor can they get their water from another utility (that would violate Jackson's exclusive right to provide water service). But St. Dominic can drill a private well for their private use and Jackson can do nothing about it. Having said that, sewer billing is normally based on water usage, so I'm not sure how Jackson bills the sewer to the hospital correctly. I would be curious to know. Maybe they charge them some sort of flat rate.

Many commentors on facebook and commentors on this blog talked about state government buildings getting free water. That is not true. While government buildings are certainly exempt from certain property taxes, they are not exempt from utility bills. So the State Capitol building, Governor's Mansion, MDOT building, etc. should be paying a monthly electric bill, water/sewer bill, gas bill, etc.

If the bill is "stranded in the system", I think I would just manually read the meter, type up a bill on microsoft word and collect some money until we could fix it. That is what I would do. It does take money to operate a utility (that's basic business 101 logic), so collections are important. The utility I manage reads meters through an AMI system and then generates the bills through the billing system. But we do have one large meter on the system that we read manually, then type up an invoice and mail it. And there is a reason for that anomaly on our system. Of course Jackson's problem is that it is not "one" meter. The example that Kingfish is showing is just one of many.

Most all water/sewer loan agreements (USDA funding, SRF funding, etc.) require a utility to have a disconnect policy, and then to follow that policy. By not billing the water and collecting it, Jackson would be in violation of their existing loan agreements. That is in the loan agreements because a lender obviously knows that the loan can't be repaid if the utility doesn't collect for the water sold.

Bottom line is that it takes money to fix stuff, maintain stuff, replace stuff, pay back loans, pay staff, etc. This stuff isn't cheap. You absolutely have to find a way to bill and collect. You have to find a way. It is the lifeline. Nothing happens without money. That is fact.


Anonymous said...

I have not received a bill without having the “estimated usage” for 2 years

Anonymous said...

You’d need the army to go in and shut off the water to a large % of Jackson (it ain’t called the hood for nothing). No way to get ahead just keep asking for mo money with no strings (accountability) attached.

Anonymous said...

Their was always talk that you could shell out a few bucks to the right person and the water bill goes away.

Anonymous said...

A reliable source told me a couple of years ago that the Westin in downtown Jackson had never been billed for water after they opened I don't know if it's been resolved but should be easy to check.

Anonymous said...

Since Jackson has annual audits, what CPA firm prepares the audit for the City? Seems like the auditors would notice this. However, maybe they did and no one in city government did anything.

Anonymous said...

No one has mentioned straight line piping- bypassing meters

Anonymous said...

"Having said that, sewer billing is normally based on water usage, so I'm not sure how Jackson bills the sewer to the hospital correctly. I would be curious to know. Maybe they charge them some sort of flat rate."

In addition to a flat rate, there are a couple of other possibilities:
They could have access to the water system records to base the sewer bills on the water usage, or they could actually meter the sewer line or calibrate a dedicated pump station for metering.

FWIW, I once received a large residential 2-month bill from Jackson for a non-delinquent account on an unoccupied house. I had probably used 5 gallons of water during that period. For water, sewer, and garbage, this single, 2-month bill was in excess of $131,000. You read that right. So those folks complaining about $800 bills ain't got nothin' on me. No I didn't pay it - I literally framed it.

Anonymous said...

@4:32 pm

"If the bill is "stranded in the system", I think I would just manually read the meter, type up a bill on microsoft word and collect some money until we could fix it. That is what I would do."

That would require effort and being good stewards of public money - neither of which are qualities the Mayor possesses.

Anonymous said...

Jackson's population was NEVER 250,000.

Anonymous said...

3:07 I agree and disagree. It’s old news but until it sinks in to the City Government, NOT A F’IN PENNY SHOULD BE GIVEN TO THE Capital ‘J until their billing system is on line and collecting from everyone that has the non-potable (it’s pote...not pot...dumbass ignorant local MSM) swill piped to them....just sayin’.

Anonymous said...

Nay, the best Jackson got to was a little over 200K in the 80's. (The population is about 160K, now). Jackson ran the middle class out of Jackson and the middle class happened to be mostly white, at the time.

In fact, Jackson's population density had been declining since the 1940s.

Another fact is that Jackson's overall population grew through annexation, not immigration into the existing city limits, during this population density decline (1940s - late 80s)

In the 70s Jackson's population grew, strictly through annexation, a larger amount during those 10 years than the "white flight" of declining population for the past 30 years. It grew because it forced people outside the limits to become citypeeps, it's not like people were moving, en masse, to Jackson, MS at anytime in modern history.

Jackson has always sucked, the problem is that too many want to make it's suckiness strictly based on race, which makes those people suck worse

Anonymous said...

https://law.justia.com/cases/mississippi/supreme-court/1989/58267-1.html

Anonymous said...

Before I sold my rental properties in Jackson, I went 7 years without ever receiving/paying a water bill. They cut it off on one once, my tenant just turned it back on. Four houses. 7 years. No water bills. The place is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Make Invoices with Copy Paper and Crayons. I bet some of these businesses would pay them just to help the city out. I’m starting to believe no one in city government has the knowledge nor the drive to come up with any means to bill for water. May not know how to use crayons.

Anonymous said...

Call Chuck about this. I’m sure he has one of his famous plans. Much like solving crime by running gun shows out of town. Or keeping the zoo in a killing zone. Or fighting to keep the airport out of state hands. Tell him to fix the basic problems the correct way. Hard work and common sense. But he will never do that. Doesn’t fit into his new world order. But it’s not beneath him begging to the government for money to fix the problems he can’t. Ole Chuck is way in over his head. Time to get him out and put someone competent in office. Do it now before the unwoke tax paying companies and citizens leave for good. This will leave the capital city with only people that are waiting on their monthly check. New World Order.

Anonymous said...

3:50 p.m. ---- WRONG.

Water billing is much more than maintenance money - first off, your water bill includes the fee for water, sewer and garbage collection. Over the past four years, when the city has not required anyone to pay their bill due to their billing problems, a third of the city's users didn't pay anything - nothing for their water, their sewer use or their garbage collection.

Prior to these moratoriums on payment, the city with its same aging infrastructure, was able to maintain the system and make a profit. As with any utility, the city system had adequate reserves to pay for any major disrpution in either its water distribution system or its sewage collection and treatment.

But when you don't send bills to a third of your customers, and don't require any of them to pay, then you have no money to operate with.

Utility systems are designed to make money for their cities - and Jackson's has for the past several decades. That was true for all previous administrations, even with the incompetent leadership of some of those administrations. The city system was old and with problems five years ago, and ten years ago, but could pay its bills and maintain its operation. Now, with four years of not requiring people to pay - it is broke.

Yes, water bills are designed to provide maintenance, and also to provide a cushion. That cushion is there to take care of disasters (tornados, hurricanes, whatever) and also to provide a reserve so that the system can incur bonded indebtedness to finance significant improvements.

Jackson's leadership this past four years has broken the system - literally and financially - by not sending bills to customers, and by not making users pay anything despite their use of water, and having a contractor pick up and dispose of their garbage.

Every other utility system operates with a disconnect process for those that don't pay their bill within a reasonable period - generally 10 to 15 days from the sending of the bill. When Jackson's billing system collapsed, it should have required every customer to at least pay a minimum charge monthly in order to maintain their service but just the liberal socialist style operation that has become so popular recently with governments had the attitude that collections were not important. Somebody else can carry the freight. Some folks are just "too poor" to pay these bills. And that has led to today's situation. It was not the cold weather that created this problem - all the weather did was expose the years of not keeping the treatment plant properly maintained so that the backup systems still existed and operated.

Water bills are not just for maintenance - in a properly managed system they are to produce a profit. After maintenance. After replacements. And to cover unexpected expenses resulting from disasters. But here in Jackson, water bills are to create a crisis - and you know the old Democratic saying: "Never let a crisis go to waste".

Anonymous said...

I had a friend who worked for the Army Reserve at Hawkins Field. He told me that on their daily exercise walks & runs they found two water leaks, where water was running down the street for almost a mile until it ran in the drainage ditch. Either stream would fill a gallon jug in 30 seconds or so.

They went back, marked the leaks with wooden stakes 4 foot high wrapped with engineer ribbon and called the city water department to report the leaks before going to annual training. Almost 3 weeks later after getting back to work they found the stakes pulled up & thrown over in the weeds. He said that 2 1/2 years later when he left, the water was still running.....

Now we all remember Chokedup getting on tv and talking how Jackson was raising minimum wage to $10.00 an hour. How about that tax payers, giving the incompetent city workers a big raise to continue to do NOTHING about anything. Maybe all you "progressive" DIM-O-KRATS feel good about being fleeced on a daily basis to watch your money go down the drain. Me, I think you're fuk'n idiots to turn a blind eye and shut up so as to be called "progressive"

Anonymous said...

@8:05 So you are part of the problem? Are you proud?....., jeff

Anonymous said...

So this website is casting blame on the city folks. What about the conmen who sold the city the lies. It was stated clearly in the complaints of Jackson and Moss Point that the meters did not work and Siemens had never used these type of meters. Guess who owns that Hershey meter company? Yea the Siemens sales guys including a Flowood alderman... he and his former State football player parters intentionally deceived the city...with the help of daddy Flowood mayor. They double dipped in every way. Kinda funny that all local bloggers including KF and other local media don’t mention their names either because they are afraid of the Rankin County repercussions or are getting paid to be quiet. Right KF? I hope JG’s check is worth your integrity and reputation. Enjoy that payoff,
you’re earned it on the backs of ordinary Jackson residents. Sell out.

Anonymous said...


Somewhere buried in a law book there has to be a way (from a public health standpoint) for the state to take over the water / sewer problems in Jackson.

Now I know what you all will say: Who the hell wants to do it? No upside politically!

You're right. But these people deserve clean drinking water and sanitary sewer.

F--C baby chok. Let's get this problem solved.

Anonymous said...

If you try to do business with these kind of people, you hate to realize it, but you realize incompetency is a cultural epidemic. Something is missing somewhere, in the logic of being responsible and competent. This truth won’t get approved.

Anonymous said...

I bought a south Jackson home & land from the recently deceased former owner's heirs last year. Water was bubbling up in the yard (between the meter and the house) due to a broken water line.

As soon as the sale was final, I called the city water department to report the change in ownership and update the billing information.

The water department said the address did not exist and they had never provided water there. After repeated calls, they sent someone out (or so they claimed) who could not find this address. Keep in mind there is a streetside mailbox with the number clearly marked, and the street is also well marked with signage. The power company and post office had no trouble finding it.

I turned off the water at the meter in hopes of drying out the swamp, and an elderly neighbor (90+ year old WWII vet!) walked over. I wondered aloud why the former owner never fixed the leak, and the neighbor laughed and said he had no reason to. Said the former owner never got billed for water anyway, and still had pretty good water pressure in the house, so he didn't bother.

There's a good chance that property had been getting free water for decades... and if I turn that meter back on, I could start the next decade of free water, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

743:
Correct til the last sentence.
922: post the names. You are posting anonymously, ffs

Anonymous said...

Why you not posting my Donna Ladd comment, KF? Y'all got some backroom deal going on?

The race baiting self-described muckraker should be shamed publicly for calling out Mississippi on a national media outlet for not coming to the defense of a massively incompetenly run city and blaming of all things the Klan for the water woes.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You are a bitch.

Anonymous said...

9:22, you are absolutely correct. That won’t change the fact that kingfish is going to give his readers the red meat that they want. They want to hear only one narrative, that when people vote differently than they do, those people deserve and get bad things. Kingfish seems content with delivering that narrative at the expense of academic honesty or fair reporting. I, for one, am just about done with this blog for it.

Anonymous said...

King, it is obvious that the water bill forgiveness legislation Reeves vetoed last year was wanted by Jackson to keep this gross incompetency out of public view. Maybe out of view from the financial ratings services too.

Kingfish said...

Then get lost. No one is making you read this website.

As for the flowood crap, have no idea what you are talking about.

I funny how y'all leave Porter Bingham out of the discussion. How many bad bond deals did he stick with the city thanks to Harvey?

The Siemens deal was all about Harvey's crowd cashing out one last time. Period. Harvey forced a bunch of unqualified contractors on Siemens, his friends got their money in bond fees, and Porter earned several hundred thousand dollars.

Kingfish said...

Also, they've been working on supposedly fixing this problem at least half of Yarber.s term and all of Lumumba's. Are we any closer to solving it?

But hey, let's hire Marshand to fix it

Anonymous said...

It is my understanding from a reliable source that works as a 3rd party for the City, that back in the day of meter readers, the City would collect 7 million dollars annually in the water/sewer administration. Now, with all of the Siemens and billing issues, the City collects only 4 million dollars. This is the issue.
I do not understand why the City does not put all of its efforts into solving the billing problems. Seems to me it would be a political home run for a leader to tackle and solve this issue.

Anonymous said...

I had a rental house in Jackson for the last 3 years, finally sold it. I called the water department to settle up anything I owed, so I could be squared away with all the bills associated with the house. 3,784.00, they hadn't billed my tenants for water in 3 years. Why would a renter pay a "free" bill? They received one or two bills, paid $10.00, just to appease someone and they never lost water. My husband called the next week to ask about a payment plan or something for the $3,784.00, a week later it was $1,420.00. They wouldn't email or mail us a statement of what we used, payments made, etc... So he went down there to get the statement, it said $0.00! That's 3 years that that rental home had free running water. If they cannot bill people correctly, or at all, then they we will always be in terrible shape.

Anonymous said...

Jackson - where the municipal water is free, BUT don't drink it or cook with it.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

If I recall, rather than letting Siemens install the meters and set up the billing, City of Jackson, in its infinite wisdom, gave the installation contract to a local "buddy" company with no experience with this type of job. So the conmen were invited in by the city.

Anonymous said...

Open question to Mayor Lumumba:

What DOES work in the City of Jackson?

The water? Nope
The water billing system? Nope
The police? Nope
The repair of the streets? Somewhat
Jackson Public Schools? Nope
The attraction of new business? Nope
Enforcement of driving laws? BIG he*l NO.
The Convention Center? Nope
Farrish Street redevelopment? Nope
Getting the homeless solicitors off the street corners? Nope
Pick-up of trash strewn about the streets or at empty building parking lots? (see the parking lot at the abandoned auto parts store on McWillie near where Joker's used to be.) Nope
Reduction in the murder rate? Nope
Reduction in rate of property crimes? Nope

Mr. Mayor please tell us what is working correctly?

Thank you.




Anonymous said...

10:14, the only thing working is Jackson is playing the blame game....

DIM-O-KRATS and their bleeding heart progressive supporters (you know the ones who claim they support the citizens of Jackson, but live in their gated neighborhoods and send their kids to private schools) have destroyed more cities and communities than all natural disasters.

Oh, you left something else off the work list: Majority of the residents

Anonymous said...

Hey KF....

Maybe we should employee Neil deGrasse Tyson to come to Jackson and study the
interstellar "blackhole" where all the money from Jackson's additional tax revenue goes to, disappears, vanishes, time travels to another dimension known as the Twilight Zone.

Anonymous said...

When is his "horror", the Mayor going to appear on tv and throw out some new projects names for his last debacle?

I know he's using them up pretty quick, so maybe some of these will help him?

1. Water Emergency That Begins/Ends at City Limits

2. Reservoir Hoarding Water at Jackson's Expense

3. Whatda Ya Mean Stokes Drunk It All

4. Gonna Rain Citizens, Set Out Plenty Pots & Pans (Donate Ya Extra)

5. Spend Money On Repairs Hell, Gonna Blame Whitey

6. Now, If We Only Knew WTF We're Do'n


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.