Thursday, November 3, 2016

Fondren homicide

JPD issued the following press release:

On Thursday, November 3, 2016, at approx. 12:00 PM; Jackson Police Officers responded to the 200 block of Gaddis St. regarding a shooting. Upon officers' arrival, it was learned that two females had been shot while occupying a white Pontiac Grand Prix. The driver, identified as Wyvonia Bell, 19; sustained a gunshot wound to the arm. She is stable. The front passenger, identified as Kristen Bennett, 18; sustained multiple gunshot wounds. She was pronounced deceased on scene.



During the course of the investigation, it was learned that the occupants of the vehicle were traveling in the area when an unknown suspect(s) fired multiple rounds into the vehicle. The vehicle came to a rest on Gaddis St. Investigators were able to locate evidence on Dunbar St. believed to be linked to this incident. It was alleged the victims were possibly being followed in the area by two females occupying a silver vehicle just prior to the shooting. The shooter is described as a black male standing in the street armed with a gun.

This investigation is ongoing. Anyone with any information regarding the suspect(s) in this incident, please call the Jackson Police Department at 601-960-1234 or 601-355-TIPS (8477).


Kingfish note: It appears she left a child behind.  

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fondren is not safe.

Anonymous said...

This is NOT in Fondren. Fondren ends at West Street.

Anonymous said...

Fondren is getting to be the same as the rest of Jackson. Just as dangerous.

Anonymous said...

Maggie Wade on ch 3 news said. Casings from an assault rife were found. How do they know it was an assault rifle?

Anonymous said...

OMG PEOPLE!!!FONDREN IS IN JACKSON!!! GEESH!!!

Anonymous said...

Madison County thugs coming into Jackson. Hinds County Sheriff's need to pull over everyone with a Madison County plate

Anonymous said...

The shooting happened on Dunbar which is Fondren.

Google maps could be the policeman's friend said...

To call Gaddis Street, or Dunbar Street, or any of the part of West Street running between them as "Fondren" is like calling Pearl the Reservoir.

Shoot 'Em Up Again.. said...

Maggie Wade is a fool if that's what she said. What does it mean to have 'left a child behind'? Does this mean she left a child at the scene or that she is survived by a child? I'll bet you fifty bucks all four of the females have two or more children.

4:28; Whine as you will - Fondren is not restricted to Saltines and the grocery store.

Anonymous said...

Tough to accept but it went down in Fondren.

Anonymous said...

Dunbar Street runs from N State Street (north of Pennsylvania) west to West Street. Gaddis Street is one block long on the east side of the RR track, and continues on the west side.

Shooting "appears" to have happened on Dunbar; victims were found on Gaddis.

It is four blocks between the west end of Dunbar to Gaddis Street. I don't know, and I'll take odds that nobody else on here knows, where on Dunbar Street the shooting actually happened. But since there is a short shot between the west end of Dunbar to Gaddis, the shooting was probably along the West Street area - where there are plenty of joints for people to hang out. But they aren't "Fondren type" joints.

You could consider the east block of Dunbar as Fondren, but not the other six or eight blocks - and certainly not the area along West Street. I'll stand by the post above - not in Fondren. (And I don't have a dog that hunts anywhere near or around Fondren - just think reporting of homicides should bother to be accurate)

Anonymous said...

4:28 - Bullshit.
Why do you Fondrenites try to pretend that that part of Fondren is NOT in Fondren?
For gosh sakes, FONDREN Park is just up the street from their.
Quit trying to pretend that Fondren is safe. It isn't. Take your head out of the sand, Sally.

Anonymous said...

I live in Fondren and we count it despite the fact that pretty much all of those streets coming off of West are lined with what could only be called shacks.

Anonymous said...

I thought they were only supposed to throw bricks an rocks an boddles.

Murder in Fondren said...

The area we call Fondren is from Woodrow Wilson Avenue to the south, Northside Drive to the north, the ICR Railroad line to the west and I-55 to the east.

Fondren

Fondren

Anonymous said...

... the shooting was probably along the West Street area ...

But you admittedly don't know.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kingfish,

Gaddis Street is on the other side of the railroad track. It is not Fondren.

I see you're talking a page out of WLBT's "close enough" standard. How ambitious of you.

Anonymous said...

Shell casings found in front of 326 & 338 Dunbar.

Anonymous said...

@4:40 FYI,the deceased young lady is survived by one young daughter.

Anonymous said...

Fondren is where the white people are!

That make it easier?

Anonymous said...

With all the higher density low cost housing being added to Fondren things are definitely looking up!

When does Sal & Mookies in Livingston open for business?

Anonymous said...

Oh my! It's worth coming to this blog even occasionally see how people throw down and get technical over "where did it happen"? It happened 10 feet from what is known as Fondren, or whatever the hell Jacksonians want to call it. God forbid it happens 100 yards to either direction!!! This is classic Jackson Jambalaya right here. Somebody quick, call a RLS! Let's get a survey and make this all correct. Ooh wheeee. Laughing hard. Sorry it happened, hope ya'll sort out the location. Myself I just see it as Jacksonian crime overflow, no matter how or where in what direction. I'm still laughing sorry to all still trying to determine the exact location.....HAHAA.

Anonymous said...

326 Dunbar

Anonymous said...

What does a block either way matter. It isn't like they were walking.

Murder in Fondren said...

The owner of 326 Dunbar in FONDREN is Patricia Townsend.

Police are looking for Marsalis Townsend, 21, on charges of murder, aggravated assault, and shooting in an occupied vehicle. The fatal shooting is Jackson's 55th homicide of 2016.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Great to see Jackson residents doing their part to clean the City up. It's a shame they can't aim better.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for this thread to fill up with rascist white folk using thinly veiled rascist words like "thugs" to claim black folks commit all the crimes when in reality whites commit so much more crime. These comments are why I prefer jackson free press at least they tell the whole truth.

Oh LORT! said...

6:46 - You can't spell racist, but, you must have known that was a lie when you posted it.

Anonymous said...

I kinda like "rascist".....it resonates! It's my new favorite non-word.

Anonymous said...

7:01 & 7:30 y'all all worried about my spelling when you need to checking statistics and facts. #allfactsmatter

Anonymous said...

6:46, the only thing "thinly veiled" is your poor attempt at trolling. Racist whites, thugs, crap statistics, and JFP all in one post? Come on. You can do better than that.

Anonymous said...

"Hey Kingfish,

Gaddis Street is on the other side of the railroad track. It is not Fonder."

Hey 5:26,

First of all it is "Fondren" and secondly I challenge you to find where any part of Gaddis Street is west of the railroad tracks. You obviously have not driven on the north end of Mill St. in many years. While Goggle maps may show Gaddis St. there, it was closed and abandoned more than forty years ago. The only block of Gaddis is east of North West St. That is where the car was when police found it. According to Find it in Fondren's website Fondren extends west to the railroad tracks. So yes, this was indeed in Fondren.

Anonymous said...

6:46 JPS failed you miserably. The suspect has a Facebook page with an unfiltered look into this idiots life. JPS failed him also along with JSU.

Anonymous said...

Life is held so cheaply in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

I just love the way Vance is counting the days between homicides. Hey Vance how about counting how many officers you are short and replace them. You just might be able to stop some of this violence which is out of control

Anonymous said...

7:57 - link please I would like to see it

Anonymous said...

These streets are certainly within the Fondren District as it is illustrated on the " FIND IT IN FONDREN " web site.

Anonymous said...

there's never been a murder in madison, ridgeland, pearl, brandon, clinton, florence, richland, or byram?

it happens. sad every time.

Anonymous said...

Damn. I'm impressed. Over three dozen posts - a couple of them saying that Gaddis Street is not in Fondren, and two dozen arguing that it is in Fondren.

According to those two dozen it does appear that Gaddis is in what is officially designated ----- by who I don't know and really dont care ----- as Fondren. Looking at a map it is east of the railroad tracks ---- but driving there I wouldn't know because I'm not driving that section of West Street.

So - let's all agree that Gaddis Street is in Fondren. That said, maybe any other comments here can be as interesting as 6:46's and provide us with at least a little chuckle

Anonymous said...

I'm depressed that Jeff Goode is opening a Sal and Mookies in Gluckstadt. People moved out here to get away from people like him. I guess even Jeff is seeing the writing on the wall that his restaurant can't sustain in the ghetto. Expect the Jacktown Sal and Mookies to close within two years of the Madison County one opening. Expect Jacktown residents to turn Madison County into a third world country in the next five years. IT spreads like a cancer.

Anonymous said...

yes it was! no it wasn't! yes it was! no it wasn't! say it one more time and you are gonna be sorry. yes it was! that's it, i'm taking all my toys and going home to my momma!

Anonymous said...

Everyone: it is sad news to hear of anything bad happening to anyone, no matter where it is- Jackson, Madison, Djibouti, etc.. My prayers are with the parties mentioned in the post.

Can someone please explain to me: How does anyone benefit from talking so badly about Jackson? Where does the trend come from- what is the origin?

I can make sense of having pride- like living in Madison and loving Reunion, or living in Brandon or Ridgeland- anywhere- all good.
But Jackson is every Mississippian's Capitol City. Don't you want it to do well? Wouldn't you like to see it succeed?

For a reason I cannot understand, people that live in the 'burbs and in small towns seem to bask in Jackson's shortcomings and issues. I do not get it--- if Jackson is a bad place, it is bad for everyone who lives in our state. It is particularly bad for those who live in Madison county, as the crime trend is seemingly moving northward. The human failure, which is the driving force of the failure of all things (see: The Bible) is what keeps hard times in our city. No geographical distance can shield you from this concept, especially if you just live ten or fifteen minutes from it.

If you want things to be better for Mississippi, and better for you and your family- you will pray for Jackson; and you will desire its success.
Nothing worth doing is easy--but a bright future is a deliberate choice. Please, even in the face of homicide, be positive and find a reason to be loving. Offer your help to people, pray for a positive outcome.

Anonymous said...

Determining whether this shooting was in Fondren has nothing to do with how close you think the boundaries of Fondren are to the train tracks. It has everything to do with whatever this projectile was and whether it could have killed you inside the bounds of what you consider to be Fondren. If the bad guy (or gal) was using an "assault rifle," start by drawing a ~600* yard radius around where the shell casings were found. If you're in that circle, there better be trees or dirt between you and the shooter. Drawing that circle around 326 Dunbar St., I see lots of what most people consider to be Fondren. Luckily, there are lots of big trees (and some hills) in that area.

*Before you start debating the lethal ranges of every weapon and every round, know that I'm only trying to make a point about what we think of as "safe" per one set of social/economic standards versus what is actually safe per the physical world. Classifying this as "outside of Fondren" does not make the danger less real.

Anonymous said...

Not sure why all the argument over the location, but the shooting was in the 300 block of Dunbar (between Downing and Northview) and the victim in the car was at 231 Gaddis (now empty lot after the house burned down last year) which is the first lot facing Gaddis west of Downing. 3 blocks between the two sites.

p.s. Haven't lived there in 30 years but I grew up in the house that was burned down, and we definitely lived in "Fondren" even in the 60's. As far as I know, the legal description calls it Industrial Heights, but we always referred to it as Fondren.

Seventeen Blues Clubs!!!!! said...

@10:36pm As to your question about "Jackson bashing" or whatever, I can speak for myself only, but I think my experience is probably the same and most.

I grew up in the city and lived there until 2005. I left for all sorts of reasons: crime, bad streets, cost of living (taxes/tag/insurance are all higher in Hinds), declining property values, Stokes, I could go on. I had a 7-year-old daughter at the time and decided to move my family to a place where we could feel safe and live in a larger house for less cost, so we moved to Rankin County.

The Jackson crowd (led loudly and conspicuously by the JFP and Donna Ladd) have waged a war of misinformation, claiming that Jackson is not unsafe, that crime is a perception (a favorite phrase during Johnson's first term), and that all the people who have moved to Madison or Rankin are doing it chiefly because they are racists. The Donna Ladd logic is typical liberal bigotry: Black people live in Jackson, white people move to Madison, ergo whites are racists.

This mantra of racist whites leaving town under a false notion of fleeing crime is shattered every time stories like this are reported. It gives justification to people who have chosen to live their lives and raise their families in a better place - not that they need it, but it is nice to see the hateful smears of the Keep Fondren Funky crowd dashed to pieces.

Donna's smarmy little acolytes will come here and the first (and pretty much only) charge they level is racism. It's a cheap bullshit tactic and no one likes being falsely painted with such a heinous brush.

They'll brag about how they love living and shopping in Jackson, even though none of them live in places like Lake Hico or Woodlea or Presidential Hills, and they don't frequent Metrocenter or Westland Plaza or McDowell Square.

They'll talk about how Jackson's restaurants (pretty much Parlor Market and nothing else) are great and dismiss Madison County establishments because, well, they aren't Parlor Market (here's a perfect example from this week).

They'll shoot down ideas that could make the city better (such as relocating the Zoo to Lefleur's Bluff) with accusations of "fear of black people" when none of them have moved their homes or businesses to less fortunate areas.

It's hypocrisy on a grand scale, and it's compounded by their constant charges of racism against people who have legitimate and compelling reasons for the life choices they have made.

So when their narrative is exposed for the lie that it is, people engage in schadenfreude and Jackson gets more than its share of derision. But I think most of us would love to see the city come back and be a safe, vibrant place. The problem is that lying and saying that it is doesn't make it so, and calling those who disagree racists is just plain pathetic.

Ladd FRAUD said...

... Donna Ladd logic is typical liberal bigotry ...

Anonymous said...

Can we all take just a moment and pray for the families of these two young ladies? I know the survivor: good kid; two good parents who are married to each other and both work but can't afford to move somewhere else; the survivor worked through high school, played sports and stayed out of trouble. While I do not know the deceased, she was the cousin of the survivor. Both were in their first year of community college. Apparently they were ambushed in some sort of mistaken identity situation.

The issues in Jackson are REAL, but bashing the City won't solve the issues either. A systemic change is needed: JPS, criminal justice system, juvenile justice system, elected officials, and on and on. Regardless of where we live, shop and play in the Metro Area, we all suffer with a dysfunctional Capital City.

Please keep the families in your prayers. And look for an opportunity, no matter how small, to make a change. We can't keep going in this direction, losing young people senselessly. Much love and prayers to the residents of the City -- and to the residents outside the City! We are all connected; we all suffered another unnecessary tragedy.

Anonymous said...

7:24 am I live in Jackson and have never read the Jackson Free Press. I suppose I am what you call a RINO and I call a rational conservative and traditional Christian.
I agree with 10:36 pm that bashing Mississippi's capitol is dysfunctional and stupid.
It is a city , not a suburb and in every city of the country, there are places that you don't venture that are within spitting distance of places where you can venture. The Garden district of New Orleans ( to put in closer to home) is certainly an example.
When it comes to murder, you are still more likely ( as in this case apparently) to by murdered by someone you know. Crime in Jackson is still primarily Black on Black and happens primarily where poverty exists.
As for me, I would not be driving late at night anywhere one block west of N. State St.
Last night was First Thursday in Fondren. There were thousands participating ( I drove down Old Canton coming back from dinner with friends at Lou's Service and saw them). There was a visible police presence managing traffic, parking and flow of people. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves as there were bands playing .
I'm glad I'm not a afraid of my own shadow. I can enjoy the benefits of Madison and Jackson. Those who are paranoid and reacting emotionally to this racist fearmongering are limiting your life and experiences and are incredibly gullible. You may not think you are racist but you are being affected by racist propaganda. It is limiting your life . It's caused you to make life decisions based on emotion and not the best facts available. You " think" you have made decisions based on safety and economics but you haven't. If you had, you'd have studied the property value and crime timelines of other capitol cities that had periods of decline. I picked an area I knew would remain relatively stable during decline but knew my property would experience greater value over a long period and that is what is happening. A state's government is not relocated. Universities and colleges don't relocate. Large medical centers do not relocate.
Yes there is crime in Jackson and other typical URBAN problems that are experienced everywhere in the world where poverty exists and cities are aging. Cities have periods of decline and renewal and have for centuries. Rational humans just roll up their sleeves and work on getting renewal started. It's starting in Jackson. Fondren is one of the places where it's happening but not all of it at once. It took time to decline and it takes time to renew.
You should be afraid of and avoid criminals and unstable, toxic and untrustworthy people. They aren't limited to a race or religion. Wouldn't it be convenient if they were?


Anonymous said...

Well said 7:24 AM.

Anonymous said...

Another soundbite sermon @8:54 AM ... YAWN

Anonymous said...

I picked an area I knew would remain relatively stable during decline but knew my property would experience greater value over a long period and that is what is happening.

What area? Please name it.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that the people in Jackson blame everything on people not living in the city? What is so hard to understand. People not living in Jackson do not come there to commit crimes. They do not elect the leaders. They do not have children going to Jackson schools. Most try their best to not go inside the city.
Yet it is the fault of these people that Jackson has a high crime rate, high taxes, dishonest leaders, no paved streets, water running down the streets instead of in the water lines, crooked cops.
Who is committing the crimes? Who is electing these leaders? Who chose the school personnel?
Sounds like the people in Jackson have failed miserably and are looking to blame it on anyone they can. Much easier to yell racist than it is to clean up the city.

Anonymous said...

It is my belief that many people who left Jackson are still angry that they felt the need to leave. They mainly were seeking better schools for their children. Commuting seemed a small price to pay for their children's education and safety. They are angry because they left their parents and grandparents home and cemeteries, their big churches and church families. They watched Stokes and others tear down a once proud and beautiful city, rename streets and littering every pole and intersection. Places where they held their senior proms shut down. Graffiti, gangs, guns and drug dealers were standing on corners where they once played. Trying to ride down streets to visit old neighbors the progress of their cars would be blocked by several youth hoping to intimidate them. Just a few of the reasons.

Anonymous said...

10:18. So you think 8:54 is a soundbite sermon but 7:24 (almost twice as long an opposing soundbite) is well said.

Sorry, but not everybody that chooses to live iN Jackson is one of Donner's fan base. I can't stand her -and I just said that much nicer than I normally do.

I don't hate the burbs. Visit friends there often.

I have absolutely no liberal leanings, although beginning to move from what has been considered conservative to libertarian on some issues.

Enjoy your time demeaning Jackson if you want. Enjoy your life in Ridgeland, Richland or wherever. But grow up and realize that your rantING along with the ilk of 7:24 only satisfies your small hand ego.

Anonymous said...

As a Jackson resident for over 27 years, I tell all my visiting family members and friends to stay out of the "Jackson Triangle" between 8PM-8AM. If you find yourself surrounded by i-55, i-220, and i-20, you need to seek safety immediately. The film "The Purge" is based of the Jackson Triangle. I can't make this stuff up.....

Anonymous said...

7:24, I couldn't have stated it better myself. Likewise, 8:54, please go back and read how many times you contradicted yourself in your own post.

I grew up in Jackson. It's a terrible shame it's changed for the worst.....but it has. My family's safety was more important to me that being one of the "by damn, I'm not gonna let anyone run me out of town" crowd, so we moved. I now live in the suburbs, and we haven't had a single homicide or home invasion or rape, etc. in years. COULD those crimes occur here? Yes DO they occur here with regularity like in Jackson (or even rarely, for that matter)? No. Could those statistics change over time? Yes, at which time, we'll likely move again.

Liberals look at things like they WISH they were. Conservatives look at things the way they ARE. Thus the reason you witness liberals rushing to spout the racist claim. They can't defend the facts, so they must divert to something made up.

If you're comfortable living in a city where you "would not be driving late at night anywhere one block west of N. State St.," fine. Currently, my city doesn't have places like that, and that's the way I like it. Strangely, some people on here will take offense to that position. What do you make of that?

Anonymous said...

November 3, 2016 at 6:46 PM, run on over to the JFP real quick as Donner is running a story about the Aryan Brotherhood. I'm sure it is the absolute and whole truth you're looking for and that, considering the moribund state of discourse at the JFP, Donner would gladly welcome any comments you'd like to make.

Anonymous said...

7:24 said: The Jackson crowd [claims] that all the people who have moved to Madison or Rankin are doing it chiefly because they are racists.

Donna's smarmy little acolytes will come here and the first (and pretty much only) charge they level is racism.

It's hypocrisy on a grand scale, and it's compounded by their constant charges of racism against people who have legitimate and compelling reasons for the life choices they have made.



8:54 said: Those who are paranoid and reacting emotionally to this racist fearmongering are limiting your life and experiences and are incredibly gullible. You may not think you are racist but you are being affected by racist propaganda. It is limiting your life . It's caused you to make life decisions based on emotion and not the best facts available.


Thank you, 8:54 for proving 7:24's point so succinctly.

Anonymous said...

" Likewise, 8:54, please go back and read how many times you contradicted yourself in your own post."

I just went back and reread 8:54's post - not mine BTW - and don't see anything in the post that contradicts itself. That is, unless you are taking the closed attitude that 'all' of Jackson is one cesspool and that none of it has any reason for being.

Just as 8:54 did, I moved to Jackson some 30 years ago - at that time there was nothing to do in Madison or Flowood to the extent that they even existed as a place to live. I have remained in Jackson on my own accord for many reasons - the primary one is that I don't want to have to commute several miles every day to go to work; back home in time for kids activities; back to Jackson for church, etc. And where I live in Jackson I feel perfectly safe - as safe as if I lived in any of the nice, new subdivisions in your county. I prefer mine; you prefer yours. I like Gala apples - you might prefer Honeycrisps. Differences is what makes the world go around.

When my children were in school I chose to send them to a parochial school because I thought it offered the best education available. And that was even before the Jackson schools had gone to pot. If they were going to school today I would send them to the same school. For you, though - if your moving to Madison or Rankin was to put your kids in a good public school system rather than paying your taxes and having to pay additional tuition, I don't blame you at all. I am not calling you a racist for making such a move. Just as I moved to Jackson for the convenience of a great school 30 plus years ago, your moving for that reason is certainly defensible.

If your hatred of Jackson is because it isn't what you had when you were growing up, if your favorite haunts are not 'available' any more because that part of town has gone to hell all I can say is I'm sorry. Shit happens, and to a good part of the city the shit has happened. But that doesn't include the entire city. Be glad for those that have chosen to stay; you don't have to come down or across to join in. We don't care; we will come visit your area when we choose, and enjoy our neighbors when we choose to stay in the city.

And no, I don't subscribe to, read or even like the JFP. If you want to try to label my voting preferences I'll put mine up against yours and bet the ranch that yours won't be any more, if even as close, to a consistent conservative record both locally and nationally. So don't try throwing that crap around either.

Anonymous said...

And where I live in Jackson I feel perfectly safe - as safe as if I lived in any of the nice, new subdivisions in your county.

What neighborhood?

Anonymous said...

Jackson is a cesspool.

Anonymous said...

Jackson is a cesspool.

Anonymous said...

Jackson is really not that large of a city. It has been proven many times there is no safe neighborhoods in Jackson. People cannot name any neighborhood where there is little crime. Some areas are worse than others but the best are worse than most cities.
It isn't the fault of those who have moved to safer areas. It is the fault of those who have decided they want to stay in Jackson no matter how bad it gets. They are the people who are letting crime take over the city. They elect the crooks they call city leaders.

Anonymous said...

November 3, 2016 at 10:36 PM "...I cannot understand..."

You're right.

Google Earl said...

If you have even the cheapest metal detector, you can locate shell casings almost anywhere west of State Street all the way from Highway 80 to the tracks behind Target. So what difference does it make where, in this instance, they were found? Hell, they're everywhere!

Meanwhile: To 9:21...Gluckstadt is nowhere near Livingston where Jeff Good has chosen to bring his cheezy pizza joint.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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