Sunday, November 13, 2016

Sign the petition

Several readers sent this petition to JJ that is on the Change.org website.  Oxford's Joshua Horton posted a petition to reform how we treat substance abusers.   Mr. Horton urged Mississippians to sign the petition in this message:


I just had one of the hardest conversations I've had in recovery with the mother of a young man who lost the battle with substance abuse this morning. God bless you ma'am. I had just spent the evening with him and he was fighting. A 20 year old, Ole Miss student lost his life, and we as a community lost again, due to our inability to confront a disease that claims the lives of more young people than any other single factor.  What is it going to take to realize that the stigma and criminalization associated with substance use disorder is killing people and destroying families? Please consider joining me in addressing this issue in our community, state, and nation. Have no mistake about it, we are in the middle of a war, but we are not addressing it effectively. We must provide the resources, education, and tools to proactively combat this epidemic. We're going to start with the defelonization of simple possession, and instead of jail time, mandated treatment by PROPERLY run treatment facilities, of which there is essentially nothing in Mississippi provided by the state for offenders. Then, access to community resources for recovery upon release.


The actual petition states:

Substance Use Disorder Policy Reform. We have an epidemic in this nation, and especially here in the South. Our young people are dying at greater rates than ever before. Substance use disorder is now the leading cause of death for young people in this country. Mississippi incarcerates more people per Capita than Russia and China combined. Over half of our inmates are incarcerated for non-violent substance abuse offenses. We are not providing reasonable recovery resources for our communities, our children, and our citizens. A young man lost his life because he was afraid he was going to prison for a brain disorder that he could not control. He should have been taken to treatment. Not to jail. Please help us address this. Incarceration only serves as crime college for substance use disorder offenders. Take it from someone who knows. What is it going to take to realize that the stigma and criminalization associated with substance use disorder is killing people and destroying families? Please consider joining me in addressing this issue in our community, state, and nation. Make no mistake about it, we are in the middle of a Drug war, but we are not addressing it effectively. We must provide the resources, education, and tools to proactively combat this epidemic. We're going to start with the defelonization of simple possession, and instead of jail time, mandated treatment by PROPERLY run treatment facilities, of which there is essentially nothing in Mississippi provided by the state for offenders. Then, access to community resources for recovery upon release. I have written a Thesis on this issue at Ole Miss, and have met with state officials proposing much more detailed solutions than can be gone into within the framework of this letter. It is time to act. Complacency is killing us.

The petition can be found here.

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jails, institutions or death. No way around it. So, if we even have PROPERLY run treatment centers the axiom holds true. Question? How many relapses do we fund? Is there a three strikes and you're on your own? I agree that we need to decriminalize simple possession for weed and legalization does fight against the criminal black market. But, the harder drugs are backed by the worst of the worst within the criminal world. And those at the user level are more likely to commit crimes against others. Therefore we need to escalate the war on drugs for opioids and cocaine by stopping it at the source, better border security and cracking down on gangs.

Anonymous said...

This is a very deep subject. It's hits home with a lot of families. We can begin by stop allowing our govt (CIA) to use weapons and drugs for their dirty deals and allow the higher ups in their ranks to personally be held accountable for cutting deals with cartels to fund their ops. But we know this will never happen. I'm sure I will get censored.

Anonymous said...

This IS a complicated subject, and I'm not an expert in the treatment of substance abuse. However we don't need to shift the blame off those that CHOOSE to roll the dice and made drug use part of their life. I never "experimented" with drugs because I was scared as hell of the consequences. When we make it socially acceptable and then make the devistating outcome something else's fault we are opening the door for more of the same. If you make the decision to make that part of your lifestyle then you should face serious consequences. That would at least reduce some of the use. Treatment solutions just create a revolving door from my experience with those that take the route. Sometimes we have to look in the mirror instead of looking to point fingers.

Anonymous said...

I will try one more time to give another opinion.

If you choose to have children you should take it upon yourself to provide a safe environment and teach children right from wrong. Any study of drug users will show most start on the road to drug use when they are young. Children do not have the knowledge or experience to make a decision on something that could have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. Parents are supposed to make decisions for their children until they mature enough to make rational decisions for themselves.
Many parents do not choose to make the decisions needed for their children. There are many reasons they choose not to do so and the list is growing every day. It is much easier to avoid these decisions and blame the results on someone or something else.
When parents decide to become parents we will see a drop in drug use.

Anonymous said...

I would suggest to parents of druggies, that they MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE - a state which offers excellent 'services' to addicts. Mississippi's cut-to-the-bone 'services' really are a powerful incentive, for the RECKLESS & FECKLESS, to move away.

Washington State absolutely coddles addicts. They get free EVERYTHING. Plus, on the western side of the Cascades, it seldom gets too hot, and seldom too cold. So, when your precious Kourtni-Ayn Snowflake, or your all-boy-real-boy former-fuhbawl-standout Jason-Chad Butchflake succeeds in rendering you unemployable by wrecking your credit, - and finally bankrupting you, your cardboard box under the bridge will be neither sweltering nor freezing.

I started training our kids, really young. When we watched zombie movies, I explained that the Zombie was a metaphor for the Addict. Once someone turned into an addict, that person was no longer who he/she had been. They turned into monsters. "You see what they have to do to Zombies - even their own children? One little bite, or one drop of blood in your eye, and you turn into a Zombie. Try a drug, even once, and you could turn into an addict. You won't have us anymore. You won't have ANYTHING, anymore. You won't even have your SELF, anymore. YOU will be dead, with some THING living in what was your body."

Personally, I think that death from an overdose is the best possible outcome, for an addict. This "campaign" is a thinly disguised money-grab, for lucrative programs whose aim is to extend the wretched and destructive lives of addicts.

Anonymous said...

Legalized weed is not helping.

Anonymous said...

This petition is riding the back of a tragic action by a young kid. The action was not drug related and there is no reason to try to connect the two. Shows the extent that some will go to try to accomplish their political goals. (Hows this one? You censored the other two.)

Anonymous said...

Build the Wall. Shut down the black tar heroin. Go after the pharmaceutical companies and the pill mills.

Anonymous said...

There have been times when the author of such a petition would be labeled a "bedwetter" on this blog.

Anonymous said...

I'm tired of these people who call it a disease. Go to MD Anderson and tell all those cancer patients that. Pot is 6x more powerful today than it was way back when. It's no joke. Pay for your own treatment. Stop doing dope. It's that simple.

Anonymous said...

But, but, but - drug use is a victimless crime! How can anyone be dead?

Anonymous said...

so more govt is the answer.

Anonymous said...

@4:19 gets it. A 20-year old made a tragic decision after being arrested for another DUI. This has nothing to do with marijuana and everything to do with alcohol and consequences overwhelming a person.

If you want to take on a cause -- and watch your toes here -- start with the alcohol culture that you celebrate so much. The "everything is better with/revolves around alcohol" attitude is not only wrong, it is more than most of your kids can observe and then handle appropriately themselves.

I dare you to go to your next tailgate in Oxford and drink club soda from your solo cup just for one game. Watch your friends behave like drunk assholes and then ask yourself what kind of message your kids are getting, and consider the cycle you are helping to perpetuate.

This has nothing to do with the CIA (@10:45, smh), the DEA, the FBI, the NBA, the NFL, MLB, or products with BPA. Most of y'all can just look in the mirror if you want to see the problem.

Anonymous said...

And, since it is bound to come up, no I am not a teetotaler. In fact, I had plenty of unforgettable nights that I couldn't remember when I was younger, and I still enjoy a regular glass or two of wine or a beer. The difference is, life doesn't revolve around drinking and when planning an event, the first thought isn't "who's bringing the alcohol."

Anonymous said...

The treatment industry is a racket. A bunch of hucksters that are selling a 12 step bullshit and getting the addicted hooked on drugs like methadone and suboxone.

Anonymous said...

Addiction is real. It's complicated and it doesn't just impact the poor or weak. Mississippi is the backwoods of healthcare, leader in horrific treatment of the humans we jail, at unprecedented rates, and more. I'm not a liberal bet wetter. I'm a seventh generation Mississippian who used to be proud of my state, but no more.

For those who are really interested in this subject and enlightening yourselves - pick up the book Dreamland. It's a sobering account of the opioid/heroin epidemic that has been building up in this country since the late 1990's.

The real question is: Where are the pharmaceutical companies when money IS absolutely needed to pay for the rehabilitation of the millions subjected to addiction by their illegal and unethical marketing? They are still banking huge profits while the public picks up the emotional and financial burden of their scourge.

And BTW....Ole Miss is supposed to have an addiction prevention program in place. Along with several other universities in this state. Don't know any details of said programs and/or how effective they are.

Anonymous said...

How about stopping the problem before it gets this big. All it takes is parenting. That should not be so hard to do. Think before having kids. If you are not going to take care of them why not skip the having kids part? Drug use starts early. Stop it before it becomes a problem.
Look at it in real life. Very few kids wait until they are 18 before getting hooked on drugs or even alcohol or smoking. Before then they should be protected from these things by their parents. If you are not able and willing to do this one simple thing let others have the kids.

Anonymous said...

Treatment is probably not the answer in all cases, but locking folks up for using a substance sure as hell isn't working. If folks want to use drugs, fine, but I'm not paying to lock their ass up. There are more drugs in prison than on the streets! Now, if they commit a crime and hurt someone, lock 'em up. But unless and until then, it's a personal problem.

Anonymous said...

Damn - has nobody on here promoting 'treatment' and 'locking up isn't the answer' ever bothered to learn about Mississippi's Drug Courts? They offer the opportunity for treatment rather than being locked up. Hell, they even offer the opportunity for the poor kid that got his third DUI not to go to jail. We have the programs already in place. This damned petition is nothing but a self-serving promotion by the guy that wrote it. Read it. Half the 'petition' is about himself.

And - I'll say it again, although it will probably get me censored - again. This isn't about the kid that took what he thought was the only way out and caused much tragedy for his family and friends. For the petition to try to ride that senseless act for unrelated gain is pathetic. Kingfish, you should take down or re-write the headline.

Anonymous said...

Oxford is a town where the mayor has napkins made with "Good governance through martinis" on them for official use. Where posters bray, in true Grove fashion, "We ain't never lost a party." Howorths openly brag of being DUI. This culture is destroying Ole Miss, the students, and the town. One boy goes to UM, drops out in a semester, failing classes, drunk and high all the time. Another goes to a different school, and eventually grows up, graduates, and thanks God he didn't go to Ole Miss. Alcoholism is a deadly disease, and, coupled with the soft on drugs culture, it's killing Ole Miss. I'm not a teetotaler, but the fact is that 30% of Americans never drink, and another 30% drink one drink a month or less. Stop the insanity with booze. Much less legalizing dope. Money may be the root of all evil, but booze and drugs are the catalysts. And our "flagship" school is falling down and sloppy drunk. Sober up.

Anonymous said...

@10:03 you sound like one of our forward thinking statewide elected officials. #mississippiproud

That's right. It's the parents' fault. Certainly the pharmaceutical industry, lobbyists, lack of regulation, lack of accountability, greed, lawlessness, the uncontrolled southern boarder and our society as a whole has zero blame in the opioid/heroin epidemic sweeping the nation. Zero. The community cannot and should not be expected to provide support for "good" parents that find themselves confronted by the horrors of such addiction. Instead we should blame them and their addicted children. #love #christianattitude

Anonymous said...

I've been censored three times but will try again. The author of the petition is self serving, mentioning his resume twice at least in his senseless petition. Not that it even made sense otherwise. And the thing is too damned long to garner any support. He is attempting to capitalize his goofy idea on the backs of a tragedy.

Now, *POOF*, my post is gone.

Anonymous said...

1:44, no one is forcing the kids to start taking drugs. There are even laws against it. Parents should know if their child is taking drugs. Some do not care enough to notice. All of the things you mentioned have been around for quite a while. Some kids seem to be able to avoid using drugs. Some parents actually care. Others will use your list to add to their list of people and things to blame. It is only the lives of their child that is in danger.

Anonymous said...

@2:30 Legalized weed is not in MS, so what's your point?

PS - it should be, might help with our destructive alcohol culture.

Anonymous said...

8:14 pm

Legalized weed is legal in other states.....and it travels across state lines....easily.

prescription meds parents take are as problematic....kids get those and develop habits.

Add alcohol....not hard to see why addiction numbers are increasing.

Good news is that these things tend to solve themselves....it's just messy.

Anonymous said...

Of course treatment is a racket. So are nursing homes. So are medical clinics. So are toll booths, and hunting license charges and computer repair shops. Next?

The petition is self serving and predatory.

Anonymous said...

Saw on the news this morning that marijuana use weakens the muscles of the heart.

Anonymous said...

Agree with the parental awareness and involvement comments.

Looking back, we would have been referred to as 'helicopter' parents. We saw others who's kids called them by their first names and were always allowed to 'figure things out on their on'. Rarely were they corralled or guided along.

I don't believe our kids ever thought of going down that road - the others, I'm not so sure.

Anonymous said...

To say that parents don't have a place in curbing drug, alcohol, sex, food, gambling, shopping, electronic device addictions and more would be foolish. However, kids DO experiment. Parents cannot be with their kids/teenagers 24/7. To say that good parents should be blamed for their children becoming addicted to highly addictive drugs (after 1st use) is just plain ignorant and irresponsible. #mississippiproud

What part of the opioid and heroin epidemic has been missed? It has impacted MIDDLE CLASS WHITE AMERICANS at alarming rates and continues. It is a community issue. #compassionmatters

Where Did My Baby Go Wrong?.. said...

The attitude of 'The Pineapple Generation' in suburbia certainly doesn't help. They had these kids but abdicated responsibility early on. They actually believe their responsibility begins and ends with the provision of a neat sports car with an Ole Miss tag, trendy clothing, a boob job for their sixteen year old who is whining about small tits and getting junior in a private school. Then it's off to the tennis courts or the part time job at the Lamp-Emporium or another place where only the elite shop.

Anonymous said...

Anybody ever considered a Sanctuary City set up for our problems here at home?

Anonymous said...

Love the power of the anonymous pen. Ignorance at its finest.

Hannah McGraw said...

I am appalled. I have grown up around addiction my entire life. I grew up with an addict father, and my brother carried on the disease. They don't want to be addicts. They don't wake up everyday wanting to be the people they turned into, they hated being them. My 20 year old brother fought so hard and lost the fight just 6 days ago. The disease was bigger than him, he couldn't handle it any longer and he committed suicide on November 10th. And you want to tell me that my mother is the problem? She did everything in her power to keep him away from drugs. We were educated on drugs and alcohol from a young age and saw a clear example of addiction from my father. We saw how it ruined our family and my brother never wanted that. My brother was in a 90 day treatment a year ago. My mom walked on fire and jumped through hoops to get my brother the best help out there. But this was something bigger than him. We have lost a son, brother, and friend to addiction. IT IS REAL. Please educate yourself and see that. Our tax dollars are already going to the prison system so why don't we take those tax dollars and get people the help, tools, and education they need to fight and overcome this terrible disease called addiction. It is clear that you haven't had to deal with addiction and I am glad you haven't. But the reality is that you probably do know someone struggling with it.

Rivers Sissy,
Hannah McGraw

Anonymous said...

I agree @ 10:39. This really has nothing to do with parenting. Anyone who has made that comment obviously hasn't had to live through this horrible disease. What about when a 50 year old has a drug or alcohol addiction? Is that also due to parenting? I've known some of the best parents and the kids grew up in an amazing household but they still struggled with addiction. You are born with this disease and yes it IS a disease. It can kill you, just like any other sickness. It hurts your loved ones just as much. You want so badly to just tell the addict to stop but it doesn't work that way. So, to those who are blaming parents, stop. It could happen to you with your child and let's see how that makes you feel when someone starts pointing fingers.

Anonymous said...

Addiction has nothing to do with parenting. It IS a disease. It can kill you, just like any other sickness. It hurts your loved ones just as much. I have known some of the best parents whose kids suffered from this. I've known amazing children whose parents had to suffer from this also. So if you're 50 and have this disease, is it still your parents fault? Alcoholism and drug addiction is hereditary and it IS very serious. People who are blaming addiction on parents obviously have not had a child struggle with this. Just imagine if this happened to you, maybe that will teach you to have more empathy. It really hurts to see a comment like that on a post tying to save lives. And it really hurts those who have lived with addiction, lived with an addict, or grew up with an addict parent.

Anonymous said...

What is self serving about a young man trying to help others? You are misinformed and uneducated @4:46.

Anonymous said...

Addiction is a disease. You can try to blame anyone you want, but until you or a loved one has been in the midst of an addiction, you will not understand. To further complicate the issue, a young persons brain is not fully developed until his or her late 20's. Regardless of loving intention, firm teaching, and good examples - bad decisions will be made. What this petition strives to do is to reform the penalty to match the circumstance. Some form of marajuana is legal in 38 states, yet possession is a felony here. This is a call for compassion and reform. Judgement and condemnation should be left for the courtrooms.

Anonymous said...

Addiction is a sickness! These children need help. They don't start out as criminals but I know in many situations they become criminals. However throwing them in the jail with criminal scum isn't the answer! The state needs a program they can turn to for help, not a correctional facility. I am not sure how you people think throwing these sick children into a place where criminals are kept can help their situation at all. If people in jail want drugs, I am sure they can get it!

What this world needs is JESUS! Stop judging people and have a compassionate heart and pray that a program for addicts will change lives and maybe they can make a difference!

Anonymous said...

Addiction is a sickness! These children need help. They don't start out as criminals but I know in many situations they become criminals. However throwing them in the jail with criminal scum isn't the answer! The state needs a program they can turn to for help, not a correctional facility. I am not sure how you people think throwing these sick children into a place where criminals are kept can help their situation at all. If people in jail want drugs, I am sure they can get it!

What this world needs is JESUS! Stop judging people and have a compassionate heart and pray that a program for addicts will change lives and maybe they can make a difference!

Anonymous said...

Unless you have lived with an addict it is hard for people to understand what that is really like. No one wants that life for their loved one especially a child. It has nothing to do with your parenting skills it has to do with a hereditary condition that sometimes can't be controlled. It is easy to cast judgement on others from behind an anonymous computer. The thing that is lacking in this world right now is love and compassion. Instead of casting judgement on the author of the petition, or the parents of these children, maybe you should try and understand how hard they are fighting to save their child. Parent need to wake up and realize that when you are pointing fingers at someone else's child and labeling them you are no better than a bully yourself. What is that saying when you point fingers, you have 4 pointing right back.

Anonymous said...

WWJD?? (WHAT WOULD JESUS DO??) That is the question we should all be asking ourselves. Unfortunately, people are so judgmental and eager to place blame on others . Until something happens that affects their family, they just don’t get it. You just don’t know how you would feel until it happens to YOU!

While it is easy to point fingers, make sure you know the facts before making accusations. This family is the most supportive and loving group of individuals that I know. They love each other, especially Rivers, more than anything in this world. In addition to loving each other, they love our State of Mississippi – and always give back to our State and support so many local charities.

Lauren and Hannah, keep fighting for what you believe in! Your tenacity and love for Rivers will see you through. The children that are fighting this disease or will have to fight this battle will be forever grateful to you!

Please continue to keep this sweet family in your thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

WWJD?? (WHAT WOULD JESUS DO??) That is the question we should all be asking ourselves. Unfortunately, people are so judgmental and eager to place blame on others . Until something happens that affects their family, they just don’t get it. You just don’t know how you would feel until it happens to YOU!

While it is easy to point fingers, make sure you know the facts before making accusations. This family is the most supportive and loving group of individuals that I know. They love each other, especially Rivers, more than anything in this world. In addition to loving each other, they love our State of Mississippi – and always give back to our State and support so many local charities.

Lauren and Hannah, keep fighting for what you believe in! Your tenacity and love for Rivers will see you through. The children that are fighting this disease or will have to fight this battle will be forever grateful to you!

Please continue to keep this sweet family in your thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Did someone just point a finger at the parents, drop the mic and hashtag #love and #christianlife??

As the song goes,“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

I'm not judging you for judging the parents, but as someone who loves Christ, I wish you would consider His lessons before you throw stones at the wounded.

I hope your life is never touched by addiction...I can tell that, as of the date of your post, it has not.

Anonymous said...

Many factors determine the likelihood that someone will become an addict, including both inherited and environmental factors. Addiction is 50% genetics and 50% poor coping skills. Your genes aren't your destiny. Healthy coping skills are the key. Addiction is not a weakness. Young people, who don't have these coping skills, are not equipped to handle life's pressures. They don't know how to deal with failure when they have never experienced failure or had to suffer consequences. They may be trying to please the impossible-to-please parent, teacher, friend or coach and suffer tremendous anxiety when they fail. It's also exhausting for kids to be so rigidly controlled. They feel like they are always letting someone down. Young people, who don't know how to regulate their emotions, especially anger, can turn to drugs and/or alcohol. They can't deal with their impulsiveness and this can lead to bad choices--sometimes deadly choices. These forces can also cause irrational thoughts and rob a person of the ability to see any possibility for change. It leads to hopelessness. Also, anyone who spends time in environments where there's plenty of drug use and drinking are vulnerable to addiction, especially if they don't have the right coping skills to make good choices. Repeated drug and alcohol abuse re-wires the brain to want more. This happens whether you are genetically predisposed to become an addict or not. 90% of addicts share a diagnosis of mental illness. It is a disease and should be treated as such.

Anonymous said...

Drug courts in Mississippi do exist and they help drug & alcohol addicts. He could have had this as an option.

Would love to see that this tragedy change the culture . . . Yes, the culture of partying and parents allowing it . . . even purchasing it for them. Remember, that their brains are still developing. If they start it when they are young, their brains will crave it. Be an example for our young people.

Praying for this family.

Anonymous said...

A person is not born with the disease of drug abuse, there isn't such a disease. The person who was raised in a home where there was drug abuse should have learned from just observation. If they failed to learn there is not much hop we, the tax payers, can change that. All of the help we could give would not even be close to the living examples they saw when young.

The person who wants to mix religion with drug abuse does not know much about either. Much like the person who does not want a drug addict put in prison with "prison scum" for committing the same crime as the "prison scum".

There may be a few but the vast majority of drug addicts decide to take their first drugs all by themselves. The majority of drug addicts start early in life.

Anonymous said...

@1:43 on Nov 14th - It's funny that you think the problem only exists at Ole Miss. Let me guess, you're referring to yourself being the boy who grew up, graduated & thanked God he didn't go to OM? You comments show pure ignorance! Drugs & alcohol are at EVERY COLLEGE!!! MSU has had their share of deaths due to drugs. From what you're saying, you believe OM is dytibg from this problem. Might want to ask your doctors & lawyer where they graduated from.

Anonymous said...

@5:35 ole miss has changed, and that's just it. It's not the same as it once was. I talked to a visitor who is young and had never been to Oxford, they said, "there are drugs at each corner you turn, someone is always trying to get you to try something." Ole miss is a great school, but the drugs and drinking have gotten so bad.

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Loading...

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.