Wednesday, November 1, 2023

Robert St. John: When in Rome (Mostly)

BARBERINO-TAVARNELLE, TUSCANY— One of the travel codes I abide by is the when-in-Rome-do-as-the-Romans-do dining philosophy. No matter where I am in the world, I always make it a point to eat where the locals eat. I try to adhere to that in other aspects of travel besides dining. There’s nothing more obnoxious than Americans coming over here expecting everything to be as it is in America, even demanding it, sometimes.  

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some Italophile who thinks everything is better over here than back home. Far from it. I love my country, its people, its food, and its traditions to my core, especially my home state of Mississippi. Texans are noted for the pride they take in their state. I have that— times 10— for Mississippi.

I had an aunt and uncle who lived in Virginia. They also had an apartment in Paris and a house in Normandy that they kept after he was stationed in Europe after World War II. They had high exposure and great world traveling experience, but every time the entire family got together it was, “France this and France that,” and “Everything was better in France” over what we do in America. They would even speak French to each other at the table knowing none of us understood. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my aunt and uncle. But that was obnoxious in reverse. 

In 2011 I made one of— if not the best— parental decisions I’ll ever make. I took my wife, 14-year-old daughter, and 10-year-old son on a six-month, 72 city, 17 country jaunt through Europe. On that trip I had three hard and fast rules for the kids: 1.) No American fast food. 2.) No video games. 3.) No American television. It was a great six months, and the kids had no problem sticking to those guidelines. We ate as the locals ate, where the locals ate, no matter if we were in Barcelona or Dubrovnik.  

Though on Thanksgiving that year I called a one-time audible to the three-rule dictum and let them eat at the Hard Rock Café in Venice. They had been troopers for months and had earned an American meal. To be honest, I enjoyed my burger as much as they enjoyed their chicken tenders and nachos.

For the first six years I worked over here— even on my days off— I stayed true to the edict I had laid down for my family years earlier and stuck with all Italian food all the time during my six to eight week work stints. 

These days I get one day off a week while hosting tours and in between groups and I usually go to my friend Paolo’s restaurant, Caffe Degli Amici, in the center of town. It’s the restaurant where my son worked when he lived here. It’s as local as local gets. I typically order pasta Amatriciana, Arrabiata, or several other of Paolo’s mama’s excellent recipes. But this spring when fresh peas were coming in, I noticed that they also had purè di patate (mashed potatoes). I was in the middle of a four-week run of true authentic Italian food. I reverted to my childhood whimsies and ordered “purè di patate and piselli” (mashed potatoes and English peas). I’ve done it several times since. 

Sometimes I get fried calamari as my entrée (theirs is the best I’ve ever had) and is good with a little extra-virgin olive oil drizzled on top instead of marinara as a condiment. But lately it’s just mashed potatoes in English peas.

Right now you’re probably thinking— “He’s over in that great country with all that excellent food, and he’s eating the most basic of basic vegetables sides— mashed potatoes and English peas. Isn’t he the guy who lives by the when-in-Rome-do-as-the-Romans-do dining philosophy?” You would be correct in thinking that. Though Paolo’s is an authentic, locals-only Italian restaurant. Also, you would be reaching that conclusion without knowing my love and adoration for that specific combination of vegetables, the history behind why I like that particular mishmash, and its scarcity in my adult life.



My father died when I was very young. I have almost no memories of him. Though, in my mind’s eye I can see him tapping on the side of a spoon as he put sugar in his cereal. I do remember that he brought me a Bit O’ Honey candy almost every day when he came home from work, and he always made a nest of his mashed potatoes, put his English peas in the nest, and ate them together. I must have seen him do it because I have always done it that way, too.

The fact that all of my memories surrounding my father involve food speaks volumes.

I grew up eating mashed potatoes and English peas in my childhood home. It seems as if my mother made mashed potatoes most nights. My grandmother served mashed potatoes and English peas with fried chicken on Saturdays. 

My wife and kids have a substantial disdain for English peas. They are never served at dinner in my house. We eat a lot of mashed potatoes, but if I’m going to have English peas, I’ll be preparing a solo batch. 

So, when I saw fresh peas on the menu at Paolo’s last spring, I jumped at the opportunity to order them, mashed potatoes, too. I sat and ate with a huge smile on my face while others around me were dining on pasta and risotto. I have ordered that combination several times since, and every time it takes me back to my childhood dinner table.

I spend roughly 10 weeks a year working in Italy. That’s around 200 authentic, local, true Italian meals a year— breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I stay true to my when-in-Rome-do-as-the-Romans-do dining philosophy (mostly). For the first five years or so I never wavered. These days I tend to venture out a little on my days off. The mashed potatoes and English peas would be one example.

There’s also a unique Asian fusion restaurant in the small town of Barberino-Tavarnelle. There are only a couple of thousand people in this town, but they have a world-class Asian restaurant. A local man married an extremely talented Japanese chef who has serious skills and touch in the kitchen. If that little restaurant was in my hometown of Hattiesburg, I’d eat there three times a week. It’s an Asian-fusion concept that blends, Japanese and Italian. Sometimes she’ll throw in Mexican. Sounds strange, but she pulls it off with a 12-item menu that changes daily.

Yesterday on my day off— after 20 days of pasta and other Italian staples— I enjoyed one of the great poke bowls of my life. It was perfect. It was beautiful. It was exactly what I needed.

When I host guests, I stick to the plan— all authentic Italian, all the time. I want to cover all the bases and check all the boxes with them. But these days, and especially after a few weeks of solid Italian, I allow myself a little culinary grace and venture out. Sometimes with brave new horizons such as Japanese-Mexican-Italian fusion, and other times with a longtime staple with fond memories— mashed potatoes with English peas.

Onward.





Calamari Salad


2 ½ lbs.               Calamari, sliced tubes and tentacles
½ gallon              Water
¼ cup                            Dry white wine
¼ cup                            White vinegar
4 each                           Lemons
2 TB + 1 tsp                 Kosher salt
1 TB                    Whole black peppercorns
1 sprig                          Italian flat leaf parsley
1 sprig                          Fresh thyme
2 TB                    Red wine vinegar
1 TB                    Tarragon vinegar
¼ cup                            Extra virgin olive oil
¼ tsp                   Fresh ground black pepper
½ tsp                   Fresh garlic, minced
¼ cup                            Italian flat-leaf parsley leaves, loosely packed
2-3 each              Large leaves fresh basil, chiffonade

In a 2 quart stock pot, combine water, wine, white vinegar, 2 lemons, 2 TB salt, peppercorns and the sprigs of parsley and thyme. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and add the calamari. Leave in the water for 3-4 minutes to partially cook the calamari. Strain and spread out on a pan to cool completely. Discard the poaching liquid.
Stack the basil leaves, roll them tight, and slice thin with a sharp knife (chiffonade)
Once the calamari has cooled, combine with the juice of the remaining 2 lemons, red wine vinegar, tarragon vinegar, oil, 1 tsp salt, black pepper, garlic, parsley leaves and basil. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for a couple hours. Serve chilled. 


 



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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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