Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement this evening.
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Jackson Shutting Down?
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- Door shuts on another life
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
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- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
32 comments:
Ok so Govenor Reeves isn't closing the liquor stores but we Rankin drunks will be effectively cut off or have to drive to Ridgeland. Not cool. Time to horde liquor.
This is in violation of the US Constitution. This is a totalitarian impulse.
-The Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment prohibits the states from interfering with life, liberty, or property without a trial at which the state must prove fault.
-The Contracts Clause prohibits the states from interfering with lawful contracts, such as leases and employment agreements.
-The Takings Clause of the 5th Amendment requires just compensation when the state meaningfully interferes with an owner's chosen lawful use of his property.
-The First Amendment demands protection for the right to associate and the judicially recognized right to travel - both of which are natural rights.
We are accepting the devil's bargain.
The Patriot's Act is another example of government over-reach.
Note: The 14th Amendment does in fact apply to the states, except for the immigration clause.
None of these elected "officials" have a clue about human nature.
Most (law abiding citizens) have been following the rules.
But tell em' they CAN'T do something, and many of them will purposefully violate said rules.
Then . . . the situation will get much worse on so many levels,
Antard can go f*%k himself. Ain't sheltering in place. Period.
Lol @ this piss poor constitutional law analysis.
Liquor stores?? Will they be open?? KF make sure you do your public service and let us (me) know .. this is why i give you donations .. don't let me down. Salute
9:52 x 2. I'll add that those who won't follow the rules to save lives probably won't start following them just because the government says they have to. I think it will require enforcement for those folks.
"Ok so Govenor Reeves isn't closing the liquor stores but we Rankin drunks will be effectively cut off or have to drive to Ridgeland. Not cool. Time to horde liquor."
Rookie - stay stocked up! liquor, guns, ammo and MREs!
this Is an epic April Fools joke
Bad case of lumumba derangement syndrome in these parts.
@9:47, you need to go to Professor Modak's office hours and brush up on your modalities.
"Ok so Govenor Reeves isn't closing the liquor stores "
What's your point ?
Chock's staff can't even repair a water line break in front of the State Capitol.
Everytime I drive by his new digs in Eastover I will be hammering the horn.
Excellent. Will get some places to close that should have closed weeks ago.
@11:19
Lumumba doesn't live in eastover. Although he does live in gated community near that. I went to St. Joe with him and I've known him a long time. He's not nearly as smart as he thinks. Also, it's a good thing his daddy had loads of money otherwise he would be moving grass. I own 7 payday lending locations and he likes to lecture me on it. Maybe if he understood the business more or if he directly would lend the money with no collateral to these in need I wouldn't have to be open. He's a moron.
When I visited my family last year in South Jackson we had to boil water before we brushed our teeth, there seriously was raw sewage with turds and tampons flowing down the street, and a pothole so big in front of my grandmother's house that a neighbour's friend destroyed her car in it and now this Lumumba is taking care of business? I grew up there, intended to die there and to see it now pisses me off. He can't keep turds out of the drinking water but will save Jackson from Coronavirus.
9:47, a declared state of emergency does give him this power and a state of emergency has been declared by none other than the president of the USA. In fact there was a good editorial in the journal yesterday stating how it was the founding fathers' intent to push decision making in a time of crisis down to the state and local level at times like this. Now, the Supreme Court can chime in on whether this is truly an emergency situation, but I think we all agree that it is.
Jackson clearly needs to shut these places down before we become New Orleans. Did you see the pics of the big party on Northside Drive on Saturday night? Maybe a thousand people?
If Jackson locks down then you might as well lock the entire state down.
My sister had to incubate 8, yesterday at a hospital in Hammond, the most she ever did on a shift in 13 years was 3, it's just a matter of days before it overwhelms hospitals and staff here too.
5:12 AM,
Can you provide a link to the Northside party pics?
@2:54 he didn't buy that house as a rental. Though I'm sure some on the purists would consider him to be in Leftover now rather than Eastover.
...but I think we all agree that it is.
Nope, I don't agree.
If Jackson locks down then you might as well lock the entire state down.
Why? Why must the whole state lock down? Be specific.
OK I know many of you dismiss the mayor of Jackson.
But, yesterday President Trump said there would be 240000 deaths or more from this virus if you don't follow instructions and urged you to reduce that to 100000 by listening to your mayors and governors orders and following CDC guidelines. ( find news conference yesterday).
For those thinking your young age means you won't die:
CDC Morbidity and Mortality report last month was that 1/5
of those between the ages of 20-44 who tested positive for Covid19 had been hospitalized and 2-4% were in ICU.
I know you won't believe foreign press but England is actually tracking youngest age of deaths without a known underlying condition. It was age 19 and yesterday it was 13.( There have been autopsies and DNA studies in hope of finding out more about how this virus works).
I guess you missed ESPN a lot lately because internationally about 100 athletes have died and they've gotten mentioned. Google " Athletes and coronavirus deaths".
I was horrified at those of you who attacked the Chinese doctors who are trying to help us with information. If they were born in China ( or other foreign countries, they have to be rock stars to get a medical license or go to med school programs in this country). And, damn y'all, China is further along, reporting their research findings and who in the U.S. can read and translate that better than a doctor whose first language is Chinese?
And, for the Darwinist:You have misinterpreted the easy catch phrase " Survival of the Fittest". Fitness is about the ability to adapt and evolve to changes in the environment in every species including homo sapiens ( humans). You don't seem very fit to me if you can't recognize this as a change in your natural habitat and adapt.
Armchair Constitutional Scholars:
You are picking and choosing sentences out of context.
And, you certainly haven't read the " fine print" written by Madison then as to intent. You have read interpretations of the courts for the last 232 years.( The Constitution gives courts that power with the Supreme Court as the final word). Nor do you seem to remember addition have been ratified since then.
You can exercising your rights responsibly but you don't get to put my life and liberty in danger.
You can't have an "assembly" that assembles to break the law by harming others. Bad news:lynchings are out. But, so far, you are still OK with most verbal lynchings.
Is this Martial Law? The President didn't invoke Martial Law, they recommended self quarantine if I'm not mistaken.
Amazing how people so willingly give up their freedom and liberty to the government.
@ 2:54am
I don’t know Baby Choke and don’t know exactly what all he lectured u on but will assume it was on the
crazy high interest rates check cashing businesses charge.
I used to have a check cashing tenant in a center I managed in Tri-county area over a decade ago.
They were required to post in waiting area what % of interest customers would be charged depending upon
the loan term. It’s been over a decade ago and I may be off some on my %’s here but...in some cases the
APR equaled 300%. Of course, the customers would come back every month and pay it off so...the
monthly interest was 25% in this example. “Gang raping” the lower class with these high interest rates!!
What interest rates do u charge say for a 30+\- day term, for say a $400 pay day loan, at your 7 locations?
I’ll hang up and listen....
@8:15
Specifically to flatten the curve. And if only Jackson is locked down then the disobedient elements will just flee to adjacent cities that are not locked down like Ridgeland, Flowood, and Pearl.
Please define geographically the boundaries of " near Eastover".
You must be including anything between Ridgewood and I-55 and from Lakeland to Old Canton.
" Eastover" has been turned into a negative buzz word on this site and if you are including the other side of Ridgewood, you are being deliberately divisive.
That is actually pretty ironic as many in Eastover financially contribute money to and politically support your " causes" and candidates. You might want to pay attention to the votes at their precinct.
As usual, a bunch of low-IQ red necks pontificating racist BS. Somebody needs to back to law school - or, perhaps 9th government class - and actually read the Constitution within the context of the current situation. I taught con law at a law school and, yes, the Mayors of Flowood and Jackson do have certain limited powers to enforce stay-at-home and curfew orders, in times of a bona fide emergency.
All this hate towards Lumumba still amazes me. Certainly, he is a rookie, and certainly he has made mistakes as Mayor. I would not put him high on the list as one of our "great mayors." (You'd have to go back a ways to find one of those). But, Jesus, all this racist contempt and hatred us just so unnecessary and inappropriate. If you disagree with the guy, fine. But, really, some of you guys are just plain old stereotypical rednecks.
Of course, the ones who attack me in response to this post are the ones I'm talking about. It's like a dead giveaway, you think?
9:57 then when you get it please turn down any help from a doctor or nurse
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