Health Department is holding a presser right now. It just announced there are six cases of Wuhan Virus in Mississippi. I am posting below from the presser. It is live-streamed at department 's FB page.
* Two adults in Forrest County. One from Before County.
* Tests are available. Turnaround time is 24 hours.
* Practice social distancing.
* Dept. Is not going to name hospitals where patients are.
* Test is free at Department of Health.
* Department has about a thousand tests but doesn't anticipate any shortages.
* Vast majority of patients won't get sick or have mild symptoms.
Friday, March 13, 2020
6 cases
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
48 comments:
It's all over. This would be a good weekend to visit your grandparents and boomer parents and make sure they have an updated will.
Make sure they haven't spent all of your inheritance on Franklin Mint "collectible" Trump coins and trips to Branson, Missouri
These guys have been listening to Trump, next week this time they will need 10k test and there will be over a 100 cases. This can be stopped, it needs to it start with the governor and his family self quarantining.
I have 4 N-95 masks and I am taking bids. Only serious bidders please.
Dr. Paul Byers. Went to school with Paul. Smart fella but he was the class Clown in school. Guess you never know.
I can't wait for Randy Jackson or Tolby Keith,to come up with a new song about the virus....
I just returned from Branson.
It's not my cup of tea, but as a Boomer . . . my 92 year old Mother wanted to see a couple of corny shows up there before she dies.
I hope 5:21 will do the same for their mother one day,
And yes, I must say the toilet paper supply up there is fine.
I only saw two car loads of "twenty somethings" freaking out about ass wipes in the Branson WalMart parking lot.
( Shaking my proud gray Boomer head ).
6:20 PM I have a four pack of double ply Cottonelle.
Today, employees at the AG’s Office were told that they could not have personal effects of any kind in their offices. Fighting corona one piece of child’s artwork at a time.
@6:20
It's a barter system now. Cash is contaminated. I've got a 20rd box of 30-30 and some expired Fancy Feast. I put half a can on crackers and it was pretty good.
@6:20
It's a barter system now. Cash can be contaminated by the virus. Listen here trader, I've got 5 hand loaded 12 guage shotgun shells and 2 cans of Fancy Feast. If the masks are still fresh then I will throw in a rope made of human hair.
5:21 you’ve been misinformed your whole life. What my parents do with their is none of my business. I hope they blow all of it on whatever makes them happy. I didn’t earn it and they don’t owe me a damn thing. You spoiled brat.
Illinois is closing all Casinos for 14 days. The same thing would blow up Mississippi’s budget.
I despise this blog.
6:36....our beloved AG was posting on social media yesterday about supporting Trump on some trade treaty, 1,000% unrelated to the pandemic that is consuming the news 24 hours per day. Talk about disconnect?
WWHD? What would Haley do?
He would stand in front of a podium 3 times a day and make definitive statements and sound like an adult is in charge.
I have not seen Gunn nor Delbert at all, and Tate's presser made me want to move.
Isn't it interesting that it has taken almost a week for our public schools to almost come to a decision to close next week, long after all of the universities? They all have announced "they are closely monitoring the situation" which means "please God don't make us cancel school because what would all these kids and parents do"? We have standardized tests next week.
Never mind that most high schoolers are on spring break this week and are spread out across the southeast and will be bringing who knows what into the class rooms next week. The left hand does not know what the right is doing. Where is the leadership? STATE WIDE leadership I mean!
The same thing would blow up Mississippi’s budget.
Thank goodness the idiots urging that we dip into and drain the rainy day fund weren't given the time of day.
NOW Fat Melvin says he's going to run for office if he gets out of this alive. ROFLMAO
Cash only, I got plenty of bullets and flushables
7:06, you drip, 5:21 is spot on. Because the oldest old folks are just living too damn long these days, they are becoming burdens on their aging children, requiring attention long after they really should be dead. So naturally, we hope to inherit a nice bit, as a reward for dealing with them. What’s really infuriating is when they run out of money by living too long, and start draining OUR funds. Maybe this covid19 will put a much-needed stop to that runaway train, and thin the ranks of the burdensome elderly.
You MAGA retards did this to us, and no amount of screaming "fake news" and "hoax" can save us now. By the way, Mexico (16 cases) is considering closing the border with the U.S. (2000+ cases).
Madison/Rnkin or any other schools not closing next week are really not thinking this through.
If only 25% of the students and staff traveled to an area where there are infections and 1% were infected you will have hundreds of infected folks spreading out across the state in our schools. Louisiana's students haven't been on spring break yet and the have closed all schools for a month. They have under 40 cases with the highest concentration in NO.
If this ends well for the board of Education and Tater, I will applaud them.
Is Dibbert using this crisis to shut down the Capitol so he can take control and limit free speech and ones right to petition government?
Catholics have been given dispensation from attending mass. Why can't these folks understand that it's about stopping the spread and flattening the curve.
11:23 - I will kiss your ass on the hospital steps if Mexico closes our common border (which doesn't exist anyway).
This is a new type of flu but it’s NOT the Yellow Fever or say HIV!!
Good God people!!
If our country acts like this (over this) and spends over $10 billion on this....what will
we do when we actually have something hit us...in say 5 or 10 years...
which actually DOES cause millions of people to die from it??
From what I’ve read about this...the older people are the most likely to contract it
and have been the ones who have died from it. And...some of them were already sick
BEFORE they got it!
If this is the case...we should’ve made everyone over age of 65...and anyone younger who
has immune issues....to stay home for 4-5 weeks...instead of everything which
has gone on thus far.
This $hit is about to torpedo the economy! Plus...we just added many extra billions
to our national debt....which no one seems to give 2 💩’s about anymore.
Whatever.....
Over Reaction.
All the steps being taken are premature.
No one has the gut to say Take a breath & Relax.
These actions being taken should be used only when the no. of case gets to 10000.
Anyone else listening to the police scanners for Rankin and JPD? Holy shit!
11:25 AM You are the one not thinking it through.
The Tipping point shouldn't be 6 individuals with the virus. It should be 5000. Don't panic buying, or staying isolated for now. If/When it get's worse than take measured action.
Parents can't handle a 2 week spring break.
Nine positive and a million to go. Let's just hope that the under 50 population doesn't freak out and that the over 60 population hides long enough.
Madison County just shut down schools until 3/30
Looks like they have come to their senses in Madison.
So when does Martial Law with Suspension of Habeas Corpus kick in? Just asking for my friend.
KF, that is 6 MORE cases , so 8 and you ignored the percentages of positive tests in the total test results available.
I want to ask those dismissing the risks, to look up the revenues last year for the Master's Golf Tournament, the NBA 2019 season, and the NCAA's revenues for March Madness and ask yourselves " Why did they cancel BEFORE the National Emergency was declared?" Hint: They didn't have to cancel and local losses are in the hundred of millions so don't waste your time looking for nonsense in local and State governments.
IF you are focusing on how many die and how old they are in a pandemic, you are ignoring the big picture. It is about economic costs and systems that collapse under the burden of so many people getting sick.
So keep assuming that you are exceptional and smarter than those in affected countries and other States at your own peril. Panic doesn't help but ignoring reality has worse results. Look what ONE idiot caused in New Rochelle, NY. Do you really think his friends and neighbors don't know who to blame for them being sick or quarantined? You think despite the Health Dept.'s failure to give out info on those testing positive, it won't make the grapevine in MS?
You might get away with having the virus and not being identified as a culprit who spread it, but good luck with that when those around you get sick and talk among themselves!
"Health Department is holding a presser right now. It just announced there are six cases of wuhan Virus in Mississippi." The document shown indicated all were Presumptive not confirmed, at least at that time of printing.
@9:41 folks will have to learn how to adjust. Remember Katrina people on the coast figured it out and are stronger for it today.
since 10/1/2019, there have been over 33 million cases of influenza in the US and over 22000 deaths.
Ain't taking no test, ain't self-isolating, ain't gonna be told when and where I can go anywhere.
All kidding aside, Tater better put himself in quarantine and just let Delbert handle this for a little while. Absolute idiot traveling to Spain in the midst of a pandemic. Spain is locking down today and people can only leave their homes for “limited circumstances”. Has the second highest number of cases in Europe behind Italy and the fastest rate of infection. Lock down the Governors mansion now.
I got curious and decided to open one can of Vienna sausages and one packet of ramen noodles that I bought in bulk. Both are absolutely disgusting. This isn't food, it is a culinary hate crime. They made me vomit. I don't think I'm going to make it.
@12:14pm - Congratulations on posting a useless stat on an unrelated virus.
Copy, paste, and read the article below and do something beside watch Fox News boomer, it might save your life.
https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2020/3/13/21176735/covid-19-coronavirus-worse-than-flu-comparison
Vox? LMAO Now there is an unbiased source!
Pappy, obviously you need to restudy your Government 101 class. Tate is in the state - self-quarantined but in the state. Dilbert is not in charge, no matter how bad he wants to be, thinks he ought to be, or tries to be. The Governor can function and operate as Governor while self-quarantined - its not like he is going into surgery, or out of communication for a period of time.
Operating as a responsible individual and self-quarantining himself and his family after being overseas is not only reasonable and also positive leadership after encouraging others to act similarly. To abdicate as you suggest would be the opposite, even if it were someone other than Dilbert that would be in charge in his place.
Spain just shut down. If you honestly think the number of real cases in this state is currently 6 or under 20, you need to quit speaking.
How do you tell a nation of people that the only way to stop the rapid spread of a virus is to implement measures that would grind the economy to a halt? Not so easy in America.
AG said no personal effects in offices so when one of Fitch’s Bitches comes to fire your ass, they can get you out of the building faster.
How does that 60's song go? Yippee we're all gonna die.
@12:14 PM Coronavirus saw your flu stat and said "hold my beer"
I'm more concerned about catching a one day stomach flu than this concocted thing that kills 95 year old women.
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