Monday, May 8, 2017

Epigrams and Interludes

or a postmortem on the elections in Jackson and the burbs that took place last week. 

My favorite chapter of Nietzche's Beyond Good and Evil is "Epigrams and Interludes". The philosopher chooses to collect a wide array of various thoughts and place them into one chapter.  I have decided to post my observations about last week's elections in the Jackson metro area in the same vein instead of writing one big monster column.  Enjoy.


The election showed that sometimes losing is indeed the best medicine.  Chokwe lost three years ago.  Lesser men would've been heartbroken by such a loss and moved on to do something else.  Not Mr. Lumumba.  He got leaner and hungrier.  He had to look in the  mirror and decide how badly he wanted to be Mayor of Jackson.  Apparently he wanted it pretty badly because he spent the next three years working towards that goal.  Lean & hungry + money usually wins races.   Wanting it more than your opponents usually helps as well.

It also didn't help that one candidate had a controversial record as Supervisor.  Another one had the Jeb Bush & Hillary problem: low energy and unable to answer the question: why are you running.  The incumbent was rejected by almost everyone.  Maybe it would have been a surprise if Chokwe had been forced into a runoff.  

***

What happened in Madison?  Several candidates backed by you-know-who ran against the Queen and a majority of the incumbent board of aldermen candidates.  They qualified, created a fuss, and then got real quiet.  What exactly was going on?  Mayor Mary would've crushed Matt Armstrong but it all seemed a bit surreal.

***

Never discount the importance of campaign staffs.  Mayor Yarber won in no small part three years ago because he had a very good campaign team: Aaron Banks, John Morgan Hughes, Theresa Kennedy, Pam Confer, and others.  That team was nowhere to be found this year as they all disappeared.  Robert Graham's campaign manager was an attorney who had not run campaigns before.  Senator John Horhn had some veterans on his team but they ran a campaign that focused on advertising in the media.


The old adage that all politics is local is always try in municipal elections.   Chokwe pounded the pavement while his opponents pounded the airwaves and had weak get out the vote efforts.  

***

Speaking of pounding the pavement, did anyone notice the out of state volunteers who invaded Jackson during the final weekend of the campaign?  Buses and buses of people arrived in Jackson to wave signs and go door to door for the victor.

***
Someone has to say it.  Dear Mr. Owner of Several Restaurants in Northeast Jackson.  The white folks see you as a white liberal Democrat who lives in Fondren.  However, the black folks see you a little bit differently.  You are the white guy who owns a fancy restaurant where the rich white Republicans hang out.  Guilt by association, perhaps, but it is what it is.  That is why your endorsements work against you in Jackson elections.

Me? I see you as a risk-taker who never gave up on Jackson and invested in the community.

***

The other surprise took place in Pearl.  It is not often that one sees a two-term Mayor losing a re-election bid in Mississippi.  Small-town Mayors are usually set for re-election once they get past that second term. However, the challenger in Pearl whupped the Mayor and whupped him good.  One could see this tsunami coming over the last couple of weeks but it seemed as if the Mayor didn't really campaign that hard.

Now the question will be seen if Jake will sell out to apartments.  Take some free advice Mr. Mayor-elect: Drive through Northeast Jackson.

***

Irony.  Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. celebrated his victory in the same place where Tony Yarber  celebrated three years ago.

***

Chokwe followed the path of most rabble rousers and merely said he would "include the people in everything".  Um, ok.  That is a nice slogan, it's appealing, and says almost nothing.  What exactly were Mr. Lumumba's promises?  Did he actually say anything?

***

Mayor Tony Yarber.  What could have been.  A good campaigner who was well-liked by more than a few people.  He made the mistake of stuffing his administration with cronies who were suddenly in the best jobs they ever had.  Suits, paychecks, Fuelman cards, and city vehicles.  Let the good times roll.  The Mayor never had a real bloc of support on the city council and all too often didn't have those one or two councilmen who will defend the Mayor's interests that every Mayor expects to have.  Too often, he was fighting the City Council all by himself.  Too many contracts became bogged down when political favors, real or imagined, were written into them.  Then there were the lawsuits.  The sexual harassment lawsuits filed against him and a staff member pretty much torpedoed his chances to stay in office. The lawsuits filed against Hinds County Sheriff Victor Mason hurt him as well.  It seemed one set of lawsuits would pop up in the news when the other faded, serving to disgust voters while never allowing them to forget. 

It seemed at times that the Mayor had to be the smartest person on his team. That is usually a fatal mistake in anything in life- politics, business, and especially sports.  Look at how many of Nick Saban's assistants go on to better jobs. Sulla has Pompey, Crassus, and Lucullus for generals.  Some of Harvey's people went on to bigger and better things.  Some of the current administration's head honchos will be hard pressed to find jobs at all.  The Mayor probably should have cleaned house but did not do so and  it probably cost him dearly. 

***

Remember that, Mayor-elect.  Don't be afraid to hire people smarter than you.  That is probably the best, unsolicited advice this website can give you.  Oh, and be prepared to say no to your own supporters when the situation demands it. 

***

It is actually nice to see the new Mayor and his wife.  They clearly are not just a husband and wife but are partners in life.  There are so many phony marriages, worn-out marriages, and disastrous marriages that one should appreciate the real thing in our leaders when we see it.

***

Canton, did someone say Canton?  There is a runoff between the champ, Arnell Bolden, and the champ he beat four years ago, Dr. William Truly.  Truly was an incompetent Mayor.  He even threw someone in jail for daring to videotape a Board of Aldermen meeting.  Bolden represented a reform effort four years ago but the effort apparently fizzled out in the Canton mud.  However, the real prize of Canton is CMU.  It has a cash reserve of $12 million and apparently can borrow up to $45 million.

The Blackmons took their lumps in 2013 and played the long game. They got control of the Board of Aldermen and then were ready when the forces of Karl Banks and Rudy Warnock invaded.  The invaders got control of CMU but the Blackmons took it back several months later.

Now it has come down to two runoff elections.  Arnell found himself without a home when the Blackmons and Warnocks went at it.  Kind of like Clint in A Fistful of Dollars but Bolden is not the Man with No Name.  He has apparently sided with the Blackmons.  Did anyone notice the Blackmons didn't have a candidate yard sign in front of their office as they usually do during elections?  Rudy and his side backed Greg Green for Mayor but Green lost.  However, there is still an alderman seat up for election.  Ironically Rodriguez Brown, Ike Brown's nephew, faces a challenger.  Brown is on the Blackmon bus.  However, the election is the engineer's best chance to get control of the Board of Aldermen as his already has three supporters on the board.  June 6 should be fun in Canton.

***

"We have economics by the people for the people or economics by a few people for themselves."  Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. quote from election night.   I'll be happy if this crowd actually understands economics.


"We’re going to show support to South Jackson. If the people in South Jackson aren’t treated right, the tax burden will fall on the people in North Jackson." Chokew Lumumba, Jr. quote made a few minutes later.  There might be hope.

***

Then there is this gem by Madame DeLadd:


Nice to know we are living inside of her head, rent-free.  This site hasn't really said much about her over the last two or three years but apparently the reverse is not true. There is a difference between the two of us.   I've never said anything about her sponsors, much less attack anyone for advertising at the JFP. JJ does not want to shut anyone down or up. However, the same can not be said about her in relation to this website.    Her comment is so dumb that it doesn't deserve a comment.  When there is more than one candidate in a race, then there are going to be more losers than winners.  This site gets over 200,000 unique visitors and 600,000 page views per month.  That is why they advertise, not because they loooove me so much.  Quite a few winners have advertised on this website over the years- black and white.  By the way, what is the JFP's track record for endorsements?

***

So much for the Costco Effect.  Ridgeland Mayor Gene McGee had his share of flaws.  He lied about the Costco project.  He got burned on the apartment fight.  There were also some not so flattering emails that popped up in that fiasco.  County Line Road has deteriorated somewhat over the years.  However, crime has not gotten worse.  Other cities are trying to imitate Ridgeland when it comes to parks and recreation.  Only one alderman lost his seat.  There was a great deal of sound over the last year but not much fury at the polls.

***

Jackson was at it's best when the business community worked with the political leadership.  The building of the Rez and the airport are prime examples of this cooperation.   For all the talk on WMPR about the white folks and the downtown power structure, there has been little such cooperation for over twenty years- and it shows.  Mayor Johnson and the business community did not get along.  It backed Frank Melton but realized real soon he was nuts.  Mayor Lumumba was not in office long enough to make a difference one way or the other.  Mayor Yarber was supposed to be business-friendly but the business community backed Horhn for a reason.

***

Speaking of Mayor Yarber, did anyone notice how poorly he did in Wards 1 and 7?  Those two wards formed a huge part of his base in 2014 but disappeared for him on election day.  White turnout fell substantially from 2013 and 2014.   Hmmm...... how many white people did the current administration hire as employees or appoint to boards?

***

Note to Mayor Lumumba: When you look at a job position and its allotted salary, please make sure that the salary does not include benefits before you promise it to someone.  Someone else made that mistake last year and found out the hard way that the "salary" also included the benefits.  He thus went way overbudget and had to terminate a bunch of employees within a short period of time- including those who were promised jobs.

***

Will the Talk of the Town still present an "Uncle Tom of the Year Award"?

***

Perfect example of how dysfunctional city government is: Parking meters.  How many years has Jackson been trying to figure out how to revamp the parking meter system? How much money has been lost? Meanwhile, the Mayor and City Council yet again go back and forth over parking meters. If the new Mayor and City Council can't quickly work through problems such as this one, it will be a very long four years and Jackson will continue to fall apart.

***

Give Mayor Yarber credit.  Crime got better under his watch and people realize that the crime problem rests upon the shoulders of the judges and prosecutors.  JPD arrests the perps but they keep getting back on the street thanks to catch & release.  Will the new Mayor keep Chief Vance?

Mr. Lumumba held a press conference at Robert Shuler's Smith office and defended him when he was arrested by the Attorney General.  Will the District Attorney now have control over JPD? Hmm..... did anyone notice that the D.A. did not campaign for Mr. Lumumba?   Where was Robert?

***

What was interesting about the Jackson Mayoral election was that the serious candidates all raised enough money to compete well.  Horhn, Yarber, Lumumba, and Graham all raised over $100,000.  That is usually enough to compete well and get the message out in such a race.

***

The new City Council will be Melvin Priester, Jr., Ashby Foote, Virgie Lindsay, Charles Tillman, Dekeither Stamps, Kenneth Stokes, and a player to be named later.  Believe it or not, its an improvement from the days of Louis Armstrong and Credell Calhoun.  Think about that one.

No Jackson candidate said anything about getting a handle on rentals.  Nothing was said about strengthening neighborhood associations.  Just general statements about crime, economic development, and infrastructure.   So much for what makes other communities desirable. 

***

Few have notice that the trend in Jackson over the last few elections has been to throw out the Mayor.  New blood won the last three elections.  New blood made the runoff in 2013.  The voters apparently don't like what they see in Jackson and have no faith in the retreads.  2021 challengers need to keep that in mind.

***

None of the candidates said anything about imitating what successful cities do well.  The Clinton Mayoral candidates kept mentioning "like in Madison" four years ago during a debate.  No similar sentiments were mentioned in Jackson this year.   We apparently want to bang our heads against the wall until we figure out something might now work.  Heaven forbid we should save ourselves some time and trouble by seeing how other cities have overcome similar challenges.  Nope.  Jackson First also means Jackson Only.   

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Crime got better under Yarber's watch". Hmmm.

How does D.I.Smith manage to stay in office as a Ridgetown Alderperson? He's the clown who conspired with Andy Taggart to win the one-term Supervisor's seat in MadCo as Taggart was exiting the scene. If not for his grin and ability to tell you about his military service, of what possible value is he?

You forgot to mention the Ole Miss student who is still in the running for Madison Alderman. His platform basically promises to give the LGBT community equal rights up there in that city on the hill. Otherwise, He'll be in class and cleaning erasers after school. All the other Alders remain seated. Rudy's man John Howland never surfaced once after he qualified. But Rudy has an unlimited pool of money to piss away, so there's that.

Queen Mary fed John Bell Crosby to the Reservoir Alligators four years ago and threw them the remains of Matt Armstrong this time around. Trent didn't school that boy too well.

Canton will remain the shining turd in the spinning toilet for now. Who gets control of the CMU money will be the subject of a Grisham novel. Will the money buy a fleet of SUVs with black windows or more Bentleys? Stay tooned.

Kingfish said...

Give up the D.I. hate. He won fair and square. He won that seat in a special election and beat all comers. Won it again the next year with no opponent and again this year.

Anonymous said...

post more like this

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this random political article.

Anonymous said...

Same ol' shit coming....broken sewers, broken roads, broken criminal justice system.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you on the parking meters. Its not worth any political attention. The new administration needs to stop the fiscal bleeding. The big issues are a plan to have a water dept that earns more $, proper management of the city workforce, the consent decrees, and a long term plan for infrastructure. Avoiding unwise political battles with the State of Miss., the business class and the city council would signal the mayor is focusing on moving the ball downfield. Antar must be the play caller with a city workforce behind him that will demonstrate loyalty to the City and follow-thru. Antar has the discipline to be an excellent administrator.

Anonymous said...

The Jackson restaurateur endorsing locally or statewide is the equivalent of Hollywood actors endorsing at the federal level. What makes him qualified to offer his opinions and endorsement any more than the next everyday Joe?

Anonymous said...

The Jackson restaurateur truly revels in his minor celebrity. He's far less influential than he thinks he is, at least outside the food bidness.

What's the fastest way to get trampled in Jackson? Stand between said restaurateur and a camera. Or a microphone. Or a radio station studio. Or a kid taking a snapchat selfie.

Anonymous said...

What makes "the Jackson restaurateur" more credible than " everyday Joe" is the following:
1. He is smart and well educated.
He wrote a first class business plan to get investors to for his first restaurant and paid them back with a favorable interest ahead of schedule in a business that has a high failure rate.
2. He puts his time and money where his mouth is. He doesn't just whine about the state of Jackson, he is out their contributing to making Jackson a better place to live.
3. He gets things done by inspiring others and by example, not by bullying or threatening.
4. He has a good reputation that he has earned and those who criticize him can't seem to say anything that isn't thinly veiled envy.

I may disagree with him on details from time to time but I respect him and listen to what he has to say because he thinks and gathers information before he opines. And he doesn't need to engage in personal attacks but can attack and action or idea.

Anonymous said...

If your a white Jackson businessman and have the 'will to power' or want to be a public servant, you have to demonstrate political sensitivity and intelligence to become an insider now. Business leader habits cannot get you an appointment to a public board necessarily. A significant political campaign contribution might...coupled with the confidence of the mayor that you are aligned with their political aims. If your political sensitivity is more like a credit union rather than a commercial bank, you have the sensitivity to serve the mayor elect. A Jackson Rotary businessman has no concept of the social development needed in Jackson. They don't know what a 'food desert' is much less what a public school is.

Anonymous said...

I'm being hopeful that Lumumba's lack of specificity was intentional so that he could build the coalition he needed to win without a runoff. Details are bound to alienate someone. His ground game looked good. His poll worker in Belhaven was a younger white woman, and I can't imagine that wasn't intentional. Didn't vote for him, but I'm hoping for the best.

I don't get the hate for "the Jackson restaurateur." Don't know the guy, but I do have respect for what he's done. The couple of times I've crossed paths with him he seemed nice enough. Can't say the same for the editor of a certain alternative weekly. I keep waiting for her to pull her mask off and reveal she's Andy Kaufman pranking us all. She is such the stereotype of a condescending liberal elitist that it almost seems like it would have to be contrived.

Anonymous said...

A couple of points KF...I am not sure when you last dined at Bravo but over the past few years Mr. Good's clientele has become as black as it is white. Secondly, where do you expect the those rascally "Rich, White Republicans" to dine, at Tater Mae's Soul Food Emporium on Wood Street?

Louis LeFleur said...

Interesting post, KF. Personally, I'd like to expand this to Macron's election in France, but I guess that doesn't really fit here.

Anonymous said...

White folk are welcomed at Fred's(former Tay's) on Palmyra St. They serve breakfast to a lot of black working people just like Broad Street Bakery does to the white working folk in the whiter wards. If more Republicans got into the black businesses you would see that black folk are going to work each day like everyone else.

Anonymous said...

"Well, Nietzche said 'out of chaos comes order' "

Anonymous said...

What makes "the Jackson restaurateur" more credible than "everyday Joe"?

Nothing really. But that doesn't stop him from trying. I'm no celebrity, but people who know me want to know my thoughts on elections (or so they say). I bet people who know you want to know your thoughts. A personal "endorsement" from someone who pays attention goes a long way with people who are not paying attention. I suspect the restaurateur knows more people and encounters more people than I do. If he thinks sharing his opinion can influence people, good for him for doing so. More of us should do the same.

But I do think the idea that a lot of people will oppose someone only because he supports someone gives him too much credit. Sure, some. But I'd expect it to be a net gain for his person.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Jackson's new order of raw sewage running in street gutters, sporadic availability of potable water and gravel roads.

Anonymous said...

Identify the Jackson restaurant guy. Ball up!

Messick said...

Anonymous at 8:17 A.M. (the first one);

What is "the social development needed in Jackson"? Please be specific.



Anonymous at 9:16 A.M.;

When you state, "If more Republicans got into the black businesses", do you mean they should 'go into', 'patronize', or 'frequent' the black businesses? And by that, do mean black-owned businesses businesses and/or those with a mostly black clientele?
The grammar used has thrown me off.



Thanks ahead,

Messick

Burke said...

First-rate post, KF. Donna Ladd is as appalled as I am at some of the comments that show up here (God knows what she would think of the comments you may be blocking out), but I see zero evidence that the blogger is "racist" or "sexist." I'm thinking that most people follow you for the amount of useful and/or entertaining content you provide, especially posts like this one.

Nietzsche was a master of the aphorism, but I still think his books should have a "black box" warning. Even so, I'm glad that you are well read. Kudos especially for the Sulla analogy.

Yeesh, Dude! said...

@7:15 - Someone knows a GOOD bit about the restaurateur. Almost too much. Like creepy stalker amount of info mixed with effusive praise.

Either you are the (not so) mystery businessman himself (which I wouldn't be surprised to discover), or, well...

Anonymous said...

Burke, sweetie darlin', Donna Ladd is rather easily appalled, and about all the predictable things. Yawn. So, you two are comrades in arm(chair)s? Oh, my. Strange bedfellows. If I may be permitted to mix a furniture metaphor...

Anonymous said...

So, a pizza server knows more about Jacktown than the every-day Rotarian? Why so? If you jack shit about Rotary you would know all of them are invested in and experienced in a particular phase of business in the community. Only one per specific occupational specialty is allowed in each club. Go pour out the used grease in the pit.

Anonymous said...

If "the restaurateur" would have gotten in this race, he would've forced and made a run-off with Lumumba. I saw the polling. He saw the polling. 700+ respondents weighted accordingly to demographics with a 3% MOE. He took a pass for his family and other endeavors that rely on him. I disagreed with his decision, but I respect the hell out of him for it. Lesser men would have bowed to the ego stroke. He didn't. I hope he runs in 4 years.

Anonymous said...

The reason the restaurateur doesn't run is b/c he is smart enough to know that it is a failing proposition. If he runs and loses, he loses face. If he ran and won (which wouldn't happen b/c he's the wrong color), he couldn't turn that dump of a city around.
He knows it. I love his spirit and he is a superb marketer and businessman but I do get tired of the Pollyanna preening.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.