Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Speaker will study lottery

Speaker of the House Philip Gunn (R-DOR) issued the following statement.

Speaker Gunn Forms a Lottery Study Commission

JACKSON –During the 2017 Regular Legislative Session, discussions regarding a lottery escalated. At the end of the Session, Speaker Philip Gunn indicated a willingness to form a committee to study the true ramifications of implementing a lottery in Mississippi.

“I have been clear that I do not support a lottery,” said Speaker Gunn. “I have not changed my mind. I do not believe a lottery is based on sound economic policy, and it violates a number of conservative, Republican principles.

“The purpose of the study group is to gather information to show that the lottery is not the windfall that all its supporters claim it will be,” he continued. “I have not had anyone who has voiced support for the lottery provide me with any documentation showing why or how it is a good thing. At the very least, I hope the findings from this group will provide us with information upon which we can make an informed, reasoned decision.”

Today, the Speaker held an organizational meeting with members and charged them with examining a series of questions in the following categories as they relate to a lottery: background issues, operational issues, social issues and economic issues. Future meetings will be announced.

Members include: House Gaming Chair Rep. Richard Bennett; Rep. Nick Bain; Rep. Chris Johnson; Rep. Mac Huddleston; Rep. Cedric Burnett; MS Gaming Commissioner Allen Godfrey; Vicksburg Mayor George Flaggs; PEER Director James Barber and on an as-needed basis Special Assistant to the Attorney General and Counsel to the Mississippi Gaming Commission Lou Frascogna.


Anonymous said...

Why do we need a study???? Go ahead and spend more tax payer money!!!!

Anonymous said...

Sell lottery tickets only at the casinos including the Indian casinos. Win-win.

Anonymous said...

Who gives a rat's ass what the speaker's personal, philosophical or religious objections are. He wants to 'study the social issues'? That can only mean one thing. What do the Baptists think about a lottery.

As he said in his announcement you posted, he's not interested in facts or potential or the will of the people - All he's interested in is, according to his own statement, that which will show a lottery is NOT a good idea.

He belongs on the back of a buckboard selling tonic-water.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid suggestion, 6:28. Severely limiting access to lottery tickets would defeat the entire concept of a lottery. The whole idea, you dolt, is to offer cheap chances available readily to the entire populace. That's the only way a lottery can make money. You Dolt!

Anonymous said...

If the casinos get legal prostitution and pot, we'll be set.

I've got great credit - I'm just really bad at math said...

Like it or not, lottery will replace the illegal scratch off games that are not regulated properly and add accountability; it's called convenience gambling and 6:28's idea takes away ALL the convenience and will make the business model ineffective.

I agree with the state starting a lottery; however, the gaming commission should have nothing to do with it, they can't even be trusted with the work they have now. If Gunn wants to prove his bona fides as a fiscal conservative, he should take this opportunity to shrink the government's regulatory footprint, dissolve the gaming commission and re-integrate it back into the department of revenue (where it started and where it belongs). At the end of the day, the gaming commission, and possible lottery commission, are in place to protect the taxpayer's investment (gaming tax collections) in the industry - it's time to do something smart and consolidate agencies with similar missions.

Anonymous said...

A study is Gunn's way of buying time and putting this issue on the back burner. I have heard him say this before. Prior to that I also heard him say there would never be a lottery in this state as long as he was in power to stop it. Matter of fact, I heard him say on one news program that he would never let the lottery issue out of committee where it could be brought to a vote. Obviously, he believes that he is in charge of and speaks for all the citizens of Mississippi. Actually, he could not be more wrong; it's time for him to go!

Anonymous said...

So the Speaker wants to spend money on a study to learn what every other state knows, it makes MONEY! Wow! WHAT NEXT...reinventing the wheel? The sun rises in the east? Maybe his time would be better spent trying to figure a way out of the Kemper mess or how giving tax cuts to companies that don't employ Mississippi residents is a dumb idea. Study that.

Anonymous said...

"If the casinos get legal prostitution and pot, we'll be set."

I'm in.

Anonymous said...

Ironically on Cartoon Network tonight, episode 20 in season 1 of the Cleveland show covers pretty much every issue discussed on this board including gambling and race. Great episode. If you miss it, grab your state flag and catch it on Netflix soon.

Anonymous said...

I haven't spoken to one person opposed to a lottery. Most will say they don't care to go to casinos, but have no problem dropping a dollar for a lottery ticket. Gunn is being hypocritical and in denial if he doesn't think people of all faiths, including good Baptists, don't make the drive over to Louisiana to buy tickets on a regular basis. It is a shame that one man has the right to force his beliefs on the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

This state will never improve with self-righteous jackasses like this in charge.

Anonymous said...

Sock puppet convention on this one.

Anonymous said...

Don't assume the worst from the speaker. He likely wants the study to support the lottery so he has the study to fall back on. He is not afraid to speak his mind on controversial issues.

The majority of back woods baptist congregations with an average of 80 year old attendees support the state flag but he stepped up against their wishes too. Let him check all the boxes, he will probably run lead on the lottery.

Anonymous said...

Better do something to get the state's financial rating back up. It went down on his watch.

Gunn's Mama Say Gamblin' Is A Sin.. said...

"He likely wants the study to support the lottery so he has the study to fall back on."

Then you obviously did not read what he said.

Anonymous said...

Problem with a state lottery is that people will expect the money to go towards education, and you know there's no way in hell the state would want to do that.

Anonymous said...

Here's how to handle this, Gunn:

Just tap into some of that good ole fashioned Republican fear mongering and tell the Baptists that the evil libruhls are going to tax church tithing donations next if they don't shut up.

And do you know what the sad part about this fear mongering is? It just might become a reality when the state declares bankruptcy.

Anonymous said...

Chumps everywhere.

A lottery is a sucker's tax. It's the state government running ads on TV, radio, billboards, etc. encouraging its citizens to piss away their money on a dream and zillion to one odds. It's so stupid, but here come the idiots in full sound and fury mode, blaming Baptists for why they can't drop $50 a week to scratch off numbers.

Forget the morality angle and just be practical for a moment. It's a con game run by the government. At least casinos are privately run. This is the state government running professional ads that entice you to dump your money in their coffers on a wing and a prayer.

It's like filling an Olympic sized swimming pool full of ball bearings and painting one of them green. For a buck you can stick your hand in and pull out one. Find the green one and you win! Play as much as you like, it's a dollar a shot.

A fool and his money are soon parted. Well, we have a lot of fools here, and they blame the churchgoers for not letting them fully realize their foolhardiness.

But you'll show me when you hit the lotto, right dumbass?

Anonymous said...

I am a third generation baptist. More important I am a Christ following Christian. In case you didn't know those two don't always mean the same thing. I am not crazy about the lottery but I recognize the need and value it can bring to our state, recognizing that it does bring some some people's. Education funding should be a top funding priority as well as reserve funding and general budget to get our credit rating back up. No more boards or commissions are needed. Twenty plus years ago the casinos were sold to the people as the fix - we would never have to worry about education funding again. That was a damn lie. And what do you think all these casino and gaming folks on this study group are going to be looking for? - a way the lottery can make the gaming industry more money and to protect them from losing the wagering dollar to the lottery. That being said, the lottery can not fix education or the budget but it can help.

Anonymous said...

5:45. It's perfect for us because we are a state full of suckers.

Anonymous said...

What a waste of money. Anytime you do a study to support what you have already concluded, it's not really a study.

Anonymous said...

I would be happy to conduct the study supporting the belief that a lottery brings no economic benefit. And I'll also do the study that says it's a great idea. I'll do both. It's not hard.

Where do I sign up?

Anonymous said...

Conservative principles? Um, since when is it conservative for mama government to save us from $5 lotto tickets and when did it become conservative to spend taxpayer money on "studies"?

We have 8 publicly supported business schools full of PhD's and grad students that could do the study. But watch who it goes to.

Anonymous said...

Rather than pay for a "study", why not just find the information yourself on the websites of states that already have a lottery and read?
A Speaker of the House or Governor could pick up the phone and call their counterparts in States with lotteries and ask to be sent the data on their lotteries and even pay for the printing and shipping.

Isn't it a legislator's job to be informed on issues?

Our legislators seem think their job is go to meetings where they are told what to do or have lobbyists or party hacks spoon feed them talking points, or go with whatever some constituent who may have just gotten out of Whitfield tells them. Then they either vote as they are told or based on what they what to believe.

To hell with the best interests of our citizens.

Initiative, reading and thinking are apparently not job required.

I can't wait to see what it costs to gather information that has already been gathered and should take any high school student a couple of days to recopy and regurgitate and print.

And, I guarantee you , when the study comes, few, if any, legislators will read it if its more than one page of bullet points.

Don't believe me? Gather a couple pages of facts on any issue of your choice and take it to your legislator and see if he'll , first, even take it and then watch what he does with it. Revisit him and ask if he read it. You'll get " I'm too busy", " I go with my gut feeling", " I vote based on what I think ", " I vote what my constituents want me to do".

Studies and facts be damned.

Anonymous said...

I've decided the state of Mississippi should be surrendered to the Federal government.

Mississippi is a drain on the country financially. It gets 3x money it sends in and it is still in shambles.

The state leaders urge discriminatory practices and its people are as divided as ever.

Mississippi should be ceded to the Feds whereby it can be cut up into pieces and placed in different states under different leaders.

Anonymous said...

I am in agreement with 7:36! Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry -- I hear from reliable sources that Gunn will fairly consider ALL the leading authorities on the economic impact of lotteries.

That's right: 1 Timothy, Deuteronomy, AND Ecclesiastes.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 5:45 a.m.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

We will try to fund our education system on those who either the system failed or they failed in the system.

We only have a lottery because a couple of senators took a walk around the Capitol at the right time. Legislators need to vote on it. If it passes, it passes. If it fails, it fails. Most citizens don't understand why Legislators don't vote on tough issues like abortion, lottery, education funding, mental health, etc.

Anonymous said...

You know there is a very simple way to get the Mississippi citizens who want a lottery to get their point across. EVERY ONE who is in favor of the lottery should call Speaker Philip Gunn's office and leave him a message with your name and tell him "WE WANT A LOTTERY". The telephone number is not hard to find and if thousands of messages start coming in, it will at least start irritating him.

While I have respect for the Baptist faith, they need to stop imposing their beliefs on those of us who are not. The state of Mississippi is made up of all faiths. If a state lottery would be such a temptation that faithful Baptists cannot abstain, perhaps they best examine that problem.

Anonymous said...

While living in Texas I "invested" $2 to $4 every other week in the lottery. I occasionally got a return on my investment but had a great time thinking about what I would do with the money if a miracle occurred and I won. Did I know the odds? Yes. Did I care? No. It was just a cheap form of entertainment.

Anonymous said...

So people who depend on welfare, SNAP, disability, etc. will take their handouts and give them back to the state on a BS chance at riches.

Sure, it'll make money, but those who piss it away will demand more payments and they'll get bigger handouts and dump more into the lottery, etc.

It's a giant merry-go-round of SHIT.

Go look at who is frequenting our casinos. It's not the wealthy. It's the poorest of the poor who are spending your tax dollars. That's exactly who'll play the lottery.

Anonymous said...

If you aren't willing to accept incrementalism as the path to success you'll never get a bill out of the Legislature nor a lottery.

Calling Gunn's office en masse won't accomplish jack shit.

Anonymous said...


Heddy-Dale Matthias, MD said...

I think this is the first and only thing Mr. Gunn has ever done that I support. I'm tired of driving to Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

I think the fact that we elected Phil and Tate to statewide office is clear evidence that we are a state full of suckers.

Lotto Lizard said...

Hey, Heddy-Dale. You can stop driving to Louisiana. Just give me the money you were going to spend on lotto tickets. You'll win exactly the same amount of money and you'll save gas and tire wear.

As a bonus, if all six of your numbers hit, I'll give you double your money back.

Plain ol' Catfish said...

It's really this simple

Mississippi is bordered by Louisiana, Arkansas, and Tennessee - all of which have a lottery.

The following Mississippi counties are bordered by the aforementioned states - Tishomingo, Alcorn, Benton, Marshall, Desoto, Tunica, Coahoma, Bolivar, Washington, Issaquena, Warren, Claiborne, Jefferson, Adams, Wilkinson, Amite, Pike, Walthall, Marion, Pearl River and Hancock.

21 Mississippi counties - where all they have to do is cross the border and give their Mississippi dollars to another state to go gamble.

The total population of the border counties is well over 690,000 people.

To add fuel to the fire, a percentage of them probably work in the neighboring states - so not only are they paying income taxes to the neighboring states, they are contributing to that states lottery system as well.

Whether you are for or against a lottery, common sense should prevail and tell you its time to create one, where Mississippi is making a concentrated effort on keeping Mississippi dollars in Mississippi, instead of letting them float over to Arkansas, Louisiana, Tennessee, and Florida - considering the number of Jackson metro area residents going to the Redneck Riveria of Destin, Ft. Walton and Panama City Beach on the weekend and holidays.

Wow said...

The lottery is not a good idea. It is an inefficient additional tax at absolute best. At worst, it is just another factor contributing to the cycle of poverty.

Do your research on the lottery.

Anonymous said...

I met Gunn for the first time last October. I have a feeling he is not who we think he is. Talks a good game but there is just something about him that I can't put my finger on. "NOT GOOD" !!!!

We are at the bottom of the pile and legalizing another easy way to get money is not going to help. Legalizing liquor and gaming has not accomplished anything. The State (Jim Hood) has even tried to sue our way out of this mess. We are now known as a litigious state.

Bankruptcy is on the horizon !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fact Checker said...

9:22 -- You do not know what you are talking about. This is the same old myth that the anti-casino Baptists keep tgrying to sell. They also preach in dry counties that if we get legal liquor or even beer we will have men beating their wives and not putting food on the table for starving children. They never point to people enjoying wine or spirits or craft beers responsibly. I have worked in the casino industry and can tell you that what you are spouting is just not true. Casinos want the high rollers and comp meals, shows and rooms to attract this player. Sure, there are bus people and seniors who roll in and eat the buffet and play Bingo or slots and generally have a good time, But no, the welfare crowd isn't packing the casino floors. Have you ever been to Beau Rivage or the Choctaw resort and dined at PhilipM's? I promise you will enjoy some of the finest food and beverages and atmosphere available anywhere. And you won't be surrounded by the unwashed or unfortunate that you seem to envision. and to make it clear -- you can't use SNAP benefits for lottery tickets, or even toilet paper. Only food.

Anonymous said...

The Lottery- Mathemagic.

Anonymous said...

For the lottery to increase state revenue, it has to be money that otherwise would not have been spent on something else, or money that would have been spent on something else that generates less money to the state.

Anonymous said... will increase state "revenue" in the short term, but will not increase state economic output and arguably will decrease economic output due to the fact that the money would have been spent on something else that does create an economic benefit.

This is like pulling money out of the private economy and donating it to the government to spend. Dumbest thing I ever heard.

Anonymous said...

Second best bumper sticker I ever saw:

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

Anonymous said...

@10:51 AM, How about money spent by MS residents on neighboring state's lotteries? Certainly that is money our state is missing out on, right?

10:51 said...

@11:34 - Yes, that's a good point to factor into the equation on how much new revenue we'd actually see. That would indeed be an increase as well as any money people spent outside the state in addition to buying the lottery ticket: snacks, gas, etc.

@11:12 - Good point, too. Not only is it a revenue shift but the product being purchased (a paper ticket versus whatever the money would otherwise be spent on) doesn't generate its own economic footprint.

Not a Baptist said...

There's a LOT of hatred for Baptists here today. Seems like misplaced anger to me.

Do any of you remember when casino gaming was passed? The same arguments were made, almost word for word. It would bring in money. It's being opposed by backward Christians in the Legislature. We won't have to travel to Las Vegas. Our schools will be fully funded for decades. And my's for the children.

So, how did casino gambling work out? Was it the panacea for our budgetary woes that it was portrayed to be? If so, then why are we looking for another magical gambling option?

Some of you could use some churching up, so here's a Bible verse for you: As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. (Proverbs 26:11)

When marijuana legislation gathers steam, they'll say the same things. Legalize pot...for the children!

Anonymous said...

Ok 11:15, what was the best bumper sticker you ever saw?

Anonymous said...

I hate when we start talking about Gunn because his overpaid "chief" of staff (not sure what he is chief of) spends all his time posting to JJ on behalf of his boss instead of doing real work. Oops, I'm not sure what real work he could possibly have to do otherwise. never mind

Road to Riches said...

"We need to build a tunnel to prosperity."

"Well, let's start digging."

"Where shall we put the dirt?"

"Dig a hole to put it in."

"OK, now where will we put the dirt from the hole we dug?"

"Store it in the tunnel for now."

And that's how you increase state revenue through a lottery! Damn Baptists!

Anonymous said...

So how many states have A LOTTERY and have done a STUDY? Why not just read their REPORTS??? Is Gunn some kinda MORON?

Anonymous said...

Ha 12:31...what about the uniqueness of Mississippi versus the other 40 states with lotteries.

Conservative doesn't mean what it used to mean does it?

Anonymous said...

The casino argument has its merits.

At the time Mississippi opened the casino's it was a good because only a handful of places offered legal gambling in their states.

Now that has changed because more places have casino's now. It was the one time Mississippi was progressive and it was beneficial to the state.

However, this is different. We are already surrounded by three states that offer a lottery and Mississippians are turning their dollars over to those states to play.

We do not want Alabama to beat us to the punch and then we'll be surrounded by 4 states with a lottery

With 1.1 million Mississippians living in the border counties surrounding Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Alabama - it is just not practical to push them to play lotto in another state?

39% of the state's population will be able to be a lotto ticket less than 40 minutes outside of their own home and Speaker Gunn is willing to let those dollars leave Mississippi, because of his religious principals?

Jeremiah 7:24 - "Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward."

Anonymous said...

Mistah Speakah,

This study group is such a boondoggle - you've already made your decision...have fun traveling on my dime, make sure you send pictures. I can't wait to read the final report.

Have fun wasting our money you jackass! By the way, here's some reading for you while you're traveling:

Anonymous said...

12:31 the answers to your questions

1. ALL of them, and
2. Yes, the speaker is a moron.

But how else can he and his group travel all over the world to study something that's been studied a thousand times?? This is bullshit and a waste of our money.

Anonymous said...

Nail on the head, 5:45. Legal alcohol was supposed to save us. Where is all that money? Casino gambling was supposed to save us. Where is all that money? And now the losers believe the lottery will save us. You guys really are child-like suckers or put another way, just the kind of low-mentality lemmings that legislators need to pull of their latest scheme.

You really don't think this funding crisis left over from the regular legislative session is an innocent mistake, do you? No, it's the perfect setup for calling a special session and sliding in the lottery on the side. Just watch.

Anonymous said...

@2:48 - not to argue for a lottery (dont really care one way or another), but as to your question of where the money is... ask your legislators. Legal alcohol and casino gambling brought in and continues to bring in a shitload of money to the state coffers. The question is, what did YOUR legislators do with it? Perhaps diverted it to their own boondoggles.Yes, casino gambling was earmarked for education. But that didn't prevent the Gunns, taters and other from diverting an equal amount of general fund money to ??? their whims. Talk about a shell game.

Anonymous said...

Same sock puppet commenting over and over again.

Dane Kitto said...

We need an unlimited sports book at all the casinos.

10:51 said...

Was revenue from the casinos intended for a specific purpose? I've heard people say it was supposed to fund education, but I don't recall that being the case.

Anonymous said...

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

Which means it's basically a guaranteed, endless stream of revenue in a state like Mississippi.

And it's not like, but for a lottery, these folks were going to put this money in a sensibly-managed 401k. One way or another, they were going to spend it on stupid shit. So we might as well be the ones selling it to them, right?

Anonymous said...

The fact people here are even mentioning legal alcohol speaks volumes as to the progress (or lack thereof) in this state.

How about the concept of letting adults be adults?

Why stop at a lottery? said...

Legal prostitution would bring in a ton of money! Border counties could set up brothels on the state line like Alabama fireworks stands to bring in those coveted out-of-state dollars. We could put up a building right off the world's smallest roundabout and rename it the Medgar Wiley Evers International Airport and Whorehouse. Just imagine the tourist trade! We might even be able to lure Southwest back!

If it weren't for those damned Baptists!!!

Anonymous said...

9:32...When you realize its none of your business or mine how somebody spends her SNAP benefits? You sit in judgment and actually believe you have the power to call foul when a recipient purchases something other than hamburger meat. If they want to spend money on a fucking lottery, it's their business, just like it's YOUR bidness if YOU do.

Anonymous said...

You know what else violates a number of Republican, conservative principles? Proposing a gas tax hike. Who was on the study committee that came up wit that conservative idea?

Anonymous said...

Let's explain the "hatred" for Baptists:

*For all intents and purposes, "Baptists" is an umbrella term for politically outspoken Christian organizations*

-Is your county dry or damp? Baptists
-Have you been told to abandon reason and compassion and told to pray to solve a problem that can be cured by logic or surrender your right to pursue happiness in order to please "The Lord"?- Baptists
-Have you been told that domestic violence isn't a grounds for divorce? Baptists (Andy Gipson IS A Baptist).
-Have you realized that Abrahamic religious principles taken literally are completely antithetical not only to a country founded on reason and freedom, but progress itself? BAPTISTS.

Right to bear arms you say? Well the Ten Commandments clearly state "Thou shall not kill".

Yup. The life regulations of the desert god(s) [actually old rabbi's] totally make sense for today. They'll "keep you alive" alright. Don't defend yourself with a gun. Cede your sovereign power to a mis-translated book that's at least 2,000 years old.

Anonymous said...

5:23 it actually is our fucking business - it's OUR fucking money. Those who make their OWN money have the benefit of making their OWN decisions what to do with it. Dammit you're an idiot.

Anonymous said...

So Gunn is going to dismiss objectivity from the get-go...The whole idea of a study is to gather facts and tease out a conclusion, not the other way around - he's a bigger moron than I thought. Just vote against it or block it, don't waste the state's money just to confirm your opinion.

Anonymous said...

So, using 5:23's logic the way the legislature spends the money the state collects in taxes is none of our business, huh? Lawd, this state has some "special" folks.

Anonymous said...

Look here. I am baptist. I don't drink alcohol but I could if I wanted to and it would be all good. I don't gamble but I could if I wanted to and it would be all good. I have friends who do both and I good with that. Some of you folks need to get your panties out of a wad about baptists. We dont have a doctrine against alcohol or gambling. Our doctrine is the holy bible. If you know a baptist who is a jack ass don't group every baptist in with him. Baptist are autonomous which means every church can choose their beliefs and every person can choose their beliefs. We don't have a pope who tells us what to believe. Last but no least, the most important thing is God love you and has a plan for you. Don't miss it.

Anonymous said...

So glad Gunn isn't a judge - he'd disregard evidence to reach findings that match his beliefs. As stupid as he seems, you have to respect his honesty. It's time to replace the speaker with someone who knows how to think.

Anonymous said...

What if Thu Speakah were to craft a bill that would allow 'county option' for lottery tickets. Let those counties that want it, have it and if opposed, don't vote it in.

That works well to keep people from buying liquor if they live in a dry county. Just imagine if all those people in dry jurisdictions were able to get their hands on whiskey.

Anonymous said... will increase state "revenue" in the short term, but will not increase state economic output and arguably will decrease economic output due to the fact that the money would have been spent on something else that does create an economic benefit.

This is like pulling money out of the private economy and donating it to the government to spend. Dumbest thing I ever heard.

You're not the only one who feels this way. Scholars have written about how money spent on the lottery is money not spent on taxable goods and services, which harms the economy.

Instead of giving 7% to the state for a product, you are giving 100% to the state for nothing.

That's why it's called a fools tax, and the fools are here blaming Baptists.

I would respond to 6:44, but arguing with idiots is folly. I'm still trying to figure out what 2A has to do with Thou Shalt Not Kill.

Plain ol' Catfish said...

@ May 5, 2017 at 8:47 AM

Or they can just continue giving it to Louisiana, Arkansas, and Tennessee - keeping Mississippi from getting anything, that sounds better to you, huh?

Anonymous said...

@8:47 --please enlighten this idiot on what's achievable in MS politics to shore up state revenues with the long term goal of getting us off the federal tit? Any practical idea is shot down on the grounds of it violating "true conservative principles". I'm all ears.

The economy is about to slump again and if the true Trump budget is passed, well--we'll find out.

Anonymous said...

@9:55 - legalizing marijuana would directly address the situation you laid out, but it's a non-starter with the holy rollers.

Anonymous said...

wow - it only took 2 days for our resident weed head to chime in (or choom in), you must've been busy "working" ... or something.

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?


Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS