Sunday, May 21, 2017

Dumbass of the Day

Update: Speaker Philip Gunn called on Oliver to apologize:

“I condemn the comments recently posted on Facebook by Rep. Karl Oliver,” said Speaker of the House Philip Gunn. “They do not reflect the views of the Republican party, the leadership of the House of Representatives or the House as a whole. Using the word “lynched” is inappropriate and offensive. We call on Rep. Oliver to apologize.”

One of our esteemed legislators decided to get real stupid on Facebook and that is putting it mildly:

Well, you damn embarrassment to the state of Mississippi, here is a little history lesson for you.  Check out these headlines from 1937:

Oh, and "Senator" Oliver, what do you think General Lee would say about your remarks?


Anonymous said...

1) It's probably a typo, but the first byline reads "Winona, Mass", the old abbreviation for Massachusetts. They do mention Jackson and Hinds County further down in the article.

2) 1937, you say? Germans condemning Mississippi's legal system as compared to Germany's "humane racial laws"? Was this while they were building the concentration camps and gas chambers, or were they in use already?

The guy is an idiot and an embarrassment, tru dat. But Mississippians are content with the status quo, and oblivious o the outside world.

Anonymous said...

He represents Carroll Co. He just ensured re-election.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Oliver is the Representative for District 46, which includes Carroll County. These statements are probably in line with what his constituents want out of their rep.

As an aside (for your own sanity, please stop here if you agree with Mr. Oliver's take on this issue)...

Last month I had to go to the Carroll County courthouse. I was surprised to see the actual Confederate battle flag (not just the Mississippi flag) flying at the very top of the flag pole at the courthouse. It was particularly jarring since I had just seen the "Emmett Till murder trial" historic marker at the Tallahatchie County courthouse earlier that day. I can't imagine what it would feel like to see that flag flying at the courthouse if I were a black man going to court facing criminal charges. It makes you realize that we really haven't come as far as we would like to think when it comes to civil rights and racism. But that probably makes me some sort of liberal snowflake or something.

Seriously, the Confederate monuments are a reminder of a shameful time in our history. I don't know how any Mississippian could read the first two paragraphs of "A Declaration of the Immediate Causes which Induce and Justify the Secession of the State of Mississippi from the Federal Union" and still celebrate Confederate "heritage" and claim that the Civil War was about states' rights - or anything other than slavery. For your convenience:

"In the momentous step which our State has taken of dissolving its connection with the government of which we so long formed a part, it is but just that we should declare the prominent reasons which have induced our course.

Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery-- the greatest material interest of the world. Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun. These products have become necessities of the world, and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or a dissolution of the Union, whose principles had been subverted to work out our ruin."

Anonymous said...

Said topical diversion....

We have Russian agents possibly influencing our president and we want to discuss a 160 year old war.....

Focus people

Anonymous said...

I'll take the opposite position and won't fall in line with Jambalaya's attempt to make this some sort of 'negro lynching' chatterbox thread. Nothing like getting liberals and others stirred up, which was the sole intent of Jambalaya's comments.

I agree that Louisiana's attempt to erase history should be stopped and condemned. I understand the legislature has either put a stop to the removal of statues or is on that path.

Attempting to erase or rewrite history is something not foreign to this land. It's been done before.

People all across the South with louder and more intelligent voices than Kingfish have voiced strong opposition to Landrieu's attempt to solidify his position among the minority electorate. Meanwhile, he has moved out of the house he occupied with his wife and is living with his black employee.

Stir it up, Kingfish. Things are going real slow with your Gold Coast posts and nobody seems to care much about the posts of your liberal correspondent over in Meridian.

And for the record, I don't know a soul who agrees with the notion of 'lynching' anybody of any color for any reason. That was a poor choice of words that should not overshadow the entire sentiment expressed by the gentleman from Carroll.

Anonymous said...

@12:07 a.m.; one thing you seem to miss entirely in your eloquence is this: There was a difference between secession and war. States, Mississippi among them, seceded for several reasons, the issue of slavery among them. However, going to war was not the result of secession, at least not on the part of The Confederacy. The Confederacy did not engage the north in battle over slavery. That engagement came because Lincoln invaded a Confederate State for purposes of restocking a union compound.

You really need to slow down with your bloviation and learn some history. I forgot to tell you that you could 'stop here' if you didn't want to know this.

Anonymous said...

I think it's stupid that they're tearing down those monuments and putting them in a museum, but I don't think the people who signed off on it should be lynched.

If you think what he said was in anyway smart or a good idea, just keep your mouth shut like he should have.

Anonymous said...

5:42 go to your safe space and cry about Hillary !
She was bought by the Saudi's

Anonymous said...

I doubt there would be an effort to tear down these symbols were it not for the obvious racism of this legislator and that of those threatening to lynch a Congressman for calling for Trump's impeachment.

It is these racist fools, many of whom show up here, who have desecrated the flag and dishonored those who fought for the Confederacy.

The irony is that the worst racists here and elsewhere were either carpetbaggers or later immigrants who were low down on the social totem pole . You might want to check out how many of Mississippi's plantations were actually taken over by Yankees but that some of you seem to think were " planters" that fought for the South. Among the few who did were those who didn't actually fight or who collaborated behind the scenes.

And, the other side needs to understand that few of those who did fight actually owned any slaves.

Racists and religious fanatics are a pimple on the ass of humanity.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully these confederate "monuments" can be removed as soon as possible and this sad chapter can be finally put behind all of us. They were never erected for any historical purpose, but rather to HONOR men who joined in a wicked cause (whether they knew it or not) and to show defiance to the government which we now support. I would feel no different if the Germans erected statues honoring Goering or Hess or Himler and tried to justify them in the face of their Jewish citizens by citing heritage and history. The story can be told in museums and history books without placing these icons in places of honor, as if their cause was right. In Germany they have holocaust museums and remembrances of the terror they inflicted not memorials to the "courageous" Nazi thugs. If history is the real purpose then take a page from Mr. Oliver's mindset and erect monuments depicting the many lynchings that have taken place in Mississippi. Honor them too!

Anonymous said...

He is a great example of this Mark Twain quote:

“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”

Anonymous said...

I'm tired of racism mess. For a State that is at the bottom of the poll whatever it is need to change it didn't work back then and sure is not working now. What happened back in the day was completely no regards to human life and it still exist today. The thing is how can you say you love GOD when you will go out your way to destroy one of his creatures which is humans. When I say destroy that can mean kill, lie on, give a bad hand just because of race or just plain old hate someone. When Jesus died on the cross he didn't just die for one race he died for us all. What purpose is a statue if it doesn't bring unity to all when this country suppose to be based on being United. Until we get this out of our minds we will forever be lost. Let's rewind this thing and let whites be black and blacks be white how would you feel. You all are quick to defend yourselves against your actions against the other race but you to smart to realize that if it wasn't for the blacks this country wouldn't be where it is today. You all was so busy trying to control the blacks that you forgot about the other race and now they are the ones running this so called United States (I don't see where it's united tell that to someone who is dumb. You all rather defend a statue which serve no purpose then defend your souls from the devil. You all are so petty. I will say to this divided country grow up and figure out what is important in life and instead worrying about what the other race is doing. Let us all humble ourselves and work together. Money, race or where you live makes you no different than anyone, we all have the same color blood and we all was created from the same dust and which we walk on.

Messick said...


That term, "racist", was invented by a Russian-born, Jewish Communist in the late 1800s. Its purpose was to divide people in Western Civilization in hopes of bringing a collapse to said civilization.

Anonymous said...


- Everyday Folks

Anonymous said...

They will be coming for you Mr. Fish, you are a a snowflake to them now.

Anonymous said...

Will Feel and Tater make a statement, or are they too afraid to upset their base?

Anonymous said...

While we're at it, we need to get all the Lincoln monuments, statutes, and things named after him removed also. Have you people ever read all the mean things he said about "negroes?" Do it while we've still got crews on the clock, I say!

Anonymous said...

Shame to anyone who donated to him. Koch Industries and Empower I'm looking at you.

Anonymous said...

8:44 Hey Colonel Reb. If you go back through real history you'll find that most soldiers didn't really own any stake in the wars they fought. Most were just doing what they were told or forced to do. It was always the interest of a king, landlord, or master that was really at stake. Just because most confederate soldiers didn't own slaves doesn't mean their cause wasn't about the perpetuation of slavery. Who cares what the grunt in the field thinks he's fighting for. The political establishment that sent him to fight sets the agenda, not some soldier who hardly knows where he is. Like one Viet Nam Vet said "I ain't fightin' for no gooks, I'm fighin' for poon tang".

Anonymous said...

I don't know why anyone is surprised by a Mississippi politician making this type of statement. The State still observes Robert E Lee's birthday and our esteemed Governor declared a Confederate Heritage Month. This would be akin to Germany having Nazi Heritage month or celebrating Hitler's birthday.

Anonymous said...

I am so sick and tired of people screaming - "they are erasing history"

How the f*ck are they erasing what was done? If anything, a lot of you are ignoring sh*t that did happen and want to romanticize other parts of history.

For example black confederate soldiers - the legend the myth. Can you honestly say to yourself, that a person held in bondage would pick up arms to fight for his captors? Would you do it?

Then even if there were black confederate soldiers - look at how the south rewarded their so-called service. After the Great Compromise of 1877 - blacks no longer had the civil rights their white counterparts had, due to Jim Crow and Segregation laws.

That's why that black confederate soldier stuff is made up of myths and legends. H.K. Edgerton, Anthony Hervey, Arlene Barnum, and Andrew Duncomb are some people willing to ignore certain aspects of history for attention and paid appearances.

I am not saying Mississipi needs to change the names of streets, towns, or county's, but it is well overdue to redesign the state flag.

That confederate emblem on the state flag is a hate symbol that is only worn or endorsed by bigots and racists.

People will not see Mississippi in a positive light until we take a major step towards updating our brand and image.

Anonymous said...

8:59; Actually the statues were erected in remembrance of those who fought for a separate nation, The Confederate States of America...not in defiance of anybody, Union or otherwise.

Nobody gives a shit what you think about German history either. At a minimum, you should get your US history correct.

Anonymous said...

He should be arrested for inciting terrorism.

Anonymous said...

10:36 - Exactly! By the way, this isn't his first go 'round with a PR blunder.

Anonymous said...

Don't drink and Facebook at the same time. It's dangerous to your political health.

Anonymous said...

The Mississippi Republican Party needs to seriously consider if this is what they want to be. This is no longer the party of Eisenhower or Reagan or any other leaders of the past.

Anonymous said...

The Party got to him, he apologized, Feel and Tater regrettably have stayed silent. That's real leadership.

Anonymous said...

It is not "erasing history" to decide that you no longer wish to celebrate treason against the U.S.A. with public monuments to the traitors. I am a citizen of the United States, and I'm glad my country defeated the rebellion against it.

Let the statues be placed in a museum to help educate people about the South's long history of racism and resistance to law.

Anonymous said...

It is a historical fact that more whites were lynched in America than blacks. Not defending anyong just stating a fact. Mob lynching type of justice was used against all Americans.

Anonymous said...


You need to study a little bit more on history and the structure of the United STATES.

A State attempting to secede from a union of States is not "treason", and there was no rebellion against the United States proper.

Anonymous said...

Landrieu plans to auction off the monuments to the highest bidder, individually or by lot, how ironic. They will also have to approve how you display them and New Orleans' roll in removing the monuments. Even the State of Louisiana has to submit a RFP. I am sure he doesn't have any qualms about shipping them out of state. If one is interested in protecting their heritage they should submit a proposal, otherwise I suspect someone might buy them and grind them up for stone.

Anonymous said...

For starters it isn't the state of Louisiana removing the memorials, polling would indicate that the majority of everybody outside of Orleans Parish is opposed to any sort of removal. The blame here lies squarely at the feet of Mitch Landrieu and the city of New Orleans.

Lets go back about a decade ago where Moonie-boy voted to approve the SCV plates for the state of Louisiana. New Orleans had a black mayor and these monuments were not a problem. What changed? What sort of "come to Jesus" did Mitch and the city have? This sort of thing wasn't even on the radar in 2014.

Mary Landrieu got beat, and hard, during the mid-terms in 2014 by a Republican for her senate seat. That means that the Landrieu name is all but done in Louisiana politics. Then in the Summer of 2015, the Charleston shooting allowed for nothing but grandstanding. Take a look at Mayor Landrieu's speech as Lee came down last week. He's clearly gaming for some higher office in the DNC.

So please, don't clump in the rest of the state with the safe-spacers in New Orleans. Crap like this would not fly in Lafayette, Alexandria or Monroe.

Leigh said...

The statues being removed are about national media coverage for the de blasto of the south. Who goes to New Orleans and pays tribute to statues ? They go to see and enjoy a place like nowhere else. The welfare and harmony of the citizen's be damned... the mayor's aspirations are too important.

Anonymous said...

@9:35 - you know what I'm sick of?? I'm sick of people constantly putting Mississippi "at the bottom of the barrel" without any justification for doing so. in WHAT barrel do we reside at the bottom???? How is our economic position worse than say....New Jersey? Oh...they have a higher avg income? Really??? so WHAT? They ALSO have a much higher cost of living. Do you really think by grossing another $20 thousand or so you are going to make up for the difference in the cost of a house in ANY N/E or West Coast state compared to the cost of a much nicer, much bigger house (with a YARD) in Mississippi??? Puhleeze! Give me my 1850 sg ft, nice yard, granite countertops and ensuite bathroom for under $200,000 and let California keep its 1000 sg ft 1950's mid-century, 3 bd, one (tiny) bath and 100 sq ft back yard for $500,000 while oh-so-progressive New Yorkers live in their 750 sq ft high rise apts that cost upwards of $750,000. Yeah...we are really hurting here in Mississippi, aren't we????

Anonymous said...

Rep. Karl Oliver is a DUMBASS. Everyone that has an ounce of brain matter knows you don't call an African American the "N" word or say they should be lynched.

This dumbass put it in PRINT.

Anonymous said...

4:02 I have worked in Lafayette, Alex, and Monroe and I have never seen a Confederate Memorial.

Anonymous said...

@ May 22, 2017 at 2:57 PM

"A State attempting to secede from a union of States is not "treason", and there was no rebellion against the United States proper."

Nice try, that's an argument "confederate sympathizers" always try to sell to romanticize the actions of the slave owning and defending ancestors.

Albeit, there was never a clause in the constitution to where a state could legally secede from the union and the act not be considered treason. However, states only have the powers to set up internal laws to govern within this union. It does not have the individual power to secede it has to have permission from the rest of the states to do so.

At the rate Mississippi is going, I think we would have a good shot now. LOL!!!!

But Louisiana, Tennessee, and Alabama would simply annex the remaining portions. Tennessee would love to suck up Tunica, DeSoto, and Marshall. Louisiana would gladly take up Adams, Wilkinson, Warren, Hancock, Harrison, Pike, and Jackson. While Alabama would eat up Kemper, Lauderdale, and Lowndes.

Anonymous said...

Well, Mr. Oliver got us back in the national news again. In the words of Michael Corleone in "Godfather: Part 3":

"Everything I thought that I was out, they pull me back in".

Anonymous said...

5:o6; I can't say 'nice try' since it was a really piss poor try. If it was treason why was nobody every charged with, prosecuted for or convicted of treason. Even Lincoln's own cabinet members are on the record as having said each state had the right to leave the union just as they had the right to join it.

All you know is what you hear at Starbucks.

Anonymous said...

5:46 pm

You are a dullard.

The southern states were allowed great freedoms post war to the chagrin of Grant and many others.

Had the north killed all white slave owners and made adequate plans for the slaves we would be a stronger union.

Southerners were given a conciliation ego trip. You fought valiantly and it was romanticized.

Now we reap what was sewn. Divisive to this day and clouded by fools like you.

Anonymous said...

@5:04 this is 4:02 again.

There is a Confederate War Memorial at the Rapides Parish Courthouse in Alexandria, and a statue of Confederate General Alfred Mouton at the city hall in Lafayette.

It won't be long before the hipsters go after them, they've already started on Mouton.

Anonymous said...

@7:13 YEP your right I baited you into pointing them out. Look for the go fund me campaign to get them removed too.

Anonymous said...

@9:16. Well good luck with that, it isn't like GoFundMe has ever accomplished anything major. I have my doubts, because it isn't a godless shithole like New Orleans.

You see, people like you are the problem. You think by cheap branding of "social justice" you are righting some perceived wrong that you or I were never a part of. Sorry kid, but by keeping Mississippi's flag, a CBF, or a statue intact I'm going to act in opposition to these moves to make your self esteem pique for a second before you find something else to complain about. Banter about under your faux-enlightened views of "tolerance".

This isn't South Carolina either, where a shameless panderer of a Governor can use a flag as the boogieman that made a church murderer do what he did, mere days after she was defending the thing. And now we can't even watch the Dukes of Hazzard these days because of it. Alabama just may put the flags back up on it's statehouse if this Monuments Bill they have gets signed. The GOP establishment may pander to fools like you pre-2016, but their days are numbered. As is your precious DNC. As is your BLM too. Mississippi's flags are staying, but your actions and fools like you that populate places like Ole Miss are the direct reason why Trump is now our president, and if you keep it up, you've just guaranteed him another term.

Anonymous said...

6:28 calls someone a dullard for pointing out that states had the same right to leave the union as they did to join the union. Perhaps while name calling, 6:28 can cite a constitutional prohibition of leaving the union. And what sort of dullard suggests that since the Constitution doesn't mention leaving the union, then it must follow that states must remain in the union? What kind of F.U. logic is that?

I guess I'm a dullard too...for pointing out for the fiftieth time that Lincoln freed zero slaves and started this war of opportunity.

Anonymous said...

I knew I could make the racists come out, we are already working on getting Mouton erased.

Anonymous said...

1:24 am

Yes you too are a dullard.

Lincoln did issue the Emancipation Proclamation at the beginning of 1863, which on paper freed slaves in the states of the Confederacy that had seceded from the United States.

Your pedantic swipes at "right to leave" v "power to leave" the union is inane. Why did the South secede at all? Why fight?

The South fought to leave the Union and to save money, slaves. You see slaves were gold. If slavery became illegal then the Souths "bitcoin" became worthless....worse.....a liability.

Go major in history for 4-5 years and then come back.

Anonymous said...


I am confused as to what it is you are trying to say. You state "pedantic swipes" and end your comment with telling someone to "go major in history for 4-5 years..."

I am confused as to how you can complain that the Constitution is pedantic.

The South seceded, specifically, for one reason and one reason alone. The entire economy of Southern States was based on the plantation model, which included slavery, though only about 20% of the whites in the south owned plantations. Slaves were not just of African origin and slave owners were not just white and slaves were not just in the South. Also, there were a minimum of 4,000 plantation owners or farmers in the South who were black AND had slaves.

Your history teaches in only black and white. That only black people were ever enslaved and that the U.S.A. was responsible. Yet during the time African slaves were sold to the Americas, only approximately 5% were sold to the Americas. The vast majority of the African slave trade was elsewhere with Africans themselves enslaving and selling.

On a side note, the word "slave" is derived from the time when African Muslims enslaved white Europeans, Slavic people.

So, slavery has been around since man was man.

Why does the South secede and why are the majority of southern slaves of African descent? Black slaves were more productive in the southern climate because they were acclimated to it. If you are a plantation owner and are paying for your labor, you choose to get the most for your money.

So, your taught history has it that the Civil War was based on a race issue, but it was actually an economic one. The vast majority of the economy of the South was being immediately wiped away with the pen and back then, States were more independent of each other and there was not this misrepresented notion of nationalism that's present today.

Your misrepresentation that "slaves" were gold and abolishing slavery would mean losing that "gold" is factually incorrect and without logic. The fact is that the southern economy had it's foundation in the plantation/farm model which relied on the labor of black slaves who were better at performing the necessary work in this climate.

It would be no different (with some major exceptions) than, say in 100 years, that robots were used to farm the south and farming was the foundation of the economy. Banning robots would not cause harm to farm owners because of the money spent on the robots, it would cause harm because it would disrupt the economy. Sadly, slavery utilized humans and not robots, but the reason for secession is still represented the same.

Anonymous said...

9:35 AM

You must be delirious.

I'm not going to argue with a guy who says blacks were better at "performing the necessary work in this climate." Such a statement is without factual support in any scientific record. They were good at it...or they would be killed.

(Religion was also a huge factor as white felt that God willed blacks to slavery...which is also crazy)

Anonymous said...

Let's just postulate for a minute that everyone agreed that anything "memorializing" the confederacy needed to go in the southern United States. Do y'all of the "social justice" persuasion realize how much stuff would have to be knocked down and renamed all across the
Assuming that people were for this, are you social justice people willing to pay for it? I'm sure as hell not. We've got roads to pave,etc.

That's one hell of an undertaking that would take at least 50 years to complete; probably longer. Your "efforts" would be better spent on policy to truly improve the south instead of obliterating everything that notifies anyone that they are in the south. In other words, get real.

Anonymous said...


There is no argument. It is widely held and understood that African slaves were sought after for work in the heat and humid evirons.

Religion had nothing to do with slavery, in any sense that you purport.

Caribbean areas were the first to start replacing white slaves (mostly Irish) with Africans and it became understood that the African slave could better withstand the heat and humidity.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:35am

You are one walking contradiction.

First, you said

1. "So, your (sic) taught history has it that the Civil War was based on a race issue, but it was actually an economic one."

But yet, you want people to believe that slavery wasn't a racial issue???

Whether it was started in Timbuktu, with the Dutch, English or Portuguese - it ended here in America and therefore you have a moral responsibility to call out the wrongs of slavery.

The ends do not justify the means.

How ould you feel if you were forced to work for free and somebody tried to justify by simply saying, well others did it too?

2. "black slaves who were better at performing the necessary work in this climate."

You said that EXACTLY and then you go on to say,

Anonymous said...

No need to attempt to reason with 10:05. He left the conversation as soon as he opined that black folks were not more acclimated to the southern climate than others. Racial animus aside, it's a fact that cannot be denied. And nobody has ever attempted to deny it until this imbecile shows up.

Anonymous said...


I don't think you understand the use of [sic]. "your" was spelled and used correctly in the instance where you attempted it's use.

But, grammatical arguments aside, the Civil War WAS NOT a race issue. It was unarguably an economic one. You, and many others, attempt to rewrite history through your own eyes and turn it into a race issue.

Speaking of walking contradiction, you want it so bad to be a racial issue but only because blacks were the ones that were slaves. Slavery is/was wrong no matter what color the person. I believe that every person has the God-given rights as others and freedom is one of those.

Now, how you construe that my stating the Civil War was not a racial issue and also state that Blacks were chosen due to their acclimation, contradict each other is laughable. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

Also, follow some logic. The Emancipation Proclamation only listed secession states as areas where slaves were "free." That left over 1 million other slaves, still in slavery. If the Civil War was not about economics (and the associated governance) and was about slavery and/or black people, why would such a proclamation not be so bold as to include every slave, regardless of location?

One can easily be abhorred by the idea of slavery but still exact the truth from history.... unless one is trying to gain something from a different history.

Anonymous said...

@ May 23, 2017 at 5:22 PM

Are YOU sure it is "YOUR taught history" and not "YOU'RE taught history"

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm sure it's "YOUR taught history" and not "YOU ARE taught history" in the context of how I structure the sentence.

The sentence in entirety is, "So, your taught history has it that the Civil War was based on a race issue, but it was actually an economic one." that sentence, "your" is an adverb helping the adjective "taught" which is helping the subject "history"

I certainly can't claim any expertmanship to this whole grammar thing and feel certain I make grammatical mistakes quite often, but I just found the possible passive aggressive nature of trying to use "[sic]" in that instance interesting.

Anonymous said...

There's a 120 foot high cross at a catfish restarant on Hwy 49 south. In no time this will be removed because a minority of atheist feel sick or offended when they drive by it.
Your freedom of speech & expression is being crushed by the ACLU, SPLC, & bigoted lawyers.

Anonymous said...

@ May 23, 2017 at 9:36 PM

Hey, genius!



1. belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing.

"what is your name?"

2. belonging to or associated with any person in general.

"the sight is enough to break your heart"

In other words - you ARE supposed to use the word "your" when someone has possession of an item or title? Your car, your house, your name, your occupation, your wife, your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your dog, your keys, your books, your neighborhood - hell how about in ebonics - yo' momma, yo' broad, yo' hooptie - see where this is going?

An individual does not freakin' possess the gotdamn word "taught"

Taught is an adverb - it's not a possessive noun!

Just going to redefine the Queens English, typical backwoods Mississippi logic!

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Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS