Wednesday, June 17, 2015

NY Magazine publishes Ugly, the after-shocks of a Tea Party suicide.

Ugly, the after-shocks of a Tea Party Suicide hit the pages of New York Magazing this week.  Marin Cogan made a serious  attempt to cover the suicide of Mark Mayfield and the Clayton Kelly scandal.  She had access to the family and other sources.  This is some good old-fashioned journalism that is thorough, thoughtful, and well-written. 


McDaniel had vowed not to go negative against Cochran, but he was quickly being buried under a barrage of attack ads, many of them coming from third-party groups. Pender noted that Cochran’s campaign “for weeks had a series of attack ads hitting McDaniel. McDaniel’s only official campaign ad so far is a positive piece, ‘Mississippi is my home,’ that doesn’t attack Cochran.”

Mary was frustrated by McDaniel’s lack of response and decided to act. He knew the candidate personally from McDaniel’s days hosting “The Right Side,” where Mary had also served briefly as a host. Through another host on the show, Mary was introduced to Richard Sager, a local gym teacher and father with a knack for research who posted under the name @RedAlertMS. The two began digging online for dirt on the senator. Cochran’s wife, Rose, had been in a nursing home with early-onset dementia since 2000. When Mary searched Google Images for “Thad Cochran, wife,” instead of Rose, up popped photos of Cochran’s 76-year-old executive assistant, Kay Webber...

 Another activist Mary knew on Facebook told him about a blogger named Clayton Kelly. He described Kelly as a conservative journalist with a growing following who might be able to help them circulate their anti-Cochran research. Soon Mary and Kelly, a 28-year-old libertarian who blogged under the name Constitutional Clayton, were chatting and sometimes arguing about politics. Eventually, the conversation turned to getting a photo of Rose Cochran in her nursing home.....

The story later delves into Mark Mayfield's arrrest and suicide. 

On the Tuesday before Mayfield was arrested, as he and Robin lay in bed, she decided she’d had enough of his tossing and turning and demanded to know what was going on. “You know that Kelly guy who was arrested?” he told her. “Well, I’m involved in that somehow.” Mayfield explained that Mary had approached him about taking the photo. According to Robin, Mayfield said he wouldn’t do it but that he could set Kelly up with a friend — another attorney — who could help him out. When Mayfield went to the nursing home to clean out his mother’s room after her death, the attorney accompanied him. Mayfield showed him where Rose Cochran’s room was located, and the attorney then explained the location to Kelly over the phone, using a blocked number. (The attorney was never arrested or charged with any crime.)

Robin thought the photo-taking was a stupid, borderline-insane thing to do but not obviously criminal. When she heard the extent of her husband’s involvement, she was even more certain he’d be all right. She tried to reassure him that, at worst, the police might ask him to answer a few questions. Mayfield wasn’t convinced. “Robin, it’s politics,” he told her. “They’re going to come after me.”....

 After Mayfield’s first court appearance, his son William hid his father’s guns in his backpack. A few days later, William noticed that one of them was missing. William and Robin demanded to see the gun. Mark told them it was for protection. “Protection from what? You’re not being hounded or threatened,” Robin told him. The three of them went upstairs to the attic, where Mark retrieved the gun he’d hidden in the insulation. William asked him to promise that he wouldn’t do anything crazy. His father agreed he wouldn’t. A grand jury was set to meet in June to decide whether to indict him. “I can’t go to jail,” he kept telling his family and attorneys. They assured him that he wouldn’t. But he kept repeating it, until it became a mantra: “I can’t go to jail.”...Rest of article.

There is much more information in this article and painful as it is to read, it is still worth reading.  

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Any word on the identity of the attorney that went with Mayfield to the nursing home?

Anonymous said...

9:11 AM

Might have been John Grisham the way this thing reads

Anonymous said...

Absurdly high bonds are, I understand, all too common in Mississippi courts, just like the routine violations of the Speedy Trial Clause. It's unfortunate this case - which reminded the public that affluent white men, too, can be targets of such abuses - doesn't look like it will lead to any reform.

Anonymous said...

This mystery attorney thing is a little strange. Robin Mayfield apparently is the source of the allegation. Surely she knows who that person is. If she thinks there is someone else to blame, why doesn't she or her brother and attorney John Reeves share that information with the DA and let him investigate?

Anonymous said...

Is this mystery attorney thing new information? I had not heard about it before.

Anonymous said...

The same article from NY Magazine also mentions that "McDaniel is rumored to be eyeing a bid for Congress against another incumbent Republican, Representative Steven Palazzo, next year."

The Energizer Bunny just keeps going and going on....

Anonymous said...

the information has been shared with the da and they are aware. The MPD did not find out of the mysterious attorney until after mayfield was arrested and the damage was done. The mysterious attorney used blocked phone calls to call kelly. Kelly thought it was mayfield, and so did MPD. Sloppy (or not thorough) police work that led to a tragedy. that is why it has not been released from the da and mpd.

Anonymous said...

Let's see what the theme of that campaign will be: Palazzo, a currently serving enlisted National Guard soldier and ex-Marine, is not a "TRUE" Conservative? And, Chris, not serving during 14 years of war, is a "Tea Party Patriot" "serving" his country by pushing for a 2 term limit while running for his 3rd term. Because deficit. Or, Derp, debt. Or, Obama. Yep. The Tea Party turns own their own the minute they are elected. There's the one consistency to paranoia.

Anonymous said...

The MPD did not find out of the mysterious attorney until after mayfield was arrested and the damage was done. The mysterious attorney used blocked phone calls to call kelly. Kelly thought it was mayfield, and so did MPD. Sloppy (or not thorough) police work that led to a tragedy. that is why it has not been released from the da and mpd.

What was the damage? The planning and execution of the covert photo op and posting on the internet? Or was the damage the arrest of some of the conspirators and not all of them?

It doesn't seem like a failure to arrest all the conspirators during the initial stages of the investigation would necessarily be either sloppy or unusual. Mayfield's involvement in the conspiracy is obvious (see previous posting), so what exactly is the point of this complaint about the non-arrest of the as yet publicly unidentified co-conspirator?

Anonymous said...

@11:06 if you can't understand the damage of this situation get off the site. Mayfield was a well respected, successful and very loved man by all who knew him. The DAMAGE of ruining his reputation and career over a very minimal and let's be serious - non illegal- part in this stupid scandal killed him. It literally killed him.

You find someone you love with a bullet in their head and then come back and talk to me about damages.

Anonymous said...

I am not chummy with the Madison County law and political officials so my perspective is different than the comments you made. I still find it interesting that no one is willing to address the Richard Wilbourn issue. How come? It seems as though there could be a conspiracy to cover up what is obviously known, yet undisclosed, regarding this particular aspect of the case. Please take the time to read the information posted on this blog , (see pages 34-41 of the FB posts) that Kelly spoke to the 5th person involved, the “undisclosed party” (see page 41). Obviously this undisclosed party is not Mayfield, Mary or Sager, rather the mystery caller, who by the way, left a voicemail...…one that was never recovered. That seems odd and corrupt to me, not to mention a conspiracy to cover up a crime. I know that Richard Wilbourn has an office just down the road from St. Catherine's Village, knew Mayfield from his work in the Tea Party and has been widely suspected to have been involved, in a pivotal way to get the picture taken. However now we know, from an article posted yesterday, that there is video of this attorney, video that has somehow failed to come out and/or be investigated? Here is the quote from the NY Times article: “According to Robin, Mayfield said he wouldn’t do it but that he could set Kelly up with a friend — another attorney — who could help him out. When Mayfield went to the nursing home to clean out his mother’s room after her death, the attorney accompanied him. Mayfield showed him where Rose Cochran’s room was located, and the attorney then explained the location to Kelly over the phone, using a blocked number.” So there you have it, both a voicemail and a video of the 5th person ....... both of which miraculously never saw the light of day? Did this individual escape scrutiny and an ultimate arrest because of who he knows or was this a little too close for comfort as it would mean the very person who possibly got Kelly into SCV was a resident of Madison and right under their noses?

Anonymous said...

This story has a beginning that led to an end and few know really all that transpired in between. While we are all willing to opine on the defendants who were arrested, nothing has been said about countless others who were willing to participate in the events leading up to the picture being taken, however, they were never arrested. I don't know, seems rather corrupt to me. Perhaps the reputation Mississippi has for corrupt law and politics has been solidified with this case. I am hope someday, with time and temperance, the real story can be revealed with a sense of responsibility and truth, which has been missing so far. I think this article is a very good beginning.

Anonymous said...

it shows that this entire episode was mishandled, rushed, not well thought out, and overblown

Anonymous said...

Thank you to the author of the NY Magazine article. The insight you have regarding this case is credible and refreshing.

I have heard comments about the dignity of Rose Cochran, however, there are few things more harmful to one's dignity than a cheating spouse, and there was a cheating spouse here that spared his wife NO dignity. I am still wondering where the outrage from Thad Cochran is about this "horrific" crime that the media and Madison County officials are portraying it to be. Why hasn't he sued the nursing home for compromising his wife's "safety and dignity"? Why wasn't he front and center at her defense when this all came out and was splashed all over the news? The answer is that he really did not think she was harmed and that no crime had been committed. Two days after his wife's funeral he was found to be shopping at a jewelry store with Kay Webber - Ummmm, I seriously doubt it was a business trip as he claimed all her other appearances with him to be. After they got married, the AP and other media reported that he had married “a longtime aide”. Really ? I understand why and when the lies start but when do they end? This must be the frustration that Kelly, Mary, Mayfield, and Sanger had, as well as still unnamed individuals who felt the egregious nature of these lies. Frustration of this magnitude, built up one communication upon another between individuals who feed off of each other rarely results in a tempered or reasoned conclusion. What should always be remembered is that while these mistakes were made, these defendants are all good men. I know this to be true.
To Clayton Kelly - you are not alone, I am certain you are in the prayers of your friends and family. We have all made mistakes - most of us have made grievous ones in our pasts I am certain. I pray for you every day and have since the beginning. No one knows everything that happened and how this evolved, however, I do know your intentions were to get to the truth and for that you were punished. Stay strong and start planning for your future - you deserve it, much more than the corrupt politicians that only care about their power not being disturbed.

To Rick Sager and John Mary - there will always be those who want to believe the worst about people and situations they do not have complete knowledge of, therefore, cannot fully understand. Those who do know you and the genesis of this story, and how it came together through happenstance, rather than conspiracy, know the truth about you and your part in it and how different this truth is compared to the comments I have read. I pray for you every day and have since the beginning. Everyone makes mistakes - most of us have made plenty. I commend you for taking responsibility for your part at the beginning of the investigation, without losing your belief in truth and justice. It is never easy to take the road less traveled like you did, but those who do, have peace in their hearts and this is what I pray for you to now have. You deserve it.

Anonymous said...

ummmmmm ..............Madison County D.A., police, and political officials, we have a problem here.

Anonymous said...

To Anon @ 9:11, 10:01 & 10:23am Although No one has yet to “identify” him, it has evidently become the worst kept secret in this affair-look at the person at the end of the witness list (#16 on the DA’s witness list) posted by JJ on his 6-5-15 article. There you will find the name Richard Wilbourn, he is an attorney, his office is in Madison VERY close to St. Catherine's, he is a Tea Party leader & would have known Mark, and obviously he was on the witness list for a reason. The article you refer to says that Mayfield took an "attorney" into St. Catherine's with him when he went to clean out his mother's room, that attorney then called Kelly from a blocked number and, being unable to reach Kelly he left a voicemail (that part in on Kelly's FB post). Then he connected with Kelly and gave him a layout of SCV.
To Anon@ 10:37am You are saying the information was shared with the DA and NOTHING was done because, to quote you “Sloppy (or not thorough) police work that led to a tragedy. that is why it has not been released from the da and mpd.” This means the very person who actually facilitated Kelly getting into SCV was UNTOUCHED by all the authorities? If you read the information JJ posted (FB posts in particular) you will see that Kelly did NOT think the blocked caller was Mayfield as Kelly had spoken to Mayfield and knew his voice. In the FB posts Kelly says the blocked caller left a voicemail, further there would be video of Mayfield giving the attorney the “tour” of St. Catherine’s all of which appears to have conveniently never been brought to light. This stinks to high heaven and raises some extremely serious issues in this case.

Do you find it strange that that was not followed up on? Is he being protected? A lot of people are wondering now. It darn near looks like a, well, what's the word..a damned CONSPIRACY!!

Anonymous said...

9:38, nothing ever leads to reform in Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

@11:45 a.m.

All I have to say is Amen to this post. There are no words to better describe how I feel. Thank you

Anonymous said...

OMG the stench of authorities not disclosing this other conspirator is becoming overpowering. Who investigates the investigators? If I were Joel Bomgar I would think real hard about reducing his Campaign Committee by one person and giving Richard Wilbourn his walking papers. Joel IS a great guy and does not need this tainting his campaign.

Anonymous said...

This case is the gift that just keeps giving - stayed tuned

Anonymous said...

Love is in the air.

Anonymous said...

For all you conspiracy theorists wondering about why Wilbourn was not indicted - I would suggest to you that he may well have been a "cooperating witness", same as the initiators of this idiotic scheme. Obviously the Madison PD and the Madison DA came to learn of Wilbourn's involvement at some time during the investigation, but not necessarily at the beginning when the first arrests were made.

Mary and Sager got off light because they cooperated. My guess is that once Wilbourn's involvement was discovered he was 'offered' the same kind of deal. If his testimony had not been honest, he would probably be arrested on his way out of the courtroom (don't any of you watch L&O?) Mary and Sager will walk away in a year with a clear record. Wilbourn probably had the same offer and I suspect Mark would have done the same if he had not taken such a drastic action.

Granted - Wilbourn should probably be in jail for plenty of other things unrelated to this childish activity. His family would likely want to lead him to the door. But to assume that 'his politics' are keeping him out of this just skips over the facts that lie in the recently released evidence.

Anonymous said...

The article suggests the motivation in the conspiracy was to fight back on McDaniel's behalf because he was getting beat up and had promised to stay positive. But the evidence posted yesterday shows the conspiracy began at least in early February and they didn't want to launch the attack before March because they feared another Republican might jump in the race and McDaniel wanted a one-on-one race with Cochran. At the time the conspiracy started, I don't recall anyone being negative except perhaps outside money on both sides, but not the campaigns. All that to say, the motivation conspiracy was not of reaction.

Calling John Grisham said...

There's another possibility. An attorney was briefly mentioned above, by referencing the brother-in-law connection. If you can't trust your brother in law, who can you trust? Pretty tight pact if you axe me. You have Mayfield, his deceased mother, Mayfield's wife and her brother. No need to worry about the mother. She's dead. Surely there was total confidence in the spouse. That leaves a mystery attorney who was only along to offer moral support while on an immoral venture. And not coincidentally, perhaps, he just last week dropped out of a political race. Everybody is scurrying. Even 'the other' Mary.

Calling John Grisham said...

You don't take another attorney along to get your mother's stuff from the nursing home. You take a family member. ahem.

Anonymous said...

Calling John Grisham. For those of us that have not read the entire novel yet...WHO is the person that "coincidentally, perhaps, he just last week dropped out of a political race"? With all the UN-answered questions (to put it mildly) that seems to be sprouting up like weeds following an afternoon rain shower around the Madison County operation (remember the complaint came NOT to the police, but to mayor, the same one that called Thad a "National Treasure")could it be that allowing Mary Hawkins Butler to jump her place in line and run for State Auditor was a "gift" from the Haley Barbour outfit for leading the Orchestra? Nobody runs for such things in this State without getting the Godfathers blessings.

Anonymous said...

Dear Calling John Grisham you really should be taking notes..it's is becoming surreal-the unindicted boy Friday and SCV room cleaner and sometime lawyer Richard Wilbourn evidently was taken to task by the MS Supreme Court for (wait for it..wait for it) secretly taping his MOMMY's phone calls, then promising her he would not do it "again"..then went right ahead and continued taping his mother and to top it all off apparently trampling on his fiduciary duties to his Momma and his sisters (see link). You can't make this stuff up! Now the question is will you give JJ's fans limited addition signed copies when the book comes out?? http://caselaw.findlaw.com/ms-court-of-appeals/1608041.html

Anonymous said...

3:33 - that is about the stupidist comment I have read on this - or for that matter, most any other - site in months. Maybe ever. And that is a very broad swatch of stupid comments. Besides the little deal that your facts aren't correct, the 'analysis' is anything but.

Anonymous said...

There was mo mystery attorney. Mayfield was the one involved and now the family is trying to make people think it was someone else. Thats why someone else wasnt caught. Without Mayfield this would have never happened and I am truely sorrry for his family and understand why they would not want to think he could have done something like this but he did.

Anonymous said...

5:32; that is simply not true. There was another person involved and that is a fact.

Anonymous said...

Damn 5:39 - bring it on. Tell us more! You evidently have absolute information not available to the rest of us.

Obviously you are either a member of the DA's office, or could be Noel or one of the others mentioned in the email correspondence. Please. Please. Tell us what we don't know but you do.

Anonymous said...

This "other" attorney bullshit is a total machination.

I have followed this election and its fallout closely, and I have never once heard a mention of it until this week.

Can anybody cite ANY story from before this week that mentions this? Put up or shut up, as Kingfish would say.

Anonymous said...

This is a pretty good article by New York mag, but it is heavy on the Robin Mayfield story. The starting point - that McD was running nothing but positive campaign and that the TP response was a reaction to the negative ads coming from Cochran folks, although mentioning that the negative ads were basically from a third party group.

McD did not run negative ads because his many out of state third party groups were doing it for him. Chris sat on his pedastal and tried to look angelic, while letting CFG, Heritage and others demean Cochran.

A true history of this campaign - which I'm sure will be done by someone at sometime - will show that the primary third party group supporting Cochran was formed to respond to the hundreds of thousand dollars being dumped on the airways by TP groups supporting McD and slamming Cochran.

When it came to the nursing home debacle, what is overlooked by the McD supporters was that Cochran never spoke to the incident except to answer direct questions. The prosecution was pushed by SCV lawyers who were worried not so much over a lawsuit on this particular incident but over the negative media perception of their security provisions which certainly would hurt their bottom line in future tenants.

Idiotic, childish, amuaterish political game played by folks obviously well out of their league - except Mayfield. I'm afraid it was because he realized how stupid it was to get involved with this scheme led to his obvious despair. His loss was the true loss of this adventure, but it was due to his willingness to be involved with such idiots. If for no other reason it is the reason I'm glad to see at least one person go to jail in this Ugly Adventure.

Anonymous said...

It's not new... It was on the very first incident report that was posted by KF... I'm sure he could link you to it or you can go to the archives and find it.

Anonymous said...

Anon @8:28 yeah you should be upset, a lot of people are, but you’re pointing in the wrong direction, might want to swivel your attention towards Madison and get them on record and see if, since anon@10:37am says they have had the information for quite a while, if they ever questioned Wilbourn or was attention diverted away from Wilborn for reasons set out by anon@10:37am? Citizens want to believe that justice is blind and not selective. Ask them the specific reason he was on the list, I am confident it was not the gas station scene from the Movie “The Jerk” where the madman randomly picks Navin Johnson’s name from the phone book.

Oh Watta Web said...

Some of you people obviously missed the class on 'connecting dots'. All you jerks consider as factual is what you hear from each other about McDaniel. And if you're not hearing anything, you make something up. Forget the republican machine's conspiracy to elect ole Thad. Forget the facts in the case. Forget the evidence presented. Forget the timeline and the insinuations (Dots). Forget the information now being leaked about the 'other attorney'. Oh, Mayfield's wife just made that up since her husband was a McDaniel lackey. Right.

As was said, 'you don't take another attorney along to get your mother's stuff from the place where she died. You take a family member'. And, not that it matters 'at this point in time' (as Hillary would say), but the brother-in-law is smart enough to make the call to Constitutional Clayton and block the call.

Anonymous said...

To Anon 11:52--You cannot be serious.

"I have heard comments about the dignity of Rose Cochran, however, there are few things more harmful to one's dignity than a cheating spouse, and there was a cheating spouse here that spared his wife NO dignity."
Nonsense. Mrs. Cochran's dignity (and PRIVACY) were scrupulously maintained during the entirety of her 13 years at St. Catherine's, until this nauseating incident. Alleged infidelity less dignified than taking pictures of a woman who has lost her faculties? In your dreams.

"To Clayton Kelly ... No one knows everything that happened and how this evolved, however, I do know your intentions were to get to the truth and for that you were punished."
According to the transcripts published two days ago, the photo of Mrs. Cochran was intended to sensationalize accusations of infidelity. If Mr. Kelly or any of the other co-conspirators felt they needed photographic evidence that Rose Cochran and Kay Webber were different people, many legally-obtained pictures are available on your internet. Punishing Kelly for his attempt "to get to the truth" is also nonsense. His wife has stated that his intentions were to make a name for himself as a blogger.

To Rick Sager and John Mary - there will always be those who want to believe the worst about people and situations they do not have complete knowledge of, therefore, cannot fully understand."
This is how I know you must self-identify as tea party: rejecting/ignoring facts (in this case, a transcript of communication among Mary, Sager, and Kelly) in order to maintain a self-righteous narrative of morality.

"I pray for you every day and have since the beginning."
Good. They need it.

"You deserve it."
If you mean public humiliation because they are recognized as scumbags, then you and I have finally found a point of harmonious agreement.

Anonymous said...

@8:52 a.m.

Yes, I am serious about everything I wrote and, no, I do not support the tea party. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, however, they hold no value to me. You have not distinguished yourself to be anything other than someone who has jumped on the bandwagon with those who only want to see a biased side of this story and them find reasons to confirm their bias. Hardly an intelligent way to think.

Anonymous said...

@8:28 p.m.I have followed this election and its fallout closely, and I have never once heard a mention of it until this week.

@8:28 p.m.

And there in lies the issue/problem - it was obviously kept under wraps and I am curious as to why this individual who was directly involved was not arrested, name splashed all over the news, etc. like the other defendants. Sounds like a Madison County conspiracy to me.

Anonymous said...

Anon@5:32pm Must think that Mayfield’s widow or brother in law runs the Madison DA’s office? What was Richard Wilbourn to testify about? Weather at St. Catherine’s? Shuffleboard attendance? The DA put him on the witness list (not the Mayfield’s), can anyone come up with a reason that doesn’t tie directly to the case? Anyone, Anyone…

Anonymous said...

Anon @4:43pm You obviously are not very familiar with the Good Ole Boy “system” in MS Politics

Anonymous said...

@11:53

Well said. Also, the Good Old Boy "system" in all things concerning police, law, and political offices in Madison County are front and center of this story. Their methods of handling this case with skill integrity has been devastating in ways that I doubt Mississippi will ever recover from. Fortunately or unfortunately, the story is not close to being over.

And Lastly said...

Are you serious?! Madison PD and their puppeteer having integrity and ability to concoct and maneuver? The same bunch that screwed up the investigation into the Irby Ex-Wife and daughter thing? The same bozos who had to reassign the female detective to the animal shelter after she botched an investigation on Irby? Not to mention the Peacock-Hater. What a crop of comedic clowns!

PS: The mystery attorney was John Bell Crosby with fake credentials. He was carrying a Kroger-Mop and was assumed to be part of the cleaning crew.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:05 a.m.

You are right - I did not articulate my wording well. I meant that they lacked, and obviously still do, the virtue of integrity. Thanks for pointing out my error.

Anonymous said...

On June 16 Wesley Hamlin posted on Facebook the following.

"Mark Mayfield is my uncle. The past year has been a nightmare for my family as I'm sure most all of you can understand. It has been made even worse though by incorrect stories in the press and by the City of Madison Police Department snubbing my Aunt Robin when all she wants is answers to what really happened and why!... So, me and my Aunt Robin set out on a mission to uncover the truth and then to present the truth! This article is step one!! I have no political agenda in this; we just want people to know the truth. Please take time to read this!!"

THE AFTERSHOCKS OF A TEA-PARTY SUICIDE by Marin Cogan, NY Magazine

With Respect said...

Well, I see no reason to insult or embarrass Wesley or his aunt either one. Some of you would love to do that. But, it's natural that he (and she) would hope to involve others in the mystery-web to lesson the spotlight on a family member. I'd do the same and so would you. Perhaps they're right.

Cornoyer said...

What really happened is that Mark Mayfield made one of the dumbest decisions EVER made by a seasoned professional.

Anonymous said...

No offense to others, but whether there was another person involved or not, it doesn't take away the role Mayfield played. I understand their family is entirely grief stricken, so I get that they may not agree... but he clearly set the table for the crime. Whether he was the guy that told Kelly how to get in or enlisted another person to learn the layout of the facility and work off of information he provided to protect himself... he has responsibility.

I absolutely agree that if this person exists and was involved, he should face prosecution as well.

Anonymous said...

It's rather obvious that few people commenting read the entire article or if they did, their reading comprehension is nil.

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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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