A dog park is coming to Clinton. It's an amenity taken for granted in most cities yet somehow Jackson, Brandon, Flowood, Pearl, Richland, Madison, and Ridgeland can't seem to get around to providing one although there is now a small one at the Rez. WJTV reported yesterday:
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
Dog Park Coming to Clinton
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
29 comments:
Congrats Clintonians. Now remember to pick up your dog's poop. Yeah, you have to do that. Most Mississippians are shocked that you are supposed to pick that dogshit up. I don't have a dog but I always have dog crap in my yard.
I'll guarantee there will be an issue with pit bulls and their owners.
Will there be a restaurant on site?
Some of you people can't stand to have anything nice around here. Get a good restaurant, well, you have to trash the owner. Get an amenity people want such as a dog park, criticize it. Let someone in the neighboring burb or city have some good fortune and here come the pitchforks. Oh, then there are those who feel the need to point out the race no matter what. Yeesh.
Why are there no cat parks?! Now that's racist!!
KF, you're apparently late to the party in Stankin'. I think you ought to contact the City of Brandon and/or the Sheriff and get up to date info on doggie parks.
I'm sorry for being a trash talker Kingfish, but doggie doodoo stinks. Even Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg picked up after his pupper and he's a gazillionaire
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5563325/Mark-Zuckerberg-hypocrite-photographer-breached-CEOs-privacy.html
Kool Beans
Can't wait to use this.
Actually, CARA has a dog park - Brees Bark Park.
what is wrong with you people?
Pit Bulls were banned in the Clinton city limits about 10 years ago. I'm sure there will be a sign at the park.
Go ahead and bring your pit bull in plain sight. Dumb move.
I love dogs! I don't like dog owners who are irresponsible. Keep them confined where we can watch them seems like a good thing.
An 'amenity taken for granted in most cities' - yet you list off several that do not provide this while only one in the area that does?
I'd question your definition of most.
And I'd question the practicality of providing such in Jackson who can't even keep its existing amenities open and operating, or its basic required infrastructure operative.
You want a dog park. Great. Build one, and charge a fee. See how much demand there is for such an amenity. Right now, I would hope that the city of Jackson could just keep the grass cut in whatever existing parks they currently have - not opening new ones. (or not bowing to the pressure you and others have tried to put to convert existing parks into your personal playground.)
There is a new dog park in Brandon near the new ball fields and Amphitheater.
Hope this park for dogs doesn't end up like the bicycle trails and sidewalks that some communities have paid taxes to provide. After a while they are abandoned, they wind up in the roadway, and can't seem to understand why they are maimed or killed.
So many dog park experts.
Good for Clinton.
If you don't live there, then your opinion about what they do is dog shit anyway. WTF cares about your stupid comment on EVERY.LITTLE.THING?
@ 11:25-- Got a problem with it, get your own blog ;-)
Amen, KF at 11:25. Getting to know your audience. I always hope that it is the same few miserable people who frequently make that kind of comment, rather than multiples! Great news for dog owners in the Clinton area.
No problem charging fees. Mandeville charges an annual fee, if I'm not mistaken.
There are dog parks at both Old Trace Park and at Lakeshore Park. My experiences have been good at both parks with owners behaving responsibly. A little community seems to form around them because you often run into the same dogs (and their humans) every time you go. Congrats to Clinton! Hope you and your furbabies enjoy the park!
What a waste of tax dollars, I assume all of the street lights work and there is no blighted property or potholes in Clinton.
They need to add a Cracker Barrel and a nice bar where you can dance. If they would do that, it would be perfect. You need to be a Clintonian to understand.
@3:19
Actually the streets are great and the street lights do work. Having lived in NYC, Nashville and New Orleans which all have multiple dog parks, they are great. Most dog owners are responsible and it is a good place to meet neighbors. Dog owners tend to be respectful of others and do clean up after their dogs and the pups have a great time. If you don’t own a dog then you will never understand. A dog park is just another one of the many little things that make an area a nice place to live.
If you have a dog and don't have a yard for them to run around in, your being cruel to the dog. If all the lights work etc. and you have discretionary funds, cut my taxes. I am not responsible for your or your dog's happiness.
Based on my inconsiderate Sherwood Forest neighbors who allow their dogs to dump on my yard, all of Jackson is a defacto dog park.
I’m not a dog person, but I am all for designated spaces.
I’d be more impressed if dog owners actually used these places as opposed to letting spot roam around subdivisions (while apparently sleeping off a bender).
Reporting from Madison Proper
Go Clinton- the oasis in the cesspool of Hinds County! This city is led by an ex-marine that doesn't put up with the crap that other elected officials around the state and country wimp out over.
Error alert. Brandon has a dog part
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