And now, ladies and gentlemen, straight from the pothole, Rita Brent:
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
35 comments:
Sing it out Sister!
She’s not funny. She’s not talented.
Her politics are divisive.
Will never buy a Honda because they use her to advertise.
KF, if you thought this was "too funny" then you need to get your humor meter checked. Kinda cute, maybe - but didn't even cause a smile much less any laughter here.
Two giant thumps up!!
Well done. Thank you.
She needs to do a duet with the "Holes in the Road!" guy. You know, take it to the next level.
Congrats, made me smile for the first time in a while!
Collins Ms.
The attention starved miserable asses @ 8:22 & @ 8:25 make their same miserable appearance.
Good voice. Move over Aretha and Whitney!
There's been a mixup. I clicked on the link and found no comedy. Please upload correct video
Well, you can tell who the white people in the comments are.
11:07, they aren’t necessarily white as I am. They are better known as someone stern, strict, up tight, or humorless in manner. They have a Stick Up Their Ass!
This is great. She is actually quite talented. Able to se the humor is a crappy situation In Jackson. To the ones knocking her get a grip you have never heard of humor. Keep it up.
White guy from Madison
She's doing such a good job of flattening out those notes, maybe she can flatten the bumpy roads she scorns in this cacophony of gibberish.
Video not too bad...her attempt at comedy for the Honda dealership is pretty sad.
Mississippi should be well beyond any humor about it's roads and bridges catastrophe. Trying to find "humor" in it just shows the immaturity of it's people.....nothing against KF, but Mississippi is in trouble, and no one is really allowed to talk about it.
@ 8:22
I'm betting the Honda dealership is better off without your whiney little a$$ buying a car from them. I can't imagine what you would complain to them about during the warranty phase. Also, that must be baby Chokwe at 8:25 closing she isn't talented bc she is singing about how crappy his roads are. Belhaven resident here. No need to bash kenniff stokes here as I was informed last week at BLBN that he can't read or write.
To those with no sense of levity...it must be exhausting carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Thanks for all you do for all of us who can't comprehend the seriousness of life.
... nothing against KF, but Mississippi is in trouble, and no one is really allowed to talk about it.
No one is really allowed to talk about it? That is a false.
11:07, please tell us how you can tell who the white commenters are.
August 19, 2019 at 8:58 PM here.
I'm white.
Madison, MS
Didn't know Rita could sing too, and pretty well at that. I don't find her humor particularly funny in most cases, but then I'm not her target audience. Sarcasm of the song is pretty good. Looks like the video was shot on Mill Street by the tracks. Last time I took that route to bypass a parade a couple of years ago, I would have rated it as one of the worst streets in Jackson. All but impassable. More gravel and debris than pavement.
All y'all racists that don't think this is the funniest video around. I was rolling on the floor laffin' my butt off!!! Man I wish there was a shorter way to type that. Like an acronym or somethin. Oh well.
Enjoyed video!
One suggestion for Brent (and also many famous vocal artists), make sure the word 'you' is clearly enunciated so that it doesn't sound like 'chew'.
WF60+
She can't hold a candle to:
HOLES IN THE ROAD ! HOLES IN THE ROAD !
GOT TO GET IT FIXED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We should embrace it. Set up tourist attractions around the pot holes. Jackson Mississippi "The pot hole capitol of the world"
Sorry, but I am a white male and am a racist and I thought it was good and indeed, funny.
Well done.
The creation of a pothole subculture in jackson. Who knew? :-)
That was funny. "Wax my axle baby."
I'm no talent judge, it's okay. You can no longer get a manual transmission on every trim level of the Accord.
Of other local import; how much more ink will Gannett spill over a routine immigration law enforcement procedure at a chicken processing plant?
Doesn't matter if it's funny or not, it's a giant waist of resources. Imagine the time and money it took to 'get it right'.
Will never produce 2cents... no market. A shame.
Betcha you could sell tickets for a Jackson pothole tour -- all you need is a party bus, some booze, this talented young lady and the "holes in the road" guy, and you have all the ingredients for an entertaining evening. Just remember the spill-proof cups and motion sickness bags!
You're welcome!
@10:17, you know what's a giant "waist" of resources?
So what's up with all of the references to Honda? I don't get it?
I used to tell my business associates that we have to overcome a Rock in the Road.....but with the way things are going with the rap and all and the conditions of our roads, I would have loved to get my wife’s cousin, Mark Gray, who has passed and was an accomplished song writer/entertainer to write a newer version of his 1980’s song “Rock in the Road” . But, sadly, we have to put up with gyrating, non-instrumental, no talent and dumb as Door back up dancers
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