Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Run-Offs!

We got ourselves some runoff's.  Champeenship showdowns in three weeks:


Governor
Tate Reeves
Bill Waller, Jr. 

Attorney General
Lynn Fitch
Andy Taggart

Hinds County Sheriff
Lee Vance
Victor Mason

Hinds County Supervisor District 2
David L. Archie
Darrell McQuirter

Hinds County Supervisor District 3
Credell Calhoun
Silas Bolden, Jr. 

Hinds County Supervisor District 5
Bobcat McGowan
Patty Patterson

Public Service Commissioner - Central (D)
Dot Benford
DeKeither Stamps


85 comments:

Anonymous said...

Waller all the way.

Anonymous said...

One of those two is your next PSC commissioner for the central district. Both crazy, but each with their distinct type of crazy.

Anonymous said...

At this point,for House District 70 it appears that Bo Brown ( 49.15%) is in a runoff with Kathy Sykes(Incumbent))(40.10%). Tammy Cotton ran third at 10.47%.

Anonymous said...

Bennie's endorsement doesn't carry the same weight it used to! Wow.

Anonymous said...

Hinds county would look totally different if the 14000 republican voters were allowed to vote for these races.

Anonymous said...

Tate wins easy, and that's good.

Fitch wins easy, and that's not good.

HC Sheriff will be a dog fight.

David Archie? Can't be. Won't be. Please?

And finally, time to abolish the PSC.

Anonymous said...

Tate spent $27 per vote he got. Waller spent $8 per vote he got.
Which one is more conservative?

Anonymous said...

It baffles me that Reeves lost his home county and even his own precinct by 20 points. People that have been around him are not fond of him.

Anonymous said...

Taggart better beat Fitch. She is a liberal at heart running as a Repub. A staffer told me she supports abortion. I am not excusing Taggart's anti-Trump liberal views, but he is far better than she is.

Clorox said...

I hope the runoff candidates keep it clean. Let Johnnie Black be an example of how negative campaigns don’t work.

Anonymous said...

Can the #neverTate crowd tell me one thing Hood is actually conservative on? And why you would vote for Hood over Reeves? I am a Waller voter, but I'll gladly vote for Tate over Hood in general. Hood is liberal (and maybe y'all are too).

Anonymous said...

Interesting, Dot Benford (never heard of her before today) has lost MANY races before until she won the last PSC race. Have to give her credit for never giving up.

https://www.ourcampaigns.com/CandidateDetail.html?CandidateID=12309

Anonymous said...

Never Tater!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I cant ever remember seeing a negative bumper sticker for a candidate for statewide office. National politicians have them but not statewide. I have seen at least 2 vehicles with "tater tot we want him not" bumper stickers. That is unheard of and shows how disliked he is.

Anonymous said...

Waller will not lose a single voter who switches to Tate. Tate will lose tons of voters who were only voting for him because they thought he was going to win. The common republican only going off name id that voted for Tate is much more likely to stay home in 3 weeks and that hurts Tate.

Anonymous said...

Taggart gets trounced. Not even close. Tate smokes Waller. Bet on it.

Anonymous said...

3:47 Being anti-Trump does not necessarily mean you are liberal.

Anonymous said...

The similarities between the Never Tate crowd and the McDaniel crowd of 2014 are scary. They're probably one in the same.

Anonymous said...

Taggart is a liberal and a hypocrite. He’s the last person running that has any high ground to talk about therule of law or protecting this state from crime.

Anonymous said...

At 4:02: You must be new to town or electoral politics if you e never heard of Dorothy “Loco” Benford.

Anonymous said...

By not carrying his own county, Tate is in big trouble.

People are getting the message that Reeves is just an "empty suit". No substance, no personality, and no ability.

Anonymous said...

Remember folks, the number two candidates in a runoff typically come out on top.

N'er Tat'er said...

Oh oh oh oh oh oh, Tate has got to go, oh oh oh
When you read the polls, you must've been glad, glad glad
But when the precincts closed, you must've been mad, mad, mad

Anonymous said...

Would someone please remind everyone how many criminals Jim Hood has hekpeescape prosecution?
The big one that come to mind is Robbie Lloyd Bell whonever called JPD or ambulance even though she had the chance & coroner said Heather did not die until 2-3 am
She was guilty as her son then & Jim Hood is guilty now.
I didn’t vote for Tate but if he wins the run-off I will
Vote for him instead of putting a career crook in the Gov’s office
Kingfish bring this back into the voters’ attention

Anonymous said...

DeKeither all the way. I don't mean her any harm, but Dorothy Benford has run for every open seat for at least the past 30 years. I believe she lives in an identity crisis.

Anonymous said...

Reeves wins 58-42. Beats Hood 55-45. There aren’t any Waller/Hood voters out there. The Never Tate crowd will assuredly come home.

Anonymous said...

Tate or a Democrat. Yuck. The Republicans have controlled MS govt for a while now and it’s time for a change. Something new.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, Dot Benford (never heard of her before today) has lost MANY races before....

You need to google the sound bite where she discusses the egg sucking dog.

Hood for Guv said...

I am a Rankin County democrat who voted in the Republican primary just so I could vote for Waller. I'm a no tater-tot for sure. Anyone but Reeves. I will vote for Hood in November.

Anonymous said...

Dot Benford is bat shit crazy...she should fit right in.

Anonymous said...

Look for Tater on Gallaway's telecast the next couple of Sundays doing the scripture reading to score a few votes from people who don't really know him like his neighbors in Rankin.

Anonymous said...

August 7, 2019 at 3:53 PM...
If being a part of the #neverTate crowd makes me a liberal, that's fine with me. I'll just be labeled a liberal. I've already been labeled that anyway by Tate and the guvna because I am a public school teacher. I'm voting Waller on 8/27 and, if things don't go my way in the runoff, I'm voting Hood all the way in November. #ProudNeverTateLiberal

Anonymous said...

It appears that the Taters are getting dangerously close to being mashed. Anyone who doesn't think the runnoff is at this point basically a toss-up with a very slight tilt to Waller that Tate could overcome doesn't know much about elections or voters.

If anyone really wants to drill down in the next 12-24 hours: if the local runoffs were matrixed with population and primary gubernatorial voting by candidate, you could come up with a number. I'd bet big that the number would be within 1-2 points of 50% Waller, 50% Tate. In any case, the whole exercise would produce a number that would only be good until maybe Friday late afternoon. I will predict that short of an extraordinary event, about 7 points is the max potential differential between winner and loser and that ain't good for Tate even if he wins the runoff.

Anonymous said...

Hear ye hear ye!!! Tate couldn’t win the metro Jackson area counties; the people that know him!! That’s what the FBI calls a clue State of Mississippi.... Go Waller!!!

Anonymous said...

Absolute garbage @ 7:18 PM.

Anonymous said...

Reeves/Fitch the right ticket for Mississippi

Anonymous said...

I’m a republican. I support Trump, voted for Baker. In 3 weeks, will vote for Taggart. I don't particularly care for Tate, but I voted for him because he is the only candidate in the race that can beat Hood. Have any of you anonymous commenters noticed that Waller’s platform is practically the same as Hood’s. Do any of you really think Waller can beat Hood? Quit monkeying around people and wake up, the future of our state is at stake. Letting the Democrats take over this state would be catastrophically devastating. At some point the gloves need to come off! Waller’s historic record voting in Democratic primaries, Fitch’s incompetence, TWICE failing to preform the primary function of her job as state treasurer by forgetting to push the button and pay the state’s obligation for its indebtedness and her habitual pattern of living out of her campaign account MUST BE EXPOSED. Taggart wasn’t an original Trump supporter, just as Phil Bryant wasn’t (he was originally a Cruz supporter), Mike Watson wasn’t an original Trump supporter, but all are now! Give them a break, be a realist and prove you are a conservative that cares about our state’s future and in 3 weeks vote for Reeves and Taggart. Like all human beings they aren’t perfect, but they are true leaders that are strong republicans who are committed to make our state a better place.

Anonymous said...

I will never vote for Tate. I will also never vote for Hood. Waller would beat Hood easily. Take will only win if he spends every penny and more than he has in his campaign chest and runs the nastiest campaign Mississippi has ever seen. Of course, that is exactly what will happen.

Anonymous said...

What are the odds Fitch will agree to debate Taggart?

Anonymous said...

Find me one lawyer who thinks Fitch could try a case.

Fine shades of conservatism don’t count nearly as much as competence.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love the cowardice of 3:47 today. "A staffer told me", as if that clears you from libel. Mississippi Right to Life endorsed Lynn Fitch, so don't start lying to try and win. Oh, u have been lying all along about Barney (Taggy) Fife, tote my gun and look at me!!!

Anonymous said...

4:38. Remember this negative bumper sticker? Save us from Mabus

Anonymous said...

I’m a republican. I support Trump, voted for Baker. In 3 weeks, will vote for Taggart. I don't particularly care for Tate, but I voted for him because he is the only candidate in the race that can beat Hood. Have any of you anonymous commenters noticed that Waller’s platform is practically the same as Hood’s. Do any of you really think Waller can beat Hood? Quit monkeying around people and wake up, the future of our state is at stake. Letting the Democrats take over this state would be catastrophically devastating. At some point the gloves need to come off! Waller’s historic record voting in Democratic primaries, Fitch’s incompetence, TWICE failing to preform the primary function of her job as state treasurer by forgetting to push the button and pay the state’s obligation for its indebtedness and her habitual pattern of living out of her campaign account MUST BE EXPOSED. Taggart wasn’t an original Trump supporter, just as Phil Bryant wasn’t (he was originally a Cruz supporter), Mike Watson wasn’t an original Trump supporter, but all are now! Give them a break, be a realist and prove you are a conservative that cares about our state’s future and in 3 weeks vote for Reeves and Taggart. Like all human beings they aren’t perfect, but they are true leaders that are strong republicans who are committed to make our state a better place.

Anonymous said...

"If history is any guide, candidates that earned first place in their primary race are likely to win their runoff — especially if they finished with a lead of more than 10 percentage points." Yes, 5:11 pm, you just grab that out of thin air that the number 2 candidate normally wins the runoff, which number 2 are you supporting? Have you ever heard of Google and tried to get facts before you spread stupidity?

Anonymous said...

As for being in a runoff, Tate: “Jim Hood won’t...but I will!”

Seriously, there is no way a Tater hack/pundit can spin that Tate expected to be in a runoff or its nothing to worry about. Let’s flashback to the first months of the campaign when Tater wouldn’t acknowledge Waller or Foster...only when he saw the storm clouds in the horizon. His political strategists are doing a doozy of a job. But of course, they can only put so much lipstick on their pig.

Anonymous said...

8:29....be that as it may, he wins. Bottom line.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the "not Tate" train...just because you don't like somebody doesn't mean you have to attach yourself to the only available other option. Bartley just wasn't it. Waller just isn't it. And that's not to say Bomgar or Tate are overly likable. But they win, they have the war chest, and they have feeble competition.

Tate is your next Governor.

Anonymous said...

Mason easily. Nobody has seen Vance other than the Jackson city counsil and Mayor Lumumba. Vance didn't think he would have to run again, he has no funds and no energy. Mason has 300 deputies out campaigning for him.

Anonymous said...

NEVER TATER!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

All of you who have commented take several deep breaths. Now go back and look at the list of candidates that you are commenting on. That's a sad list of politicians.

But, look on the bright side. Go look up the supervisor's race in Marion County, where you had the choice between "Blue" Eugene Green, George "P-Nut" King and Steven "Pork Chop" Stringer.

Roll on Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

I am a never tater and under no circumstances will vote for him so I’ll hold my nose and vote Waller. Tater is not well liked by everyone and Waller entertaining the race proved that. No way the republicans would have encouraged him to do so if tater was as strong as he thinks he is. The position of Governor is cheerleader but if not enough people follow you then you will just be a dead duck. Phil didn’t like Tate but believed his own press and wanted to be a know my maker so he would be richly rewarded. Tate has nothing to offer and is just waiting to be lifted up on the throne. In the end nearly half of the republicans are against Tate but all dems will Talley around hood. Republicans will be slaughtered.

Anonymous said...

I'm appalled that Victor Mason made a runoff. Horndog harrasser needs to be sent to the house.

Anonymous said...

7:52/8:25… Taggart is still a Never-Trumper and is more closely aligned with Lumumba when it comes to sanctuary cities and open borders.

Anonymous said...

9:52 Thought this might be a joke and looked it up. Classic!

Anonymous said...

Is there precedent for a very popular Lt. Gov. candidate endorsing a candidate for Governor? I have no idea if Delbert and Waller see eye to eye on much, but imagining those 2 doing town halls around the state giving voters a sense of how they would work together on issues...would be a death blow to the Reeves campaign. I will hang up and listen to the experts tell me why this won't work.

Anonymous said...

Fitch is not qualified. Once upon a Lynn-Fitch-Mitchell and I work closely for years. We worked again together post-Mitchell. Politically, I am more liberal than conservative: I laughed out loud when she first announced she was running for office as a Republican. I was speechless (which is difficult for a lawyer) when it appeared she would be running for AG.

Off-camera there is no question she is liberal. Look at her past jobs, writings (both legal documents and publications) and speak to the countless people she has worked with, and certainly those that have worked For her.

She is talented and smart; however, she is not experienced in any way as a trial attorney. Has anyone looked at her court-room experience? Can anyone list legal proceedings where she was even listed, and acted, as lead counsel?

Again, she is highly-educated, quite smart and adept at controlling and wrangling a room of lawyers and media. She comes from old family money. These are the attributes of a true politician - just not an Attorney General

Anonymous said...

8:14 - You obviously know nothing about Libel. Nothing libelous about saying a public figure 'supports abortion'. You can stand on the courthouse steps with a megaphone and make that statement sixteen times at noon and not be guilty of a damned thing. But YOU were guilty of being uninformed right away.

Anonymous said...

Thank God Haley's boy, Nic Lott, is history. What the hell has he ever done other than grow a curly head of hair? But, Haley can still hire him to tag along with him to gatherings, giving the illusion of diversity.

Nic is short for NI(n)Compoop, right?

Anonymous said...

Tate Reeves doesn't have the charisma, record, or ideas to convince his critics that he's the best man for the job, so he's going to rely on a slew of attack ads painting Hood as the biggest liberal to the left of AOC to scare the NeverTaters into coming home to him in November (assuming he wins the runoff).

Anonymous said...

I know Taggart.
I don't know Fitch.
I'm voting for Fitch.

Anonymous said...

6:32, guess if you met Fitch you would be voting a write in....

Anonymous said...

I know Taggert.
I know Fitch.
I'm absolutely voting FOR Fitch.

Anonymous said...

At an economic development luncheon several years ago, I found myself sitting at a round table next to Tate Reeves, a man I had never met. He came across as arrogant, distant, self centered, cold, and shallow. He made a lasting, negative impression on me.

Tate’s arrogance was punctuated by his attempt to use his influence to cause a “private” road to be built for his upscale Rankin County neighborhood.

Based on the election results, folks in his home county feel the same way as I do. I have never voted for him and never will.

Tate is a lightweight and will be another embarrassment to our state if he wins.

Anonymous said...

8:25 pm You are what's wrong with this Nation.
You'd vote for someone you know is despicable for your party to win.

Hood carried in his town and precinct and will get more than a few conservative votes, including mine. You see, he's trustworthy and actually has behaved like a person who respects others. The differences I may have with him in general philosophy are minor compared to the character of the two men .

Hood has not ( as yet) behaved as a man without character. Reeves has.

Anonymous said...

I saw this posted on a political page. States what I think:

"Waller served the Supreme Court well, he has a lot of military experience, retiring as a Brigadier General, and as a judge he ran non-partisan. He has the ability to work with both sides. He hasn't made enemies of every legislator in both houses."


Anonymous said...

That’s what you call a Bush style RINO.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 'Never Tater' guy, and I will NOT vote for him if he wins the nomination. I won't vote for Hood either. I'm not one to sit out elections, but I'll just write in somebody else's name when I vote for governor. Ernest T. Bass or Otis Campbell will get at least one vote.

Anonymous said...

@ August 7, 2019 at 4:41 PM

Waller will not lose a single voter who switches to Tate. Tate will lose tons of voters who were only voting for him because they thought he was going to win. The common republican only going off name id that voted for Tate is much more likely to stay home in 3 weeks and that hurts Tate.

I hope you are right.

I was glad to see Buck Clark and Mark Baker eliminated. Getting rid of Tate would be the trifecta!

Mississippi needs pragmatic sensible politicians from both sides. Sh*t just needs to get done - improve the biggest airport, get these roads and bridges up to date, get our counties with the highest unemployment rates some help with attracting businesses, get our teachers paid, fund education, bring attractions to the state bring in revenues, and do something about our healthcare system. Those are issues that affect the state as a whole.

The only thing Tate Reeves gives a damn about is his ego, his subdivision, and his campaign donors. And his campaign donors don't care about any of the aforementioned issues, because they can't make money off it for themselves - so they pump up to $7 million dollars in his campaign to keep any of that from happening.

It's time to get his a** out of Mississippi politics.

Anonymous said...

The harsh comments and doom and gloom about Tate Reeves are so similar to what people were saying about Joel Bomgar a few weeks ago....until he won by double digits.

People who feel like were done wrong can be very combative and poisonous on an anonymous message board. But Tate wins this easily.

Anonymous said...

7:20 AM—-likewise—-
I know Kasich Taggart very well.
I know Fitch somewhat.
I am most definitely voting for Fitch.

Anonymous said...

Just tossing this out there, but does ANY fellow pol or supporter really LIKE Tate? Waller supporters and voters like him and even Tate claims to like and respect him, but I cannot think of many or even any of Tate's vocal supporters who say they LIKE him, only that they think for whatever reason he is a better choice than Jimmy Hood. Talk about damning with faint praise.

My wife and I have had some purely social casual interaction with both Tate and his wife (and none of us had any basis to expect anything political including support from each other) and in that context, both seemed decent and likable. However, it is my understanding that when it comes to the political context and interaction, he is not well-liked by his Mississippi political peers. It seems pretty clear that Waller voters are truly Waller supporters and will continue that support and voting in the run-off. It also seems clear that some measure of Tate's voters are also truly supporters, so some number will turn out for the run-off, but since many of those voting in the primaries showed up mainly to vote for local candidates and voted for Tate because they recognized his name, I would guess that many of Tate's primary voters will not show up for the run-off just to vote for him again over Waller. Look at the Jackson, Harrison and Hancock County returns: heavily Tate, but can that carry through to the run-off? I doubt it.

Hell, if I were Tate, it would a dilemma whether to just take the $5 million or so in my election kitty on back to the house and live to fight another day or go after Waller, make even more enemies doing it, and then spend every nickle and then some in the knife fight with Jimmy. Geez, I don't think even Haley managed to, er, "acquire" $5 mil as Guv (at least not that he could openly spend), so it would seem that 5 mil in the bank is worth a hell of a lot more than a few years being the (Im)PotenTate of Mississippi. I'd further guess that he could at least get elected to the (U.S.) Senate for relative pocket change - I'd put him at 9/10ths elected against Cindy Lou simply by appearing on the ballot - half-a-dozen fishfrys later, it'd be Senator Tater to you. As long as he didn't really stomp on his dick with the voters he could easily be another Thad or Trent, at least in Mississippi. And by all appearances, he'd actually make a better senator than governor.

Anonymous said...

I know Tate and his wife because our kids are at the same jr high school. Like the previous commenter, I have asked for nothing from him and he and I have always had a cordial, respectful relationship. Like the previous poster, I too think he missed his calling by not taking the US Senate seat when he had the chance.

That being said, most of the Tate Hate is coming from a handful of highly vocal folks in Hind/Madison/Rankin ctys. I truly believe that if either Tate or Waller is the nominee, either will beat Hood in the fall. Tate may only get 52% but that's a win. Waller may get 55-57% but that is also a win. Although I am a conservative, I am fine with either.

Anonymous said...

Tate beats Waller as a warm up for Hood.
As said above there is little difference in Waller/Hood platform.
Why not try to help the president. The president has had to fight virtually by himself. The least MS can do is elect a Republican that has vowed to help where he can. Elect Tate for MS & USA.

Anonymous said...

8:25 pm You are what's wrong with this Nation.
You'd vote for someone you know is despicable for your party to win.

Since you voted for Hillary, does your comment apply to that as well?

Ode To A Blind Voter said...

I know Taggart
I'm voting for Fitch
I've run my car into a ditch.

When I read about the job
I think what I saw
Was that it frequently involves
The practice of law.

Yet there's only one person in this race
Who's ever in life actually tried a case,
But, so what, I don't care and I'll still vote for Fitch
While I'm in this ditch.

Anonymous said...

Taggart equals Mississippi Romney!

Why are you worried about Fitch? Better than Taggart and can't possibly hire as many outside lawyers as Hood has.

Tate will win. He will not spend us broke. He will not support the current gasoline tax increase. Tate will win.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, PLEASE start a new discussion regarding Archie and Benford. How in the world did the Dems let these certifiable people run? Let alone get into a run-off? Jackson needs to know about this. The people who voted for them either don't know them or hate Jackson and Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

1:42, commenting on 2:54:

I have seen a fair amount of "Tate Hate" on the coast. Granted, he put a hurting on Waller down there in the primary so it will be interesting to see how it plays out now that Waller has shown he is a viable GOP choice. I do agree that whether it's Tate or Bill in the runoff, the next guv will have (R) after his name. Mississippi is changing, but not that much, which is unfortunate on a number of fronts save for Jim Hood becoming guv - that would not be a particularly good or welcome change for the state. As to the possibility of Senator Reeves, I'd vote for Waller in the runoff but would also vote for Tate in a Senate race because I think he and Elee would be asset to Mississippi in the Senate but he would not be in Governor's Mansion.

Anonymous said...

So which one of these candidates for governor is going to get Mississippi off the bottom of every bad list and to the top of at least one good list?

Tater For Senate? said...

As if the post at 9:59 isn't disjointed enough, the poster concludes with Reeves running for the senate. It's unclear whether he's talking about our statehouse or Cindy Bryant-Smith's current seat, but both are equally inane thoughts.

Anonymous said...

So which one of these candidates for governor is going to get Mississippi off the bottom of every bad list and to the top of at least one good list?

It's DEFINITELY not Tate Reeves! The ones that support him are still drinking that Tea Party kool-aid, talking about spending the state broke - while he's having special roads built to his house and the rest of the peons have to drive over potholes or around for miles because bridges are closed.

Anonymous said...

Just tossing something else out there:

Anyone who thinks that the runoff between Tate and Bill will be a "warm-up" for the race between the winner of the runoff and Jimmy Hood hasn't been paying any attention.

By all indications so far, the runoff will be a relatively sedate, mostly genteel gin rummy game between two guys at least trying to look like southern gentlemen. Sure, there might be some unfortunate and regrettable words used, but nothing a little time cannot heal.

On the other hand, the race for Governor is shaping up to be a very expensive brawl (complete with lots of "dark" money and ugly campaigning from out-of-state interests) that will almost certainly leave each side/party/candidate bloody and even more unpopular with about 50% of the voters/citizens and could easily cause the state more unneeded embarrassment and negative national media coverage. It is like comparing a country club tennis match with an all-out guns-and-machetes war between the Bloods and Crips - there may be some bruised egos and hurt feelings in the former, but there will be lots of killed and injured in the latter.

Anonymous said...

If Tate would just buy himself a fedora and red suit and go bottle-blonde and learn from Ricky Cole how to talk like Junior Samples, he'd have a shot. He's got to get himself a gimmick. Maybe a lunchbox or a tackle box. Or a box of shotgun shells.

For those of you who've been wondering: Do you know what Tater Reeves and Lynn Fitch have in common? They both spent years in the State Treasurer's office and accomplished nothing. But the advertisements for college savings plans cost somebody a bundle. Wonder who.

Anonymous said...

Someone said, "The harsh comments and doom and gloom about Tate Reeves are so similar to what people were saying about Joel Bomgar a few weeks ago....until he won by double digits."

Newsflash Junior Leaguer: People are still saying the exact same thing about Bomgar AFTER the election. Winning by double digits changed nothing in the minds of a large percentage of the electorate. We lost but learned from it. The rest of you will wake up along the way. Maybe even you....

Anonymous said...


Keep Karl Banks out of the Madison County Office Complex. Support and vote for Jim Harreld. Banks is a combination of David Archie and Kenneth Stokes with a pinch of Lieutenant Graham's ethics.

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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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