Uh-oh. The city of Jackson is now charging churches and funeral homes for parking downtown. The good ole parking meter dude showed up at a funeral today to chastise a funeral for using its own parking meter bags as has been the practice for years instead of getting a city of Jackson bag for $5 per day. WAPT reported:
Thursday, August 29, 2019
Classy!
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
25 comments:
I see nothing wrong with this. Good for Jackson for finally enforcing rules.
The news guy was pretty bad at asking questions. The guy being interviewed did good until the ending comment.
If a family member dies what else should they get for free from the city? Flowers, caskets, burial plots, money...?
publish..in...the...newspaper...
all 10 readers...
If it can be done, the City of Jackson can do it badly.
What do you want to bet that this is only for certain churched and funeral homes?
Shakedown mentality. Four churches mentioned with meters are the wrong color.
Someone failed to let Antar know how many Hispanics are attending St. Peter's. He knows damn well that Bennie's memo said the Hispanics get everything they want no questions asked.
It seems to me, that if the city is going to charge for meters they should at least send some notice out
This occurred at the funeral of a priest, no less.
Now, if they could just enforce parking rules around the JPD building. They park in the street, partially in the street, beside fire hydrants, on corners, on sidewalks, etc.
All churches and funeral homes will be relocated to Madison/Ridgeland. Problem solved. Old facilities can be repurposed into feeding sites. everyone wins!
There’s no greed like government’s greed. Except for funeral home owners that exploit the living because of their grief for the dead.
@1:12, AMEN! President Street between the courthouse and Chancery Court is a bear too. But most of the offenders are patrol cars, so I suppose ticketing would be of no use for them.
My goal is to never set foot within Jackson again.
I can't believe it took this bunch of "City of Jackson: Leaders/administrators/idiots " so long to think of another way to scam ANYONE that ventures into Jackson.
Damn, one can't even have a funeral in Jackson anymore. . . without getting screwed.
I wonder . . .
Will any of these parking charges be used to cut the grass at the City Cemeteries ?
I'm sure Cedarlawn Cemetery will look as like it did in the old days . . . once these funds realize accrued interest.
Sorry.
I'm kidding myself.
Why doesn't Jr. Lumumba have a transition tax on all bodies handled by Jackson mortuaries? No pun intended but they'll will make a killing.
I'm affiliated with a funeral home and we were aware of this new process, maybe you missed the memo!!! For the sake of the families we need to stay on top of these things!!!!
Can you imagine grieving relatives having to dig into their pockets to go feed the meter each hour.
Also, Now, Kennnuf Stokes want to make all Drug stores stay open for 24 hours in Jackson.
You should feel blessed by the City of Jackson, because you would be the only funeral home notified. None of the downtown churches are aware of it nor any of the funeral directors I have spoken to today. Why don’t you tell us what firm you are with.
Goodness, has JPD parking enforcement ever bothered to drive down the road between JPD and the Hinds courthouse? City and county vehicles are parked 3 deep, some even on the sidewalk. Every fire hydrant on every corner around the courthouse has not one, but three cars parked all around it. Most have city or county markings.
I imagine that @7:01 is affiliated with the funeral home with which Lumumba, Jr. has his pre-arrangement policy. Jr. wanted to be sure all costs were covered so he informed them of the new policy.
What's the deal with Congress St between Pearl and Pascagoula Streets always being closed with the orange barrels but cars are always parked in the spaces?
August 29, 2019 at 7:01 PM = Fake comment
OK...so, what's the answer? Does the driver of each car get out and feed the meter and be sure it's fed again later? That's not practical. Do the funeral homes receive and pay an assessment in advance and add that to the family's invoice? That might be practical. The only other option I can think of is for the church to pay some sort of reasonable assessment on the day of the funeral and eat that charge.
But, really, the only difference between being parked there for a funeral and being parked there for any of many other purposes is the (assumed) presence of grief. The grieving should not get a pass. Anybody who drives into Jackson is grieving.
@12:51
I believe you are referring to illegals rather than just Hispanics. I attend St. Teresse South Jackson were around 40% Hispanic. Many are legal or 2nd generation. Big difference between an illegal and a Hispanic illegal. One knocks and the other invades. Proud American of Honduran roots here. I also hire 3 Americans and have a paper shredding business in metro Jackson. So count me in for sending illegals home.
Some will never be billed. In third world countries rules and laws are not applied fairly.
I wonder if the city would be willing to help pay for my new tires and front end alignment.
Better yet how about they squash the balance of my $1600.00 water bill.The bill I do not actually owe.The same bill that came with the not so great water quality report. IVE ALWAYS PAID FOR WATER.PARKING AND MY TAXES. WHERE DID THAT REVENUE GO ......NEW METERS MY A** this will be another jacktown hustle or maybe they will beautify the neutral grounds of another raggedy street or plant some knock Rose's
I dont give a RIP about a parking meter.Whenever find myself having to park downtown its usually in a private but you must pay to park scenario.Usually because I'm going to court for a ticket etc etc due to JPD having time to chase me up and down these wagon trails they call streets
Sounds like they want the citizens and patrons of downtown businesses to respect their guidelines while they use sketch ass tactics and lame b.s.excuses in an attempt to seem like they are getting something done. LAST BUT NOT LEAST WHATEVER HAPPEN TO THE DAY OF RESPECTING THE DEAD AND THEIR FAMILIES.ALL MY RANTINGS ASIDE CAN WE NOT AFFORD MOURNERS THE SAME LUXURY AS OUR CITY OFFICALS WHO DO NOT PAY FOR PARKING. THEY TAKE UP BOTH SIDES OF SOME STREETS ON ANY GIVEN DAY.THEY COULD MAKE UP THE MONEY THERE AN LET FUNERAL HOMES SLIDE ALL TOGETHER
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