Sunday, August 16, 2020

Zoo Opens Saturday

The Jackson Zoo issued the following statement.

The Jackson Zoo will welcome weekend guests THIS SATURDAY, August 22nd, at 10 am!

Of course, due to COVID-19 concerns, we are currently restricted in both capacity (under 500 persons per day) and hours (Saturdays 10 am to 4 pm, and Sundays 1 pm to 4 pm).

We have also instituted standard CDC approved safety guidelines throughout the park:

mandatory online advance ticket purchase and member reservation
mask and social distancing requirements
directional zoo paths
additional sanitizing stations
increased surface cleaning
other measures that will keep our animals, staff, and visitors better protected from illness.

TICKETS ON SALE SOON! More details at

Kingfish note: The Zoo nor Zooceanarium have a USDA Class C License.  The USDA has not performed the required inspection.  The USDA is granting a temporary approval during the pandemic. 


Anonymous said...

I think i would rather watch YouTube videos of the Pyongyang zoo.

Anonymous said...

Are the feral dogs the feature exhibit until USDA shuts it down again? Would any of you send your kindergarteners on a field trip there?

When you zoo lovers cruise along West Capitol Street, look for a Browning Sweet 16 shotgun that someone may be trying to sell. Heaven forbid, don’t stop. Just post back on here and let me know which intersection is closest.

Anonymous said...


Now THAT is funny

Anonymous said...

Hoping for the best! The Jackson area is better for this place, and this site would similarly be better if people like 5:55 and 6:33, with nothing of value to add, would learn to just scroll on.

Anonymous said...

The pandemic and all it's limitations will take it's toll. That will be the ultimate reason the city administration gives for finally closing down. It's obvious that without this Covid-19 the zoo was about to have a banner year. People from all over the country were preparing to come to the new and improved Jackson Zoo. Just bad luck. Damn virus!

Anonymous said...

Too little too late. Rankin County already has a replacement for the Jackson Zoo that is growing bigger and better. No suprise its success is due to the fact that it's not run by democrats.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to bring my Polaroid camera. The Jxn Zoo is the most throwback classic place ever.

Anonymous said...

I got freaked out the last time I went. It Was about four months before it Closed. I was there with my daughter. The place is so run down that it makes you worry if the animals can get out. We were the only folks there. I didn’t see any staff. I would hear a tiger roar and I would think, shit is he out! Where in the hell is he!

Anonymous said...

9:22 PM, wow, very good point. I was thinking about going but I don't want to volunteer my body as their treat. It's one thing to be an organ donor or to donate your body to science, but it's another to simply advertise yourself as Tiger sashimi. Just remember, we are a delicacy to them and all it takes is one hole in the fence.

Anonymous said...

500 people a day limit? Serious question-that would be about 180,000 people a year- probably double what the most recent years were. Did the city lie to Zooocenarium to get them to take the contract?

The Zoo was nice at one time and so was the area around it.

Anonymous said...

If a zoo opens in the middle of an urban warzone and no one is around to visit it, does it make a profit?

Anonymous said...

I wonder what the allowable per day count for the state fair is going to be. Hmmmm?

Anonymous said...

Only 500 people a day! When was the last time 500 people visited the zoo in one day? It might be insightful to look at daily attendance figures prior to this pandemic.

Anonymous said...

How much will re-opening cost the City?

Anonymous said...

"This is OUR zoo!"

Anonymous said...

8:06 As the mob accountant said "What do you WANT the books to say?"

Anonymous said...

Anyone know the over/under on their chances of being required to invoke the 500 person rule?
Asking for a friend...

Anonymous said...

Anyone want to make any bets on how long it lasts? I'd bet lunch but everything is closed. My bet is 6 to 12 months.

Anonymous said...

I will go to the Jackson Zoo because I think that Jackson resident sure support our city just like Rankin, Madison support there city to just dismiss the zoo because of it location is sad. North, South and west Jackson sure support each other no matter what side of town you live.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS