Thursday, May 28, 2020

Mayor Extends Curfew for 5 Days

Jackson Urban Praetor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following executive order.




27 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Grand Poobah

Anonymous said...

So this means that COVID-19 must be a nocturnal virus - I'll be on the lookout!

What an ill-reasoned pile of shit this order is.

Anonymous said...

Another non-meaning ruling by Tyrannis Rex Wheelcock. Didn't even know this was being enforced.

Readers Digest condensed version said...

WHEREAS Baby Patrice Taliaferro has no clue, THEREFORE the absurdity will continue.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, it's like George "Kingfish" Stevens is making the rules from down at the lodge hall.

Anonymous said...

This is not what this section of the Miss. Code is for. The order is limited by law to five days and no emergency exist that could not be handled by the City Council. A Mayor can not make a law.

Anonymous said...

Does the mayor not realize that when government does something really stupid, it erodes respect for government? This is still the land of the free. When I read stupid proclamations like this, my blood boils. I want to organize a car caravan to drive around the mayor's home starting at precisely 11:01 pm. Stop the jackassery.

Anonymous said...

How many killings the past week? Curfew is meaningless.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Baby Chock understands how meaningless and irrelevant this silly extension is. This fellow seems to be trying anything to get attention and appear to be like one of them big city mayors

Anonymous said...

With a curfew, there is no crime. I hope the donut shops stay open late.

Baby Chok is a Closet Commie said...

Baby Chok gets his marching orders from Bloomberg and Soros.

Anonymous said...

So, if I go walking tonight when nobody else is out, I might catch a virus?

Anonymous said...

I can’t think of any reason not to permanently curfew Jackson at 10 PM every night. Just look at the times of those street murders at a current level of 2 each week.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Baby Chok will get promoted to Mayor of Pelahatchie.

Anonymous said...

Soooooo Mayor, if I am traveling from Byram to Flowood on “non essential business” you have the right to arrest me on I20? Who drafted this crap?

Anonymous said...

1:16, in a word - yes. Mayor Lumumba has determined that COVID-19 is a nocturnal virus and only begins attacking victims after 11 pm...or something.

Anonymous said...

It looks like the West runway is repaved! How did the portable podium miss that? Did somebody forget to recharge it?

Anonymous said...

This little Taliaferro Junior is such a funny lil' man.

Credible messager said...

What a doushbag control freak.. Written permission? Reminds me of my ex. Kiss my black ass.

Anonymous said...

Clean up the street people at Northside and 55 at least try and make areas feel better.

Anonymous said...

Too bad this order doesn't carry the force of law and any violations will be swiftly dismissed.

Anonymous said...

Live it up Baby Choke. You've done an excellent job.... of exposing yourself as Kid Commie, aka Douchebag Kid. You're the latest Has Been after the next mayoral primary.

Even the people who voted for you are disgusted.

Albert Schweitzer said...

How long until this goofball can be ex-mayor?

Anonymous said...

@ 7:20
I can't wait to vote against Lumumba... I voted for him the last time. Huge mistake! I am confused about the I-55 North side clean up. People tell me it's the responsibility of MDOT... do you know? I do wish someone would clean it up.

Anonymous said...

7:38, what's keeping you from getting a crew together and doing it on your own? There are plenty of examples of citizens stepping up, and in this case it might even encourage others to take more pride in the appearance of their neighborhood! Set it up, and I'll bring my truck and a few of my friends!

Anonymous said...

OK, 7:38...Pick another intersection. Be our guest.

Anonymous said...

In other news...it seems that the Mayor has assembled a task force to deal with climate change...how about filling the fucking potholes first!

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.