WLBT is live-streaming the introduction of new Ole Miss Head Footbacll Coach Lane Kiffin. The stream is posted below.
Monday, December 9, 2019
The Landing of Lane
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- Post-election thoughts
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- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
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- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
37 comments:
Ole Lane has put on a few pounds over the last several seasons. He also looks awfully red in the face. I wonder if he coming off an all-nighter with one or two of those pretty little sorority girls?
Failing Upwards!!!
Alumni act like it's business as usual. Already crowing about getting $$ together for players. You do remember SMU don't you?
Somebody needs to run down to Cheaper than Dirt and buy their new coach a shirt with a bigger neck size. He’s about to suffocate up there.
Close your leg humper eyes for a moment and pretend the penalty didn't happen on Thanksgiving night and OM wins the game. Leg humpers fire Slo Jo Mo and rebels retain Luke. Leg humpers then hire Kiffin. The leg humpers would be drooling all over themselves today with excitement, while rebel fans would be making the jokes about Kiffin's weight, etc. and bragging how the OM program is on the rise.
Ole Miss is in bad shape on a lot of levels. Net loss of over 800 students in one year. National negative publicity from the name "Ole Miss." The Emmett Till sign. The chancellor search. The post-Freeze hangover. Constant distractions and protests from students and faculty.
I see this as kind of a Hail Mary. The risk from Freshwater is clear, but the decision calculus is basically, "We don't have much to lose. If we don't make positive headlines soon, we're looking at long term decline anyway, so we might as well roll the dice."
The Lane Train is going to have a blast in Oxford, being that he's a single, eligible bachelor with lots of ca$h. I'm glad I don't have a daughter going to OM.
The fact that WLBT is live-streaming it speaks volumes about that station, this state, and why we are #51 in all the good rankings and #1 in the bad ones. I'm a native Mississippian with two degrees from SEC schools who played football in high school. Can you imagine what it might be like if our state obsessed over things that mattered?
3:33 PM, very astute thinking. I can't believe the chancellor has lasted this long. More people think Epstein actually killed himself than think the Ole Miss Chancellor is legit.
You can't believe anything these head coaches say, particularly during their first weeks/months. Mullen promised MSU a national championship. All of us knew he was just peeing on our leg when he made that outlandish claim. Well, most of us did.
PREDICTION - Kiffen's tenure will be either a Boom or a Bust. Of course, it could be both. Boom for a couple of years and then a big bust.
3:39 -- To this point, does anybody else thinking OM will eventually regret using "All Aboard" as their marketing slogan here?
3:28 - you can "what if" all you want, but the reality is it didn't happen that way. And there is one big flaw in your fairy tail - Moorhead may ultimately prove to be a bad hire (and I think it was), but the powers at State College were not about to fire him after just two seasons.
The "Boy Blunder" is saying all the right words. Even mentioned the Lord's plans for Lane.
After watching the "Wall Street" video, if Kiffin is "Gordon Gekko" and Ole Miss is "Bud Fox", it won't be a pretty ending for the Plantation U Confederates.
I like the hire. Hotty Toddy. The Matt Luke hire (and sweetheart contact) was the problem.
Man, I love the Wall Street clip. I need to watch that movie again ASAP. Blue Horseshoe loves Bluestar Airlines.
The Lane train wreck!
Has anything been shared about his $$ package?
We can do it, yes we can.
Cause Jo Mo, Slo Mo is our man.
On to the music city bowl.
We are on the way up.
Well, at least there is someone in the state now that can afford to attend Tate's 250,000 per plate dinner. Hope they are having something tasty.
1:42, I'm sure you nailed it (just like Lane did as he was getting his final shots in recognizing that he would be leaving that stash and having to establish a new one on the Square.)
You know, it might be a while before he could get back - you know, to close on the house, or whatever, and Christmas was coming soon, so why shouldn't he?
I predict the "SEC Shorts" writers will eventually have some fun with this one.
Did he tell his players in Florida bye? Or did he tell them he wouldn't leave except in a wooden box?
Well, at least there is someone in the state now that can afford to attend Tate's 250,000 per plate dinner.
Because it certainly isn't remotely close to being you.
Come on 7:11, can't you come up with something more original? And how many times are you going to repeat this. Mullen left the leg humpers without hesitation and his wife had the house packed within hours seeking to get the hell out of Stankville. As I recall, he repeatedly stated how happy he and wife were to be in Stankville and he was there to win a championship. However, that is what coaches do right before they leave for a better gig - they lie. It is not unique to ole miss and it is not unique to the leg humpers.
@8:28, this is floating around out there on FB. Can only assume that it's legit.
https://www.facebook.com/Brandon042/photos/a.1897436503892718/2206376796332019?type=3&sfns=mo
You're a damned fool if you think MSU would take even a first, much less a second look at Lane Kiffin. Nor would any other SEC school.
Will Kiffin be in the Chancellor's photo op when the Memorial Statue to the deceased and maimed students is removed? Gotta keep the liberals happy.
But, you goobs keep attempting to make it about Stankville, SloMo, Mullen and Leg Humpers...but never forget who won the most eggs during Mullen's visit to MSU. Hint, it damned shore waren't the RebBearSharks.
More Cowbell - it seems that you are the one trolling an article about the OM coach (rather than studying up on your 10th bowl game in 10 years). It sounds like you and your fellow Leg Humper alums are still infatuated with anything and everything Ole Miss regardless if who the coach is,
MSU is living rent free in some Ole Miss fans heads.
Delta State has a real uncontested National Championship title in Football(even in modern times) in case you needed some truth on this Tuesday.
Alert - Music Bowl has issued a statement banning cowbells and leg humping at the bowl game. These bans will likely hurt attendance significantly.
Agreed 400pm, All Ole Miss fans that were going to be watching some post season ball in Nashville will not be in attendance. Their loss. On another note, Ole Miss will pay their new coach $100,000 if they make it to the Music City Bowl. Someone in Oxford thinks that is noteworthy accomplishment.
@ 4:52 PM - My grandson asked me, "Why does Mississippi State always play one more game than Ole Miss?"
7:14 you should tell him "its because Ole Miss fans think we suck. They don't like the extra money, the extra practice days for the team, or the chance to improve themselves".
To the sugar bowl guy up there, doesn't Ole Miss have to vacate that win? Wasn't this run with Freeze that has you all excited have an asterisk beside it?
Hey 8:23...
No, we didn't have to vacate the recent Sugar Bowl win or our beautiful Sugar Bowl trophy...and even if we did, we'd still have about 5 other Sugar Bowl trophies to gaze at...in comparison to your NONE! DEAL WITH IT, STUMP-PUMPER!
BTW, think about this factoid...your BEST Head Coach in your "vaunted" (HAHAHA!) msu football HISTORY still had a losing SEC record at 33-39 and still had a losing record against power 5 schools during his tenure.
My gosh, it must be horrible to still be "little brother stuck in Stankville"!!! :D
My grandson asked me, "Why does Mississippi State always play one more game than Ole Miss?"
Well, 7:14...I hope you told that poor, flea-bitten, mange-infested grandson that's because you qualified for an academic bowl (after having 8 or so msu players busted for academic fraud/ cheating in order to get that silly bowl game) and that while placing a whooping on your opponent, you still ended up with a losing record of 6-7! HAHAHAHA!!!!!
As an LSU alum, I'm enjoying all of this.
Geaux Coach O! Geaux Joe! Geaux Tigers!
1:45...as a Rebel fan, I'm enjoying it too! :D
BTW, Geaux, Joe B! I'm rootin' for Coach O and the Tigahs all the way! That whoopin' on Saban and the Tide was beautiful!
I'm a bit surprised by all of the Leg Humper criticism about Kiffin and his baggage by fans who worshipped at the feet of Jackie Wayne Sherrill for ten years (a coach that no other program in the country would touch when he was hired). Just sayin.
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