Wednesday, December 25, 2019

PSA

Keep in mind that there is a bigger holiday threat than the porch pirates: the curb thieves.  These hoodlums pay attention to what you put on your curb so they can learn what brand new little gadgets you have in your home.  So don't put your empty Samsung 65 4K or S&W AR 15 empty boxes out on the curb.  Do what I do instead: put them on your neighbor's curb.  You're welcome.

13 comments:

Mike said...

May not be politically or environmentally correct but we burn boxes and wrappings.

Anonymous said...

1:12....Greta Thunberg is going to hunt you down...you have ruined her life!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hush Kingfish! You have to be quiet after you put out the decoys....

Anonymous said...

What manner of leftist cuckold doesn't use their holiday gift boxes for target practice?

Anonymous said...

KF, try putting them in front of a city councilman's, a Hinds County judge, or the Mayor's house. Then maybe they'll get on board with Mike Hurst and do something about the crime.

Anonymous said...

" Greta Thunberg ".

That's funny.

Anonymous said...

@4:00. Great idea. About 20 years ago my work truck got broken into at night. Somewhere along the line they broke into a judges car. I’m assuming that’s the reason I got a call along with the judge and we were able to meet the hinds county deputies not far from my house and the perps were hands in the back seat of the cruiser. I’m not kidding you. They wouldn’t have done a thing to retrieve my belongings if it didn’t involve a judge. I just happened to have some articles with my name and phone number on them and that’s how they contacted me At 2:00 am. It’s not a bad idea to place your address and phone number on certain things in the event they come up missing. But that can also be a bad idea in some cases. Life sure has gotten difficult because of, yep you guessed it...drugs! The main factor driving crime.

Yep..In a Handbasket said...

We haven't thrown away an empty box in 38 years. If you thought the shitter was full, you ought to see our attic. We use them for Christmas boxes since none of the stores have them any more. Same with egg cartons and those styro flats that steak comes in. You just never know what you'll need.

Speaking of what stores don't any longer have, did you find out the banks no longer have those holiday cash gifting envelopes? Had to pay 49 cents apiece for them at Walgreens.

Anonymous said...

In the past, I’ve taken empty TV boxes to my old apartment complex dumpster. I figured that they owe me from roach infested PTSD. This was all until I needed to utilize the service warranty, and the manufacturer required shipping in the original packaging.

I’ve slipped up once and put a box on the curb for a 80” mounting kit.

Just clicked on 5 pictures of bicycles.

Santa's Helper said...

Put all your Christmas gifting waste in large garbage bags, tie the bags up tightly with Christmas Ribbons and bows, put 'em in your pickup bed, park in front of Target for 30 minutes and go inside. Prollem solved.

Anonymous said...

Put all your gun boxes out in front of Kennuf's house... if you dare to enter the 'hood. Be sure and take pix to post.

Anonymous said...

All of my gun boxes just say PALMETTO STATE ARMORY or ANDERSON MANUFACTORING.

Too obscure for the local thuggers.

Loopy Lenny said...

I put two AR-15 and assorted alarm system boxes on the curb Thursday morning. With full color pictures.



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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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