Monday, November 13, 2017

Grinches or Angels?

Two Madison attorneys are trying to stop their neighbors from having their annual Christmas light display.  Eddy and Cecile Edwards  asked the Madison County Chancellor to issue an injunction against the Richardson family on Sundial Road in Madison and declare the display to be a nuisance.Mr. Edwards is an attorney at Phelps Dunbar while Mrs. Edwards is a Professor at Mississippi College School of Law. 



The Edwardses complain in their complaint:

6.   For the last several years, the Richardsons have set up a Christmas display production which is known and advertised as the Richardson Light Show ("Light Show") on their residence property at 219 Sundial Road, operating it generally on each night beginning the Friday after Thanksgiving Day and continuing until two or three days after Christmas Day. This is a total of 38-40 days each year. Attached as Exhibit "A" are photographs of the Light Show from prior years. By email sent to the Richardsons in December, 2016, and by a subsequent telephone conference in July, 2017, Plaintiffs advised the Richardsons that the Light Show was destroying the quiet enjoyment of Plaintiffs' residence and property. Plaintiffs requested that the Richardsons not set up the Light Show in Sundial on 2017 and thereafter. The Richardsons setting up the Light Show and placing on their property Christmas lights, blow up figures and wire/wooden framed characters in preparation for the 2017 Christmas Season.

7. The Richardsons advertise and publicize the Light Show through social media outlets such as Facebook and You Tube, through public news stories with local and regional television stations, newspapers and magazines, and through an individual website domain they own known as www.richardsonlightshow.com. .....
8. As a result of the display of the Light Show and the publicity and advertisements related thereto, tour buses and a large number of cars, sometimes over one thousand in a single night, enter Sundial on a nightly basis to view the Light Show.
They argue all of this commotion and promotion is a nuisance to their neighborhood that ruins their peace and quiet.   Residents can't get to their homes in a timely manner and first responders would be delayed if an emergency took place thanks to the alleged nuisance created by the Richardsons.

Then there is the matter of the air pollution.

20.   The idling vehicles waiting in line to see the Light Show emit air toxins, pollutants, and disagreeable and offensive odors to those Sundial residents living along Sundial Road and Sundown Road, thereby disturbing and endangering the Plaintiffs and others in the Sundial neighborhood and possibly creating material injury.
The Edwardses move on from being green (as in Grinch) to going Green to protecting the green as in taxpayer's money:
21. As a result of the extensive amount of traffic on Sundial Road during the Light Show, Sundial Road has been damaged. This damage has necessitated repairs and patching of cracks in Sundial Road near the Richardsons' residence and likely will require premature resurfacing of Sundial Road, all causing unnecessary costs to the taxpayers of Madison.

Sign them up for Madison County Misfits.  The Richardsons are accused of entering contests:

24.  The Richardsons have entered the Light Show in contests which pay monetary prizes. On information and belief, Plaintiffs would show unto the Court that for 2017 and 2018, the Richardsons have entered into a reality television show contest known as the Great Christmas Light Fight. The Richardsons sell Christmas decorations on Ebay and on Facebook like those on display in the Light Show. These actions cause the Light Show to constitute a commercial activity for which a "Home Occupation" permit must be issued by the City of Madison. No such permit has been issued to the Richardsons.
25. On information and belief, the Plaintiffs would show unto the Court that the reality television show contest in which the Richardsons have entered the Light Show for 2017 and 2018 is scheduled to film the Light Show during the week of November 6-9, 2017. The Richardsons have issued public invitations to numerous people to attend the filming. The filming likely will result in Sundial Road being blocked to residents, thereby increasing the nuisance for those neighbors who wish to enter and/or leave the Sundial neighborhood.  The presence of the film and productions companies will contribute further to the nuisance created by the Light Show.
The case is assigned to Chancellor Cynthia Brewer.



68 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ive visited the light show. Its nice and all but every year either my wife or I say that we could not live on that street.

Its just not a good location for that much traffic. Call me a grinch, but I agree with the attorneys that this is a nuisance.

Anonymous said...

these houses according to google maps are over 3 and 1/2 football fields apart.

Anonymous said...

Basically this light show is out of control. Every square inch of the yard is covered and traffic is terrible. I'm all for Christmas cheer and decorations but if I was a neighbor id be pissed too!

Anonymous said...

The traffic congestion on that road is pretty nuts during the holidays. I love going to see the lights. I would hate to be his neighbor or live on Sundial during the holidays while those lights are up.

Burke said...

Ditto to 3:18. It comes down to the value of being a good neighbor versus the need for attention. No contest. Judge Brewer will probably push for an out-of-court compromise. I hope it works.

WWJD?

Anonymous said...

THe display looks as if Christmas got sick and threw up all over the yard.

Anonymous said...


This can not be good for your law firm (Phelps Dunbar) and Mississippi college is a Christian University that supports Christmas in every way.

I really recommend that you withdraw your law suit. Did either one of you think this through? Do you have another job lined up?

Anonymous said...

Schadenfreude

Anonymous said...

3:31 - Im not sure what JC would do,...but I doubt he would threaten the livelihood of the plaintiffs. He may turn the other cheek?

Anonymous said...

I would sue them, too. The quiet enjoyment of one's home (much less unimpeded access) is paramount to some tacky decorations.

Johnny said...

I am with Eddy Edwards and wife. This light show is beyond the pale in a residential neighborhood regardless of the space between the homes. I agree this vain display of "Look at me!" causes much risk in that area. Also the length of time for this display is not neighborly at all. There oughta be a law!
Go Eddy Go! Where do I sign?
Johnny "Yankee" man.

Anonymous said...

Grinches all they way!
I hate a NIMBY!

Anonymous said...

Sock puppets have dispatched.

Anonymous said...

Think it’s “Ceelie” Edwards.

She’s one tough professor....she is the one who caught Allen Smith plagerizing and had him ejected.

Oh..Allen turned in a paper which had been written by...drum roll...Professor Edwards.

🤔

Syrian Immigrant Club said...

Will there be ponys?

Anonymous said...

"Doesn't believe anyone remember what Christmas is really all about?" - Charlie Brown.

Anonymous said...

Last year my family and I visited NYC during the Holidays. One night we jumped over to Brooklyn to view Christmas lights in a subdivision that decorated in a BIG fashion. It was literally every denomination within this neighborhood. These people CHOSE to embrace it and go with it. They CHOSE to work together and have cars park in designated areas and people walked the neighborhood and shared their homes/yards with perfect strangers. It was a fantastic experience. They welcomed my country bumpkin ass from Florence, MS with open arms. The point is...this was freaking NYC and people came together and find solutions. Why can't we? This is the freaking Bible Belt and we CHOOSE to be Asshats. We are better than this. My suggestion for the good people of Sundial Rd.....find a place to park cars, offer a shuttle, let folks walk the streets, heck let the kids sell hot cocca and donate the proceeds. It could be a huge success if the people CHOOSE to come together and quit being freaking lawyers!!!

Anonymous said...

3:46 — So Phelps Dunbar is going to fire this guy for arguing with Clark Griswold? Why? Are there a lot of bank CEOs and mayors who’ll change law firms out of loyalty to tacky Christmas lights?

Anonymous said...

It really doesn't matter how many football fields they are apart from each other. The event is a ghastly display of arrogant gauche commercialism and the plaintiffs live on this street. The Richardsons have bought or otherwise procured ever blow up plastic item known to man and Wally World and placed them on their yard, thousands upon thousands of these tacky items. Traffic is stalled, delayed or stopped altogether for miles, for hours every night for five weeks. All they need is belly dancers and an airport beam scanning the sky. I hope the plaintiffs prevail.

PS: I don't understand (or maybe I do) Kingfish's repetitive interjection of catty remarks aimed at making the plaintiffs look like the anti-Christ.

Anonymous said...

to 3;46 ,, its obvious by your absurd comment that you dont own any real property anywhere

Anonymous said...

Thank you 6:12

Anonymous said...

What an awesome display! What awesome Christmas spirit! How utterly neat and cool, and joyful and uplifting!

And we all get to see it for free and on somebody else's electric bill dime!!!

Get in the Christmas Holiday spirit snooty Madison lawyers, or maybe move further out into the country in Madison County.

Anonymous said...

6:12 makes good sense.

Anonymous said...


Lighten up Francis..................

Anonymous said...

There really is a scrooge.

Anonymous said...

This is sort of like pig farming. I'm all for pig farming because I love bacon, ribs, and pulled pork. But, I'm opposed to pig farms near my house because you can smell the pig shit and hear them squealing all the time.

Anonymous said...



"Last year my family and I visited NYC during the Holidays. One night we jumped over to Brooklyn to view Christmas lights in a subdivision that decorated in a BIG fashion. It was literally every denomination within this neighborhood. These people CHOSE to embrace it and go with it. They CHOSE to work together and have cars park in designated areas and people walked the neighborhood and shared their homes/yards with perfect strangers. It was a fantastic experience. They welcomed my country bumpkin ass from Florence, MS with open arms. The point is...this was freaking NYC and people came together and find solutions. Why can't we? This is the freaking Bible Belt and we CHOOSE to be Asshats. We are better than this. My suggestion for the good people of Sundial Rd.....find a place to park cars, offer a shuttle, let folks walk the streets, heck let the kids sell hot cocca and donate the proceeds. It could be a huge success if the people CHOOSE to come together and quit being freaking lawyers!!!"
November 13, 2017 at 6:12 PM

Considering that Brooklyn is kinda "The Pearl, Mississippi of New York City" (it's mostly working class, and there's famous crude accent associated with the place), it's a pity you didn't keep your "freaking" FOUL MOUTH up there (assuming you really went, and assuming you're really a resident of Florence - both of which I really doubt).

That neighborhood (or "subdivision"), by the way (the one you supposedly visited), is 'Dyker Heights'. It's part of a CITY - a properly-laid-out CITY, with city blocks - gridded. Gridding creates a wealth of alternative routes, for when something's obstructing traffic. Here: https://www.google.com/maps/place/Dyker+Heights,+Brooklyn,+NY+11228/@40.6214913,-74.0270936,14z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x89c24541cae4d5af:0xf7305901311ced04!8m2!3d40.6214932!4d-74.009584

There! See the street grid? New York is famous for its excellent infrastructure. Brooklyn has a magnificent layout (It was built during The Gilded Age, when there was a lot of money, and labor was cheap.) The streets have curbs and sidewalks - things considered luxuries, today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyker_Heights,_Brooklyn

Dyker Heights' layout and urban infrastructure SUPPORTS the movement of throngs of people.

Sundial road does not have curbs and sidewalks. It's basically a COUNTRY LANE - not intended for throngs of people, or month-long, bumper-to-bumper processions of vehicles (many of which, apparently, need tune-ups). There are no alternate routes, for when Sundial Road is obstructed.

I really think that you should leave Madison's "asshats" behind, and return to Brooklyn (we'll pretend you've actually been there) - taking the Richardson's Light Show with you. I'm sure that it would be a welcome addition, THERE.



Anonymous said...

And, they don't even mention how awful it looks during the day.
You might want to snap a photo of that KF.
Nor do they include how it's devalued the homes on Sundial. Who in their right mind would want to buy a home there?



Anonymous said...

Nor do they include how it's devalued the homes on Sundial.

Prove it.

Just Where IS Baby Jesus On This Lawn? said...

Interesting that someone would recommend 'they' move further out into the country if they don't like it.

What if I don't like four-wheelers running the streets in my neighborhood, or the neighbors having parties with loud music past midnight three nights a week, or people rutting up their yards by parking trucks in front of their house, or a mechanic down the street tuning up his A-Type Dragster all day Saturday and Sunday? Is your advice that I should move away to an area of solitude? Or would I be allowed to ask the authorities to restore some semblance of order and peace?

The people who favor this crap-display (has nothing to do with 'the reason for the season' as there ain't no Jesus on the lawn) can ride through with a six pack or a bottle of wine and head back home after they manage to extricate themselves from the madness. Then they can post about how much fun it was to visit Disneyworld in Madison.

Anonymous said...

The City of Madison already gave them a permit for the light show this year. So it's 100% legal. It's not like Phelps Dunbar & Mississippi College are getting the Sopranos "Whitecaps" treatment....

Unknown said...

I have gone to the light show for the past few years. It is highly enjoyable in theory and as a non-resident, but it has to be terrible for property values. I feel sorry for anyone who tries to sell a house on that street. There are a number of people who have posted that they would not want to be these people's neighbors, and I heartily agree. I would never buy a house there. Good luck to the Edwards on reclaiming their home!

Anonymous said...

I'm all for your freedom until it impacts mine. If this is open from 5:30pm until 9:00 or 10:00 EVERY NIGHT BETWEEN THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS then their neighbors are forced to leave work early or wait 30-45 minutes to get to their driveway from the time they turn on their street. I get mad if I get caught behind the school bus making four or five stops when I'm heading to work. I would be going nuts if I had to deal with this every day. The Richardson's claim of "Our mission is to inform our guests about the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ" is a little hollow given that I can't even see Mary and Joseph from the street through the acres of grinches, reindeer, elves, teddy bears, candy canes, and assorted other inflatable freak shows. These are not some liberal idiots complaining about a nativity scene on their neighbor's lawn, these are reasonable people who tried to resolve things on a friendly face to face manner but were ignored so now they are asking for the legal system to step in.

Anonymous said...

... these are reasonable people who tried to resolve things on a friendly face to face manner but were ignored so now they are asking for the legal system to step in.

How do you know?

Anonymous said...

Damn these two or three sock puppets are throwing out every sort of FUD they can think of! Next think you know they'll claim this Christmas display has led to an increase in crime.

Anonymous said...


BAAH HUMBUG:

It was the night before Christmas and no one was around
because the Edwards have sued everyone in town !

No one could make it home at night
But I shot the figure to the Edwards as I drove out of site !

Anonymous said...

Put that crap back in the trash where it came from.
If a person does not care more about their neighbors than that you can be sure the spirit of Christmas has nothing to do with the pile of trash they put in their yard.

Anonymous said...

Tacky lights for a home that is ripe for entry in the “tacky light tour”.

That traffic backs up to US 51 doesn’t impede emergency responders at all, does it?

Anonymous said...

Traffic is so jammed up that accidents can't happen!

But I'm worried about people with pacemakers that forget to tinfoil their torsos and then get too close to the strange radiation. If they don't have warning signs up they should!

Anonymous said...

wow it could get icy going for the paper. There are no bad guys here. I see both sides. I love the show go every year and when I leave so glad I don't live next to them. And don't worry abut Eddy Edwards he is one of the best tax attorneys in Southeast he will not be affected by this. Although he does ruin the fun for others I always hate when it gets to this point that legal proceedings begin between neighbors.

Anonymous said...

But guys, if the Richardsons are forced to take down their Christmas lights, how is Will going to communicate with us from the Upside Down? Anti-Christmas liberals ruin everything!

Anonymous said...

It takes me about thirty extra minutes to get home everyday during the holiday season too. But I live in Flowood and it's because of all of the shoppers coming into town. Who should I sue to take care of this problem.

Anonymous said...

You can tell by the comments that Big Eddie has his Only two friends are commenting. He is just mad that Mayor Mary made him sit down and shut up. He does not like losing. He is a bully that is use to getting his way. The judge will laugh in his face when he tries to sue a kid. Not just any kid but a kid spending his money for the community. I think Big Eddie and the wife need some Jesus to focus on and maybe they might decorate their home for Christmas and enjoy life instead of being miserable all the time. This is the south people tell Eddie to pack up his RV and MOVE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have no idea who "Big Eddie" is...but I know he is right. Other single entrance neighborhoods are impacted by this fiasco. In the spirit of Christmas, the owner should volunteer to set up their display on public property that is zoned for such traffic. They get to enlighten and inspire a plethora of passersby, all on the city's electric bill. Or is the fact that it is in THEIR yard part of the attraction?

Anonymous said...

1:13 - are the shoppers all going by one house in your neighborhood? Thought not. Apples to oranges.

Anonymous said...

The Edwards are very nice people and have done their best to resolve the issue without litigation. Why not move this to a public park that is in an area that can handle the traffic? No one in their right mind would want this next door and you can bet most of the homeowners on the street are hoping the display is moved before they try to sell their house. I hope the Edwards are successful in their effort to relocate the display!

Anonymous said...

"The City of Madison already gave them a permit for the light show this year. So it's 100% legal."

Count on it, Bozo. It must be legal since Mary told the Alderpersons to say so.

The town of Madison also ignores fireworks regulations. Does that mean it's legal to shoot them?

Anonymous said...

Well, since 3:32AM made presumptions about me I will make some myself. I presume since you posted at 3:32AM you spent all night looking up Christmas light displays in Brooklyn. While not my primary goal, I did hope some people would google that beautiful display. I hope that internet surfing showed the good side of what happens when people come together and that good things can come out of “working class” and “foul mouth areas “. Based on your assumptions, the good community of Pearl is second class. I think many people would disagree especially people that call Pearl Home. I’m well aware what the grid system is and how drastically different that is from the rural setting of Sundial Rd. Is it not still a road? Can people not still walk the side of the road? Is it ideal for pedestrians walking a road at night? No. Is it better than a log jam of cars? Could sightseeing sessions be scheduled? Could there be certain dates and times for viewing? Is there a viable
Compromise? I don’t know, but it seems like a viable solution can be found.

If I need to provide my birth certificate to prove I’m from Florence, I will, if I need to provide proof of being in Manhattan for a week last year, I will. I presume that in your mind Florence is third class and no one from there could possibly visit Manhattan and express a non-biased opinion while providing a real life example of what has been done in other areas of the world. What a Bush League, narrow minded, bigot filled rant. May I suggest that you may be a happier person CHOOSING to look for solutions rather than being a badgering, presumptuous, pretentious ASSHAT!!! MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS FROM THE FAMILY!!!

Anonymous said...

lights over lawyers. suspect the issue is delayed pizza delivery.

Anonymous said...

May the Edwards be visited by the Ghosts of Christmas till an attitude adjustment is accomplished.

Anonymous said...


I'm all for Christmas decorations, but this ain't the South Jackson (Whispering Pines Neighborhood) displays of 1975.

I wouldn't want such a monstrosity on my street either.

As others have said, let this family coordinate with "Madison the City" and set this up at a public venue . . . Strawberry Park or Bruce Campbell Field (AKA Madison International Airport) are the first areas that come to mind.



Anonymous said...

set this up at a public venue . . . Strawberry Park or Bruce Campbell Field (AKA Madison International Airport) are the first areas that come to mind.

Then you'd have a whole different group complaining about separation of church and state.

Oh, and 3:32, you sound like the biggest condescending tool ever. Brooklyn as the "Pearl" of New York. That as foolish as putting a chandelier in a tent.

Anonymous said...

6:51 am Prove it to yourself. Put the street and city into your search engine. You'll see the list of homes for sale by various realtors and by owner. You will see the square footage and lot sizes and asking prices.

Now put homes for sale in Madison in the same school district with the same square footage and see what you get on Zillow or Trulia. Note that few of those houses have anywhere close to the same lot size.

Or just look at the difference in the price of the house on Sundial that is far enough away from the display not to be affected.

Of course, you could have done that before you commented like I did.

Anonymous said...

Why not bus folks in? Have people park at Kroger or some other location and use vans.

Anonymous said...

@5:32 AM Prove that homes on Sundial have been devalued. I know your reading comprehension suffers but THAT was the claim. You can't prove the claim so you barf about stupid comparisons.

Anonymous said...

KF, I love the site, but I am constantly amazed that people who know nothing of the issue or parties involved make comments unsupported by any thought.
8:35 says snooty lawyers should move further out. The lawyers have lived on Sundial 15 years longer than the light show. Maybe the light show needs to move further out.
6:12 compare it to Brooklyn, and suggests walking around. That would be great. No traffic which is the major problem. Maybe the light show should agree to that.
6:51 values are subjective but I hear some people won’t even look at the house for sale near the light show.
8:36 Madison gave a permit but that does not make it right, just legal for a while.
1:11 hard to tell if you meant the lawyers were anti Christmas liberals. If so, I assure you anyone who knows them is laughing at you for even suggesting they are liberals.
1:13 see 4:56
4:31 I suspect the lawyers would gladly move. Why don’t you open your checkbook and make them an offer on their house?
9:56 the ghost may visit but they would have to sit in the traffic too.
6:54 I was told that bussing folks in vans was suggested but rejected by the light show. Costs too much.
3:21 there may be church and state issues with public property set up but one private landowner offered his property, security and Even to cover some of the electricity costs but the light show rejected because the contest with the $50,000 prize requires it to be a home display.

Interesting that of all the people who here and on Facebook say they love and support the light show only 1 said she would be happy if it was in her neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

This is the textbook definition of a nuisance. The Edwards will win.

Anonymous said...

I truly hope that a compromise can be made such as have the lights displayed on Wed/Fri/Sat during a set time or something of that ilk. I do agree with the lawsuit even though I enjoy seeing those lights with my kids each year. No way in hell I would want to live on that street dealing with that for a month every year. I fully understand the Edwards' decision to sue for injunction...it's the definition of a "nuisance".

Anonymous said...

Think it’s “Ceelie” Edwards.

She’s one tough professor....she is the one who caught Allen Smith plagerizing and had him ejected.

Oh..Allen turned in a paper which had been written by...drum roll...Professor Edwards.

🤔


@5:31

We must have gone to MCSOL together! I heard the "rumor" that Allen Smith plagiarized (in a VERY stupid way - like, not-changing-any-words stupid), but NOT that it was Prof. Edwards paper. Wow.

I had her for BA...was glad to squeak out a passing grade in that class. ;)

Anonymous said...

Nothing says "the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ" quite like toy soldiers twice as tall as the house . . .

Anonymous said...

I've suffered through the traffic twice, only to look for Jesus. I never did see him. But he could have been hidden under or behind Porky Pig, the giant green turtle, Yosemite Sam, the Empire State Building blow-up or the replica of Marilyn Monroe. I will look more closely this year.

Anonymous said...

8:29, while it may have taken YOU "all night" to find the Dyker Heights light show, I managed to find it with one quick google of, "Brooklyn neighborhood Christmas light show". That's it: first time. Less than a minute.

But then, I catch onto things real quick, which is something you don't seem to be able to do. For example, you seem not to "remember" that the houses in Brooklyn are very close-together (something you would have remembered, had you actually been there), while the houses on Sundial are very far apart. And no: throngs of people cannot "walk the side of the road" on Sundial. It seems to be grass, right up to the roadway. That would turn into a muddy mess, pretty quickly, if many people walked there.

Did you notice the sidewalks in Dyker Heights? They're an easy ten feet wide. Sundial, on the other hand, doesn't even have a paved shoulder.

In this case, people "coming together" would mean the Richardsons' unselfishly moving their light show to someplace appropriate for such a thing. But really, dear, your sentence from your earlier post, "It was literally every denomination within this neighborhood.", gives me a pretty good idea EXACTLY who you are. Telltale grammatical ticks, ya know...

I've been watching the video clips, and know who talks like that.

Anonymous said...

"Brooklyn as the "Pearl" of New York. That as foolish as putting a chandelier in a tent."
November 15, 2017 at 3:21 AM

Well, you must be from the BRONX of Mississippi (that would be a step down from the Brooklyn of Mississippi - someplace so backwoods that even the Pearletariat would consider it podunk), to not know that chandeliers hanging inside tents, are pretty much STANDARD, these days, for outdoor weddings.

Anonymous said...

3:21 - I know a guy who has a chandelier hanging in a boat carport. What's foolish about that? People are entitled to enjoy and display their oddities, but not when the display creates a public nuisance.

Anonymous said...

Let the Madison Kroger put all of that on top of the building facade and see how fast MHB breathes fire to metaphorically burn it down.
The traffic congestion IS the issue. If they could figure out something to deal with that, then it would be alright. Because of the very nature of “suburbia” and sprawl, they can’t.

What if there were an emergency in the area and the first responders couldn’t get through the traffic and someone died?

Anonymous said...

Madison PD will make sure any first responders get through. Non-issue.

Anonymous said...

8:22. Bullshit, plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

Debating Christmas displays and the effect there of = bullshit...get a job.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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