Friday, July 28, 2017

Ole Miss releases names of 9 boosters

The names are posted in the 2017 and 2016 NCAA notices of allegations.  I am going to post them below as I find them.


Booster #1: Darel Thigpen

 Booster (B1) allegedly gave free housing, meals, and transportation to five recruits. A sixth player was given free food and lodging as well.  This illegal assistance allowed them to enroll in summer classes somewhere (redacted) so they could meet NCAA eligibility requirements.  These players competed as members of the team between 2010 and 2013.


Booster #2: Walter Hughes

Mr. Hughes was accused of improperly contacting four recruits and providing them with "impermissable inducements" such as transportation and free meals for recruiting visits in Allegation #5.  B2 also paid for hotel rooms on other occasions. He also contacted the mother of a recruit after Recruiting Director Maurice Harris asked him to do so.  B2 also accompanied Head Coach Hugh Freeze and Harris on recruiting visits.  B2 paid the telephone bills for a recruit and his mother in one month.  He paid for two recruits to attend the Music City Bowl in Nashville. B2 arranged more off-campus visits between Harris and recruits and paid for transportation for recruits to visit the home of Coach Freeze. (p.6, j).  B2 accompanied them on their visits to Coach Freeze's home as well.  B2 even hosted recruiting visits at his home where both Harris and the recruit would meet each other.  B2 even showed his interest in their studies as he paid for the tutoring and academic assistance for three recruits in 2012-2013 term.

Booster #3: Cannon Motors and Michael J. Cannon

Allegation #19 accuses Booster #3 (B3) of "loaning" a Nissan Titan from his dealership to a player in 2014 The player elected not to get his car repaired and kept the loaner for another two months.  The allegation claims that the compliance department at Ole Miss knew about this "loan" but ignored it.  However, B3 allegedly loaned a 2004 used Chevy Tahoe (cheapskate*) to a player for three months and an Amrada for another month. B3 repeatedly allowed players to "borrow" vehicles for long periods of time when they brought in their vehicles for service.  One player purchased a 2010 Dodge Challenger from the dealership but did not actually make the $3,000 down payment even though the financing agreement stated he did so.

 Booster #5: Michael Strojny,

Allegation #18 claims Mr. Stroiny paid $800 cash to the step-father of a player in August 2014.


 Booster #6: Chan Patel

He made the mistake of providing free lodging at a business he owns to family members of Ole Miss student-atheletes.  Allegation #11 charges him with allowing one mother to stay at the (assumed) hotel for free for twelve
nights.

Booster #7:  Robert Dunlap

The "football program" arranged "free access" to some prime hunting land owned by a booster (B7) connected to the program in January 2013 (p.8).   The hunting trips took place during his official visit to Ole Miss.   B7 provided more hunting trips to the recruit after he became a member of the team.

 Booster #8: Rebel Rags

Booster #8 was the subject of Allegation #9.  The NCAA alleged that B8 worked with Kiffin and Assistant Athletic Director Barney Farrar, to provide several thousand dollars of merchandise from Rebel Rags to recruits and their family members.   It if further alleged that the two Ole Miss employees directed the players to Rebel Rags so they could obtain said merchandise.  These gifts took place between January 2013 and January 2016.


Booster #10: Lee Harris

  Booster 10 (B10) allegedly gave cash, food, and drinks to recruits and their families in 2014 and 2015.  The cash payments were allegedly between $100 and $200 to one recruit. The notice states:

It is alleged that between March 28, 2014, and January 25, 2015, Lee Harris (L. Harris), a representative  of the institution's athletics interests,22 provided between $200 and $600 in impermissible recruiting inducements in the form of cash payments and free food and drinks to then football prospective student- athlete [Student-Athlete 39] and [Student-Athlete 39’s] friends and family. Specifically, on two or three occasions in conjunction with recruiting visits to the institution, L. Harris provided [Student-Athlete 39] with cash payments of between $100 and $200,
as well as provided free food and drinks to [Student-Athlete 39], kids and family.
Booster #12:  John Doe


Booster #13:  Arya Keyes 

Allegation #14 shows the Puppetmaster (sarcasm) at work.  It charges Farrar with arranging more free transportation and hotel rooms for recruits and their family through the use of boosters in the summer of 2014.  Farrar supposedly had Booster #13 (B13) to subsidize transportation for one recruit's visit to football camp.  Booster #12 (B12) paid for another recruit to attend football camp.  B13 provided more transportation, hotel rooms, and meals on other occasions in 2014 (p.14).


Booster #14: John Doe

Allegation #16 states that B14 illegally contacted one recruit and gave him "$13,000 and $15,600" in cash payments.  B12 apparently worked for B14 and also delivered cash payments to the recruit.  The notices accuses Farrar of knowing these boosters were making payments to the recruit. Ouch. The alleged payments took place in 2014 and 2015.   Allegation #17 charges Farrar with lying to investigators and engaging in a cover-up of his wrongdoing.

Carla Belk is listed as on page six.

Only Boosters #12 and #14 are redacted.  Boosters #9 and #11 were not mentioned at all. 



78 comments:

Anonymous said...

Looks like Darrell Thigpen is a former UM grad and now a doctor in Dallas, TX

Anonymous said...

And Rebel Rags would be Terry Warren, per footnote 12.

Anonymous said...

Now Booster 14 can have the spotlight all to himself. Smooth.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if Cannon would give me a free rental vehicle? Wonder what was in the glove compartment. Nobody, Nobody can beat that kind of deal.

Anonymous said...

What a letdown! This reminds me of the moments after when Geraldo opened Al Capone's empty tomb.

Anonymous said...

Left out the worst part. A booster bought a bag of popcorn at a movie and actually let a recruit have some. Death penalty!!!

Anonymous said...

What happened to letting a poor kid sleep on a coaches couch and bought him a hamburger, must have left that one out huh?

Anonymous said...

oh my !!!
4-5 years of losing seasons.

Anonymous said...

Carla Belk, bottom of page 6

Anonymous said...

Most of these people are alleged to have given a few hundred to maybe a thousand dollars or so in benefits per player/recruit. But Booster 14 allegedly gave 28,600 in cash. Man did he overpay.

Anonymous said...

Carla Belk is listed too. Maybe she is Booster #4?

Anonymous said...

Chan Patel. Free lodging? Provided by a "Patel?" This may be a first ... since the beginning of commercial activity on the earth.

Anonymous said...

Darel - one L in the notice. Darell - two L's looks like a differenr person.
Or was that an intentional typo?

Anonymous said...

Every SEC school does this & even some JUCO schools like Gulf Coast does it as well. You all can stick your head in the sand & pretend OM is the only program that does, but you're sadly mistaken. Like Leo did the "right thing" and followed his heart to MSU! He followed a bigger payout.

Anonymous said...

Tip of the iceberg, folks...tip of the iceberg.

Or, rather, tip of the gigantic, unlubed NCAA prison sausage.

Anonymous said...

@4:05 These are just the "gifts" that can be 100 percent verified by the NCAA.
Its very difficult to track cash money exchanging hands if a university is so inclined to operate that way and the boosters are careful.

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing at the idiots on here that think this is all minor and petty. This is just the beginning. It will get worse. More will come out and in the end, Ole Miss will be toast because of the arrogance and ignorance of these snotty, "look at me" alumni.

Squatting-Potty!

Madison Rulz said...

Rinky dink. No hookers ?No blow?

Anonymous said...

Indeed, Anonymous @ 4:12 pm - every school does do this. However, UM just got dumb, careless and desperate, and got caught. You and your pompous Rebel brethren are about to pay for your stay in that echo chamber of eternal optimism and pretentiousness...

Lmao, ENJOY!!!

Anonymous said...

So is it safe to assume that freeze had hookers waiting in all of these hotel rooms for the recruits?

Anonymous said...

@ Madison Rulz....oh there was definitely hookers lol. Just ask Mr. Freeze.

Anonymous said...

It took thirteen responses this time before somebody chimed in with the “everybody else does it” excuse. Looks like the Ole Miss folks are growing weaker and weaker.

Anonymous said...

No hooker is coming from Tampa to Oxford for no amount of money. Y'all are trying to tie two scandals together but seriously, be realistic. The truth is bad enough.

PittPanther said...

Nobody cheats like Cannon Motors. Noooooo-body!

Anonymous said...

I mean, like, what good is college football if you can't purchase the best available products to go along with the fabulous decorum in the grove?

*How they think

Anonymous said...

https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2014/4/10/5594348/college-football-bag-man-interview

Read it and weep.

Anonymous said...

I went to both schools, and went to several football games at both schools . I was so surprised , but both times in Starkville many of the people I met were much more rude than at Ole Miss. If you think that Ole Miss is becoming weaker and weaker you better wake up. All this is going to do is get them amped up . One coach is not going to bring Ole Miss down. NCAA will not bring them down for good. There are many other schools that one day will be hit with many infractions whether correct or not in time . I wouldn't be laughing or being too pompous even jealous because Karma will hit whatever school you call home. It's sad to see so many enjoying this all over a ball . What fine men and women you must be, but what goes around...

Anonymous said...

Oh finally. I've been waiting for the "Bag Man Interview" post on the new thread.

Anonymous said...

Just curious for the people who are using the excuse that everybody does it....do you tell your children that when you're educating them on the difference between right and wrong?

Anonymous said...

@6:37
I don't expect Ole Miss to be brought down (MSU dream); I expect them, for once in their delusional lives to say, "Yup, we're guilty" and move the hell on to play another game.

No one, save the super crazed MSU fans, would be paying THIS MUCH ATTENTION if they hadn't dragged it out for so long. Instead of realizing a good crisis management strategy, they're dragging it out and it's making the investigation angle worse by trying to lawyer their way out of it. This must be what a judge feels like dealing with criminal defendants. Their genious legal counsel will destroy their own damn school and the MS taxpayer will be footing the bill.

I really really don't want to know what will show up in Bjorks phone records. And then, after him, who is next? The whole IHL?

Admiral Benbow said...

Making calls across state lines to solicit prostitution is slightly more egregious than supplying a room at an off-brand motel.

Anonymous said...

Watch out MSU fans. You know what they say about people who live in glass trailers.

Anonymous said...

it's about time KF got back to some real news that is relevant to our health and safety. thanks KF. i don't care what the others say, you are a true modern journalist.

Huston Knitt said...

Ole Miss is trying to charge Nutt's attorney $25,000 obtain Freeze's UM phone records. They say Mars has to pay for the review of the records by both UM's attorney and outside attorneys. Absolutely false. The Mississippi Open Records Law only provides for reasonable costs of reproduction. Based on their logic, I could request a copy of a university policy and be charged $500 for UM counsel to review it first. Obviously, that would likely keep me from obtaining it and they are doing the same thing with Freeze's records. Fortunately, Mars knows what he is doing and the bogus UM position will not fly.

Tattle Wireless said...

I am willing to bet almost every public official is scrambling to purchase a burner phone right now.

Anonymous said...

July 28, 2017 at 7:16 PM
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@6:37
I don't expect Ole Miss to be brought down (MSU dream); I expect them, for once in their delusional lives to say, "Yup, we're guilty" and move the hell on to play another game.

No one, save the super crazed MSU fans, would be paying THIS MUCH ATTENTION if they hadn't dragged it out for so long. Instead of realizing a good crisis management strategy, they're dragging it out and it's making the investigation angle worse by trying to lawyer their way out of it. This must be what a judge feels like dealing with criminal defendants. Their genious legal counsel will destroy their own damn school and the MS taxpayer will be footing the bill.

I really really don't want to know what will show up in Bjorks phone records. And then, after him, who is next? The whole IHL?

Ole Miss hasn't drug it out the NCAA has!!!

Balustrol said...

http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/20186821/houston-nutt-attorney-claims-ole-miss-delaying-release-hugh-freeze-phone-records

Anonymous said...

"...do you tell your children that when you're educating them on the difference between right and wrong?"

Yes, I tell my kids that everyone else pays their employees, and amateurism is not a moral imperative.

Anonymous said...

How remarkably on-brand are these comments from State fans? Not your team. Not your battle. Yet somehow, you want it to be.

Anonymous said...

Did y'all actually read these allegations?
I'm frankly shocked that these actions are illegal. It seems more like charity to me. It's not like they bought students, cars, gave their parents a house, paid for hunting camp membership and bought a wardrobe at Brooks Brothers. They gave use of their property to kids whose families couldn't afford to come to the games, invited kids to come to their property as guests, loaned a car to a kid whose car was in the shop and bought school paraphernalia?
If, since I'm not an alum, I knew a student and invited his family to stay with me, provided transportation if the kid's car broke down, bought him a tee shirt for his school, and let them swim in my pool, would the NCAA come after me?
My alma mater provides most of these amenities to all student athletes and their families on campus. They raise a lot more alum money.
My impression of the NCAA of late is they are just the bad dads in kids sports with more money and power ruining sports for the kids. They should look more to safety, graduation rates, and more consistency in rulings on the field from their refs.

Anonymous said...

You have no clue what goes on with college recruiting. I've been through it years ago & know they ALL throw cash around! Those of you who think you know how it's done just look stupid. Leo got a better offer at MSU & a way was found to cover it up.

SEC football is a complex business with more money than any of you can imagine. I'm an MSU fan & I know this to be true. We are right up in the middle of it. You have to be to compete, but you've also got to be good at finding ways to cover it up.

State got caught years ago & rebuilt. OM got caught during the Brewer years & came back. They'll come back again. Sadly, our day is coming again, so be careful gloating fans. When that day comes, we will take our punishment & come back again. It's just big business football, like it or not.

Anonymous said...

7:13 am

Where does kind heartedness end and bribery begin?

These people who broke the rules knew they were breaking the rules. If they did not know these actions would have been used in ads for their businesses to show compassion and Christian virtues.

You are too naive to be here.

Anonymous said...

INCREDIBLE!!!!! this is all they could come up with after 5 years? I sure hope they are keeping the truckload more sordid things out the public view for now just in case the idiots contest NCAA findings. after having some of the worst of these bears in my family and my business for decades now, it is hard to believe that this is all they care to put out there.

if that is really the case then ole miss would be fools not to say "yes ma'm, we're guilty of those thing and those people including the gardener (whatever) are hereby dissociated for as long as you say and we accept what additional forfeitures and penalties you deem fitting."

the kind of reckless behavior ole miss engaged in only comes about when somebody believes they are totally bulletproof. the bears are much better off taking whatever penalties the NCAA gives w/o a whimper and giving thaks for it....

Anonymous said...

Why is Alabama above the NCAA.laws?

Anonymous said...

What needs to be investigated is the bogus test/class scores/grades being submitted by junior-community colleges to allow student athletes to even play. Anybody seen the Netflix series "Last Chance U"? It's about Scuba, MS and East Mississippi Community College. To believe that all of those students are able to pass their classes is beyond reason. The same goes for ALL of the JUCOs....especially the one that is associated with Old Miss in Senatobia. Fact - fraudulent test scores submitted (taken by other students) so they can play football, and get through to the next level. Believe it, because it's happening.

Anonymous said...

"I don't expect Ole Miss to be brought down (MSU dream); I expect them, for once in their delusional lives to say, "Yup, we're guilty" and move the hell on to play another game."

I think you're about a year and a half too late for that!

The 'everybody does it' crowd is playing tag-team and working overtime on this thread! Everybody speeds too. Tell it to the judge who's holding your ticket in one hand and his gavel in the other.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yes, Mr. Cautionary Tale checks in @ 8:16 AM. LMAO

Anonymous said...

Why is Alabama above the NCAA laws?

They generate revenue for the machine and have a brand that translates nationwide. I don't care for them personally but our two state schools do not have that going for them. Follow the money, the networks control the NCAA and the messaging that you receive.

Anonymous said...

These boosters and Freeze are all cut from the same cloth. It is a typical personally type that is common across the state, and is specifically strong in memebers of one particular mega-church in Flowood. This hubris is the "Look How Christian I Am!" Sickness that is see everywhere these days. Sure, they take a "mission" er, vacation to South America to "help" the people there, but ONLY if they sit through their program on "Christ". These overly-proud people are some of the most hateful, racist, and snotty people around and it appears to be the type of person Freeze and his family truly are. These boosters are much the same. Great job damaging your school and communities! They all want to be big show-offs. How's that working out for you?

Let me be clear, these type of people are all over Mississippi and on every campus. It's just that this episode just happens to be spotlighting Ole Miss at this particular time.

Anonymous said...

It would be very helpful if "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by the Band could be played in the background while we read these comments....

Anonymous said...

I would like to see the COI committee call in Mr. Patel and ask him if he knows any other Hotel Owners named Patel. I believe I can see a wide spread conspiracy forming here.

Anonymous said...

Ole miss is guilty for sure, but these things can be found at every college! Why is the NCAA just camped at ole miss?

Anonymous said...

They are camped at Old Miss because of their arrogance.

Anonymous said...

First it was "where's the proof??"...Now that that argument has reached its shelf life we're seeing more "everybody does it!!". However, that argument is getting stale in light of the com link with hookers. It has become apparent that UM is an enabler far and beyond the scope of what we previously knew as simply a dirty football program.

Anonymous said...

Poor, poor rebels. Headed toward another massacre at the hands of damn yankees. And, once again, the mortal wounds are self-inflicted.

NOOOooo Baaady.. said...

I'll bet you my mother's next four social security checks that nobody named Patel ever attended a class at Old Myth.

The booster behind this one obviously thought, "Well, we need to get momma 'nem a room for a week, off and on, but not too nice a room since they ain't never stayed in a motor-hotel afore, anyway."

So, said booster pulls up and parks under the 'Best Inns And Suites Under Construction' sign (it's always there in every town) and moseys up to the desk, chompin' on a see-gar and fingering a wad of bills in his pocket. No way to track a cash transaction like that but the IRS might be interested anyway. How simple is this?

SWATDOC said...

Anytime O gets ore than an occasional 5 star you can bet it is with
$$$$

Anonymous said...

"I'll bet you my mother's next four social security checks that nobody named Patel ever attended a class at Old Myth. "

Uh, apparently you're not aware UMMC is part of "Old Myth". I'll take that bet - there have been numerous med students named Patel, now proud graduates of the University of Mississippi system.

From The Kitchen.. said...

Stick a fork in Freeze - He's done. Time to flip Bjork over and put about three more minutes of heat on him for just the right char. Then he's done. Bring the fork. Then the interim chancellor before Vitter arrived on campus.

Anonymous said...


"Uh, apparently you're not aware UMMC is part of "Old Myth". I'll take that bet - there have been numerous med students named Patel, now proud graduates of the University of Mississippi system."

And they went on to open branches of the chain of Patel Best Value Roach Motels? Boy, I bet their sponsors never saw that coming. We're not talking one or two Patels who may (but probably didn't) have become doctors. I believe we're looking at free room and board for family members on game weekends.

Kingfish said...

It appears someone doesn't get to Jackson much.

Anonymous said...

July 29, 2017 @ 10:51

Wow, what insight you have. I'm not going to get in a argument with you over which school(s) is or are good/bad in Mississippi, I could care less....

But, your opinion of Pinelake, yes I'll call the mega-church by name, seems a bit harsh and dare I say, bitter. I attend Pinelake and have for over 10 years. The people I have met and interact with don't seem a bit like those you describe. I'm not in a financial position to take those "vacations" south of the border or anywhere else overseas but, if I could, I likely would!

I guess GOD has pity on folks like me and doesn't bless them with large amounts of cash to fund such personal "vacations" or even football recruits like others do. I'll settle for the treasure I have waiting for in the hereafter.

In between that time and now, I'll say an extra little prayer for you and expect a miracle.....

Anonymous said...

I think it goes without saying that his blog site is overwhelmngly conservative.

This blog also shows beyond the shadow of doubt, how mean, vile, vicious and plain hateful these conservatives can be when posting anonymously. What brings out the continual hate and pettiness in so many posters? Are they this way in the light of day, or when they are able to kick their dog in obscurity?

Anonymous said...

Ole Miss is guilty of far more than what is in the NOA,, but what you can absolutely prove vs what you absolutely know to be true such as L Tunsil's recruitment was filthy dirty at every step by Ole Miss, there is no doubt about it, but how much can you prove with zero subpoena power is difficult.

The Rebels & Rev Freeze deserve everything that is coming there way as they are guilty of far more than what is listed in both NOA's

Anonymous said...

All the well-financed programs in the NCAA have a certain level of expectations that the NCAA recognizes. Cheat and stay within that stratum and you are likely
safe. Cheat and rise above your appointed station and you better cover your ass.

It's impossible to cover everything, so you had better be damn, damn, careful when you decide to go from mid-level to big-time. Ole Miss made the arrogant mistake of thinking it was already big-time. This is the wake-up call. The NCAA can call you whenever it wants, because recruiting violations are like holding penalties. It can be called on every play. Just don't flaunt it. Ole Miss can cheat it's way to the top...only gradually.

Ghost Of Blind Jim said...

3:40...How can you possibly see conservative vs liberal in this whole Ole Miss saga?

But, I have two more important questions:

1) What is Ole Miss waiting on to 'release' more names?

2) Why does this limited list not already include the name of Mr. Taco? I was blind-sided to learn they are still protecting him. Some say nobody is a larger booster than he. NOOoooo Badddy.

Anonymous said...

I think it goes without saying that his blog site is overwhelmngly [sic] conservative.

This blog also shows beyond the shadow of doubt, how mean, vile, vicious and plain hateful these conservatives can be when posting anonymously. What brings out the continual hate and pettiness in so many posters? Are they this way in the light of day, or when they are able to kick their dog in obscurity?


Damn, did that feel good? Tell me, is your preference to snort your sanctimony or do you mainline it?

Anonymous said...

7:29.....3:40 here. This Freeze story is not in a vacuum. There are hundreds of other posts proving my point. Most of the posts on any subject by this consciencless and vapid owner are intended and successful in bringing out the worst and meanness in so many of the posters. That is why he does this. Clicks clicks and clicks, and to hell with the actual people ridiculed along the way.

Vapid Vile Vic said...

July 31, 2017 at 7:53 AM = LOYAL JJ Reader!

Anonymous said...

3:40; You must be in a vacuum. I think you intended to address 7:46 rather than 7:29 who made no reference to you or your post.

PS: This isn't about meanness or ridicule. This is about real serious, big-time shit in the land of football where people make business decisions on your character, your allegiance and your level of dishonesty.

Anonymous said...

12:11. Read the first line in 7:29's post. Keep up. I was addressing that portion of the comment.

Anonymous said...

Serious question:

At what point and at whose direction is/are boosters 'disassociated' from a university or its football program? Is that something the school decides to do as a condition of the end results of an investigation? Or does the NCAA require that a school disassociate a booster? And, when does it occur and, I guess, for how long?

PS: This is not a political question, has nothing to do with MSU and is not connected in any way with Jimmy Swaggart.

Anonymous said...

KINGFISH AT 2:00 QUIT POSTING TO YOURSELF TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

Disassociation Questions.. said...

I posted at 2:00 and damned sure am not Kingfish. Answer the questions. They're probably the only serious questions posed today. I'm sorry the multi-syllable word, disassociation, confuses you.

Kingfish said...

I would love to know how I was posting while I was driving through the waterworks curve.

Anonymous said...

6:16. Because it is a well-known fact that you do exactly that in there or hidden pictures to prove it would you like to have them posted

Anonymous said...

What the hell did 9:22 just say?

Anonymous said...

@7:41, I think it was an attempt at a threat to leak photographs of Kingfish posting to his blog while navigating the treacherous waterworks curve. But it is hard to make that assumption with the lack of punctuation. It could also be someone attempting to encourage Kingfish to release his own photographic evidence of him not posting comments to his blog while navigating the treacherous waterworks curve. Just spent way too much of my time thinking about it . . . I was hoodwinked!

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.