Thursday, March 5, 2015

Sad but true.

Will Richie Schwartz advertise for victims? That is the question.


Anonymous said...

Guns don't kill people. Water kills people.

Anonymous said...

Anti-Vaxxer logic right there.

Anonymous said...

I've heard that most boating accidents occur around water too.

Anonymous said...

I think the legislature should hold hearings to further investigate water. Maybe they could appoint a special task force to hold hearings around the state....a listening session if you will. I think they should cut funding for water since no one can seem to show that it does any good for us. I assume this poster was compiled by Jerry Mitchell. I hope he will continue to root out all of the evil about water.

Anonymous said...

Fish mate in water. Vile liquid....

Anonymous said...

The Tea Party will jump on this.

Anonymous said...

Some moron will claim that the Tea Party will jump on this. Racist, homophobic, waterist.....

Anonymous said...

Children die in auto accidents too. So go sell that big ole SUV you cart them around in and let them walk to school.

Anonymous said...

2:48 -- not so fast. What do they use to brew their tea?

Kingfish said...

Slave ships were carried across water. FACT!!!

Nazis sent U-boats through water to attack Allies and protect the Holocaust. FACT!!!

Reagan drank water. FACT!!!

Chrissy McD, down in the bunker said...

I have been trying to wake you clowns up about the dangers on dihydromonoxide for years!!!

When will you listen?

Bream Fisherman said...

Listen up you Goobs! Burwell owns the damned water! Stay the hell off of it! When he whips you ass, you'll be needing Richie Schwartz........

Anonymous said...

I hear Feelip Gunn and the House has a plan to completely eliminate water by 2018. They'll get my vote.

Anonymous said...

"Mandrake... Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?"

Anonymous said...

This just in- Rudy landed an 11 million dollar contract to study the effects of water on the taxpayers of Madison County!

Anonymous said...

Press Release - Tater Reeves - Leftenant Gov.
Cheeseburgers are not made with water.

Watered Down Report said...

Water runs south.

Mary runs Madison.

Kennuff suffers from water-weight buildup.

The girl the city hired to manage that department is in deep water - way over her head. A sheepskin does not competence guarantee.

Anonymous said...

Timely and funny, KF.

Unfortunately, along with the measles idiocy, the Tea Party folks are taking on fluoride in the water again.

This time the fear is growing because some woman has decided it causes fibromyalgia! ( Whether she works for a water filter company claiming to have a filter that removes fluoride is unknown).

She's posted this claim based on getting such a water filter and feeling better rather than reading anything about how this disease existed in those areas without fluoride prior to it being added. Nor does she know that a lack of fluoride results in increased cases of oto-sclerosis in adults. The introduction of fluoride nearly erased this kind of hearing loss in the U.S.

So, as funny as your water dangers are ,KF, sadly, one or more may well end up as taken as true. I hope you aren't credited as a source of authority.

Anonymous said...

Lawsuit highlights why concussions are a growing concern for water polo

Feb. 7, 2015

Updated 6:18 p.m.
The suit also alleges that while USA Water Polo’s medical staff has acknowledged the dangers of concussions in the sport the governing body has not taken the proper steps to educate its members on how to recognize concussions or properly treat them. The suit claims USA Water Polo has failed to adopt concussion related procedures widely supported and adopted globally.

Anonymous said...

Beer is made with water so it can't be that bad. It's the healthy form of water.

Anonymous said...

12:03 It's the anti-bacterial powers of alcohol that make the beer safe to drink.

Anonymous said...

Football helmets for water polo?!?

Who'd a thunk it?

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS