Monday, February 9, 2015

Police reports show how sick the Porter case really is.

WARNING: MATERIAL IN THIS POST THAT IS GRAPHIC AND SEXUAL IN NATURE. IN FACT, ITS DOWNRIGHT SICKENING.

The decision was made to publish this post for several reasons.  A horrible crime took place.  However, the details of these crimes are usually kept secret for obvious reasons.  Every measure was taken to redact information that might identify the child or her family.  Former WLBT News Director Dennis Smith was consulted.  He read the report and gave some very welcome advice.  It's a story that needs to be told and should be reported.  The reports are not for the squeamish, but people need to see exactly how these crimes take place.  They also need to see the lengths to which brainwashed victims will go to to protect the perps.  

Former Ridgeland High School softball coaches Blair and Michael Porter pleaded guilty to one count each of sexual battery of a child.  The child was a student they had known since she was in eighth grade and was a 15 year-old member of the team when the crime took place.  The Porters are husband and wife.

Posted below is the raw police report for the investigation.  There is no way to sugarcoat it. The material is disgusting and sickening in nature.  It shows how two coaches exploited a young girl.   They both performed sexual acts with her.  They took a young girl and ruined her life.  Law enforcement sources said the victim was very uncooperative.  The word "love" was used several times.  They even tried to blame her when caught.  What stopped them was a parent who dared to be a parent and not take her child's word as gospel truth.  The parents demanded answers and would not stop seeking justice until it was served.



These documents contain sexual and graphic content.  

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

After reading these documents, I can see why the parents asked for 5 years instead of 7. Still, it's a sad story all the way around.

Anonymous said...

This hardly ruined the child's life.

Anonymous said...

Say whatever you'd like; post as many disclaimers as you want, but there's no reason for these documents to be published on this website.

None.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there was a crime here. The lives of these educators have been ruined but not the little horn dog that wanted to play house. No rape occurred. Sex between sexually mature adults happened. It is silly and ridiculous that the teachers were arrested much less got jail time. There were no innocent children involved.

Now I don't believe for a hot second that they were only involved in two brief "encounters". It was probably a torrid ongoing sex triangle. Just another Friday night in Madison County. I wonder if they had a pineapple flag outside their house?

Anonymous said...

I'm glad it was posted. I thought it was much worse. Bad enough for the sentencing to be a few years but the sentence was just.

Anonymous said...

3:00pm
Disagree. Every parent needs to read this. This is just awful.

Anonymous said...

The predators and deviants have always been there. But today's tech and social media have made it so much easier for these people to groom their victims and carry on communications with them outside of plain sight. When you give your child unfettered use of a smart phone you give the predators and deviants the same unfettered access to your child.

Anonymous said...

Didnt the principal get terminated behind this incident?

Anonymous said...

...but there's no reason for these documents to be published on this website.

Go complain to DonnerKay.

And, as always, thanks for being a loyal JJ reader!

Anonymous said...

3:00 - I guess it's too bad you're not in charge here. So complain as much as you want, but it won't make any difference.

None.

Anonymous said...

What happened to this child is unthinkable and should never have happened. I certainly hope, though, that this girl (or her family) never thinks in terms that the incident defines her or "ruined" her life. If she lets this incident "ruin" her life, she is giving these sick individuals one more second of her life they don't deserve.

Anonymous said...

"Hardly ruined the child's life" and "No reason for these documents to be published" obviously have never been a victim of child molestation. I have. I say more people need to see the real documents. Maybe it would wake up some parents. The impact of molestation on a child is life long. You learn to live with it but you NEVER get over it. Thanks for having the courage to post these documents on your blog.

Anonymous said...

Divorce attorneys are having a field day with iCloud. Turn it off people before what you have stupidly auto-stored there bites you in the ass.

Anonymous said...

"Just another Friday night in Madison County. I wonder if they had a pineapple flag outside their house?"

I suppose you missed the part about the Porters residing in Brandon.

Anonymous said...

The crime here is that the Coaches were in what the law calls a "position of authority over a vulnerable person (under age minor). That makes it a felony to do what they did. Bottom line is that they should have known better. I agree with the earlier poster that says all parents should read this. Also, bear in mind that it can, and has, happen to boys as well as girls.

Kingfish said...

I guess the fact that the wife started working on her when she was her student in junior high flew over some heads. Its called grooming for a reason.

Anonymous said...

People like 3:21 pm above scare the shit out of me.

Anonymous said...

For anyone who doesn't believe that the slippery slope we have started down will eventually reach out to acceptance of child sex, polyamory, bestiality, and other perversions, read the comments above. There are at least a couple of JFP types who are here defending this behavior.

It's the same old song in not so many words: "What's wrong with it? They were consenting. Why is it your business what other people do? No crime was committed here. It's just your outdated prudishness derived from a book of bronze age myths."

Traditional morality is sneered at by the "enlightened", who worship at the twin altars of tolerance and science to justify any behavior they deem acceptable. Statutory rape isn't so bad if those encouraging sex are young and one is an attractive female, and the target is on the cusp of adulthood, right? In fact, those teenage boys who engage in sex with a 25-year-old teacher are really lucky! It's not so bad! Quit judging, and remember the Bible tells you not to judge anyone (it doesn't say that, but that's for another day).

People, this is becoming all too common. This is the outworking of tolerance as defined by the modern amoral left. We are leaving behind a junkyard of twisted, broken children who are abused by people like Eric Law and these two, and who are effectively cheered on by the hip, artsy crowd, eager to show how enlightened they are, no matter whom it destroys.

Anonymous said...

LOL someone made reference to my comment about this hardly ruining the child's life. I say that because it hasn't and it won't. This was the end result that she wanted and she got it. The minor needs mental help obviously because she was so mentally unstable. Which actually for someone that knew the family was quite shocking to find out via the police report. Now I'm not defending the Porters, but both parties were guilt of wrongdoing.

Anonymous said...

From all the statements taken it looks as if they tried for a year to keep this girl away and finally gave in to appease the girl. They were screwed no matter what they did. In cases like this I think all 3 should do some time. Jail for the adults and juvenile detention for little miss persistence. Maybe if there were some consequences for these kids acting a fool they wouldn't be so quick to play games with other people's lives. I understand that the adults had the ultimate responsibility. But to call this girl "innocent" is a crock of @#$%. She practically blackmailed them into this crap. You can cry "she's a minor and the victim" all you want. She knew what the hell she was doing.

And what's up with these parents? File a complaint about contact with the coaches and then ask the same coaches out for socializing? If this inappropriate contact had been such a major issue why was she still even on the team? Is softball that important to these parents? Or did they just give in to what she wanted too? I think the whole lot of them need some psychiatric help.

Anonymous said...

... finally gave in to appease the girl.

Check yourself into Whitfield because you are certifiably nutso.

Kingfish said...

Ok, a pair of adults were named in one report. They were cleared by the police. Period. Their names were redacted and sorry for any confusion on their status. They've done nothing wrong and deserve to be cleared. No comments about them will be approved so don't even try.

Anonymous said...

5:09, these people were sentenced to years in prison. I hardly call that acceptance.

Your genocidal black book has infected your thinking.

Johnny Weir said...

I put a pineapple out on my porch in Madison and the only thing that happened was a dog pissed on it. It's a rotten mess now. What gives?

Anonymous said...

Congrats Kingfish. 5:09 is obviously Mike Huckabee. You've got a major celebrity grifter reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

I don't know where this kid goes to school now. But teachers. STAY THE HELL AWAY!!!! If I was a teacher there's no way on earth I'd even have this kid stand within 20 feet of me.

Anonymous said...

Please, some one help me figure out how to download the transcript's. Not stupid, just a little older and less tech savvy, thank you.

Anonymous said...

5:09 is insightful.

Anonymous said...

To each of you who somehow blame the child victim for the heinous crimes perpetrated upon her, after years of grooming her to become a participant in acts for which she is legally incompetent to give consent, thank goodness the family did not put the child through the horror of giving testimony in open court only to have one of you blubbering, accusatory idiots let the sick softball coaches off with a not guilty verdict. Let me spell it out for you, the victim child cannot give consent to participate in these illegal acts by statutory law. There's a reason why children are deemed to be minors, wards of the state until they are mature enough to fully comprehend the consequences of their acts. Quit judging her defensible actions and let her get on with her life before one of you imbecilic finger-pointers want to stitch a red letter "A" to her letter sweater. Idiots!!

Kingfish said...

You know what the problem here is? Smartphones. When we were all teens, the only way a wayward teacher could reach us was to call our home phones- where the parent was likely to answer.

Now the teacher and student can call and text each other. They can send pictures and all sorts of other groovy things via cellphone.

There is no damn reason for a 14 or 15 year old to have a smartphone. Period. Parents need to know where child is, need to contact a child, fine, a bar phone or strictly cellphone works fine.

There is on reason for them to have smartphones with cameras, and all sorts of technology that is unsupervised.

We don't let 10 year olds play with guns. Yes, there are some mature 12 year olds who can handle handguns but there is a reason there is a law for it. Giving a 12 year old a smartphone is like giving an 8 year old a loaded gun, they aren't mature enough to handle it and when they do something stupid, it will haunt them for a long time.

The parents give these kids these weapons of technological destruction and then are surprised when the same kids who will drive 80 mph down a regular street manage to blow themselves up with the same phone.

Anonymous said...

"Now the teacher and student can call and text each other. They can send pictures and all sorts of other groovy things via cellphone. "

This is a firing offense at my kids' school. Emails through their school account is okay (homework, assignments, etc) but phone, Facebook, etc contacts are forbidden.

Role Playing said...

It's not really all that odd that a female softball coach and player wind up getting involved with each other. It happens much more often than some of you can imagine. What's odd is that the coach had a husband and that he agreed to help her play out her fantasy.

Anonymous said...

I'm extremely glad that this information was posted. The public has the right to know what happened. My question is this... As a parent, if you were suspicious about this couple, why would you continue to allow your child to be around them and still be on the team. And after you knew for sure that they had molested your child, why would you ask that the sentence be reduced? Sounds fishyyyyyy!

Anonymous said...

"And after you knew for sure that they had molested your child, why would you ask that the sentence be reduced? "

I agree this is very strange.

Anonymous said...

The reason these documents should never be posted is simple:
when balancing the need for the public to know what happened (even including warning parents of potential problems) vs. the need for privacy of a victim, the need for privacy should always prevail.

Kingfish did not receive permission from the victim or the victim's family to post these details. The family made the decision to NOT go to trial so their daughter would not have to relive all of this, yet having the documents posted online does just that. We can pretend that people don't know who she is because she has not been named, but that's ridiculous. People know. And now they know much more than what was said during the plea.

Parents who need this much information in order to be better parents are likely currently parenting with their heads in the sand.

This is sensationalism at its worst. Posting the dangers of these situations is one thing, but doing this without the consent of the family of the victim is just irresponsible.

Kingfish said...

I went to Dennis Smith and other former reporters for their opinion and they read the report. Their opinion was unanimous. I followed every precaution possible.

If you people think this is easy, it's not. When you first read this report it makes you angry, disgusted, and sick. Then you have to read it a few times so you can actually redact it and write about it. That means going through a few states.

Anonymous said...

6:15 am Denial and guilt that they failed to protect their child and hoping to protect their child from the further trauma of having to be cross examined are a few of the reasons.

Part of grooming is to win the parents trust. That is done often by making friends with the parents.

The parents don't want to believe their judgment in people is so flawed. That calls into question their judgment about ALL people.

Pedophiles understand this and groom the parents as well.

Pedophiles pick jobs whenever possible that gives them access to children. They are often teachers, ministers/priests, scout leaders, coaches and those who teach outside activities.

Pedophiles don't look different. They are often charming and married.

Anytime an adult takes an unusual interest in your child , seeks to have alone time with your child, and especially invites the child to their home , a parent should be suspicious.


Pedophiles seek vulnerable children. So if your child is unhappy and has low self-esteem, if you are a single parent, if your spouse is rigid and especially hard on your child, if there is conflict at home that makes you child feel less safe and wishing for an escape, you are in the kind of situation a pedophile seeks.

And, unfortunately, some of the children they seek have already been " eroticized". By that , I mean some other adult in their family circle has already been grooming the child or has molested the child.

Sadly, most of the molestation of children is not done by strangers but someone in a position of trust.

There are books that can help parents. Understanding and Protecting Your Child from Molesters is one written by the Jensens. But, there are several out there.

At any rate, the coach's testimony is very typical. Pedophiles often describe their child victims ( even as young at 18 months old) as being the aggressors and seductive.

That any of you are so naïve as to give weight to the pedophile's testimony and fail to understand that the objective of the pedophile is to have their victims " love" them and feel the relationship is " special" astounds me!

That any of you don't understand the trauma that is attached to being a victim of molestation just tells me you don't want to know or understand. And, I have to question why that would be so.

5 years is not enough. We will hear from the Porters again. I understand not wanting to put the victim through more trauma. That decision is often made. But, I don't like it. Our laws to protect our children should be tougher and our law enforcement and judicial systems need to be better informed and prepared.

The parents shouldn't have had to be doing the police work on this case!

And, I do wonder why Children's Protective Services wasn't brought in immediately. Is it that ineffectual here so that the police don't turn to them in these cases?









Anonymous said...

Kingfish did not receive permission from the victim or the victim's family to post these details.

He doesn't need permission. PERIOD.

Anonymous said...

That any of you don't understand the trauma that is attached to being a victim of molestation just tells me you don't want to know or understand.

LMAO. Your need to lecture JJ readers over and over again tells me that you are a whacked out egomaniac.

Anonymous said...

According to "traditional morality," a rapist gets to marry his victim if she's unmarried. It's in Deuteronomy.

Anonymous said...

Should you be looking for clean antiseptic journalism 9:05 then you are probably in the wrong place by seeking it here.

How completely absurd that you condemn parents who many have "their heads in the sand" and simultaneously belittle them for potentially benefiting from the level of detail as presented in this story.

Should Kingfish's reporting help just one set of parents, or one parent, recognize a pattern of conduct that helps alert them to a situation with their own child then the editorial decision he made after great consideration will be worth it.

Anonymous said...

Basically every student in that school and most everyone in the community know exactly who that minor is. The Initials in the video were also a dead giveaway if you weren't really sure. Along with her birthday. In my opinion she should be in some kind of serious counciling and no longer in any local school. Unless she moves to a completely different part of the state, she'll be surrounded by people who will have read every little detail about what went on. She'll be pointed out and gossiped about until she's gone to college. Kids these days aren't as sympathetic as some of you who say she's completel inncocent and will make her life miserable because of this.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes the need for privacy and an appropriate environment for recovery for the victim takes priority over the public's need to know.

On one level, I appreciated the police report in that it satisfied much of our curiosity and answered a lot of questions about what took place. Still, I felt guilty reading it because it was somewhat of a re-victimization of this young girl. I say that because I think it's true that everyone in that community knows who the victim was. Just saying she was a member of the girls softball team narrowed the choices to 15 or so individuals. Since this was first reported, enough info has been released to where even someone living in China could figure out who the victim was with just a couple of google searches.

This kids life was totally disrupted during a time when innocence and the adventure of becoming a young adult should have been the focus. That was taken away from her. She had to quit participating with her team in a sport she loved. She has to attend another school. No doubt friendships were lost and/or forever affected. She will always carry the reputation of being the 15 year old who had sex with both her coaches. For the rest of her high school experience she will have to contend with guys (and girls) who will want to date or befriend her because of her reputation, not because they like her for the person she is. No, this kid was definitely victimized....divulging the blow by blow details of the sexual activities she engaged in with the Porters is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

10:04 am

I was responding to 6:15 am 's concerns about the parents.

I try to assume that those making outrageously inaccurate comments are ignorant on the subject matter.

It's interesting that you feel so threatened by facts.










Anonymous said...

To 2/9/15 @ 2:45 pm "This hardly ruined a child's life" and to 2/9/15 @ 3:00 pm "I don't think there was a crime here. The lives of these educators have been ruined but not the little horn dog that wanted to play house. No rape occurred. Sex between sexually mature adults happened. It is silly and ridiculous that the teachers were arrested much less got jail time. There were no innocent children involved."

Y'all obviously have no children of your own, are a pedophile yourself or you have no concept of the terms, Minor Child v. Consenting Adult. A 15 year old, who was brainwashed by her husband/wife softball coaches to believe that they loved her and would never hurt her, and then who was molested by these same predators and made to believe that participating in sex acts with each of them was acceptable, is still a Minor Child who cannot consent, cannot make decisions for herself, cannot drive a car by herself, cannot enter into a contract, cannot legally smoke cigarettes or consume alcohol, and cannot vote. She is hardly an adult, much less a consenting one. Sounds like y'all need to grow up and smell the coffee that innocence was lost here at the hands of those to whom she had given her trust, albeit foolishly. Foolish as a child that is...

Anonymous said...

14 year girl old throws herself at her 16 year old boyfriend, has sex, and its ignored and called kids being kids. That same 14 year old with anyone over 18 and she's suddendly an innocent angel and the adult is the devil and a brainwashing pedophile. It's the same result people. The hypocrisy is thick. The Porters are stupid and they should be in jail. But to call this girl innocent in all this is just ignorance. I'll bet 60% of her classmates in her own grade are also having sex. Are they all innocent brainwashed angels or all kids being kids? How can you with a straight face pick and choose when a kid is brainwashed victim of systematic deviants and not just being a typical horny teenager?

Anonymous said...

Sex is a very odd thing in this society. People talking about accepting child sex should study the history of laws in Mississippi. The age of consent has only recently been upped to 16 from 14.

The punishments for these crimes are far too severe. Even kids are finding themselves charged with sex crimes, of which all participants were willing. Puritanism is strong in these.

Anonymous said...

4:16 pm Your inability to engage in analytical thinking is showing.

A 16 year old boy is not in a position of authority than a teacher is in.

An adult should have control over their hormones!

Have you never heard the term " in loco parentis"?

And, that you know so little about human sexuality, psychology or child development is obvious.

You don't know this girl or the biological reasons she could be more vulnerable than other girls her age.

That you choose to opine in such ignorance causes me to hope you have no children now or in the future!

Anonymous said...

5:50 pm Those who investigate child neglect and abuse don't agree with " upping the age" to 16.

You fail to understand how difficult it is to prosecute these cases if they go to trial.

The victim's history and behavior is put on trial and children and teens make very bad witnesses. Any lawyer worth a damn can brutalize them in cross.

As a result, the evidence has to be very strong for a DA to be willing to prosecute . And, KFs report indicated that it is also difficult to get the police to investigate. The mother of the victim did their work for them!

Child abuse and molestation has nothing to do with the Puritanical cultural influences and everything to do with children being seen as their parents' property. Indeed, the first child was protected under our animal abuse laws as animals were seen as more valuable than our children!

Every time anyone opines that the girl enticed this or brought in on themselves, I'm stunned. Adult males should be insulted by anyone who suggests they have no control so little control over their bodies.

Here's a news flash for those kinda folks, sex starts between the ears, not between the legs!

That myth has been perpetrated by males who needed to justify their bad behavior.

There are women who throw themselves at men and men who are dumb enough to succumb, but we aren't discussing an adult woman. And, women who have made overtures to men and who have a shady sexual history don't succeed in prosecutions!

Please, y'all read some books on human sexuality so we can end these myths!

Anonymous said...

Holy Mary, Mother of God. You dreadful people that spout out that the girl deserves this are sick! Absolutely, vile and sick. Where on earth did you learn that a girl deserves this just because she is a girl and some horrid or pair of horrid adults entice her, brainwash her, take advantage of her vulnerable nature and therefore she is guilty.

May God have mercy on your souls, because I think your are dispicable and vile.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't mentioned in any of the comments that they changed their numbers to keep out of contact with this child, outside of softball, YET she "snuck" and texted herself from their phones to retrieve their numbers. I'd say this is a very sad situation, and there's way more to it. Take my word!

Anonymous said...

I listened to your discussion of the Porter case yesterday. You say it was disgusting, then you call it a "threesome". Let make it clear this was a gang rape and nothing else! This minor girl was groomed and brought slowly in to this strategically to make her feel as an equal participant. This is a key component of a serial pedophiles grooming technique to make the child silent and equally guilty. It's obvious, in the transcript or police report, they (the rapists) were trying to convince the authorities that the minor had a 'special power' over them.

Then you go on with this BS about what's going to happen to these two criminals after they get out of jail and how easy it's going to be for the female to attract men. Well, maybe some the freaks that post here about how this wasn't a crime at all might, I guess.

Anonymous said...

All of this seems suspicious. First of all, the child's mother seem to be covering up something. I wonder what the Porter's have on her, you will agree to drop their sentence to 5 yrs. Your child was molested woman. I would not be dropping charges, I still be kicking their asses today. They should never walk this earth again. Second, why did the principal lose her job, she don't teach in the Summer time, which it was going on with the mother acknowledge. The principal should sue the school, school board and everyone involved in her losing her job. My heart goes out to this child. Everything the Porter's said sound like a lie. They should get life in jail. The Porter's must be white, surely if they was black, they would have gotten the maxium and more. Racism still alive in America, especially in Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

Personally knowing the student involved, I think it is very wrong of each of you to decide who the blame is on. I don't think you have ever been in her situation or her parents situation to determine anything. For you to call her names, say terrible things about her, makes you all idiotic. I really hope each of you come to a piece of mind and know that you obviously aren't involved to know full complete details. In this, the very sick Porters made it seem like it was all the childs fault. If they were very concerned for her, they would have talked to someone. Why don't you all act like mature adults that you claim to be and stop trying to tear down a teenage girl who was involved in a scandal. Go do your job and stop worrying about this.



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.