Thursday, January 15, 2015

Mississippi wins sluttiest state award.

Online magazine compiled a list of the "sluttiest" states in America.  The list is based on CDC statistics on syphilis, chlamydia,  and gonorrhea.  Mississippi led the way and it wasn't even close.  The CDC reports Mississippi had 1009 cases per 100,000 residents of these STD's.  Ugh.

Mississippi reported rates of  774 cases of chlamydia, 230 cases of gonorrhea, and 5 cases of syphilis per 100,000 residents. Misssissippi led in chlamydia and gonorrhea rates BUT dropped to ninth in rates of syphilis. map and rankings.
CDC maps and rates per disease.

Kingfish note: Mandatory's map is a little bit sexist.  Apparently the magazine forgot men can carry and pass along STD's as well.


Anonymous said...

The link might be wrong.
All I saw was a map of Reunion with a big pineapple in the middle.

Anonymous said...

What would actually be useful would be a county-by-county map of STD rates. I'm sure the DOH keeps those stats and could generate such a map.

An ambitious person could then overlay it with maps of income, education levels, incarceration rates, etc.

Anonymous said...

10:33 -- WAY too much work. I think we all, already know the answer to the "overlay".

Anonymous said...

And we are first by a HUGE margin.

Anonymous said...

Jones County I believe leads the nation. Something to do with Tea Bagging or Tea Party or something like that. Supposedly it is rampant down there.

Who killed the mayor? said...

So we're the sluttiest and the fattest? That's a great combo.

Anonymous said...

You forgot about a educational system and test score rankings. We are not full of just fat sluts.

Anonymous said...

Slutty... Hospitality... goes hand in hand right?

Anonymous said...

No doubt that common core is part of the problem.

Anonymous said...

"Fat, slutty and stupid is no way to go thru life son"

Anonymous said...

How can this be? We have been teaching abstinence only in our schools for years.

noel said...

I'd like to thanks all the ladies that I've, oh wait. This is not that kind of award?

MS Born & Raised said...

Hmmm... I've got a lot of county-level data on MS, but not STD levels. Checked Vital Records as published by MDOH and not surprisingly that is NOT something they publish. I do, however, have a rather interesting map I ran across recently that shows Percent of Female Householders (single mothers) by census tract in each county. Anyone interested in seeing that?

Anonymous said...

Pleasures of the flesh...eating and having sex. Such a primal state we are.

Anonymous said...

6 out of top 10 are SEC schools. interesting combination

Anonymous said...

MS is also first of gay porn searches.

So we have the most repressed homosexuals in the country.

The fattest people in the country.

The sluttiest people in the country.

The dumbest people in the country.

If genetics means anything....this state is going nowhere...well...ever.

WTH am I doing here?

Anonymous said...


Can't of that. That'd be profiling… and racist.

Anonymous said...

12:41 nailed it.

Anonymous said...

We also drop our cell phones more than anyone else. Greasy fingers, I guess.

Anonymous said... STD rates are 6 to 8 TIMES higher for blacks than whites. The press will never point out our demographics nor mention race. It's Haley Barbour's fault. Right.

Anonymous said...

But... that can't be! But what about the fact that we teach abstinence only in our public schools (which is 100% proven to keep kids from having sex, by the way). They also must not be taking into account the fact that we spend our precious little state money appealing gay marriage rulings. There is nooooo way our legislation of morality is not working here! There is no way we aren't taking the right approach here. My Southern Baptist preacher said so.

Anonymous said...

What we have here is an opportunity to change the state motto again, "Mississippi, it burns when we pee!"

Anonymous said...

"What we have here is an opportunity to change the state motto again, "Mississippi, it burns when we pee!" "

Please don't encourage anyone to think about changing the state flag too ..... :-)

Anonymous said...

The CDC has county level data on this. When the Delta counties are excluded, Mississippi is rather average on STD rates. That, of course, is the case for nearly every survey like this.

Anonymous said...

In addition to the delta counties, if you could also exclude Kennuff Scrotes ward the numbers would look very different.

Anonymous said...

In addition to the delta counties, if you could also exclude Kennuff Scrotes ward the numbers would look very different.

Cholesterol would be lower.......

Anonymous said...

Sluttiest? And here I am watching porn all night.

Anonymous said...

@1:37, "Sluttiest" is not the same as "Most Desperate."

Anonymous said...

It Obama's fault!! Low morals and all.

Isolate Gomorrah said...

Are there any comparative footnotes to indicate a rise in activity when the Legislature is in session?

It's important to understand the social drivers behind incident spikes. Averages are meaningless. Isolate Gomorrah, then we'll talk.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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