Friday, September 2, 2022

Dan Berger: Things in Wine

Winemakers love to say their products are made of grapes and nothing else. It's largely accurate, but if you really get into the weeds, it's hardly all that's at play.

        As a "basically natural" product, wine is one of the most complicated of beverages. It's 180 degrees from the formulation that leads us to Coke, Pepsi, commercial beers and even hard cider.

        No, almost nothing is added to wine, so though the statement above may be substantially true, looking further there are an overwhelming number of "things" that winemakers must deal with in the process of making fine wine.

        Start with soils. There are huge differences between volcanic, clay, sand, slate and about 100 other kinds of soil in the world's top vineyards. Each has a series of pluses and minuses. That's where the next element comes in.

        It's rootstock. Hundreds of years ago, no one differentiated between the roots and the genetic material that produce fruit, called the scion wood. But over time, vine maladies forced many areas to choose specialized rootstocks while keeping the scion material.

        (Later on, scion wood changed too!)

        In this more enlightened wine world, choosing the right roots for a specific soil type is an essential decision calling for expertise in several sciences. It gets further complicated the more you look at it.

        Then there's the selection of the grape variety, which includes a look at variants called clones. Pinot noir, to purists, isn't just pinot noir, but which clone? There are literally hundreds of pinot clones. Some people say that 115, Martini, 666, 777, Calera and Swan are among the best.

        Yet when growers and winemakers get together, there often is an arcane debate that leads to what a friend calls a "geek alert:" clones connected to rootstocks.

        For example, do you get a better pinot from the Swan clone growing on 110R roots or from the 115 clone grown on 3309C? The answer depends on the soil type as well as the trellising system, the amount of fruit each vine produces, weather, irrigation, pest management...

        The combinations and permutations that exist in the world of fine wine are so extensive you'd need a four-dimensional chart with so many annotations that only a mathematician could understand it.

        Which is one reason that many winemakers opt for a simpler approach. Most use as much science as they can, but at some point, the best strategy is simply to walk on the vineyard. 

        Some of the best wines start out with people who spent years doing scientific research on vine orientation, rootstock attuned to soils, weather and a dozen other parameters. Doing years of research after purchasing land is expensive, but it's better than making "gut" decisions randomly and then years later tearing out vines and replanting.

        It's one reason fine wine is expensive. Wineries get only one chance a year to make each wine. And if they get it right, many people say good luck was involved.

        It's now September. Harvest is imminent. Last week a friend and winemaker asked if I wanted to assist in making a tiny amount of wine. I asked him about the vineyard he chose.

        "We won't buy a grape until you and I walk the rows, taste the fruit, and see what's there," he said. He also intends to take sample berries back to his lab for chemical analysis, to see what's in the vineyard. He has already assessed the soil, roots and scion wood and approves of them all.

        Because of costs, we may make just a small amount of wine this year, to gauge the vineyard's quality. It's too complicated to commit dollars to a project of such unknown issues.

        The key is walking the vineyard, which we'll do in a few days. An old saying in this game is, "The best fertilizer in a vineyard is the winemaker's footprint."

        Wine of the Week: 2019 Calcu Cabernet Sauvignon, Gran Reserva, Colchagua Valley ($16) -- Chile has made enormous strides with quality wines in the last 30 years and this wine is a superb value in an everyday dinner companion. Charming dark-berry fruit, elegant medium-weight wine with only 13.5% alcohol. Imported by Global Vineyard Importers, Berkeley, California.

        To find out more about Sonoma County resident Dan Berger and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com

COPYRIGHT 2022 CREATORS.COM

 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very interesting article. Nice diversion. Anyone know where the closest “quality” wine is bottled?


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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