Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Coronavirus Patient Speaks

Load up on water, Pedialyte, & Gatorade!

Who you gonna believe, the media or your lyin' eyes? Carl Goldman is a radio station owner in Santa Clarita, California. Unfortunately, the humorous businessman is also a Coronavirus patient.  He reported his experiences in a Washington ____ essay:

I have the coronavirus. And it hasn’t been that bad....

During the first few days, the hospital staff hooked me up to an IV, mostly as a precaution, and used it to administer magnesium and potassium, just to make sure I had plenty of vitamins. Other than that, my treatment has consisted of what felt like gallons and gallons of Gatorade — and, when my fever rose just above 100 degrees, some ibuprofen. The nurses came to the room every four hours or so, to check my vitals, ask if I needed anything and to draw my blood. I got very good at unhooking all the monitors checking my oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate so I could go to the bathroom or just pace around the room a little, to get my blood flowing. I never quite got the hang of hooking them back up without making a tangled mess. After 10 days, I moved out of biocontainment and into the same facility as Jeri. Now we can videochat from our separate quarantines, in neighboring rooms.

As of my most recent test, on Thursday, I am still testing positive for the virus. But by now, I don’t require much medical care. The nurses check my temperature twice a day and draw my blood, because I’ve agreed to participate in a clinical study to try to find a treatment for coronavirus. If I test negative three days in a row, then I get to leave.... Rest of essay.

Mr. Goldman followed Nietzche's dictum about poets exploiting their experiences and is doing what else but blogging about his ordeal:

The Vice-President, Mike Pence called me. I missed his call. I was on the phone with my son.

My wife, Jeri called me a few minutes later. She was thrilled. Pence called her and they had a terrific five-minute conversation. It is very cool the Vice-President would take a small chunk of his day to reach out.

Jeri and I are both quarantined at the Nebraska Medicine Center in Omaha. I have the coronavirus, COVID-19. My wife does not.

Jeri received a double treat today. She tested negative, two days in a row. She will be a free woman on Monday. That completes her second 14-day mandatory quarantine.

While we were still quarantined onboard the Diamond Princess several weeks ago, we both vowed if one of us was able to leave without the other, we would go.

Our pledge makes even more sense now, since we are quarantined separately. Facetime works just as well in Santa Clarita, California as it does in Omaha, Nebraska. Our dog sitter, Shane will be relieved. Jeri will get to catch up at work after having been gone from KHTS since January 17.

I suspect our staff will be happy to see that it’s Jeri who is returning first and not me. I give them 72-hours upon my return for our staff to wish I was still in Omaha.

Owning and running a small Mom & Pop radio station and an online news site, can be challenging. Being away for 44 days now has tested our limits. Our staff has been stellar, filling in the gaps. We have never been away for more than two weeks since purchasing the station in 1990.

A reader commented our return to Santa Clarita might look like a scene from ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail.’ A monk ringing a bell and spewing incense could lead Jeri’s processional chanting, “Make way for the plague. Make way for the plague.”

We have been conducting many interviews to try to alleviate some of the panic we are sensing from the media.

Granted the coronavirus, COVID-19 is vicious. I went days feeling fine, contaminating everything I touched before my instantly rising fever gave me a clue, I was contagious. With six Diamond Princess passengers now dead, the virus is sobering. But my symptoms, along with our friends, Mark and Jerri Jorgensen are mild. Much less than a common cold.

Jerri Jorgensen and I experienced the rapidly rising high fever for a few hours. Mark did not. I still have a cough. Jerri and Mark never had one. I have been ranking my illness a “two” on a one-to-ten scale. If I wasn’t contagious, I would have been at work the next day.

I continue to recommend having a good thermometer to use as a comfort, making sure there is no fever spike, and not freaking out with each cough or sniffle.

Another reader enjoyed my Weird Al Yankovic request to convert the Knack’s hit, “My Sharona” to “My Corona.” She shared she owned a 1979 Toyota Corona. She and her friends sang, “My Corona,” as they were driving. I thought I had come up with an original idea. I was wrong. Rest of post.
Best wishes to Carl, Mark, and Jerri.


Anonymous said...

This is a good read KF. I caught it on ZH. A very few from the Diamond Princess have died so far.

Rush was discussed a hypothetical where the Covid-19 has actually been spreading in the US since the first of the year. And millions could have already been infected and recovered. Since there was no media fueled panic at the time then nobody was tested and people may have died and been attributed to the flu or pneumonia.

So the real numbers of the Wuhan Kung Flu putbreak on North America are completely unknown.

Anonymous said...

There is no corona virus.....only 5 people have it....they were almost dead before they died....buy more stock

Anonymous said...

Hot stock tip. Buy 3M. N95 mask prices are skyrocketing as inventories go to backorder!

Anonymous said...

@10:03 - I agree. That virus was rampant in China for weeks before the rest of the world found out. By that time, millions of people had come and gone from there, dragging the virus along with them. It has been confirmed that many people -maybe even MOST people - have an infection so mild they don’t really even notice. Just a “slight cold” type of thing. And the reality is, even a common cold can a very serious illness, even death in a person who already has a compromised respiratory system....as have all the people who have died from the corona virus, according to all the reports.

Anonymous said...

Guys. Relax. Gotta thin the herd every now and then.

Anonymous said...

One person's take at his point in time. It could have been a 9 for the person next door. Blame the media when the toll moves higher or it returns next year.

Anonymous said...

If a vaccine was available, would you take it?

Anonymous said...

Have lots of fluids nearby

If sick stay home

Check on elderly

Stay out of ER if you can help it

Take temp a lot and chart it

Catch up on movies for 2 weeks...maybe diet and pushups
(Talking to myself)

Anonymous said...

Serious question. Do we know if the ones dying are perfectly healthy or if they have weak immune symptoms, the same type weak bodies that the flu kills?

Anonymous said...

They haven't released data about the health, gender, or even the race of the deceased. There is a lot of unofficial data about ACE2 receptor vulnerabilities.
Here is a Zero Hedge post that details a lot of info.

A fact that I find interesting is the rapid spread in Iran. The outbreak skip numerous vulnerable nations geographically between the two nations. Begs the question why so many top Iranian and Chinese officials are in contact? Must be some killer energy and weapons deals taking place.

Anonymous said...

The media is using the Corona Virus scare to influence elections and the US economy ...

Where is my tin foil hat!!!

Anonymous said...

The media coverage of H1N1 during the previous administration's slow and poor response definitely makes a case for believing their current negative reporting is political.

Obama remained on vacation while 1000 Americans became infected before he cut his vacation short two days to address the nation from Camp David. No hysterics.

Anonymous said...

So...the Kang won't allow a post which includes the word Jew?

Anonymous said...

It was the flu.....

Kingfish said...

That's right, my little Madison County racist. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been approving your comments whenever it's pretty obvious it's yours. Especially after you banned me from your little FB group for no reason. In case folks are wondering, the aggrieved wrote "who in the hell is going to believe a Jew comedian who writes for a New York rag?"

Yeah, you really thought that was going to fly but then, I'm not the one who was the subject of a Clarion-Ledger editorial for racism. Of course when you are drunk posting at 3 or 4 AM, I'm sure it is funny to you, Mr. anti-semite.

Anonymous said...

It's so easy to manipulate the sheep.

Let's take a quick glance at some the examples when the media proclaimed death & destruction:

1998/1999: Y2K

2000: Measles

2001: Anthrax

2002: severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS)

2003-2008: H5N1 . . . something that made the Asian birds feel less than chipper.

2009: H1N1 . . .the Asian birds are still under the weather.
But twenty billion Asians make medical masks a fashion statement.

Stocks in medical mask companies hit new highs.

2010-2013: E. coli and Ebola Virus.

Hell, I have to stop at 2013.

I'm more worried about disturbing a water moccasin at my Pascagoula River camp or getting a spider bite while on my neighbor's pontoon boat.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid, the national TV networks ran news for 15 to 30 minutes every afternoon. Then the local TV station ran 15 to 30 minutes of local news, weather, and sports.

Some time in the late 1960s or early 1970s, the networks merged their news organizations into their entertainment organizations.

That is when we started seeing longer and repetitive "news" and filler material. That is also when we started seeing Ted Turner's 24-hour a day TV news. Now we get "news" brought to us as entertainment and a great deal of political bias.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS