Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Jackson Zoo loses accreditation (Updated)

The Jackson Zoo resigned its accreditation with the American Zoological Society last Friday.  The AZA confirmed the Zoo's resignation and its website reflects the change.

Update (4:28 PM): The Jackson Zoo issued the following press release: 

The Board of Directors of the Jackson Zoological Society voted unanimously to resign its membership in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA), sending a resignation letter on Friday, August the 19th. Zoo staff, with the support of the Board, will work over the next two-three years to identify a funding structure that supports its recently completed facility master plan and strengthen its organizational and financial model. The Zoo anticipates that it will re-apply to be a member of the AZA once the integrated funding, organizational and financials models are in place. 
 

Over the past 25 years, zoo staff has worked diligently to address the needs of an aging facility, while ensuring the highest standards of animal care. Going forward, Zoo staff will continue to focus on upgrading and transforming the zoo, working to broaden and strengthen its relationships with the philanthropic community, as well as its partnership with the City of Jackson.
 
 Jackson Zoo and its staff have tremendous respect for all of its great colleagues representing AZA-accredited institutions across the country. Zoo staff will continue to work with them in the future, ensuring that the animals that call Jackson Zoo home continue to receive the highest standards of care, which have always been central to the Zoo's efforts. The Jackson Zoo remains regulated by the US Department of Agriculture (USDA), the US Fish & Wildlife Service (USFWS) and the Mississippi State Department of Fish & Wildlife (MSDFW).
 
 



Kingfish note: Jackson Zoo Director Beth Poff confirmed the resignation also and said a press release will be issued later today. 

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

Close it down. Send the poor animals to a better run ZOO!
Put rocks, bricks bottles in the zoo cage. Let's see how many tourist are attracted.

Anonymous said...

Can someone tell me just one stinking thing that the current ruling junta hasn't totally f#@&*# up? Just one?

Anonymous said...

This is shameful.

It is shameful that the City can't be bothered to improve the corridor used to access the zoo from the interstate.

It is shameful that people actually think they will be immediately murdered/killed if they enter west Jackson.

This is on everyone: the City, the pieces of shit that have run parts of the city into the ground, and the wimps who fled at the first sign of trouble and continue to flee. Shame shame shame.

Anonymous said...

I'm disappointed to hear this. I have a family of four and we live in Madison, but we had a great time at the zoo earlier this summer on a Sunday morning - afternoon. I was expecting to be disappointed, but everyone had a great time and my kids - 6 and 4 especially loved it. Maybe we will hear what the story is in the press release.

Anonymous said...

Close the zoo. Stop delaying the inevitable.

Anonymous said...

So the boo birds come out and say close the zoo?

Let's destroy another cultural institution! who needs stinking Culture in central Mississippi

Anonymous said...

Why was the zoo operating in an area that nobody wanted to go to? I wonder what percentage of annual attendence was not institutional or group driven? A mother and two kids from Madison, Brandon, Crystal Springs, Pearl, or even Vicksburg did not want to drive into that cesspool to see a few animals. The Zoo itself did what it could, but being located in an area that is openly hostile towards the very people that usually fund zoos with their recreational dollars was a death knell.

Anonymous said...

Tell you what Madison family person. Write the Zoo a check today for $1000, $2000 or, better yet, $5000. Because this Jackson taxpayer is sick and tired of good money being thrown at the dump. Why don't you move your ass to Jackson and suck on 60+ mils to help pay for the dump zoo? The Jackson Zoo is a total joke.

Anonymous said...

It is shameful that the City can't be bothered to improve the corridor used to access the zoo from the interstate.

What do you suggest? Please be specific including how you'd pay for the improvements.

Anonymous said...

I also hate to hear this. We enjoy going to the zoo, and recently attended a very nice event there. The City and State need to do all they can to preserve this attraction.
All of you Jackson naysayers just need to go away. You haven't done anything to support the Zoo, so just stop.
And especially, "SMERK" you, 4:22.

Anonymous said...

Such a sad development. I read this afternoon that the orangutans are already in the process of being relocated. Are we to assume that the other animals will be relocated too, or can an unaccredited zoo keep certain animals?

Like @4:29, I live in the suburbs. We're friends of the zoo. We only go once or twice a year, but we always enjoy it when we go.

I can't understand the gloating that has already begun. When Jackson loses the zoo, we all lose the zoo. Yes, it has tremendous problems, but it also has tremendous potential. Maybe it's a casualty of Jackson, but it's an embarrassment to the whole metro area to have the zoo lose its accreditation.

News Flash: It's a small, small number of people outside the state who bother to distinguish between Jackson and the suburbs.

Anonymous said...

@5:07 - hey Mayor Yarber, I would suggest the City start by using the 1% sales tax fund to repave the crap roads leading to the Zoo. Then enforce the ordinances on the dilapidated and abandoned properties that line the street.

Designate the road the "Zoo corridor." That would cost about nothing. Organize people to volunteer to pick up trash and otherwise clean up around the road. Have JPD patrol this street more frequently. Do. Something.

Instead, the city and mayor waste time holding empty town halls on race relations. There is approximately zero real leadership in the city. This is the root of all that ails Jackson, including the abhorrent schools, unacceptable crime, and the image of the city.

As a Jackson resident it gets harder to defend the city lead by you morons each and every day.

Anonymous said...

@5:24: *led. You meant "led..."

Anonymous said...

apparently most of our leaders in Jackson or elsewhere have never heard of the word TRIAGE--in medical use--the assignment of degrees of urgency to wounds or illnesses to decide the order of treatment---it's obvious that "financial triage" should be applied to the govt of Chimneyville!!! The amount of money squandered recently on the Zoo is a tragedy and shows ONCE AGAIN that wishing, hoping and praying is not an effective PLAN for dealing with REAL problems!!

Anonymous said...

And how much has been pissed away on the Farrish Street project so far?

Anonymous said...

White guy in suburbs....I take my family to the zoo. It is enjoyable and we have had no issues. We all suffer if the zoo goes down. If Madison wants to step up and start a zoo, more power to them. Can't wait to read all the posts when every public school within 50 miles buses kids there. Jackson's Zoo has served a lot of kids in this area while yall sit around typing hate into your computer.

Anonymous said...

How much money have Tate and Friends put in the zoo over the past several years? Anyone check the bond Bill?

Anonymous said...

ZOO's cost money, lots of money to operate. Just look at other city's the size of Jackson or the metro size. The places that have great successful zoo's have partnerships with the business community along with its local patrons.

Branding a zoo or museum is a big deal today, with merchandising bringing in $$$$$. The bad news is currently the Jackson Zoo has nothing to brand. Until it is moved to a convenient location and I don't mean out of the city. How about I-55 with other projects?

Get the state leaders behind the project put a new state zoo in the area. Get Cellular South, Nissan,Trustmark, Blue Cross, Entergy, Southern Farm, Sanderson Farms, L-3 just to mention a few. It could be done, but won't, the legislators and the local business just don't have the balls to pull off something that will benefit the state and tourism.

Anonymous said...

Poor animals. Hope they're relocated soon.

Anonymous said...

Jackson has not yet reached the point where the politicians can stop
sympathizing with past suffering and start making hard business decisions, like moving the zoo. It could have been done, and Jackson does have a few spaces left where the zoo could be viable, but that ship may have already sailed. Sadly, Jackson's Black leadership has the same problem Mississippi's White leadership has always had... an inability to be visionary about the future because their eyes are always on the past. Mississippi and Jackson in particular has always been led by idiots with an agenda forty years behind it's current circumstance. Rejoice if you have enough money not to notice.

Anonymous said...

Move the zoo to Madison

Anonymous said...

Yeah put it in Madison. How many buses of kids from Jackson will it take to pay for the columns? Especially when they don't allow flamingos?

Anonymous said...

Move the zoo? Anywhere? NE Jackson (previously mentioned LeFluers Park), Madison, Pearl - who cares?

Who wants to write that hundred million dollar check?

I too 'like' the zoo; hate to see it close. But before Jackson, or the State, incurs the cost of moving it there are many other necessities that the money should be spent on, other than relocating the zoo to a 'white folks acceptable' area.

Anonymous said...

Metro center?

Anonymous said...

The zoo should close or relocate.

The city needs to prioritize and the zoo just isn't making the cut.

Repurpose these funds toward schooling and infrastructure.

It's had a good run but it's time has come.

Anonymous said...

http://www.jacksonfreepress.com/news/2016/aug/23/zoo-backs-out-national-accreditation-focus-funds/

Here is the actual story of what is going on. Everybody chill out and quit the sport bitching, please.

Anonymous said...

When our kids were younger we were members, and enjoyed the zoo a few times a year. It's a pretty good zoo for a large number of people (i.e., those living within an hour of Jackson).

Memphis and New Orleans, however, have world-class zoos and are only 3 hours away from here, plus they have numerous other tourist attractions in those two towns. The Jackson Zoo really had no chance in the long run in a deteriorating neighborhood in a deteriorating city.

Anonymous said...

I have 8mm movies of my parents and grandparents taking me to the Jackson Zoo in the mid 1950's. I swam in Livingston Lake. I took my kids there in the 1970's, 80's and 90's. I have taken my grandkids there also. The last time was about 4 years ago. I will not take them again until something changes. The problem I have IS NOT with the Zoo but with the roads, or lack thereof, to get there. I've tried Woodrow Wilson, Capitol St. from downtown, Capitol St. from I-220 and Ellis Ave. I refuse to destroy my vehicle on these pothole ridden excuses for streets. Hell, they would be better off being gravel. I remember when Boling St. was gravel and we traveled it several times a week to get to my grandparents house. The gravel road was much easier on a vehicle the what we have now. I don't want to lose the Zoo, but unless the City of Jackson administration makes MAJOR road improvements, not only in this area but to the entire city, not only will be Zoo be lost, but the entire city will become a ghost town.

Anonymous said...

Look at where the zoo is. No wonder it failed. No other city in the country places it's attractions in the middle of a 3rd world country.

Anonymous said...

@5:20 Compare the purchasing power of 39209 or 39216 with that of 39110 or 39157. Make your zoo safe or we'll go to Memphis or New Orleans.

Please don't relocate!! I stays in da burbs!!!

Anonymous said...

10:36 - what third world country did you just move here from? When the Jackson Zoo was built in its current location, it was at the edge of one of the finest residential/commercial areas in the state. West Capitol Street was covered with nice houses, big churches, and the Ellis Avenue & Woodrow Wilson commercial strip was booming.

The city did not place this attraction in the middle of a 3rd world country. The area around it deteriorated. Wake up and catch up before you type next time.

Anonymous said...

@9:01 PM, that isn't the "actual story", that is the JFP story. Don't tell us what to do, please.

Anonymous said...

@ August 23, 2016 at 11:12pm

"or we'll go to Memphis or New Orleans"

typical knuckle dragger logic!? Instead of keeping Mississippi dollars in Mississippi, you'd rather go spend your money in Memphis (who has a black mayor and black city council, and a black county mayor with majority black supervisory board) and New Orleans (which loves taking Mississippi money)

Mississippians are their own worse enemy! SMH

Anonymous said...

Every time you come on Jackson Jambalaya you look to see what are the hot topics for the day

Then if you see something pertaining to Jackson, you already know the comments are going to visceral and mean spirited

People expect Jackson to survive off magic pixie dust and any elected official is supposed to make repairs on an infrastructure that has been ignored for the last 50 years, overnight.

It's just not that simple Tristan. Jackson simply does not have the revenues to make the necessary repairs. The state does not want to issue any grants to make the repairs because they want to provide oversight on any nickel they funnel towards the city.

Where you have to agree with any stakeholders in Jackson, is that the state didn't require oversight committees when they funneled money to Madison and Rankin, so why do that to Jackson?

Needless to say, the hate is real, its unwarranted and it drags everybody down.

If you don't have a solution, then go shoot a deer or play in the mud or do whatever it is you people do, your hate and anger is really starting to become boring.

Anonymous said...

The obvious solution would be to move the Zoo to the perpetually under-utilzed Lefleur's Bluff Golf Course, putting it in close proximity to I-55, the Ag Museum, Children's Museum and Natural Science Museum. OF course, Kenny Stokes will scream RACISM but at this point it's either move it or close it.

Anonymous said...

Mary Hawkins would s--- a brick if someone tried to open a zoo in Madison.

Anonymous said...

What part of DEAD BROKE do u not understand---even in an area of champagne tastes and beer budgets MOST people EVENTUALLY understand that pixie dust and prayer WILL NOT solve REAL problems-----shut it down--move on and never mention it again!!

PittPanther said...

The "solution" of moving the zoo is not obvious. Now you're talking millions of dollars, and years of construction, before this new zoo would begin to earn a dime. The city doesn't have the money, the state has shown it has no interest in supporting anything except tax cuts.

Dr. Strangeglove said...

There is nothing in Jackson that a small nuclear warhead couldn't solve.

Anonymous said...

Pure folly to think that the Jackson Zoo is going to take a 2-3 years and get its funding act together to support a new "facility master plan and strengthen its organizational and financial model".

Anonymous said...

::
@ August 23, 2016 at 11:12pm

"or we'll go to Memphis or New Orleans"

typical knuckle dragger logic!? Instead of keeping Mississippi dollars in Mississippi, you'd rather go spend your money in Memphis (who has a black mayor and black city council, and a black county mayor with majority black supervisory board) and New Orleans (which loves taking Mississippi money) ::

Why would you point out the RACE of the Memphis leadership?? Especially when your wrong about it....

Jackson is a shithols and it will remain a shithole as long as the citizens and leadership focus on what divides.

Anonymous said...

Cities like Jackson need to buy up all the old parts of town and turn them into green spaces, nothing but blight in the inner city.

Anonymous said...

Sell the zoo to David Watkins.

Anonymous said...

Certainly 7:55, and a nuke would thankfully take out most of the worthless trash in the suburbs around it as well.

Anonymous said...

The Memphis and New Orleans zoos are very nice, indeed. However, going to Memphis or New Orleans isn't really an option when you have a beautiful day, small children, and just want to go have a fun outing. I thoroughly enjoyed the zoo frequently when my kids were young and hate that other young families may not have that option. It doesn't have to be the San Diego zoo to be an asset to the city.

Anonymous said...

@ August 24, 2016 at 8:52 AM

But (7:55 AM) would still push the button at their own detriment! LOL!!

Typical knuckle dragger logic!? SMH

Here Comes Santa With A Grant said...

@5:43; What State money was funneled into Madison and Rankin to save their bacon?

And if you think the granter of funds has no authority to oversee or inspect or audit the spending of those funds, you're really an idiot, aren't you?

And, no, infrastructure is not the primary problem for Jackson. It's merely one of the latest symptoms. If Jackson's leadership got a fifteen billion dollar federal infrastructure grant next week, it would be pissed away inside of six months.

Anonymous said...

The zoo is a luxury. It would be nice to keep it but when you cannot afford it you have to let it go.
The city is failing. Outlook for anything better is a dream. Leadership is a joke. Jackson is a criminal haven.
Just one small step in the right direction would be nice but not expected to happen.
People have to accept the facts. Jackson is not going down, it has already fallen. All that is left is people fighting over the body. Soon there will not be anything to fight over.

Anonymous said...

Make the Zoo a state park and let the state run and improve it over a period of years. This worked for Lefleur SP.

Anonymous said...

It is time to make difficult decisions and close the zoo. I enjoyed it as a kid, as a parent, and as a grandparent. However, the city of out of money.

Anonymous said...

Shut it down! Give some respect to the animals for once.

Anonymous said...

@ Here Comes Santa With A Grant said...

So Madison receives the benefit of the doubt and not Jackson?

Anonymous said...

the Zoo serves all in Mississippi, but Jackson taxpayers have to support it. The state should give money to support it or set up a tri county commission with funding from each county. Not fair that others get to go, but financial support is only from Jackson.

Benefit of What Doubt?.. said...

11:24 - The benefit of what doubt? What state money was sent to Madison to prop it up. Shit or get off the pot. It's not the benefit of any doubt. It's calling out a lie.

Anonymous said...

11:57, I thought the zoo charged an entrance fee?
If the city can't afford the zoo, close it.

Anonymous said...

This has been a long time coming. I live in Jackson and I do not ever want to go to the zoo because it's in the hood. I have always loved the idea of moving it somewhere like LeFleur's Park because it would do great there but as someone mentioned, where is the money going to come from to do this?

Anonymous said...

@ Benefit of What Doubt?.. said...

MDA (Mississippi Development Authority) did not provide grants for two retail developments in Madison and Ridgeland?

Anonymous said...

To those who think the state does nothing to support the zoo and that funding is entirely incumbent upon the City of Jackson, you are mistaken. There is routinely at least a $1 million earmark in the legislative bond bill for the zoo.

Anonymous said...

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2015/10/09/memphis-mayoral-election/73646646/

“I think everyone was expecting a Strickland victory,” he said. “No one was expecting a Strickland blowout.”

White mayor with business acumen is making strides in fixing the fiscal issues within city. Not a preacher with no business experience who prays away potholes and cant understand ARM mortgage language.

Anonymous said...

Animals kept in captivity deserve the very best that we as humans can provide or they should not be kept. I am a right wing rare meat eating and hunting son of a bitch but I also am a lover of animals (and little children) and cannot abide to see one neglected or abused. Shut the zoo if the money is not there to run it properly. The animals deserve it. We owe it.

Anonymous said...

I doubt the state would bother to step in...look what happened when they wanted to provide broader leadership for the airport. Wasting city dollars in court that the city of Jackson doesn't have. Jackson is dead...they just haven't had the funeral yet...

Anonymous said...

If the state had wanted to take over the zoo, instead of just propping it up every year with a million or so dollars, there wouldn't have been the same outcry as there was over the airport. The state didn't want to take it because it needed its help, they wanted to take it because it was valuable to some of the developers in Rankin County.

Big difference between the state getting involved where there is a state interest,and where there are personal interests.

Anonymous said...

@2:31 - evidently you don't understand much, or don't want to. There were no 'state grants' in the retail developments in Madison County. The developers did utilize available financing deals - but that is a big damn different deal than a 'grant'. Grants are like what the state put into Farrish Street, or the Tel-com (now Convention) Center.

Anonymous said...

There's no doubt that there is a boatload of undeveloped land around the airport. The bigger picture is when leadership is lacking the people in control play the race card and label everything as a takeover instead of the forward vision that is lacking. Unfortunately for the airport,zoo, and everything else needing attention don't bring us any help; just more truckloads of cash (1% sales tax for instance)...

Anonymous said...

To those of you who bitch and complain about people in "the burbs" not doing their fair share to support Jackson, etc., let me explain something to you. We TRIED!!!!! WE TRIED & TRIED & TRIED!!! "The burbs" didn't pull us away. We LEFT and created the burbs because we could NOT get Jackson leaders and/or the idiots still living there to see the writing on the wall. We left because we HAD to in order to have the type of community we wanted to live in. And before you jump up and say "whitey", let me remind you that it was not JUST white people who left. Bottom line: You had your chance. We BEGGED you to make better choices in leadership and to spend OUR money more wisely. But you refused. So SHUT UP with your bellyaching about how WE should step up now to bail you out. WE don't owe you a damn thing. YOU are the ones that made the decisions that made Jackson the city it is. YOU are the ones who sat back while Rome burned without so much as lifting a finger to force a change in direction. So now YOU can deal with the consequences of YOUR decisions. Meanwhile, the rest of us will enjoy the consequences of OUR decisions. Oh, and by the way- "poor" is not a valid excuse for ignoring crime and "old house" is not a good enough reason to dispose of your non-working appliances in the front yard or to forgo mowing the grass. As long as you continue to accept such behaviors, what you have now is as good as you will ever see.

Anonymous said...

Atlanta's zoo was once crumbling ruins with poor animal exhibits. The location is in one of the worst areas in the city. They closed areas of the zoo, got corporate sponsorships to pay for new exihibits and renovations. Parking areas were supervised with active security and the main gates were changed. This gave easier access and a safer route into the zoo. It took time and what a difference it made for the city. Before, Olympic Park, and before the Aquarium, the zoo became a main attraction again. Even before the pandas were brought in, the new zoo was a success.

I have visited Jackson's zoo around 4 times with field trips. The workers were rude, did not seem to even want to be there. There was no security in the parking lots that I could see. There have been a few improvements to exhibits and yet, it was still a great day out for the kids. Jackson needs to invest in their city and stop bickering before everything does indeed move out to the suburbs.

Anonymous said...

The Zoo isn't as grand as it was in the 1950s. Neither is anything else in this country. One of the reasons is because the overwhelming majority of our population is now made up of sissies whose favorite pastime is whining and complaining that no one else has solved their problems for them yet.

My kids love the Jackson Zoo. They don't have any memories of the better days. We do what we can to support it, and will continue to do so. It's the best we have.

Anonymous said...

"And before you jump up and say "whitey", let me remind you that it was not JUST white people who left."

7:29 Three of my five immediate Madison neighbors (left, right, across the street left, center, right) are, drum roll, black. College educated, professional, black, middle class and each of them have expressed no remorse for doing right by their children by exiting Jackson.

Anonymous said...

This whole black and white thing is silly, ignorant and has no place in our society. Black areas exist that are in poverty, drug and crime ridden. White areas exist that where children are being raised by Methheads. Leave it alone, and invest in your city.

Anonymous said...

The zoo has survived longer than expected considering it is in a city that has lost every movie theater, water park, mini golf, minor league baseball team etc. it's been on borrowed time for a long time now.

Anonymous said...

When a city is in a race to the bottom they will have to shed quite a few things. Extra weight like the zoo could hold them back.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

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This is definitely a Beaver production.


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There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

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