The Jackson Zoo commissioned the consulting firm Shultz & Williams to study the ability of the Jackson Zoo to fund a major facelift. The recommendations were not encouraging as S&W recommended that the firm not proceed with a $15 million capital campaign until the zoo's future was more secure. The report's executive summary is posted below.
Kingfish note: Disclaimer: I serve on the Board and thus am bound by a confidentiality agreement. I will post more information when able to do so.
Monday, April 16, 2018
Zoo consultants questioned fund-raising campaign
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
18 comments:
Since when is a public board restricted in its comments that don't involve contract bids, legal matters, negotiation plans or personnel matters? Since boards are controlled, to an extent, by public meetings regulations, they can't make decisions outside the open meetings anyway (unless they go into closed session).
I think you've mounted a 'high horse' in your claim to be mute.
Get those poor animals out of there and shut that dump down. I can't think of any legitimate business that can survive much less flourish in that part of Jackson. Also I truly feel that it would be borderline criminal to fool some unsuspecting tourist and their family into going into that war zone thinking they were about to visit a worthwhile zoo and end up getting themselves killed.
At this point, the only legitimate avenue for the zoo to continue to operate at the current location is to partner with the state and make the zoo a state zoo or state park. I'd do this thru Jackson State University, adding an Animal Sciences degree to their offerings and making the zoo a part of the training, etc. This can be accompanied with state funding for a massive amount of one-time improvements, etc.
Of course, this will never happen.
The zoo has shot itself in the foot by being so secretive with their dealings. They get almost $1 million per year from a public entity (City of Jackson) but they act like its all family money and nobody's business.
Close the zoo.
I don't want to make excuses for the zoo. It's fate is sealed. It will be moved or closed. The city administration can either beat a dead horse or go to work TRYING, TRYING, to find a reasonable way to finance a move. However, I'm sick of these raving idiots talking about people getting killed at the zoo, or going into a war zone. Sure, it's not the pleasant part of town and it's not where most people feel comfortable, but hundreds of thousands of people are in far more danger in the New Orleans French quarter every year than in that ole zoo. The zoo could be much better someplace else,but this is Jackson Mississippi and there are some people who wouldn't be satisfied if Disney were located in west Jackson. Whew!
Tourists, in Jackson? That is laughable.
I see why ole CW doesn't support the move, West Jackson has seen lots of decline over the years, but lets not be sore looser...Move the Zoo to Leflur so that there can be an entire experience and day spent in the City of Jackson!
1:54 I feel the exactly the same when I go to Shuckers.
1:05 - The standard reply would be for you to either start your own blog or research the archives, but, since neither of those answers applies....Oh well.
S&W deserves a raise for having the courage to recommend the OBVIOUS---DONT THROW GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD!!!!
1:54, couldn’t agree with you more. The sooner the animals are moved to another, safe location — preferably out of Mississippi — certainly, out of Jackson, MS — the better.
Oh, now, 1:54, settle down. I agree 100% about moving the innocent animals to fresh fields and cages in more prosperous cities, that can afford to treat them as they deserve. But really, about the unsuspecting tourists---"get themselves killed"? Yes, West Jackson is a slum, no other word will do, and it shall remain a slum, but I have visited the zoo many times in the past few years, and never felt endangered.
10:05 You mean you actually took children to the war zone and they weren't slaughtered? Unbelievable.
I'm beginning to doubt the zoo will ever move. It will likely die a slow death at the current location. Funding and attendance will continue to decrease, animals will be relocated to other zoos or die and not be replaced, until there's little left and the inevitable will happen.
last night a woman was shot in the head on bullard street. so--marty mctourist goes to the jackson zoo...needs gas...goes to a station in west jackson..hopes and prays he and his family doesn't end up in a body bag.
the zoo needs to either move or be shut down. and if we put state monies into the project, it has to be in a location where people don't get shot in the head on a seemingly regular basis.
The animals are the things that is suffering the most.
While all of the people argue about which group is the racist and people continue to kill people all around the zoo, the animals are fenced in waiting for the next pack of dogs to come through looking for a meal.
At least, for the sake of the animals. Either move the zoo or close it. All of you people will find some other reason to call each other racist.
This report is dated November, 2016... what gives?
Boy , on a hot foggy morning with a south wind those folks at Eastover are going to get a good wiff of elephant poop. As people travel from counties south of Jackson up 55 they will first be succumbed by the lambasting smell of the Jackson’s sewer plant at Savannah Street. Then as they start exiting onto Lakeland Drive they will get another powerful dose of aromatic wonders alerting them that they are there and have arrived!
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