Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Bedwetter alert: UK edition

It almost hurts to post this tweet from a British police unit.  To think these people once ruled the world and beat the Nazis.


41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laugh all you want, but at least the Brits have the guts to acknowledge a problem and address it. Unlike us. We cow tow to the satanic NRA.

Anonymous said...

The MP used to be a halo police agency, and now they're chasing people down with scissors and screwdrivers - what a shame.

Burke said...

May not strain credulity if we had some context. For example, were these "weapons" found in the possession of 6 different persons?

Louis LeFleur said...

The Brits are having enough fun with this that I don't really have anything to add. Thought for sure it was a joke or satire at first. Sadly not. I did enjoy, however, reading through some of the comments displaying how to distinguish between a ratchet, tactical ratchet, and assault ratchet.... or tactical screwdriver and fully automatic screwdriver, etc.

Anonymous said...

In Brits have banned self defense, that is the sole right of the state to defend you. You will be prosecuted for defending yourself in any way. Praise Jesus for the NRA. The knowledge that you could be armed is saving your ass and you do not even know it.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me this is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Troll at 3:23. Don't feed him, please.

And it's kowtow, genius. No bovines are being hauled away.

Anonymous said...

3:23, yes - because the NRA promotes irresponsible gun ownership. I guess I'll have to look for an affinity group to defend my ownership of scissors and hand tools.

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on 3:23.

A troll with your grammer skills can certainly do better than this post.


Anonymous said...

This is what you get, properly drowning in your own snootiness, with your noses still turned up to the world.....perhaps too good for yourselves even.

Ophelia said...

I own multiples of all these deadly assault household tools. And I'll give up my kitchen scissors when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Anonymous said...

"Laugh all you want, but at least the Brits have the guts to acknowledge a problem and address it. Unlike us. We kowtow to the satanic NRA."

Feel better? ALL FIXED. NOW. London just passed the USA in murders. Like I said, they are addressing it. Our "leaders" ARE kowtowing TO THE SATANIC, LYING, BUMP STOCK AND SILENCER, ARMOR PIERCING BULLET SUPPORTING NRA.

Anonymous said...

Wow, my tool belt basically makes me Deadpool or Neo from the Matrix.

Anonymous said...

It is not the "weapons" it's the immigrants using them. That IS the PROBLEM!

Anonymous said...

In 1940, England was the richest and most powerful nation on Earth. England, in 2018, could not whip the Vermont National Guard and they are flat broke. What is the difference........SOCIALISM. It works every time!

Anonymous said...

This picture from the comments on the tweet made me laugh out loud.

Someone is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Brits beat Nazis? HAAAHAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA Limeys road Uncle Sam's coattail.

Anonymous said...

Dial #LAW to join the class action against Fiskers.

Bob's Your Uncle said...

That electrician needs his tools back........

Anonymous said...

4:05. You left out 30 round magazines. They are very important in deer hunting.

Anonymous said...

GIMMME YO MONEY OR IMA GONNA FILE YO FINGA NAILS.

You know a Mill Bastard...that’s a file for you softies, can sure cut some mean burred up threads on a Bolt. But most of you wouldn’t know that. So next time you go to a hardware go look in the section where the files are and look at what is on the bottom edge of a particular type...a Mill bastard.

Anonymous said...

At WWII, Britain had given up most of its guns, when the threat of Hitler loomed close, American sportsmen sent an untold number of privately held weapons to citizens there for defense of country. If you think the privately held weapons in Americans hand are not a deterrent to hostile takeover, defend yourself with your Iphone.

Anonymous said...

A Brief History of British Gun Control
(or, How to Disarm the Law Abiding Populace by Stealth)
by P.A. Luty



http://www.ncc-1776.org/tle2010/tle558-20100221-07.html

Anonymous said...

NRA: Never Reasonable Anytime!

Anonymous said...

7:13 NRA's been around MUCH longer than the spate of mass shootings we've had. A LOT longer.

But the NRA's the problem. OK. Right. Got it.












IDIOT.

Anonymous said...

Repy to 4:42
In 1946 the United States was the most powerful nation on earth & debt free. The United States debt, which topped $21 trillion on March 15, 2018 is out of control. Our congress is imploding. Our military has no commander in chief worth a flip. Anyway, armed private citizens would be no match for our military.

Anonymous said...

1st Amendment is under siege: young Cuomo claims "hate speech" is not protected by the 1st Amendment.

2nd Amendment is under siege: see CNN, MSNBC, NYT, and posters on JJ.

Which Amendment is next?

Anonymous said...

7:39--Any when they get the 2nd, with the 2nd in place, it prevents the taking of the others. That is why leftist want the 2nd gone.

Anonymous said...

@ 3:23 must be related to David Hogg, the liberal left's new poster child for girly men!!!!

Anonymous said...

It kills me when idiots argue that assault weapons will deter the most powerful armed forces in the world from "taking over our country". We no longer need or have a "well regulated militia" OR muskets. I think I need a tank to keep my right "to bear arms". Rednecks. They equate assault weapons with big dicks (or wanna be big dicks)

Anonymous said...

@7:31.

Tell that to the Vietnamese.

Anonymous said...

9:21 with the post of the day.

Earl Pavoiux said...

Good Lord. And the British Empire once ruled the world. And in other news, an electrician and a plumber lost their jobs today when they showed up at the worksite with no tools. And six other citize, er, subjects, lost their life today when they were stabbed by recent immigrants.

Anonymous said...

8:41--Just because you are scared does not mean that it is not a deterrent to enemies, foreign and domestic.

Anonymous said...

@7:31,

Did you really just say that the United States was “debt free” in 1946, in the aftermath of World War II, when the debt to GDP ratio was more than 100%?

Please, excuse yourself from discussing that topic again.

Anonymous said...

Bedwetter #1 @ 3:23.

Joseph said...

Have they banned The Doctor's sonic screwdriver yet?

Anonymous said...

10:51 Postmodernity never allows facts to get in the way of the narrative sold as fact.

Kingfish said...

Guess Battle of Britain and El Alamein were fiction.

Anonymous said...

TO 8;41.......'IT KILLS ME'...dont do us any favors

F mickns said...

FILE UNDER: You Just Cannot Make This Stuff UP"

The madness and insanity continues in the NRA US of A

1.

https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/bulletproof-backpacks/story?id=53362546

2.

http://www.bulletblocker.com/bullet-proof-backpack-shield.html

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.