Tim Tebow, Heisman Trophy winning quarterback-turned NFL washout-turned football TV analyst, now wants to become a Major League baseball player.
Good luck with that.
Tebow is 29 years old and hasn't played baseball since he was a high school junior.
This probably won't go well.
Granted, Tebow is an elite athlete, amazingly strong and fast. From all accounts, he has a work ethic second to none. But people said much the same about Michael Jordan when he decided he wanted to become a professional baseball player at age 31.
Remember?
The White Sox signed him and quickly promoted him to Class AA Birmingham. I remember going to Hoover to watch him play in 1994 — and feeling sorry for him. It takes a lot to make someone feel sorry for the world's most successful and richest athlete. In the field, MJ misplayed a fly ball. At the plate, his swing was long and slow. He often swung where the ball wasn't. He looked out of place. He was.
And he was soon back on a basketball floor where he belonged.
Jordan was trying to do what Tebow wants to do now, which is become a corner outfielder in the Major Leagues. To do that, he will have to show he can hit Big League pitching. There is no harder task in sports.
Consider that a fastball thrown at 95 mph reaches home plate in about four-tenths of a second. That's about two voluntary blinks of an eye. In that time, a batter must recognize the pitch, determine precisely where it's coming and then swing a bat and connect with the ball at precisely the right spot and time. Remember, two blinks of an eye.
And keep in mind, that fastball might not be a fastball. It might be a curve, a slider, a change up or a cutter. Hitting the ball solidly would be hard enough if it came in a straight line, but the damned thing moves. Major League pitchers change their speeds and locations.
Hitting Major League pitching not only requires uncommon physical skills and vision but also years and years of practice and repetition. You don't take 12 years off and then learn to hit Clayton Kershaw. It just doesn't work like that.
Now comes the news that after Tebow's tryout last week, the Atlanta Braves were among one of the few teams interested in his services. And that means that Tebow conceivably could be in Pearl next summer at Trustmark Park trying to hone his hitting skills.
He'll be 30 then. The Braves or whoever signs him can't afford to bring him along slowly. He will get baseball's version of being thrown to the wolves. Surely, he would sell some tickets in the process.
The A-Braves own their Minor League teams and all are located in SEC country. They know Tebow will be a drawing card at the gate— to a point, that is. It's no fun to go watch anybody strikeout, no matter how great a football or basketball player he once was.
Tim Tebow is a nice guy. He was charming, as polite and down-to-earth as could be this past spring when he came to speak at The Clarion-Ledger's highly successful Best of MS Preps banquet. I wish him well. I just believe he would have a much better chance of becoming an NFL tight end or H-back than he has of becoming a Major League slugger.
That's not the point, Tebow would tell us. He doesn't want to play tight end. He wants to play baseball.
After his tryout, he told reporters: “Regardless of if you fail, or if you fall on your face, if that's the worst thing that can happen, that's OK. When did that become such a bad thing? When did pursuing what you love become a bad thing, regardless of the result?”
If that's how he really feels, he should go for it. Where hitting Major League pitching is concerned, he will have plenty of company in his failure.
Rick Cleveland is a Jackson-based syndicated columnist. His email address is rcleveland@mississippitoday.org.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Rick Cleveland on Tim Tebow
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
25 comments:
Predictable column from the Bill Minor of the Mississippi sports scene.
Predictable comment from the Rush Limbaugh of the Jackson Jambalaya scene.
Rick Cleveland, the best columnist in Mississippi.
A fine article. How can anyone not enjoy this?
Tebow has gone from inspiring to pathetic. He had a promising career as a broadcaster--perhaps still does.
perhaps he should have chosen baseball over football...no heisman, but perhaps a nice AAA or AA career player.
Because it's a string of hackneyed clichés?
I say follow your dreams if you can, and Tebow can.
Thanks, Rick.
I was at an M-Braves game last week. Granted it was a school night and the last week of the regular season, but there were maybe 1,000 people there. They would sell out every night if Tebow was there.
Since when did the keyboard commandos pick up the banner of policing literary prose and style? Pretty sad if you ask me. These people would be the first to get a swirly if they joined me in the school of hard knocks.
Rick Cleveland walks on water. When it comes to self-adulation Rick is Numero Uno!
What's the harm, Rick? He'll either succeed or he won't.
Players who are drafted for the wrong reasons (e.g. Michael Sam) or coaches who are hired for the wrong reasons (e.g. Sylvester Croom) wash out and, to quote Mike Tyson, "fade into Bolivian." In sports, things tend to sort themselves out without everyone crapping all over a storyline.
I suppose we can all look forward to next week's column which will tell us how we shouldn't enjoy the start to the college football season too much because it'll all be over in January.
Hugh Kennenburger wants to be as popular as Rick Cleveland. He interviewed a few MS State recruits after their loss to USA. I don't recall him doing this after the Jacksonville State or Memphis losses. He'd love for Hugh Freeze to be his "daddy".
The Cleveland boys, Rick and Bobby, both posted. And maybe one other family member. Rick can't afford to piss off his Ole Myth frands or he'd write about the impending demise of Hugh freeze. And his lib compadres would run him out of the county if he stood up (literally) for Dixie.
"fade into Bolivian."
Thanks......that made my day.
If not for his oh-so-prominent "Christianity", nobody would give a rat's ass about Tim Tebow. There are thousands of athletes every bit as talented as him but who didn't take their religion to the bank. Biggest fake ever.
Great insight...(insert eye roll). Who cares, Rick? Would you go see him if he came to Pearl? Of course you would. "This won't go well.." What does that mean? He'll die? Lighting will strike the field? Or he may just find out he's not elite enough to play professionally. Sensationalize everything...I thought you were above that.
Tebow is a great role model for kids and grownups- Cleveland is by far is the most respected sportswriter in Mississippi. We're lucky to have him!
"Tebow has gone from inspiring to pathetic. He had a promising career as a broadcaster--perhaps still does."
September 7, 2016 at 8:50 AM
Yes, but a broadcaster has greatly diminished opportunity for sharing hotel rooms with other fine young heterosexual athletes - sharing his - um - faith - with them, whilst clothed in nothing but a towel and his righteousness.
Had Tebow decided to return to the NFL as a "tight end or H-back" Cleveland would be predicting similar doom saying he was too old, that it was now too late, that he should have reached this conclusion earlier (when all the omnipotent sports writers were calling for the position shift) and that "he will have plenty of company in his failure".
This column is nothing more that a thinly veiled smear at an athlete and person who refuses to kowtow to the 'wisdom' of the sports chattering class.
Regardless of your political views, Rick is a Mississippi treasure. He is hands down the best sports writer our state has eve seen.
Coach Mullens sure wishes he still had ol' Timmy playing for him.
9:13; Mullens is a QB at Southern Miss. Turn your cap around. And learn to spell.
The Mets are signing Tebow so now Cleveland can actually root for his failure instead of predicting it. I'm sure a 'Mets are stupid' column is now in the offing from our "Mississippi treasure".
Hey guys, have you heard that hitting Major League pitching is difficult? Amazing! I'd never heard that before!
Also, did you know?
You can make your articles more dramatic with single sentence paragraphs.
Sometimes, it doesn't even need to be a complete sentence.
Just a phrase.
See?
This is nothing more than a minor league beer night, bobblehead night, free t-shirt night, ticket selling stunt by the New York Mets organization. Just ask the Con Maloney family how many ticket buying fans it takes to "break even." For anyone who knows baseball, there is undoubtedly a high school, college, or for sure Domenican kid that has more potential to "make the major leagues." It is what it is, enjoy your $4.00 hot dog watching Tebow chase a curveball.
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