Friday, September 2, 2016

MHP will be out in force

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following statement:

The Mississippi Highway Patrol will begin the 2016 Labor Day Enforcement Period on Friday, September 2nd at 6 p.m. and conclude Monday, September 5th at midnight. Due to anticipation of heavy traffic and a significant increase in traffic fatalities for 2016, State Troopers will place emphasis on saturation patrols to combat reckless and distracted driving. Additional safety checkpoints will be established to promote seatbelt usage and remove impaired drivers from the roadways. Drivers are urged to avoid text messaging or any driver distraction that could endanger lives while traveling. MHP investigated 132 crashes including 4 fatalities during the 2015 Labor Day enforcement period. We’re hoping all motorists and families will enjoy the last holiday weekend of the summer and arrive at their destinations safely.


Celebratin' Union Labor!!! said...

Does that mean if I'm driving in a car that's filled to my neck in booze I'll get a ticket?

Vote Libertarian said...

Only if you are texting and driving, 10:55...

Anonymous said...

Saturday, can I stay right behind the MHP Denali headed up 25 to Starkville going 88 miles per hour without raising suspicion? I just want to get there on time and all.

Anonymous said...

If you are a female, and are pulled over by the MHP, it is in your best interest to pull over, and call the Sherrif and request a witness. Females should not get out of the car if there is only one MHP present.

Anonymous said...

10:55, one thing that is means is there will be a lot of children and families having family events without their trooper loved one. Children, thankfully shouldn't have no clue, but no doubt there will be adult family members praying they don't get a call or see an unmarked vehicle drive up to their home.

I've known many state troopers over the years and there have been a few jerks, but for the most part they have been courteous and respectful. Lets not lump them all together with snide remarks. I have been thankful on several occasions over the years to see blue lights of MHP.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to carry an extra bottle of Nyquil just in case.

Anonymous said...

You know what 5:27, I could care less about what they miss. I served 26 years in the military in the infantry and combat engineers. I deployed three times and I missed many holidays, birthdays, ballgames, etc, etc, etc,. They knew what the job requirements were when the took the oath. They knew what the hazards are. They get to ride in a shiny,clean, new car in an air conditioned environment. They wear a clean uniform, with a duty belt that contains all the latest weapons to protect them. Based on latest news reports they participate in all types of sexual escapades on the clock with no consequences. So please spare me, those people are not special.

Anonymous said...

5:27 -- troopers sign up to work holidays and special details, lots of overtime to be had, and more time to chase truckers down for some manly love at the weigh station!

Anonymous said...

Roger that 8:54!

Anonymous said...

8:54, I was a combat engineer also. I completely agree with you. Sure wish I would have had a nice new air conditioned car to ride around in while writing tickets.

Dave's not here said...

They should have to work like this every day,not only on holidays!!

Anonymous said...

MHP leadership stated there would be extra troopers on the road this weekend. I call b.s. because they'll all be at the college football games.

Anonymous said...

So exactly how many troopers have been guilty of sexual harassment? The public needs to know this and why is it being hidden? Lowdown to try and get laid that way. That's my opinion

Car 54 Where Were You.. said...

Did not see a single trooper on the way to Starkville or on the way back yesterday, last night. Not ONE! Usually there are two or three cruising Hwy 25 and another one staked out on a hill between Louisville and Starkpatch trying to catch people coming over the hill. Nada! I saw a few at the game but not many. Maybe Bennie was having a fish fry with lots of parking problems.

Anonymous said...

I didn't see a single trooper as I drove to and from Baton Rouge yesterday, but then again I didn't check the rest stops and weigh stations

Kingfish said...

Made that trip Friday. Didn't see any at all going down. Hell, I was getting run over and I was driving between 75 and 80. On way back I saw the usual one at his hangout on this side of Brookhaven.

Anonymous said...

The troopers were too busy manning "safety checkpoints"

Anonymous said...

Well, they certainly weren't WO-manning those revenue stops, er "safety" checkpoints.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS