Thursday, September 22, 2016

Bedwetter alert!

A journalism student at LSU is intimidated by trucks!!! The horror.  Read this op-ed column at

Trucks are obtrusive, unnecessary and ugly. We are humans, not elephant seals. Males need to stop equating their worth with the size of the horns they honk. No college student living and driving in the metro area of Baton Rouge needs six tires and a Paul Bunyan-esque vehicle that is half truck bed.

Yeah, the guy in Wrangler jeans and a white T-shirt in the Ford commercials is gruff and handsome and manly — in a conventional sense — but you buying the truck in that commercial is falling for the most basic marketing ploy. You are still a scrawny redneck-looking boy trying to discreetly stuff tobacco in your mouth outside Coates.

If anything, your souped-up truck only emphasizes how small and measly you are when you have to hitch your leg up and jump in it.

Trucks scream excess — excess of gas, parking spots and the amount of space you think you should take up in public compared to everyone else. They are the epitome of unnecessary auto machinery.

 But campus is not a farm out in Walker, Louisiana. Most truck drivers come from some suburban areas that equate southern machismo with big, expensive trucks. Is your manliness also judged by the number of parking spots you hog or smaller cars you crush while trying to maneuver your truck?

Trucks have become the physical embodiment of manspreading on roads and parking lots. Guys, we are not good drivers. When you hog the road without being aware of the smaller cars around you, it is menacing and intimidating.
Sure, #notalltrucks are at fault, but a huge amount of them are obnoxious on the road and a nuisance to other drivers.
Don’t care what I think? The chance of a single vehicle crash resulting in death is about 50 percent higher in trucks, according to a report by Raise the Hammer. This statistic is even worse considering that the most aggressive, young, under educated male drivers are drawn to trucks, vehicles with the least stability and pose the most danger to other drivers.

Believe me, or continue to deny your obvious fragile masculinity. We all know what they say about compensation…

This particular student states on one of his social media pages that he "studies journalism along with women and gender studies at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge. Examines diversity within media and communities in Louisiana while working to create alleviating change for the state."

Note: This guy wants to be a journalist? He better get a stronger stomach. What is he going to do when he doesn't have his editor, publisher, or mommy to protect him out in the field?


exjxnres said...

Obviously, he drives a Prius......

Anonymous said...

I'll give up my truck when the soccer mom's give up their Suburban's....

Anonymous said...

As long as I am the one buying and insuring the truck I will drive what I please. Keep your nose out of my business and I will keep my foot out of your ass.

Anonymous said...

Kenn Bakowski, marketing manager for General Motors’ GMC Sierra pickup, sees more affluent customers driving the truck market, especially in the heavy-duty sector.

“These are folks with money,” he says. “They are more likely to be college-educated or have a graduate degree or consider themselves a professional or entrepreneur.”

60,000 dollar trucks are not the ride of the under educated and poor. Facts matter, son. And the wealthiest folks are farmers and landscapers, who actually use trucks.

Anonymous said...

I can't help but think this guy's really joking.

Anonymous said...

This guy makes several good points. I drive a 16+ year old Ford 1-50 with 240k miles on it. As a result of his excellent article, I am going to trade it in on a new hybrid sedan that puts me at risk of being smashed by all of the suburban's driven by soccer mom's in Madison and Rankin Counties. I am going to pay $35,000 to downsize to that new car (net of trade in) and take on a car payment in the process - after having not had one for over 16 years. I will also get the privilege to pay for the $1000 tag on the new car rather than the $30 I pay for that truck.

Now that I think about it, I will just keep the truck and stay out of Baton Rouge.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if this hippie is aware of the energy it takes to produce the batteries in his electric car. Nothing screams Dumb, like a Smart car.

Anonymous said...

This young person of gender undecided should establish a safe space to sit and talk about how important it is to foster a queer-affirming, globalized network of like-minded social justice advocates who share world views.

Anonymous said...

OK lets see
Paul Bunyan
Wrangler Jeans
White T-shirt
Red Neck Looking

Me thinks he has issues beyond being a student

Anonymous said...

A clear case of lumbersexualaphobia. No mention of magnaflows, AR15s, Smith & Wessons, Confederate Flags or Trump stickers. Nothing to fear! In Jackistan we know the real danger is the uninsured tagless Nissan Altima with the Obama '08 sticker on the doughnut spare tire after a 5:00pm pop-up shower.

Anonymous said...

Donna needs to hire this guy at JFP before he gets away. I wonder how many trips to Mississippi he will have to make in his Prius to get all of his skinny jeans moved.

Anonymous said...

With the first pick in the 2017 Social Justice Warrior Draft, the Jackson Free Press selects ... Ryan Thaxton of LSU.

Anonymous said...

The bigger the truck, the smaller the driver's stick shift. It's called compensating.

Anonymous said...

On game day in Baton Rouge next month . . . I bet this little "gender studies" snowflake will sit with that Ole Miss dude that sports the Farrah Fawcett hair-do.

Oh wait . . . football is masculine, doubt he’ll be there.

Anonymous said...

Hail State and my big ol' truck.

Anonymous said...

Trucks matter!

Anonymous said...

As Joe Diffie once said....."there's something women like about a pickup man."

Anonymous said...

As a female who drives an extended-cab Ford F-150 Lariat, I'm offended by his article. This jerk shouldn't be complaining anyway...he can park his stupid little Smart Car next to the bicycle bar that no one uses anymore.

The comments on the original article are hilarious!!!

Anonymous said...

I am so sick of the liberal panty-waist crowd, Jesus, his personal statement sounds like his mangina is about to explode. The funny part is that I am sure if this assclown was walking down the street in Charleston, he would be beat to death by the assholes he thinks that he is trying to make the world a better place for by being such a douche. BTW, I drive, predictably by all you liberal fucktards, a big ass truck and I am proud of it, and you can all go to hell.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:33

Love, love your post.

I think I will do the same. Trade in/sale my 2003 Z71 in order to protect others while I grab me up a tiny car in order to get smashed by other trucks.

Its the driver, not the car. Again, PC retards.


HDMatthias, MD said...

TROLL ALERT! The "journalism" student forgot to check his grammar. In paragraph two, "but you buying the truck in that commercial IS [are} falling for the most basic marketing ploy.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

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This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS