Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Thankfully, no one was hurt.

A brazen auto theft took place at the Chevron in Highland Village last night at 7:00 PM.
A lady was at the self-service gas pump while her ten year-old daughter was in the vehicle.  A black male walked up and got in the car in front of "everyone at the gas station".  The child screamed and jumped out of the vehicle.  The thief drove away.  Gas station employees tried to stop him but to no avail. The crime is considered to be an auto theft as no weapon was used.   The victim's sister posted this update on Nextdoor:


My sister was carjacked tonight at Highland Village Chevron as she pumped gas. The assailant entered her car from passenger side as she finished pumping gas. Her 10 year old was in the car and managed to get out of car.  The assailant stole her car, her purse, her phone, all identification and keys
 Kudos to Chevron employees who tried to stop him. 

Please be careful and aware and lock your
car at all times.
Burgundy Toyota Scion wagon with Hinds County plates.
 A witness posted this message:

I unfortunately witnessed this. It is incredible how brazen the guy was. There were many people around when it happened, including another lady with her daughter. These people do not care about anyone else and are undeterred by security guards, etc. I don't know what the solution is, but something significant has to change or the crime will continue to get worse.


JPD confirmed the crime took place. 



91 comments:

PittPanther said...

He thought it was an Uber.

Anonymous said...

People who fled to Madison county talking trash in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Anonymous said...

My sister was carjacking in flowood last month... also drove a scion wagon. The vehicle was recovered a week later in pearl at a house behind Frisco deli near Trustmark park along with a stolen impala and Z71 truck... these people are all crazy cop told my sister they target people at gas stations bc keys are usually still in the car

Anonymous said...

@2:51, the correct verbage makes all the difference in your comment!

Anonymous said...

Stupid pollyannas tolerating Jackustan's criminal environs respond in 4 ... 5 ... 6 ...

Anonymous said...

he didnt have money for the uber after shopping at whole paycheck..

Anonymous said...

@3:47 -- Nice spelling of "verbiage" in your post criticizing another's "verbage." Troll.

Anonymous said...

This segment lost their sense of humanity long, long ago. The only thing that kept them in check for years was the fear of reprisal from society. With the liberal culture permitting Jackson and Hinds County, that element of fear has now been removed........opening the door for the entitlement mentality to take over. Jackson is too far gone to save.

Anonymous said...

Perp is lucky that child's mother wasn't packing. Had that been me, or my husband, and one of our children in the vehicle this story would have been about a justifiable homicide. We've both spent many, many hours on the range. It would have been over with one shot.

KonnerDay said...

The verbage vs verbiage issue is a good example of this. The two tend to be used interchangeably, and that is a big problem. Because only one of them is actually a word to be begin with.

Anonymous said...

Auto theft, really?

A car was forcibly taken from its owner while their child was still inside?

Carjacking at best.

Sounds like attempted kidnapping.

JPD downplaying and misclassifying crime to make their numbers look good.

So guns were fired, but how do we know the carjacker was unarmed?

Anonymous said...

@2:38 - Trash talk on a blog is more concerning than "The child screamed and jumped out of the vehicle"?

Anonymous said...

@4:21, i hear what you're saying and agree dont get me wrong but you've no clue what you or your husband will do when or if it happens to you. Range training or not. Legally there is a world of difference in taking a life on the street than an intruder in your home.

I all know is this...god forbid, if you ever do pull the trigger on someone you damned well better kill them and hope they are armed as well or your ass will be doing time.

Been there

Anonymous said...

Carjacked in Flowwod? Certainly not. That's Rankin - God Bless Us - County.

Found in Pearl? Well, still Rankin.

Now - only the Madison County Jackson haters can come on here and espouse their crap. Guess we need to start the countdown at 5 or 6 since half the usual crowd will be left out.

6....5....4.....

Anonymous said...

They are hunting you....always know that. Ladies its hard but get off your cell phones when you pull up to gas stations.....or to your house.....

Anonymous said...

@ 4:39... my tundra was stolen from the courthouse gym in madison week of christmas... madison PD told me it was 3rd one in the same week from that parking lot. Recovered in ridgeland near the elementary school at apartments on lake harbour dreive

Anonymous said...

Guess it won't get posted, but, I'll say it anyway: I thought that Whole Foods was supposed to be the reversing factor in the death spiral.
Seriously, carjack in what is, arguably, the nicest shopping area in Jackson, surrounded by people.
There is no place that you are safe in Jackson, and I live 3/4 mile from Highland Village.

Anonymous said...

A friend's truck was broken into at Banner Hall at 1:30 PM on Thursday Jan 21st while he rented a tuxedo for his son's wedding. A second truck was broken into at the same time while the owner ate lunch. Another friend's truck was broken into while he ate at Char last week. Had the child been younger i. e. didn't vacate the car this Chevron Highland Village "brazen auto theft" could have been much worse.

If my memory is correct a doctor was car jacked in Fondren then shot and dumped off of Lakeland Dr within the last two weeks and recently a city councilman named Stokes who's so stupid he makes Al Sharpton look like an english professor wants to make Jackson a sanctuary city for thugs.

What’s not to like about Jackson?

Anonymous said...

Until now this is the first I have read or heard about any of the incidents mentioned in this article or in the comments. What worries me greatly is what has happened and where that I don't know about. How many more cars have been hijacked or broken into in numbers at the same location? Why is the media not reporting this?

Anonymous said...

Hope you killed 'em 4:38 PM.

I WILL.

Anonymous said...

A friend's truck was broken into at Banner Hall at 1:30 PM on Thursday Jan 21st while he rented a tuxedo for his son's wedding. A second truck was broken into at the same time while the owner ate lunch.

AND you'll never hear a thing about it from JEFF GOOD the Fraud.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I were eating at seafood revolution on a Saturday night and my care was stolen and 3 other vehicles were broken into. Mattice has that shopping center and he lives 2 houses down from me in NE Jackson. Never heard a word from him

Anonymous said...

Car thefts are rampant in Jackson. They are never reported on local news. I've personally been a victim multiple times. If you drive a ford truck just know it's going to happen to you at some point. As far as it happening in Madison or rankin counties, it does happen. The difference is if they are caught in either county, D.A. Guest will nail their ass to the wall. In Jackson, it's a slap on the wrist then turn them back out on society.

Anonymous said...

Hell... we have had more than 8 house break ins since new years in cypress lake in madison. Remember the lady tied up in her house in cypress lake. Didn't make news until 4 days later. That guy had a gun to her head as well

Anonymous said...

Why rob people in rankin and Madison? That's where the money is! Duh!

Anonymous said...

Mattice has that shopping center and he lives 2 houses down from me in NE Jackson. Never heard a word from him.

Of course you won't. BTW, vote for Kaisch, Bush or Rubio. Those are the Barbour approved candidates for NE Jackson.

Anonymous said...

The tire factory will give all these thugs a good living wage.

Anonymous said...

A good living wage. They'll settle down, become monogamus, pay a mortgage, get involved in their children's schools, save to help their children avoid college debt and stop randomly humping twerkers at nightclubs without condoms.

Anonymous said...

I'm just gonna play the devil's advocate here & point out that some fault in all of these auto burglaries & thefts lays on those that continue to leave valuables and/or keys in their vehicles! When people stop being so irresponsible, lackadaisical, immune to their surroundings, etc., the number of these types of crimes will reduce DRASTICALLY. That said, I will also be one of the first to pull out my firearm on one of these low-lifes & hold them at gunpoint until police arrive if I witness them attempting to break into or steal another's vehicle. My firearm is concealed on me & easily accessible EVERY time I exit my vehicle. I NEVER leave my keys, my purse, my phone, my son's book bag, NOTHING worth stealing in my vehicle. EVER. The more common these things become in citizens' behavior, the better! If you carry a firearm, but leave it in your vehicle when you go inside, then it's GOING TO GET TAKEN PERIOD. Police are working their asses off to protect you from the bad guys - they don't have the extra time or manpower to spend on protecting you from yourself.

Anonymous said...

The most frightening aspect of this incident, he picked a car out with a child inside. What were his actual intentions? This isn't a simple car theft or burglary.

Anonymous said...

This constant PMS fight between Madison and Jackson is old. If you live in Jackson and like it, good for you. If you live in Madison and like it, good for you. Otherwise, take two Midols and give it up.

Anonymous said...

He picked a car with a child inside. Nothing more valuable and not a simple auto theft it burglary. What did that child experience in that car?

Anonymous said...

Is it our fault @8:42 PM when we leave valuables inside of our homes to be burglarized? Since I'm not allowed to conceal carry my weapon into every locale under the sun once I depart my vehicle should I leave it at home on those trips when I know the destination in advance? Should I ask the married and unmarried female members of my family to don chastity belts, or some other sort of genital protection, to reduce their odds of being forceably raped or violated? Please, since you are all-knowing, share with us the rest of your methods to protect yourself from harm inside the public prison walls.

If the Truth was Known said...

8:42 PM

Honest hard work productive citizens should adjust their behavior to protect themselves from the 5% criminal element.

Why can't the 5% criminal element be thinned out by imprisonment?

Oh, I forgot. The liberal, black lives matter, democrats,crowd coddle these 5%.

Anonymous said...

I'm anonymous, and I got opinions too!

Anonymous said...

I really feel for the poor souls that never could afford to move out of Jackson/ Hinds County.

Regarding the idiots that can afford to leave, but have chosen to remain . . . I have no sympathy.

Anonymous said...

9:12: "Is it our fault @8:42 PM when we leave valuables inside of our homes to be burglarized?"

"SOME fault in all of these AUTO burglaries & thefts lays on those that continue to leave valuables and/or keys in their VEHICLES! When people stop being so irresponsible, lackadaisical, immune to their surroundings, etc., the number of THESE types of crimes will reduce DRASTICALLY."

9:12 "Since I'm not allowed to conceal carry my weapon into every locale under the sun once I depart my vehicle should I leave it at home on those trips when I know the destination in advance?"

Why are you NOT ALLOWED? Take a day, take a course, and GET ALLOWED. Geez. No excuses.

9:15: "Why can't the 5% criminal element be thinned out by imprisonment?"

It is what it is. My frustration on our catch & release issue is as strong as any, believe me!

I was simply pointing out that if people would stop leaving valuables in their vehicles, then there would be nothing to steal - easy as that.


Sarah Palin said...

9:04 PM You are a sexist pig using a women period as a definition of being in a foul mood or cranky.

Anonymous said...

Y'all are all shallow weak beings of a do nothing fashion. Half of these posts are completely missing the point, or are swallowed by bickerings of "verbiage". Get a life... A real one!! This is the pussification of America on a local scale. Pick your balls up...not the tennis kind, and hurt some feelings...and some people too.. We are two generations removed from what was a great country, with great patriotic people. Our grandfathers should be ashamed. Screw politics and correctness and get your asses out there and do what is right. It may even make you feel better, without the help of Xanax or adderrol. Quit talking behind your cute electronic devices. Get out there. Get dirty. Get involved. Take this city back. It will only take a few random acts of "kindness " to do so. This guy risked his family for someone he had never met. YOU DO IT!!

Anonymous said...

TIP:
I know a woman who had her purse stolen from the front passenger seat of her car in Jackson while she was pumping gas (her gas tank is on the driver's side of the car, so she pulled up to the gas station, opened her door, and started pumping gas, when someone ran up to the passenger side, grabbed her purse, and jumped in a car and sped off).

Ever since I heard this story (know the woman) I *always* lock my car doors now while pumping gas.

Yes, I know....we shouldn't have to live this way...but right now it seems we do. Fellow women out there - you might want to do this also. Seems they are targeting women on this because we're more likely to keep our purses in the passenger seat (how many guys keep valuable stuff there).

Scary about the child; glad he or she is ok.

Anonymous said...

Bigger issue - if JPD says this is a simple car theft, well the kid was in the car when the man entered the car, that is not car theft! Moreover, just because shots were not fired does not mean the man did not have a weapon. Obviously, there was some sort of threat or the kid would not have gotten out of the car and the gas station staff would not have gotten involved. I smell a cover up so Yarber can tout all he is doing to keep Jackson safe. This is a kid. Not a purse. Feel free to steal my handbag. Don't mess with my children.

Anonymous said...

Rather than repost hearsay written by a supposed family member of the victim from Next Door, JJ may want to reach out to the actual victim here and report/blog their account of what happened. The truth is out there.

Anonymous said...

Has everyone forgotten that 10 days ago Lee Vance (JPD) put out a warning that 6 women had been the subject of recent assaults in Jackson.

And then he refused to give locations or provide details.

And we, the people, were fine with that. Like a Frog in a boiling pot.

Anonymous said...


Carjacking – taking a vehicle from the owner or driver by force or threat of force – is a more serious crime than theft, due to the violent nature of the offense. For example, a person who forces a driver out of her car under the threat of death and drives away has committed carjacking. In Mississippi, armed carjackings are punished more severely than other carjackings. (Miss. Code Ann. § 97-3-117.)

Sounds like a carjacking. Whether or not a gun was in the mix.

Would an unarmed man be so "brazen"?

Anonymous said...

@12:59 - didn't they catch those guys mainly for carjackings in south Jackson. Wasn't one of them Yarber's neighbor? The JPD had an attaboy press conference with Yarber there on tv.

Kingfish said...

No force or threat of force was used. He just jumped into car with keys in ignition and took off. He just walked up, got in, and drove off as if the car was his. Police said auto theft.

Anonymous said...

Crime classifications have always been manipulated at the collection point. That is how the stats are gamed.

To: February 17, 2016 at 10:07 PM

You didn't answer February 17, 2016 at 9:12 PM. What is your excuse for home burglaries?

Anonymous said...

@8:42...You're going to "hold them at gun point'?? I have to call BULLSHIT on that. You going to pull the trigger on an unarmed person when they're running away from you while you're pointing your pistol at them? If you catch someone doing what you describe, unless they have a gun they are going to just run away. Are you saying you're going to start sending rounds down range at some two bit thief trying to get away from you?

Unless you physically get a grip on someone you're not going to hold a damn thing other than this gun you say you have.

Anonymous said...

My advice, without comments about the criminal element that has become a plague in Jackson (and the surrounding metro area).
Wake up people! Quit becoming an easy victim. It is really simple, 1.Be aware of your surroundings, if someone looks suspicious get your gas somewhere else, 2. When you exit your vehicle take your keys out and lock the doors, 3. Be armed and alert as to who is approaching you while you pump your gas, 4. While I certainly would advise due restraint, don't hesitate to use deadly force if you are attacked.

Yes, if you shoot one of these thugs you will no doubt spend some uncomfortable time being interrogated and probably tried in court, so be able to articulate your legal reason for what you did and remember it is far better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

Anonymous said...

I might agree on the charge if the woman was out of the car, inside the store, and the guy slipped in. But with a child in the car already, who fled in fear, along with the fear of the mother, and the definition under Miss. Code, this clearly meets the definition:

"(1) Whoever shall knowingly or recklessly by force or violence, whether against resistance or by sudden or stealthy seizure or snatching, or by putting in fear, or attempting to do so, or by any other means shall take a motor vehicle from another person’s immediate actual possession shall be guilty of carjacking."

"by any other means" - and - "fear" - and "or by sudden or stealthy seizure or snatching"

Clearly is carjacking, just a difference of whether it's "armed" for charge and sentencing.

This was committed in their immediate presence, with a child still in the car. One could argue that it's attempted kidnapping. Even if the Mom was inside paying, this is immediate possession, as her purse, etc were in the car just yards away at most.

The following words and phrases shall have the meanings ascribed herein unless the context clearly indicates otherwise:

"Carjacking" means taking of a motor vehicle from another person’s immediate actual possession knowingly or recklessly by force or violence, whether against resistance or by sudden or stealthy seizure or snatching, or by putting in fear, or attempting to do so, or by any other means.

Mississippi § 97-3-113. Mississippi Carjacking Act of 1993
Sections 97-3-113, 97-3-115 and 97-3-117 shall be known and may be cited as the "Mississippi Carjacking Act of 1993."

Anonymous said...

There are always numerous young male employees at this Chevron since they have full service pumps and a tire shop. The fact that this guy chose this station to carry out his crime combined with him stealing a fairly modest car, sure gives the appearance he was attempting to take more than he got away with. No other reason to steal a Scion with multiple able-bodied guys in the immediate vicinity that would possibly be able to stop him.

Anonymous said...

@ 7:08

Where did you hear about the home break ins in Cypress Lake? I live there and have heard nothing of the sort.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like JPD and JJ need some schooling on criminal statutes here in the hospitality state.

Anonymous said...

4:19 yesterday... "This segment lost their sense of humanity long, long ago. The only thing that kept them in check for years was the fear of reprisal from society. With the liberal culture permitting Jackson and Hinds County, that element of fear has now been removed........opening the door for the entitlement mentality to take over. Jackson is too far gone to save."

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. IT'S A CULTURAL/SOCIETY THING.

Until mamas teach their daughters to keep their legs together until the right time - and until fathers are present to teach young boys how to become young men, this will continue. There's no judgement or expectancy anymore in that culture.

Anonymous said...

Evidently, only those of us who work at Highland Village have noticed the criminal element coming under the interstate and into the Village and Maywood Mart. High rent is not the only reason tenants are moving out of both locations and no, the landlords won't tell you about what has been going on.

Anonymous said...

7:08 PM, I know a man who stole a Rankin County sheriff deputy's car. It cost him a big 3 months in jail. That included the time spent for drugs in his possession also.
Rankin is getting to be just like Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Precinct 4 substation in Maywood Mart or HV would be a welocme addition.

Guess that would look bad and the rent is too high.

Damn shame Jeff Good is only fixated on potholes.

Anonymous said...

The people are loosing their hope the authorities and elected officials will do the job of protecting them. It has been building for some time. Right now we see the people trying to get rid of the life long politicians and replace them with people who have not been a dole on the govt. all of their life.
The next step is for the people to take matters in hand. You can see how many people are preparing for this by the increase in gun sales. When the people do decide to do something about what has happened to the U.S. I hope they do not forget about those who have helped it to become what it is today. Getting rid of the criminals is the first step but we can't forget about those people who have encouraged them.

Anonymous said...

To February 17, 2016 at 7:02 PM (and collaborator hater at 8:16 PM)
Regarding this lie: "My wife and I were eating at seafood revolution on a Saturday night and my care (sic) was stolen and 3 other vehicles were broken into. Mattice (sic) has that shopping center and he lives 2 houses down from me in NE Jackson. Never heard a word from him"

Straight up LIES. These incidents did NOT occur. I have just confirmed that with RPD and the restaurant, out of concern, as I was there Saturday night as well. Didn't recognize you "neighbor". You're obviously not a friend of Mr. Mattiace, and you're also not a neighbor, as I live close to him and we would all know about this and any of us in our area would call him to let him know if something like that happened to us. He would absolutely reach out if any such thing had happened. Make your stupid point (whatEVER that might be other than hate) without telling lies about other people and businesses. Slander and libel come to mind, among other things about your personal character that KF would not approve to appear here.

Anonymous said...

You are anonymous 12:40 PM. You could be the one LYING.

Anonymous said...

Not at all. Is that all you've got, 1:11? Make the calls yourself. Then let's call a neighborhood meeting and talk about it . . . oh, wait, you're lying and don't live there.

Anonymous said...

I am saddened by the way this discussion has digressed. The incident regarding the incident at the Chevron was reported on Nextdoor as a community update and allow members of that forum to be aware of crime in area, as well as give acknowledgement to the employees at the Chevron.

The incident is one of many similar occupancies in the area as of late.

What makes this incident stand out is the fact hats child (10 years old) was incar when event occurred. The entire event was over within 30 seconds.

Please keep speculation about what crime was or additional digression to yourself.

Instead let's work together to prevent additional crimes from occurring

Obama Skreet (fmr Flag Chapel Road) said...

"Perception of Crime"

Anonymous said...

Jackwagon @ Feb 18 12:40 p.m.

The poster said he/she was there "on A Saturday". Didn't say he/she was there "this past Saturday". The rest of your nonsensical post isn't even worth mentioning.

Anonymous said...

Please keep speculation about what crime was or additional digression to yourself.

Please get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely, call a neighborhood meeting. Do it. You won't.

Anonymous said...

So, so incredibly childish, 3:43, 3:49 and 4:08.

Anonymous said...

How can we as a community come together with positive solutions to enhance our community, provide safety for our loved ones and prevent this situation from reoccurring?

Let's stop bickering over county lines and start building the community we all seem to want.

A meeting with JPD and the mayor and the council might be a start.

Anyone know any communities that have turned the tide?

Any urban planners out there?

Anonymous said...

I love you, 5:13. Thank you for the positive breath of fresh air. The Mayor and JPD have held community meetings. LeFleur East is trying. There's also Downtown Partners, Fondren Renaissance, Greater Jackson Chamber to name a few. If you read the KF followers, you would think that tomorrow is the end of the world, but there are great organizations and great people doing positive work every day.

Anonymous said...

LeFleur East? There is no such neighborhood in NEJax as LeFleur East.

Anonymous said...

Call the meeting 5:11 PM. Call the meeting. It would be "childish" to threaten such and then run away from the threat. Call it. CALL IT.

Anonymous said...

lefleureast.org

Anonymous said...

It was more than simple carjacking. The gas station employee was injured trying to stop it by being drug into the road as the thief made his getaway.

Anonymous said...

And the child was in the car, though managed to escape,,

Anonymous said...

You won't find LeFleur East anywhere on a Jackson plat. There is no such neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

8:13

You also won't find "Downtown Partners, Fondren Renaissance, Greater Jackson Chamber" on a Jackson plat. There are no such neighborhoods.

Good work.... although I missed the part stating that any of those mentioned were neighborhoods platted by the city. That must have been one of those deleted posts.

In fact, what's your point?

Anonymous said...

To the Renaissance arguers: Andrew Mattiace would not be contacting you over vehicle break-ins. First, quite frankly, he doesn't care. Second, break-ins are quite common at Renaissance as it is at most shopping centers. His nephew, Mark, might would contact you, but that's highly unlikely, as well. And they both live in Lefleur East.

It would be akin to a used car salesman calling you after hearing the engine blew in the car he recently showed you.

Anonymous said...

Andrew lives in Eastover, not LeFleur East.

Anonymous said...

Point is many people in madison and Ridgeland as well as flowood seem to not know that alot of the people that own businesses in those communities live in NE Jackson. Puckett machinery in flowood owners live in NE Jackson as we as owners of coat tails and many other developers and also many restaurants in ridgeland and madison as well.

Anonymous said...

@9:41

What's your point? Their stuff gets stolen too. Hence why they are now fleeing as well.

Are you trying to say that successful people don't live in Madison and Rankin?

Anonymous said...

I think the point is old money lives in Eastover. The desirable parts of Fashionable NE Jackson are shrinking every year it seems.

Anonymous said...

9:27,

you are incorrect and your ignorant assumption of mutual exclusivity is quite likely intentional, though ignorant either way

Anonymous said...

Obtuse much 1:01?

Anonymous said...

Catching up on the original story after seeing the update and, WOW. For the record, Andrew cares and he would call,(IF anything had happened) and what did Jeff Good do to you idiots? And how did they come up in this Chevron conversation? I don't know why any of your comments surprise me. Guess I'll remain anonymous too.

Anonymous said...

Eh, I know a guy who had someone attempt something similar at one of the gas stations just east of I-55 in Madison. Heard someone try the passenger door, then saw the guy start walking around the front of the car. Pulled his pistol and the guy bolted.

My opinion was, forget the pistol. Just grab the gas pump and soak him.

Anonymous said...

This whole thread is going about like the history of Jackson. Something serious happens. The people argue about something that doesn't matter at all. People forget about the serious problem.
Who gives a damn what each part of Jackson is called? Everything inside of the city limits is turning into a cesspool. People are arguing about the name of each turd.

Anonymous said...

9:41

Wrong. Mr. Puckett, of Puckett Machinery, lives in Bridgewater. I attended a party at his home there.

Anonymous said...

Aw, good for you 6:50. Yes, Puckett now lives in Bridgewater. Did live in NE J until recent years though.

Anonymous said...

I believe 6:50's point is that 9:41 and 12:01 are wrong. Old Money is leaving NE Jackson at a rapid rate. What's your point in that he lived there until recent years? A lot of people lived in NE Jackson until recent years. When they finally realized that there was no hope for the area, and they were tired of being victims, they left. Like all of the other smart people did.

Anonymous said...

Not accurate 10:22. Further, quite brazen, rude and arrogant of you to state that all of the people in NE Jackson are not smart.

Anonymous said...

Has there been any breaks in this case? Any updates from JPD?

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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